Susan's Place Transgender Resources

so i have now come out to my grandma and my mom and i have a therapist i will eventually see which is great but i just wish i could leave my doubt behind .every time i think about transitioning to a girl i get a big smile on my face and lately i am often visualizing my self as a girl .but even after all that i still have part of me aka my doubt that stands in my way .that part of me tells me its a phase or that im only doing it for attention i try to suppress that kind of thinking but every step i take it just comes back .i hate it it puts me in a bad mood and gets my stomach all tied up it makes me confused .does it go away or is it true idk

Quote from: preston j sannicolas on September 29, 2015, 02:43:33 PM
i hate it it puts me in a bad mood and gets my stomach all tied up it makes me confused .does it go away or is it true idk

The more I went out dressed as a woman, the more sure I got. After about six months full time my therapist asked me if I ever thought of going back. I answered truthfully, not for a fraction of a second.

I'm on my 23 month of HRT and the doubt has ceased to exist. It was a struggle at first, the first year was a lot of doubt , but it constantly decreases .

The last time I had doubt was while I was still in RLE. Post surgically I have never had doubt or regret. You will need to put the work in while you are in therapy but many people feel much the same way I do after surgery.

Jus be really honest with yourself. Is it doubt? Or is it fear? Both are natural.

Yes with time and experience. Took me around 8 months into RLE. Now I am just me without any doubts at all. :)

Yes, doubt does go away as you are able to work through the fear and accept who you are.

I still had some doubts even after I went full time, but a year of RLE has proven beyond the shadow of a doubt who I am to me. The fear and doubt are gone.

Fear and doubt are normal - we all experience it.

Everyone of us has had doubts at one time or another.  There is no universial time table for how long it lasts.  For me I really haven't had much doubt since I came to the full realization I was transgender.  Once I started HRT in March I knew for sure and I haven't looked back for even a second.  It probably helps that I really haven't had much by way of negative experiences and my hormone levels have very quickly settled into the female range for everything. But has others have said it took longer for them. 

The only thing to do is try it out to see how it affects you.  My therapist said that we would know for sure if I was trasngender once I started HRT.  She said that non-transgender individuals who undergo HRT get depressed.  I was anything but depresed once I started.  It really is an individual journey that affects everyone a little differently.  Talk with your therapist and then you can begin to make other decisions.

I still have doubts at times. It gets easier to manage them after living full time and getting some of the acceptance I needed. As well as days like today when I had a date with a cute guy, it makes up for all the bad I've been through.
I also had a full-blown panic attack when I finally got around to coming out on my Facebook to the friends I haven't seen in a while and live far enough away that I can't exactly tell them in person. I asked one of my best friends to talk me down and get it over with, and she helped remind me all the reasons why I chose Bookface as the medium for fully coming out. And all those other reasons I couldn't help but doubt in the moment were it not for her agreement.
The piece of me that tells me I've just gone and destroyed my life is still there, but it doesn't rule me like it used to. Not having to compartmentalize is worth the risks, and my social circle will grow despite those who may judge me.


     Hugs,
- Katie
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Quote from: preston j sannicolas on September 29, 2015, 02:43:33 PM
so i have now come out to my grandma and my mom and i have a therapist i will eventually see which is great but i just wish i could leave my doubt behind .every time i think about transitioning to a girl i get a big smile on my face and lately i am often visualizing my self as a girl .but even after all that i still have part of me aka my doubt that stands in my way .that part of me tells me its a phase or that im only doing it for attention i try to suppress that kind of thinking but every step i take it just comes back .i hate it it puts me in a bad mood and gets my stomach all tied up it makes me confused .does it go away or is it true idk

The doubt doesn't go away, it's the questions that changed for me. In the beginning, looking at where I was, I could only 'imagine' how I would turn out. It was just imagination. There was also some fear, would I be throwing my life away or making my life worse? So I transitioned and realized my doubts were unfounded. Afterwards I have to admit I have thought, what would my life be like if I had never done this? Would I be a happy person or not? I still have to stop and remind myself, even after 15 years, that my life had dropped to the point that doing nothing about my gender problem was worse than doing anything at all. I was miserable and keeping myself miserable doesn't seem like much of a life.