Community Conversation => Transsexual talk => Male to female transsexual talk (MTF) => Topic started by: Stephbutterfly on September 29, 2015, 09:38:24 AM Return to Full Version
Title: Coming out to old friends
Post by: Stephbutterfly on September 29, 2015, 09:38:24 AM
Post by: Stephbutterfly on September 29, 2015, 09:38:24 AM
hi girls! Came out to my wife 15 months ago, been on HRT for 7 months, and I'm at the point that I want to start to telling my best friends (who already know something is up...). I am conflicted if I need to do this in person or over the phone, whether writing a letter is best first, or what the thoughts were of those who have been through this are. I am looking for ideas that would have the most positive impact on keeping the relationship intact.
Thanks much!
Steph :)
Thanks much!
Steph :)
Title: Re: Coming out to old friends
Post by: cheryl reeves on September 29, 2015, 10:06:12 AM
Post by: cheryl reeves on September 29, 2015, 10:06:12 AM
My opinion is do it in person so you can answer questions.
Title: Re: Coming out to old friends
Post by: Rachel on September 29, 2015, 08:14:41 PM
Post by: Rachel on September 29, 2015, 08:14:41 PM
In person. it may be a very special moment where answering a question or explaining what is to be expected can help them understand and welcome you.
Title: Re: Coming out to old friends
Post by: Jessica Merriman on September 29, 2015, 11:49:25 PM
Post by: Jessica Merriman on September 29, 2015, 11:49:25 PM
I did it in person with very close family and friends. Then I posted on my male FB page what was happening and that they were all invited to my new one as the old one would be shut down. Went from 17 friends to over 300 in 24 hours. Some I had not seen in 30 years or more. Worked great! :)
Title: Re: Coming out to old friends
Post by: Stephbutterfly on October 12, 2015, 08:44:38 PM
Post by: Stephbutterfly on October 12, 2015, 08:44:38 PM
Thanks guys. Love the facebook idea!
Steph :)
Steph :)
Title: Re: Coming out to old friends
Post by: Frae on October 13, 2015, 12:17:52 AM
Post by: Frae on October 13, 2015, 12:17:52 AM
Went with a similar tactic. Just changed my facebook details and made a message telling anyone who had a problem with it to unfriend me.
No one un-friended me.
Though this could be more of a problem if not looking to come out EVERYWHERE and good friends probably deserve something a bit more personal. (for me I only had old friends / acquaintances left)
No one un-friended me.
Though this could be more of a problem if not looking to come out EVERYWHERE and good friends probably deserve something a bit more personal. (for me I only had old friends / acquaintances left)
Title: Re: Coming out to old friends
Post by: jennyfk on October 13, 2015, 05:21:15 AM
Post by: jennyfk on October 13, 2015, 05:21:15 AM
Eep! Great thread very interested to hear the responses as I have all this to "look forward" to.
My gut tells me to wimp out and use whatsapp and other social media rather than be face to face.
My gf told me to Skype my mom in a dress but she's obviously cray cray!
X
Jennifer
My gut tells me to wimp out and use whatsapp and other social media rather than be face to face.
My gf told me to Skype my mom in a dress but she's obviously cray cray!
X
Jennifer
Title: Re: Coming out to old friends
Post by: AlexisRene on October 14, 2015, 08:43:20 AM
Post by: AlexisRene on October 14, 2015, 08:43:20 AM
Quote from: jennyfk on October 13, 2015, 05:21:15 AM
Eep! Great thread very interested to hear the responses as I have all this to "look forward" to.
My gut tells me to wimp out and use whatsapp and other social media rather than be face to face.
My gf told me to Skype my mom in a dress but she's obviously cray cray!
X
Jennifer
Every situation is unique pending known parameters of a relationship & personalities.
I told my Mom in person in my home where I had access to photos &/or references. It went over very well, she responded with "I love you no matter what". While that sounds great, do not expect their language to change for you 100%. There will still be times when wrong pro nouns or improper requests will come along. One example I can cite is "will you be a pallbearer for your uncle?" Had not legally changed my name, so in her mind that was fair game.
She would go from saying something like look at those veins or muscles in your arms when helping her around her home to quietly passing off a make up related xmas gift. My point is, it is confusing for them too & have found patience to be key. Would have to think the quicker one can expedite transition(if that is the goal) is desirable with regard to others perception.
Wish you the best & good luck.
Title: Re: Coming out to old friends
Post by: Oliviah on October 14, 2015, 08:58:04 AM
Post by: Oliviah on October 14, 2015, 08:58:04 AM
Told close friends in person. I changed facebook and didn't create a new one. Didn't make an announcement just did it. People have mostly been nice.
Title: Re: Coming out to old friends
Post by: Lili on October 14, 2015, 10:50:25 AM
Post by: Lili on October 14, 2015, 10:50:25 AM
Wow. If i did the facebook idea, my mom will kill herself.
I am only 5 hays into HRT and kept it to myself.
I am only 5 hays into HRT and kept it to myself.
Title: Re: Coming out to old friends
Post by: Oliviah on October 14, 2015, 11:50:32 AM
Post by: Oliviah on October 14, 2015, 11:50:32 AM
Quote from: Lili on October 14, 2015, 10:50:25 AM
Wow. If i did the facebook idea, my mom will kill herself.
I am only 5 hays into HRT and kept it to myself.
She will figure it out eventually. HRT is no joke. Things change. How long to you plan to take HRT before you transition?
Title: Re: Coming out to old friends
Post by: Lili on October 14, 2015, 12:39:52 PM
Post by: Lili on October 14, 2015, 12:39:52 PM
Quote from: Oliviah on October 14, 2015, 11:50:32 AM
She will figure it out eventually. HRT is no joke. Things change. How long to you plan to take HRT before you transition?
No plan on srs yet. Visiting my psyc 2mths later to review abt it.
Title: Re: Coming out to old friends
Post by: Oliviah on October 14, 2015, 12:46:25 PM
Post by: Oliviah on October 14, 2015, 12:46:25 PM
Quote from: Lili on October 14, 2015, 12:39:52 PM
No plan on srs yet. Visiting my psyc 2mths later to review abt it.
Are you living full time as female? That is what I meant by transition.
Title: Re: Coming out to old friends
Post by: awilliams1701 on October 14, 2015, 01:48:34 PM
Post by: awilliams1701 on October 14, 2015, 01:48:34 PM
I told my parents and open minded sister on skype. Not quite in person, but far more practical. My parents live 5 hours away my sister lives in California. I told my two less understanding sisters over the phone. I told almost everyone else either on facebook or in person (more specifically at my job)