Susan's Place Transgender Resources

X-Posted from other thread to get various responses.


Do you think that with FFS I could blend/pass enough to be perceived as female most of the time without trying?  I've been on HRT for 3 years now and the head shots posted below are from late last year.  I can't make long hair work for me because my face is just too damn big and bulky and shaped like a brick and it still makes me look distinctly male.  I had a FFS consult with Spiegel expressing all these concerns, and when he saw me he seemed to be very confidently optimistic about my outcome, which, looking back on it I think it a load of horse <not allowed> and sugar coating, but many people have told me he doesn't need the work and he's honest as a surgeon. (for once)  Dunno what to believe there.


(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi.imgur.com%2FAESLOgXl.jpg&hash=ecaa2fcb8f6d77e7a114d67c3080a9a85186670e)

(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi.imgur.com%2FcjyvC8bl.jpg&hash=b3bf4850e04ccaa3e18b358f41b699d8e058f8d2)

(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi.imgur.com%2Fm1CpzIwl.jpg&hash=dbb91a7db3209fe584817e18b6398f266713b5a1)

Full body pics from the other night too, for comparison.  I wear my hair shorter because it works a little bit better.  My head and face shape have not changed though, rest assured and not only does it completely impede me from passing, but it gives me a great amount of internal day to day dysphoria about my own self perception too.  As you can see from the recent pictures, I think my body is basically good enough to work with.  The bulkiness/masculine shape and size of my face is the biggest issue.  I know head size can't be changed,(and I've heard of enough cis and passing trans women with my sized head or bigger) but if I can get my face shape/size to look within female ranges and look normal enough to not look overtly masculine, I'd be happy.  I seriously doubt this is possible, to be honest, just because my head and face are just so damned big. (and seeing FFS results)  But I'd like to be surprised.


(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi.imgur.com%2FuGsx1WLl.jpg&hash=7095d36c255faec76f9029013203b593462d448d)

(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi.imgur.com%2Fqd60Ir3l.jpg&hash=f56733ed40037268495432c32d65cfa11e5d9589)

(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi.imgur.com%2FdBXpHqKl.jpg&hash=1d048449062ca95cabe8b8830879adf6ae09a9c1)


I understand I look cis in those last two photos.  I don't disagree, but if angled right I can pass in controlled photos just fine.  Very different in real life.

Mod Edit- Last two photos removed to due image policy Photos in underwear are not allowed. Please watch profanity TOS 1

I'd say you're almost there...
you might use bangs to cover the forehead and brow area...
here were a few more hints:
https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,192386.msg1723167.html#msg1723167

there are websites where its possible to upload a photo and virtually try some hairstyles...
in the beginning some clipins might do...

and you might trim the brows a bit, from below, and maybe have them a bit shorter...
there are tutorials which show how long brows may be, with kind of a ruler from the nosetip to the edge of the eye... and finally meeting the eyebrow...
you might trim them carefully and have a look at the results often...
or better have them trimmed by a professional..

I think you may already be there. Short hair is you style but you want a little more on the side if possible. Look up a page boy hair cut and that will show you the idea. Pulling the hair off to the side works for you but you need to find a cut with a bit more on the sides. I have the same problem as you do but I am tired of perms and am trying to find a cut that does exactly the same thing.

I think you haven't seen the female in you yet but you will be the last one to see it. I see a face that will pass without FFS. On top of that, the pictures are small but it looks attractive.

Yeah my brows looked a million times better before, I just haven't taken care of them in a while.  My own fault.  They did help a ton though.

In terms of bangs, I do wear bangs!  You can see that in my full body photos.  It helps a bit, but I still have massive head/face dysphoria.  Here's a better recent picture to show the use of bangz:

(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi.imgur.com%2FqAkxEDll.jpg&hash=f805b3b510b9fb9f7b509d3ea174b1ab24dcd8e5)

You don't even need FFS. You already pass. If I was going to change anything at all I might change your nose profile a bit but that's purely for aesthetics and has nothing to do with passing or looking female.

Quote from: Dena on September 15, 2015, 04:33:10 PM
I think you may already be there. Short hair is you style but you want a little more on the side if possible. Look up a page boy hair cut and that will show you the idea. Pulling the hair off to the side works for you but you need to find a cut with a bit more on the sides. I have the same problem as you do but I am tired of perms and am trying to find a cut that does exactly the same thing.

I think you haven't seen the female in you yet but you will be the last one to see it. I see a face that will pass without FFS. On top of that, the pictures are small but it looks attractive.

I mean...I have been correctly read before.  Maybe a couple dozen times during these past 3 years.  But it's really rare.  When I look at my hair pulled back photos at the top, I just see a guy.  I don't wanna see that at all, which is the push for FFS.  I know my face will never be 100% female or perfect and that's ok...but just enough for most people to see female is enough for me.  Right now it is not like that at all.  Even from behind I'm gendered male 99% of the time.  Makes me feel there might not be much hope. (I've only ever been correctly gendered from behind twice)

My head shape really bugs me and is the most masculine jarring thing on my body.  Whenever I see my silhouette shadow on the sidewalk or whatever my body looks alright but my head shape always looks so wrong and male.

 

QuoteIn terms of bangs, I do wear bangs!

Yes... if possible curly bangs, not a straight cut line... the waves make it look more feminine...

Two more things that people associate with women are:
you could use a nourishing product for your face. This could give you a groomed look.
Some use plant oil based like jojoba (unless allergic) . It might give a shiny and even look.

here is a vid showing how to make lips look bigger:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OyKFS693dsQ

Its possible to do this with two lipsticks in unobtrusive colours.
A few minutes and its done... I'd recommend organic, two lipstick and a pencil.

Gendered from the back means a different approach. Wear lose fitting blouses and pants/skirts. Shoulders are the killer for most of us and that means sleeves and lose fitting. You also need the attitude when dealing with people that you are comfortable with your self because they will pick up on the least little doubt.

Quote from: Dena on September 15, 2015, 04:49:52 PM
Gendered from the back means a different approach. Wear lose fitting blouses and pants/skirts. Shoulders are the killer for most of us and that means sleeves and lose fitting. You also need the attitude when dealing with people that you are comfortable with your self because they will pick up on the least little doubt.

I guess it's not quite as important but, eh, whatever.  I have been correctly read from all angles before from strangers (even if it was very brief instances...the longest ones maybe being 15-20 mins and thats only been a few times) just not the majority of the time, and only at my old job with customers.

 

QuoteI can't make long hair work for me because my face is just too damn big and bulky and shaped like a brick and it still makes me look distinctly male. 

Well you might grow your hair out... if you have long hair from behind, its usually a better sign...
and also better for the sides imo...
and concerning the front, curly bangs might be a plus imo... giving it a wavy frame, not an even line...

In addition to the suggestions here, I have one other comment: If you don't think you 'pass', you never will, regardless of how you look - people will pick up on the self-doubt.

Yes you pass and I bet HRT will super improve your face. You nose is very female so no worries on it. Your forhead has a little brow bossing but hair can hide it. Hair wise Im jealous of how sharp it looks on you.

The only sugestions I have are wear more eye make up and wear a waist cincher for better figure.

Go to Korea...

Get V jaw surgery
Cheekbone reduction
Nose job


Youll have the most feminine caucasian face in the room....

You pass though right now

Sent from my SHV-E220S using Tapatalk

Well its a lot of text.... and people are trying to be helpful...


hugs

 :police:
Okay folks here is the deal. When you people try to assist you please be understanding of that. You don't have to take the advice they give. Secondly, when it comes to anything related to transition realistic exceptions are must. Surgeons, HRT, and other items we use can only do so much. Please be understanding of those facts. Thread is staying locked since it has run it's course. Please keep the following in mind along with TOS 11, 12 and the image policy.

15. Items under discussion shall be confined to the subject matter at hand. Members shall avoid taking the other users posts personally, and/or posting anything that can reasonably be construed as a personal attack.