Susan's Place Transgender Resources

I have three beautiful children. Twin daughters and a son. They're all 7 years old. My son is technically my stepson, but I don't much care for that terminology. I have come here concerning my daughter who has all her young life been a "tomboy". I need some advice from all of you wonderful people.

In the past few years my daughter Mallory has been increasingly acting boyish and has several times stated she wants to become one. I can remember back when she was around 3 stating when she grows up she wanted to be her twin sister's brother. Now to be clear I am 100% for the LGBT community, always have been, always will be.

My concern is how where do I go from here? Deep down in my heart I truly feel my little girl is actually a boy. I am just so confused on what to do... Could it be a phase? Could a 7 year old really feel that she's a boy in a girl's body? I would more than appreciate any advice given. Thank you.

I don't know for sure, but letting your daughter guide you somewhat would be my suggestion, just not allowing her to do anything that may potentially cause serious harm until you are certain it is the right thing to do. I wish I had opened up about this to my parents long ago, I might have been able to start hormones pre-puberty

Hi MrBot

take a bow for having the courage to even start asking. I am a parent I understand the love you have for your child and the concern to do the right thing. I would be seeking out some professional advice but also encouraging her to express hrself in the way she wants...she may just be a tomboy...my second daughter was a tomeboy till about 12, she never expressed to me that she wanted to be a boy. Then someone flipped a switch when she was about 12 and she when from hating anything girly to the full makeup and dresses which is about were she remained.

IMHO she is already about 80% there having you as a parent for a start, so many posts I read from youngsters that are not believed or ridiculed by families so having a support one takes care of a lot of garbage and the other 20% can be done over time with a good therapist. You daughter will tell you what she wants to do and at 7 it is still young enough for her to explore this safely.

Good luck and welcome to Susans

Sarah T

I just want her to be happy. I often let her dress how she wants, play what she wants, and I'll always let her be what she wants. She doesn't want to always dress like a boy in fear of what other people think, kids mainly. She'll do everything else boy. This summer I had brought up something about Caitlyn Jenner becoming a woman. I guess she had heard me and she was amazed and had the biggest look of hope on her face when I told her men can be women and women can be men because that's what they feel in their hearts. She was so intrigued and excited that she could some day become a boy. I want to make sure that I'm going about this the right way.

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Welcome to Susan's Place. The best way to handle this is to have her see a gender therapist. While it sounds like your daughter is transsexual, you will need an expert diagnoses. After that, she should dress as she is comfortable and when puberty is near, blocker should be provided that will prevent female development until she is old enough to decide what she want. Should she desire to return to the female role, stoping the blockers will allow her to do so. Should she decide to become a male, that path will be available to her with minimal surgery. Mostly you are already doing the right thing by allowing her to see both worlds so the decision will be better informed. I missed a good deal of growing up because I was far to deep in to my problems between age 13 and 23.  I didn't have much of a life as a teen. Do the above and your daughter will have wonderful memory of early childhood and the teen years.

let him be him self . there are some wonderful articles by parents in the news section about raising a child who wants to express the gender opposite of the birth gender. I was conscious of myself as the opposite gender at 4. Times were different and I had to hide who I was. It caused a lot of mental problems for me growing up. A gender counselor would be a good move.

Hi MrJBot, welcome to Susan's. It probably would be helpful to take him to a therapist. I would also ask him how he would like to be referred to. From name to pronouns. Allow him to express his identity openly and freely that way. I look forward to seeing you around the forums. Good luck and Hugs
Mariah

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Perhaps try to find a qualified gender therapist, they should be able to help all of you through this journey.

A big warm welcome to Susan's MrJBot

Firstly, shows a lot of love and concern wanting to find out how to help your son... commendable and inspiring.

I can only agree with the good folks prior to my post regarding gender therapist.

Best wishes to both of you, and your family for the journey you will all be going through.

L Katy  :-*

Hi MrJBot  :icon_wave:

Welcome to Susan's  :)  Glad to have you here, join on in the fun

Hugs

V M