Susan's Place Transgender Resources

A trans guy friend of mine recently posted this to Facebook about a particular page (http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=3038) in the webcomic Questionable Content...

QuoteDisbelief suspension fail! Claire is a transwoman. She has boobs. She has already engaged in a far more empowering expression of control over her body than getting a couple of holes punched in her ears!

I replied...

QuoteActually, you'd be surprised at how immensely significant having one's ears pierced is for many trans women.

He replied...

QuoteBut so much of a big deal it eclipses the memory of growing boobs, etc? The sense of Amaze would make sense to me if it was earrings first, then hormones, but round the other way?

Someone else added...

QuoteI've never thought of earrings as being particularly gendered. Then again I got in trouble for (accurately) drawing my short-haired mum and long-haired, earringed dad in kindy, so maybe I'm not with the majority in that perception.

My response...

QuoteAll I can say is that it is a momentous occasion. Probably because boobs take freakin' two to three years to grow, earrings five seconds. And yes they aren't gendered per se, but they are when you get into certain styles.

He said "fair enough"...!

I can understand his point, growing boobs is a significant biological event for transwomen but from my own experience (and others I've seen here) getting your ears pierced, if they aren't already, can be very significant for a whole range of reasons. I guess the two can't be compared but I'm not wrong suggesting getting your girly ear piercings is momentous, am I??  ;D

For me getting my ears pierced was the affirmation that I was going to transition. It caused me great angst. Just ask V M!! She held my hand through the whole mental fight.

Growing boobs? Piece of cake :laugh:

That's kind of how I saw it too. ;D

Getting my ears pierced was certainly significant for me.  It was my way of declaring to the world that I wasn't going to live a lie no more.  And I was a big cowardy custard because the first time I went to get them done I was too nervous and backed out.  The next day I went back though and after much encouragement from the shop staff I did finally get my ears pierced :D

I think part of it is the feelings and worries of starting off. The first time you go out in female clothing - that terror! Starting RLE - no I can't do that! Going to work as a 'guy' wearing nail polish. Facing up to going to laser or electro (will they laugh at me?).
Coming out to family, friends - no way can I do that!

And then you are on the trans train and no way will you be derailed.

Acceptance of your gender, acceptance of your sexuality all magically become - easy (?) well for some of us.

Now looking back, I cannot understand why I was so frightened!

Quote from: Cindy on September 07, 2015, 04:45:57 AM
Now looking back, I cannot understand why I was so frightened!

Looking back at my first go at transition I wonder the same thing. In fact getting my ears pierced then was one of the first things I did! Then when I decided to stop transition I took them out and let them close up. A signal of self defeat if ever there was one! :(

I need my ears pierced I want some pearls

I got my first ear pieced when I was 18 as a big middle finger to the world but the other ear was the significant one for me as it was the first thing I did for the similar reasons to Lady Smith. It was my turning point to say to myself I am not going back only forward...

When I started this whole thing I wasn't even sure I wanted boobs, or, more accurately I both wanted and didn't want them. (I knew that the cost to my marriage would be high.) Earrings? I have one ear pierced and have had for decades. It doesn't close up even when I go years without. Getting the other done is on my short list, but hiding my beard shadow is my big desire.

On the whole, earrings are not a big deal. In the area I live in plenty of males have two piercings. Boobs take a while, but boobs for the win.

I had my ears pierced as a kid and they closed up. I still haven't re pierced them

Funny this thread has brought back so many memories.

Big turning point? The day I went into a jewellery designer and commissioned my bracelet. I told them my journey and they changed my design slightly.

It is solid sliver, I paid a deposit and when I went to collect it the wife of the jeweller told me, Cindy, there is no charge, we want to give this bracelet to you, you shared your story and your soul. Please this is our gift.

First time I was accepted for being me.

Since then they redesigned my wife's engagement ring to fit me (the stone was given to me by a male lover many years ago, i thought making it her engagement ring would cure me!) and made my necklace on commission. I live an odd life!

 Earrings are VERY significant to me because that was my first expression of femininity at the tender age of 5 years old. They were cheap little hoop earrings and I begged mom to buy them for me. She said no that earrings were for girls and boys didn't wear earrings. I was crushed but I did leave the store with them anyways. Yes I know bad very bad.

Earrings were definitely a bigger deal for me I got 3 in each ear in one go once I was on ETS leave from the Army. Now they're kinda my thing at work, I try to wear different earrings everyday and I get various compliants through the day which makes me feel pretty good  ;D. Has far as boobs go I still feel like I have itty bitty titties, but my girlfriend seems to like playing with them.

I only started hormones a couple of months ago, so I don't have anything more than some serious man-boobs.  I imagine that when I start seeing some areolar development it will be quite a fulfilling feeling.

However, getting my ears pierced was a big, big step for me, perhaps the bravest thing I have done so far.  I was scared to death of negative comments, primarily at work. I got  one neutral comment, "Did you get you ears pierced?", one incredulous comment from my wife (I'm separated), which eventually led to me admitting to her that I am transgender, and one in-your-face comment, "What's up with the earrings?", that from a man at work.

He went on to say, "Usually when a guy shows up with pierced ears, it's either a mid-life crisis, or because of a woman."  I told him, yes, it was because of a woman.  I didn't mention that the woman in question was me.

Y'all are making me jealous! I wish there was a gender-affirming equivalent for guys. The closest thing I can think of is going to the drugstore and picking up men's body wash -- which, if I'm honest, I'd already been doing for years. It was still a weirdly big deal though, picking up the Old Spice for the first time after coming out to myself. I remember hovering in the isle holding the bottles to my chest as though the sales associate were waiting around the corner to snatch them out of my hands. :D

I don't think it's quite like the earring thing thought because it's just not permanent or even semi-permanent. Haircut in a barber shop, maybe? First binder/packer? I dunno.

Sounds like a nice experience, though. :)

Getting my ears pierced was a significant step, as like most of you girls, it was the first time I did.

I actually have 3 holes in each ear and these holes mark my transition. My first set were pierced when I embraced my feminine side, Now I started crossdressing regularly in full outfits, I also started exploring the idea I could be a woman.

My second set of holes, I had done when I started hormones, to show I am a woman now...

my 3rd set of holes, I had done after SRS, to show my journey is complete.

To celebrate my feminine side, also I got a small stud pierced into my nose and my navel pierced during my transition,  two very feminine piercings .

But growing breasts was also significant for me, I will never forgot how wonderful it felt when my saw my breast buds and even better the first time I filled a bra with my own breasts.

I would tend to agree the two are in separate categories. Getting your ears pierced would be huge step. Next to getting huge dove tattoos on your collarbones.

The breast growth thing is a natural event from coming of age (on hormones), earrings is more of something you do for yourself. Earrings are a way to frame your face and attract the gaze of passers-by to your facial features. I'd see that as a huge undertaking. Although ear piercing is more common for guys than it once was, it's still very much a feminine thing in many areas and circles.

@ Captains: The only thing I could think of as remotely gender affirming for a guy would be the tattoo. And even then, it's not for everyone.

Have to agree that pierced ears are symbolic of the acceptance of your true self. That said I still haven't crossed that line even though the desire is almost overwhelming at times. Why you might ask ? Probably still struggling with self acceptance to some degree and fear. Working hard on the self acceptance. The fear is that of the reaction of the few friends I have and the pure hell it would create on my job. My employer is super unaccepting of anything outside their definition of "normal". Need to work on the fear part because I think I'm fast approaching the "just do it" tipping point.

Shout out to captains. For my generation, guy's symbolic gestures of "I'm a man" usually involved growing sideburns, mustache, and beards or various combinations of the above.

I'm 46, and when I was younger even a single piercing was seen as rebellious. For people younger than myself it is just a fashion choice.

Getting my ears pierced was a HUGE step for me. I got my ears pierced the last day I ever wore male clothing, September 20, 2013. I had been fired from my job earlier in the day, and my boyfriend at the time suggested it as a little pick-me-up. It was a subtle symbol that I was passing through the gateway, never to turn back.

Omg...totally agree. On HRT 8 months. Boobs a small A. Getting ears pierced on my birthday in April and I cannot wait.  The boobs are great but i agree ears is somehow more significant...


Steph :)

  I was full-time for couple of months before I had my ears pierced, I had intended to do it  at as reward for reaching a weight loss goal. That's how it happened though, I was shopping at a mall with my  two youngest children when we walked by a store called Claire's one them grabbed my hand and said were here. This was the same store I had taken them to when they were younger to get their ears pierced. We went in and my piercings were a gift from them, so they mean a lot to me.  We continued shopping for a couple of hours and when we got in our our car to leave I looked at the shopping bag I had been carrying the rest of the day in the mall and emblazoned on it were the words " I just got my ears pierced at Claire's" we had a big laugh about that.
  Only started HRT couple of months ago I do have some breast growth, which does mean a lot to me as well its more of a personal thing , but the ear piercing was a shared experience that I will treasure.

I got my ears pierced about two months after coming out to my wife. I was just starting my transition, clothes, and hadn't started HRT, that came two weeks later. I  think that having my ears pierced was an important step for me3. I always wanted ear rings, so this was an easy first step for me. As far as breasts go, everything after age 60 seems to take longer to happen. I am over eight months on HRT and am very happy to finally seem some breast development, with all the sore nipples, aches and budding behind the nipple. I know that development is also dependent on a number of other factors, genetics, dosage, etc.

Having the bouncing girls get stared at while out in male mode I can handle. The thought of getting my ears pierced totally freaks me out.

Like you said, it took 2-3 years for me to get to a B cup. I always wore loose fitting clothes due to other body image issues. The girls are easily overlooked, especially here in Obese USA, the birthplace of moobs. Earings suddenly are there. When you get them you need to keep the starters in. PLENTY of explaining to do as most people will ask (I think. I believe. And my 50 shades of red will not help as I stutter out a lame answer and they then begin to have second thoughts about those mounds on my chest and......)

Yep, getting my ears pierced will be a major milestone.

As a child I wanted earrings very much but I wasn't brave enough so I only played with clip on earrings when I was home alone.

Getting earrings and having my ears pierced will be a significant moment for me because I'll only be able to do that if I'm sure I'll be able to handle living full-time.

I want white pearl ear rings to go with my black dress

Getting my ears pierced will be a significant step for me. I plan on doing it when I move out and have money for a decent pair of earrings. I plan on getting chamsa earrings.

I think it's a generational thing... If you were born after around the 80's, peircing (to me at least) seemed pretty normal for everyone certainly nothing exclusively "feminine" about it .. I had my ears at 14, , more ears, another in the nose, lips, etc etc...

When I was able to see that my chest had changed for good, that I was growing breasts at last, that my body was beginning to look right. That was a powerful personal moment. But in many ways it extended out from my decision to begin hrt. Also, it was very private. Just me and a mirror. Nobody else could even see them yet.

A few months later I finally got my ears pierced and it felt like a loud public proclamation. It happened in a mall on a busy Sunday in summer. Growing boobs was what made me forever not male. My ears being pierced was my public celebration of that.

When I used to look at my cis male friends back before. They all had an ear pierced. Every single straight man I knew had one or two. I knew I couldn't because it could tip the scales and set off a tidal wave. For me it was a symbol of the woman I wanted to show the world I was. When that moment came that I was out as a woman, the day was right, as was my mood, I had the money and the impulse hit me. I just followed the flow of my tide. Heck the piercer turned out to be a cute cis guy born just hours before me on the same day, month and year. I had never met a birthday twin. It seemed right. Those piercings made me feel free.

Breasts are a slowly developing part of my body, as marvelous as they may be. The pierced ears are a right of passage, and I waited just as long for them. It was a ritual that made me feel more publicly a woman.

I got my ears pierced 15 years before realizing I was transgender, lol, at the age of 18.  Of course I also pierced my tongue (twice), and I had an "Industrial" piercing in my right ear.  I took the Industrial out in exchange for my dad buying me a car, and the tongue piercings because, well, they sucked...

Hindsight being what it is, I got piercings and got into the goth lifestyle so I could present more feminine/andro, and then eventually supressed it all for another 13 years or so now...

My earrings were a symbol back then, and never closed up even after years of nothing in them.  I see the next set of piercings as being affirming though, another set or two of holes in my lobes for sure, maybe a ring in my cartilage, hehe.  All gender affirming.

Boobs though, that's something I can't remedy overnight and is evidence of the long road ahead of me of becoming a woman on the outside to match how I feel on the inside.  Until that day comes, I won't be getting anymore ear piercings though.  I'll just keep the two holes I've already (still) got.

I totally forgot about that bag. Getting my ears pierced was one of the first things I did and I was nervous as can be. I actually shared with the person why. All along there people outside the window to the store in the mall watching and not having a clue as to what going on.. Getting ears pierced was a huge mile stone, but probably the harder part to deny was the fact that like Stevie I was carring around the bag that said that I just gotten my ears pierece at Claire's.  As has been mentioned the breasts part really has the easy part. The getting my ears pierced was on early milestone that proudly showed everyone what was happening. Hugs
Mariah

Quote from: Stevie on September 07, 2015, 11:18:39 AM
  I was full-time for couple of months before I had my ears pierced, I had intended to do it  at as reward for reaching a weight loss goal. That's how it happened though, I was shopping at a mall with my  two youngest children when we walked by a store called Claire's one them grabbed my hand and said were here. This was the same store I had taken them to when they were younger to get their ears pierced. We went in and my piercings were a gift from them, so they mean a lot to me.  We continued shopping for a couple of hours and when we got in our our car to leave I looked at the shopping bag I had been carrying the rest of the day in the mall and emblazoned on it were the words " I just got my ears pierced at Claire's" we had a big laugh about that.
  Only started HRT couple of months ago I do have some breast growth, which does mean a lot to me as well its more of a personal thing , but the ear piercing was a shared experience that I will treasure.

Getting my ears pierced was no big deal.  I got my left ear pierced in 1983.  My ex-wife did it with a needle, a piece of ice and a paper towel.  Late last year or earlier this year (it was so moumential I don't even remember when I did it) I decided to pierce my right ear.  So I got out the ice a needle and a paper towel and I piericed it myself.  A couple months later I went to Claries and had a second piercing put into each ear.  I really didn't even have to think about getting them done.  I love them and love to make and wear many different earrings.

But watching my boobs develop and grow has made me feel much more female than earrings ever could.  I know the general belief is to wait at least a year on HRT before getting an augmentation, but after 6 months I was ready.  So last week while I was undergoing some FFS proceedures I had my BA done at the same time.  I absolutely love how they make me look and in a few months once my FFS and BA proceedures have settled I will be done with almost everything transition related except for living my life as a woman. 

So you can put me firmly in the boob camp.

I got my ears pierced right after turning 18, and internally it was a sort of celebration of embracing my femininity.  Now I'm 30 and I've spent literally years without any earrings in.  About a month ago I put in some CZ studs and I've been rockin' them every day ever since.

As for boobs, my recognition of needing them is kind of odd for me.  I swear I must have some sort of boob blindness because I don't actually register breast size unless it's glaringly obvious that they're either really large or really small.  It was only a couple weeks ago when I was taking some selfies in the mirror that it really struck me that I'm going to need to get some!  I certainly like the idea, I just haven't dwelled over it that much.  My mind has been much more occupied with thoughts about my thinning hair, my stocky frame, my height (6' 3"), and these blasted muscles that are like, "Don't you just love us!?  You don't even have to do anything and you're completely built like a tank!" Ugh, transgirl problems. :P

I agree that piercing your ears is definitely (even for me who grew up in the 80'/90' ) something strange. I don't know if I will do it as I have little interest in this - I'm not girly enough, those things wouldn't work with me I guess.  :angel:

Piercings are something like a ceremony. So it bears a greater meaning that it really has. Breasts, on the contrary... Are just my breasts. And that's all. :P They feel natural.

But my breasts are far more important to me than piercings. xD I could live without piercings, but without breasts it would be a pain.

Growing breasts is a hit or miss thing biologically. After nearly three years on hormones I was still just an A cup and while the upper and lower glandular structures were there, confirmed by a doctor's examination, they didn't seem to want to grow anymore. So I got a BA done and am now a happy C.

So for me "significant boobs" came like pierced ears - via a deliberate choice and suddenly. :)

Not everyone experiences this in the same way.

I had boobs before I had my ears pierced! Nowadays, even football players have both ears pierced so it's not that uncommon. Having said that, it was a huge deal for me to get mine done. Guys like Will Smith and David Beckham have both ears pierced.

MS Grace: It was simple for me, only problem was the type of earring i got from the start and wanting to replace them because they're not proportional to the size of my ears (even more reason to get them pinned to be honest), but buying breast forms were just as easy and just as cheap as earrings anyway (got ones what weren't that high quality but I've had them for almost a year now). So my advice is bet those two rather than get boob surgery what costs a tonne of money in the process (that's the case for me, so expensive here in Australia and so hard to find a female surgeon to do it for me).

Quote from: Cindy on September 07, 2015, 03:11:16 AM
For me getting my ears pierced was the affirmation that I was going to transition. It caused me great angst. Just ask V M!! She held my hand through the whole mental fight.

Growing boobs? Piece of cake :laugh:

LOL... Those were the days  ;D  We were both new to transitioning and nervous as cats but had each other to lean on and pluck up the courage to go out and get our ears done and then relate our individual experiences and results

As for boobs, that was and still is very important to me also  :icon_chick:  I mean what says girl more than a decent pair of girls? But that's all a rather long waiting game and no-one really knows what their individual booby prize will turn out to be

I tried all the variations of bra stuffings from socks to water balloons and made all kinds of goofy mistakes learning how to measure for a bra then eventually ended up with my current pair of C cups

In my opinion, both are important, just one might take longer than the other depending on the route you decide to go with

I happened to grow mine, but there is absolutely nothing wrong with getting a boob job

Earrings were definitely a huge step for me - actually made the decision to get them pierced as the very first step of my journey - it was a month later i started with a therapist and then it was off to the races - having been so conformist for so long there were a lot of looks of surprise especially from people at work but just stayed non-committal to their inquiries - they still don't know at work and i am just past 18 months HRT - the hair is past my shoulders but losing 80 lbs and wearing lots of baggy clothing keeps up the illusion - retirement and full time loom on the horizon next year

be well
jenifer

I wish I could do something Thule that. It terrifies me. It would make me feel soooo visible and I'm someone who has always flown way under the radar. I looked at your profile picture and you're lovely by the way!


Dori.