Community Conversation => Transgender talk => Topic started by: rachel89 on August 27, 2015, 10:07:38 AM Return to Full Version
Title: Second Puberty
Post by: rachel89 on August 27, 2015, 10:07:38 AM
Post by: rachel89 on August 27, 2015, 10:07:38 AM
I am realizing that the thing about going through a second puberty and having all the wild emotions and bad judgment that comes with being that age is not a joke. I think I may have alienated well-meaning people in my life because of it.
Title: Re: Second Puberty
Post by: Alexis2107 on August 27, 2015, 10:46:00 AM
Post by: Alexis2107 on August 27, 2015, 10:46:00 AM
Mine has just begun, really. It is terrible, with the emotions.
Title: Re: Second Puberty
Post by: FTMax on August 27, 2015, 11:09:44 AM
Post by: FTMax on August 27, 2015, 11:09:44 AM
The only thing that has been worse for me in second puberty has been my acne. Like, good lord. I thought it could not have possibly been worse than the first time, but man. It is terrible.
Title: Re: Second Puberty
Post by: rachel89 on August 27, 2015, 12:03:03 PM
Post by: rachel89 on August 27, 2015, 12:03:03 PM
How should I deal with the worst of it?
Title: Re: Second Puberty
Post by: cindik on August 27, 2015, 01:21:47 PM
Post by: cindik on August 27, 2015, 01:21:47 PM
I really wish there were some sort of mentoring program.
When I look at trans women early in transition, sometimes I wince. Then I remember what I was like back then, and think "oh, yeah. That was me at that point. Duh." In some ways, I was like a 12 year old with no parents to tell me "you're not going out of the house dressed like that, young lady!"
It's nice to have mentors who are on the same path as you, and may have already had the experiences you're going through. That would help with the physical changes, the emotional upheavals, the anxiety.
And I think it might be nice to have mentors who grew up living with the social expectations of the gender you're expressing. At one point, I thought those assigned female at birth could help those who were moving toward a more feminine presentation, and those assigned male at birth could help those moving toward a more masculine presentation.
Then I remembered how bad I was at fitting in with male culture, and realized this was not quote as workable as I thought.
But it would be nice if we had some allies who could work as mentors.
Even though I'm 30 years in, I still have questions about etiquette in certain situations. I went to a health club that had only a couple of changing booths in the locker room, and many of the women came already dressed to work out. It wasn't an option for me because I was coming from work, and I felt like I might have been missing some of the finer points of how to navigate this situation. Likewise the first few times that I went to a workshop or retreat where I shared a room with someone I had never met. I worry both about being overmodest and undermodest. And so I usually try to avoid those situations, with the result that I still don't learn, and am still anxious about them.
So I'm wondering how we could recruit allies who could help us, stand by us, accompany us to new places where we might need some reassurance.
When I look at trans women early in transition, sometimes I wince. Then I remember what I was like back then, and think "oh, yeah. That was me at that point. Duh." In some ways, I was like a 12 year old with no parents to tell me "you're not going out of the house dressed like that, young lady!"
It's nice to have mentors who are on the same path as you, and may have already had the experiences you're going through. That would help with the physical changes, the emotional upheavals, the anxiety.
And I think it might be nice to have mentors who grew up living with the social expectations of the gender you're expressing. At one point, I thought those assigned female at birth could help those who were moving toward a more feminine presentation, and those assigned male at birth could help those moving toward a more masculine presentation.
Then I remembered how bad I was at fitting in with male culture, and realized this was not quote as workable as I thought.
But it would be nice if we had some allies who could work as mentors.
Even though I'm 30 years in, I still have questions about etiquette in certain situations. I went to a health club that had only a couple of changing booths in the locker room, and many of the women came already dressed to work out. It wasn't an option for me because I was coming from work, and I felt like I might have been missing some of the finer points of how to navigate this situation. Likewise the first few times that I went to a workshop or retreat where I shared a room with someone I had never met. I worry both about being overmodest and undermodest. And so I usually try to avoid those situations, with the result that I still don't learn, and am still anxious about them.
So I'm wondering how we could recruit allies who could help us, stand by us, accompany us to new places where we might need some reassurance.