Community Conversation => Transgender talk => Topic started by: rib on August 19, 2015, 01:15:09 PM Return to Full Version
Title: Birthday. newly out ftm
Post by: rib on August 19, 2015, 01:15:09 PM
Post by: rib on August 19, 2015, 01:15:09 PM
My birthday is coming up in a couple weeks but I'm already worrying if I hang around my friends or family I'll end up feeling bad because they haven't gotten very comfortable with me yet. But if I isolate myself I'll maybe still end up feeling bad. I don't want to be rediculous my mental health is kind of fragile though
Sent from my VS985 4G using Tapatalk
Sent from my VS985 4G using Tapatalk
Title: Re: Birthday. newly out ftm
Post by: KristinaM on August 20, 2015, 07:45:46 AM
Post by: KristinaM on August 20, 2015, 07:45:46 AM
Are you out to your friends and family yet? You can't be upset with them for mis-gendering you if they don't know they should be doing otherwise. So if you're not out yet, go, have a good time, try to choke down any comments that you perceive as unintentionally hurtful and enjoy your birthday. :)
Do you mind if I ask how old you are? Missing a birthday when you're older is much less suspicious, but if you're still young then you'll probably be expected to attend.
If you are out, then maybe you can designate a friend or family member who is very accepting to kind of run interference for you. They can show up earlier than you and explain your feelings to everyone and ask them to be on their best behavior. Just an idea anyways.
Cheer up, it's really just another day. :)
Do you mind if I ask how old you are? Missing a birthday when you're older is much less suspicious, but if you're still young then you'll probably be expected to attend.
If you are out, then maybe you can designate a friend or family member who is very accepting to kind of run interference for you. They can show up earlier than you and explain your feelings to everyone and ask them to be on their best behavior. Just an idea anyways.
Cheer up, it's really just another day. :)
Title: Re: Birthday. newly out ftm
Post by: rib on August 21, 2015, 07:13:28 PM
Post by: rib on August 21, 2015, 07:13:28 PM
I'm turning 19. And yes I'm out to all the friends and family I would be around. Thanks for your suggestions
Sent from my VS985 4G using Tapatalk
Sent from my VS985 4G using Tapatalk
Title: Re: Birthday. newly out ftm
Post by: Tamika Olivia on August 21, 2015, 07:35:59 PM
Post by: Tamika Olivia on August 21, 2015, 07:35:59 PM
I was listening to a trans focused podcast, and Dina Delicious was on. She said her one regret about her transition was that she pulled away from the people to whom she came out, because she was worried they would feel uncomfortable and make her uncomfortable. She reconnected with them in later years, and the only problem was they felt hurt by the fact that she pulled away.
I'm not sure how well this applies to your situation, if you fear for your sanity or safety, but if you think it's a safe environment... give people a chance. Even if things are tense at first, they may relax in time. You can't work on improving the relationships if you pull away.
I'm not sure how well this applies to your situation, if you fear for your sanity or safety, but if you think it's a safe environment... give people a chance. Even if things are tense at first, they may relax in time. You can't work on improving the relationships if you pull away.