Susan's Place Transgender Resources

I have anxiety issues and I need a better way of dealing with anxiety attacks than alcohol. Please provide alternative ways of dealing with this.

Whenever I have a bout of major anxiety relating to my general depression, social fear or other worries, I usually delve myself into something I can focus on to distract myself from it, like watching a movie, binge watching a tv show or writing; you could try something along those lines.

Meditation, breathing exercises, therapy, anti-anxiety meds, hobbies ( I do crochet, wood working, and gaming). I highly recommend therapy to learn coping mechanisms and getting on a mild anti-depressant at the least.

There is a bunch of stuff to go through.  Cbt, meditation, distraction, tackling your fears head on and habituation of them, changing life patterns to more effectively work around anxiety inducing things, camomile tea and relation, to medication.  Personally, I would never touch a med for it again. But the other stuff can be effective.

What is Cbt?

Distraction is by far the best thing for me so far.

I have an ally at work that I know can calm me down if I have an attack while at work, I just walk over to her and stare at her with this wide-eyed panicked look on my face and she jumps into action, lol.  Basically she just tells me a story to get my mind off whatever it is.

I have a small coloring book that I keep in my purse at all times.  I figure that I don't engage my artistic brain often enough so that's another great form of distraction that I can use on my own.

I also got some meds from my doctor too, Xanax, but I thankfully haven't had to take them yet.

One thing I've noticed about me is I used to launch myself into things in an attempt to master them. I was like a modern day Renaissance man and it was always curious to me the motivation to this. I'd sit around all day and come up with inventions or ideas for businesses, or take up chess, or gaming or archery. I'd lurch from one thing to another until I got bored and moved on. That all stopped about a month ago when I reached self-realization. I haven't gamed since then, just sat around soaking up my feelings. Everything makes sense now and in a way I don't see myself going back to all the hobbies, I know now they were a cheap plastic mask for my dysphoria.

I think there were a lot or really good distracting options listed earlier. I would like to add a few more. I don't think I saw them but could be mistaken.

-work out-physical exertion helps most with both depression and anxiety
-music either listening to or actually playing an instrument can be a great outlet(although my guitar playing is bad enough to create tension when I have not practiced enough ;)

Joanna

Cognitive behavioural therapy.  It's probably the first thing a therapist would do with you, it's very effective and you can follow the process and do it independently.

It really depends on how long and how severe the anxiety is. If you can do these calming things, I say go for it. I like the coloring books and teas and breathing exercises. They're great tools.
I've had severe anxiety and panic attacks forever--totes unrelated to any trans issue...some people are just wired to be anxious especially if it runs in the family. There's no shame on taking meds if you need them in that case. I've been on meds for a long time and they've made a world of difference in me being able to function. No panic attacks at work now thankfully:)


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Have you tried yoga?

I think it's a great antidote to stress...

Julie x

for my anxiety attacks the first thing I do is to isolate myself entirely from the trigger hopefully with out over reacting
if I am at work I will drive down to the beach and try to regroup my thoughts, in public places I must leave the environment and start to debrief and unwind, I always try to find what I could have differently and mull this around several times before accepting, I also find that if I can get some friends house that helps me unravel the mess without just over consuming booze and drugs. I am one whom finds one is too many and 100 is not enough so it very important to me to not get there. it is very hard I have spent so many years using drugs and booze as my crutch now I am very happy to not go back, I just have to make that my choice not booze, but I have no magic cure each event requires finding what works for me. breaking away from the source has to be first and biggest move to being able to recover within my control preference

I take my cj7 out and drive it, driving with absolutely no purpose, maybe hit a drive through for an unsweet tea from time to time.  My jeep is my escape.  I also skip rocks on a lake where its peaceful.  This is better than any medicine or alcohol.   

(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.jeepforum.com%2Fforum%2Fattachments%2Ff8%2F2333218d1439923873-james-83-renegade-section-section-build-image-3645664949.jpg&hash=17d4f69f9ee17216550b1157ddabc721963d9f57)

I am sort of over the worst anxiety right now but I am also dealing with dealing with depression from alcohol usage. Does anyone know if yoga actually helps?

its usually easier for me to with depression than anxiety.

Is there any hobby or activity that you've ever been curious about? Try reading about it and giving it a shot.

Things I've done or have been recommended to me:

Deep breathing
Take a walk
Exercise
Meditation
Cognitive Behavior Therapy
Watch a funny movie or TV show, nothing deep.
Xanax (I don't use it anymore bc it can become addictive, but it was my go to for years.)
Talking with a non-stressful person

Most importantly, no alcohol!

I like to call up my bestie and talk to him he knows how to really distract me and he's also a really great listener. or finding funny youtube video's to distract me. my mom keeps telling to ground myself and meditate cause she's really into that kind of thing but I have yet to try it out, also I find that playing some video games works too..it all depends how really bad my anxieties and depression are that day. 

I would like to something with an adrenaline rush. If its really dangerous and I get hurt, no biggie.

Quote from: rachel89 on August 25, 2015, 07:35:16 PM
I would like to something with an adrenaline rush. If its really dangerous and I get hurt, no biggie.

You could try something like go-kart racing or parasailing; not sure how practical that is for you through.

go- karts sound like fun you could try that, some cities have ones were they are like street cars and require you to be of a certain age and have your drivers licence. Or even try bungee jumping that could be fun too? never tried that one cause I am a big chicken when it comes to heights lol xD ]. You could try rock climbing as well not sure if that is an adrenaline thing tho just trying to put things out there to help you out.

I developed a lot of anxiety when I was with my ex-bf... Every time I started having a panic-attack I would call up a friend and talk. Usually was enough of a distraction and comfort to help it pass.

 For dysphoria; I affirm that this physical body it is what I am right now and then I make myself imagine what I will look and feel like.
For social anxiety I go through and pretend like people are inanimate objects and I am drawing them, I imagine the layers of bone skin and organs, I imagine them as a 3 dimensional model. I also focus on feeling all of my body becoming aware of the exact position I'm in, feeling my heart beat.
I also count my breaths to my heartbeats if I need to calm down fast:
I breathe in for 3 heartbeats.
Hold it in for 5 heartbeats.
Exhale it for 8 heartbeats.
I do some of those unhealthy methods to but I'd rather not encourage nor trigger anyone else.

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I used to deal with panic attacks and anxiety by trying to reassure myself that the anxieties I was feeling were wrong... that people don't see me as abnormal or a bother, that I really do look passable and normal, that people aren't just being nice to me out of pity. That didn't work, frankly. Because I could never convince myself that my fears were wrong about me. All it led to was a cycle of feeling relieved when I received positive affirmations from other people, but still ending up going into the same panics because no amount of affirmations fundamentally removed the things I was constantly worried about.

My new strategy is basically to realize every time anxious fears come up, "these worries aren't real. They're just anxiety talking." Recognizing that the anxious thought pattern itself is defective, and thus does not deserve the time of day, it's just a defective thought making me abnormally afraid of things that I shouldn't be afraid of in the first place, helps me deal with them.

When I was an Alpha male I never had the anxiety attacks its only when my dysphoria had time to simmer with free time on my hand that it emerged.  I can remember my first full blown anxiety attack after a day of dysphoria and stress. I woke up in a panic,I struggled to breathe and my heart pumped wildly. I remember getting out of bed and walking around the apartment and going to get some ice water from the fridge. I remember feeling very sleepy when I returned to my bed but I was scared of falling asleep, though I would die. Its was horrible and then I find out that these are the symptoms that many others feel. Its kinda comfort to not be alone. Over time I began to sense the "dark space" (thats what I call it) approaching and I have learned to keep it at bay. How did I keep it at bay, I don't drink but I smoke weed but any substance whach further disrupts the chemical balance of my mind increased the anxiety. So I have reduced my consumption to 1/3 of what I used to have. I also start focusing on something that interests me while I feel it coming, I can get on the phone, go for a walk and shopping also works for me. I just know that once it hits me I have to ride it out and know that there is light at the end of the attack.I feel that you need to focus your mind on something else when you feel the "dark space" approaching. I hope this helps.

Quote from: warlockmaker on August 27, 2015, 01:23:36 AM
When I was an Alpha male I never had the anxiety attacks its only when my dysphoria had time to simmer with free time on my hand that it emerged.  I can remember my first full blown anxiety attack after a day of dysphoria and stress. I woke up in a panic,I struggled to breathe and my heart pumped wildly. I remember getting out of bed and walking around the apartment and going to get some ice water from the fridge. I remember feeling very sleepy when I returned to my bed but I was scared of falling asleep, though I would die. Its was horrible and then I find out that these are the symptoms that many others feel. Its kinda comfort to not be alone. Over time I began to sense the "dark space" (thats what I call it) approaching and I have learned to keep it at bay. How did I keep it at bay, I don't drink but I smoke weed but any substance whach further disrupts the chemical balance of my mind increased the anxiety. So I have reduced my consumption to 1/3 of what I used to have. I also start focusing on something that interests me while I feel it coming, I can get on the phone, go for a walk and shopping also works for me. I just know that once it hits me I have to ride it out and know that there is light at the end of the attack.I feel that you need to focus your mind on something else when you feel the "dark space" approaching. I hope this helps.

I've not had the severe difficulties that you've had hon but I would try and stop the weed altogether. It won't help over the long term, believe me. I went through a period in my early twenties of 'partying hard' and I'm paying a heavy price for it now.

J xx

I am depressed or sad about 80% of the day, but what prevents me from thinking about is, learning! just learn something, languages maybe. Why? It takes time and concentration that you would spent on anxiety or bad feelings and to that, it trains your brain.

If you dont like learning, then try meditation.
Its not even as hard to do as everyone tells, I started it when I just needed to calm down.
So you sit yourself on the ground, on the bed or somewhere (not a chair)

sit this way:
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and concentrate
1. on your beath, IN - trough the nose, OUT - trough the mouth
2. try to dont think about anything
--> if this shouldnt work, you have your eyes closed and try to see forms or object in your eyes, try imagine there would be a circle in the middle of [what you see, when your eyes are closed]
do this every evening or every second evening and ... you feel better!

oh and what I forgot... nearly

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aq-CKdT6IG4

listen to this if you cant concentrate on the inner eye thing.

Make the sound level quite low, not any loud.

If you have candles that smell good, use them (or buy them)

Download a fish tank app on your phone. I have a bible in my bag that I read when I have anxiety. My favorite verse is Philippians 4:13 - "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." if religion isn't your thing, keep a calming phrase on you, such as I've made it through everything else up to this point

Quote from: rachel89 on August 25, 2015, 07:35:16 PM
I would like to something with an adrenaline rush. If its really dangerous and I get hurt, no biggie.

Get on a skateboard. Bomb some hills. Get wrecked!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UEOdVwqLIAc

Take up running. Actually don't take up running, running sucks.

 Really felt I needed to put in my 2 cents f.w.i.w. You really need to get off the alcohol train as a method of coping , it will only make your life worse. I speak from experience. I got on that ride when still in school and was lucky enough to break away from it in my early 20's. Everyones advice about distractions helping is spot on. For me they needed to require intense physical and mental focus to work. The down side is they WILL eventually stop working and then you will have to find something new to do.The other problem with using distraction as a means of coping is you are not addressing the issues that cause your anxiety and depression. When the activity is finished the root cause is still there. My opinion is they are really just a band-aid solution to much bigger and complex issues.
You commented about taking up dangerous activities and you didn't care if you get hurt. You REALLY want to rethink this position and my opinion on this comes from deep personal experience. Spent the first half of my life engaged in VERY high risk jobs and hobbies ( not sure if you could call some of the stuff hobbies? ). The kind of activities that are not if you might get hurt but were you WILL get hurt and have a very REAL risk of dying. This kind of stuff WILL catch up to you. Laying in the hospital in so much pain you pray to die and beg family members to bring you a gun so you can kill yourself is not a path I'd wish on anyone and I've been there and done that. Guess what the end result is. You end up surviving all the high risk stuff with a train load of injuries and spend everyday for the rest of your life in physical pain and all your gender issues are still beating you down inside everyday. This is my life now!
I guess what I'm driving at with all this is get your butt to a good therapist and learn safe ways to cope with your situation and let them help you to help yourself to a better life. I've paid a terrible physical price thinking I was coping just fine on my own. I really would hate to see anyone else go down the same road I have, what's at the end isn't very good.

I was on Ativan and Cymbalta for about 6 years. I haven't taken it almost 2 years now and I feel better knowing that I pass as the gender I identify as. I still get light headed and sick in my stomach when I'm at sit down restaurants because I have social anxiety disorder. I also start getting panicky when I have to go to the store or something by myself. ALSO with my job I have to travel and getting ready to go somewhere a few hours away makes my head spin. I had to learn to just kind of deal with it. I sit and breath for a moment and then I just go do what I have to do. When I'm finally in the middle of what I'm doing I don't panic as much. I know when I'm eating out that if I start thinking about panicking that's when I start getting sick. I usually have to go to the bathroom and throw some water on my face to try and snap out of it. I've been working out a lot more and that kind of helps my mood out bit. I'm sorry you're dealing with it but just know you aren't the only one. Someone is panicking whenever you are lol.

Medication does help to some degree but after awhile you start feeling numb and tired all the time. I did not like that feeling. It was nice at first because it helped me relax but then when I started HRT I wanted to start resolving my issues on my own. Slowly I am getting there and you will too.

There are many different ways of dealing with anxiety. While I may not be trans I am gender fluid which in of itself present its own challenges. I have had anxiety for a long time the ways that I deal with it are, breathing exercises just take a minute and focus on your breathing. Another good way is to take a cold shower or a bath this will lower your body temperature and heart rate allowing you to calm down. Listening to music is also a great way to deal with anxiety, however be careful what type of music you listen to. talking on here is also great to because sometimes you need to vent, and we all understand that and we have all been there. If you just need to talk feel free to pm me I just the forum daily.

Hi -

There's some much to say.  Here's the short version:

• Thereapy, therapy, therapy
• Support goup, support group, support group
• Antidepressant, etc . . .

Of course, keep talking here . . . btw: you are a terrific person and very brave.  We all admire and love you.

Take good care,

R