Susan's Place Transgender Resources

Just kind of a random thought, but sometimes kind of looking at things from a distance, its a little scary just how natural it feels to be in girl mode. Sometimes I've dismissed at as a phase or sexual thing (it was kind of sensual with somethings like a year ago, but that has pretty much worn away), but the scary thing is that feels so natural and isn't really sexual. If someone would have asked me to wear a dress 5 years ago, I probably would have laughed and thought it would be joke (although at this point in my life I had been wearing women's underwear in private and shaving body hair on occasion for about 2 years). Despite wearing a skirt and tights, I felt completely natural and not awkward or silly when I met a friend who hadn't seen me since before the transition. I think its probably pretty obvious that I'm trans, but still, it can be a little scary sometimes when you realize that you really are trans. In a little over a month, it will be one year from when I took some of the first steps to transition.

I know, right?

When I realized that "girl mode" was virtually effortless, while "guy mode" was a production that actually required a great deal of effort, it was all over for me.

I wish voice and mannerisms were also effortless, but as a whole, going en femme feels natural, like I can get some sense of peace.

Lots of practice I'm afraid in regards to those. MY voice is still improving and I have been full time over 14 months now. Amazing the peace you get from it. It's why like with Jill once I realized that there was no looking back. Things take time. Other things will become effortless in time. Hugs
Mariah

It's one of those things I did not expect before I started to transition.  It is so effortless now.  It made me realize how much effort I poured into appearing male, and the large walls I built up around myself.  It was a lot of work maintaining those walls.

It becomes even more natural as time goes on. At least until I found this website I would go weeks and months without thinking about my past. Yes I use skills out of my past but I don't associate my maleness with the skill, it's just something I have alway been able to do. The voice became so locked in that I could no longer use my male voce without a great deal of effort to override the natural reflexes. In my transition after I had been using my new voice for over a year, a friend of mine showed me Blazing Saddles for the first time. I just about split my side laughing but after the movie, she was a bit surprise and remarked that I hadn't used my male voice to laugh the entire movie. It takes a little time but it all becomes natural.

It does feel scary at times. For me my transition went pretty easy and my mannerisms came so naturally. My voice took a little work, but not that bad. My mother was so shocked how feminine my mannerisms were after she saw me being full time the last time I visited her in Florida. She used to worry for my safety as being a seen as a 6'7" gay man in a dress. But when I visited her just after spending 30 minutes with me she told me that she didn't worry anymore since my mannerism just seem so natural. And that's exactly how they feel to me. It was an effort to fake being male, being feminine was effortless in the mannerism department.

Funny thing rachel89, I had the same thought a few days back.

For me being female is so natural, it was hard to make the mannerisms a habit, but I adapted very quickly, after a few weeks it was second nature.

I glide in heels, even run in them., (The heels was easiest thing for me, my cis-female roommate explained the walking technique to me, and within an hour I was walking heels like I have done it all my life) I can even walk in 6inch heels.

My makeup skills are on par with a woman of my age. remembering to sit like a lady was a chore in the beginning. Even in sex the traditional submissive female role is natural for me.

My roomMate says she cant believe that I was ever a guy, she says I am so girly.

I think most girls like us are sometimes at a disadvantage when we begin our transitions, as cis-girls learn how to be ladies in their teens, they learn makeup etc.. Me i went full time at the age of 21 (I am 26 Now) and I had to learn a lot of things girls learn in their teens.

I do wish I could have been a teenage girl.. but I am caught up now

That was something that suddenly dawned on me back when I was 24 and 'transitioned'. I had lived part of my teens 'in girl mode' but was  never totally at ease because (of course) I was hiding a secret. In 'boy mode' I never really passed as a  guy so it was just a straight disaster. After transition all I had to do was relax and let everything flow naturally and it came out 100% girl. It didn't matter what I wore or what I was doing, it was just pure girl and I turned out to be a whole lot MORE as a person than I ever suspected.

Having girlfriends willing to help with mannerisms is a godsend. Every now and again I wish I had a TG Life Coach of sorts. My drag mom is the next best thing for mannerisms. She's awesome at catching me when I slip up.

Ha, I had some of the same thoughts.

Mannerisms are natural to me. I never really had to practice.

Voice, obviously, I've had a little help there. However, with this out of the way, you would not believe how effortless it has become to just step outside and be me. It's almost TOO easy now.

Now, "girl mode" is the default. Dressing up like a guy feels like cross dressing. I tried it once, blech.

There is still some uneasiness because my name change is not effective and I therefore am outed when I get carded, but it hasn't really been an issue. In fact guys behind the register like to chat me up sometimes, lol.

Yesterday I had a laser appointment for my décolleté (my third and my therapist was amazed how little hair growth I had from 6 weeks between the last appointment) and a follow up treatment on my upper lip and chin (my 9th laser treatment , just picking up a few black hairs).  Anyway there I was at the counter waiting to pay the receptionist and I was dressed in red sleeveless top (quite low cut), a long grey cardigan,  black skin tight jeans, kitten heels, black handbag and the only makeup I had on was a bright red lipstick and nail varnish (med pink colour).

Standing next to me was a young woman , about late 20's - no more than about 25 cms from my face paying her bill. She had just had her eyebrows done and they looked great and I told her so. I then commented that i really needed to get my arms done - I then pulled up my cardigan sleeves to show the vellus hair on my arms - she immediately said Darling I am much worse than you , showing me hers, but then she said I am Italian and of course we all have a bit too much hair on our arms. At that point my therapist asked if I wanted to have my arms and under arms done here and then (which I said of course yes).  What amazed me was there was not one slightest hint of recognition or suspicion by the woman standing next to me. Of course my therapist knows. Of course nearly 3 years of HRT plus no Adams Apple and nearly 44C breasts have helped a lot at passing.
Judith

Quote from: rachel89 on September 14, 2015, 11:08:22 PM
Just kind of a random thought, but sometimes kind of looking at things from a distance, its a little scary just how natural it feels to be in girl mode. Sometimes I've dismissed at as a phase or sexual thing (it was kind of sensual with somethings like a year ago, but that has pretty much worn away), but the scary thing is that feels so natural and isn't really sexual. If someone would have asked me to wear a dress 5 years ago, I probably would have laughed and thought it would be joke (although at this point in my life I had been wearing women's underwear in private and shaving body hair on occasion for about 2 years). Despite wearing a skirt and tights, I felt completely natural and not awkward or silly when I met a friend who hadn't seen me since before the transition. I think its probably pretty obvious that I'm trans, but still, it can be a little scary sometimes when you realize that you really are trans. In a little over a month, it will be one year from when I took some of the first steps to transition.

Back in my early 20's when I twice experimented with transitioning I was never able to shake the "Some Guy in a Dress" feeling. I must have exuded it since I was not all that well received out there in the real world. So on to Plan B, try to be a normal(ish) guy

About 5 years ago after much anguish I managed to drag Joanne back out into the light of day. By the time I headed back to home I knew for sure that 'Transition', whatever that may be for me, was no longer something completely off the table after experiencing the shear joy of being out in the real world as the real me.

Boy was I ever scared at that revelation  :o

Tooootally hear you!

The amazing think is I can put on a bra and panties in the morning after a nice shower without even as much as a second thought.

It truly was scary natural for me. My wife still says things like ..".omg you are such a girl " and i laugh at that because acting like a guy feels so strange now. The routing of dress, makeup, using the restroom and all of that i do without thinking.