General Discussions => General discussions => ARGHHH! => Topic started by: FreyasRedemption on September 30, 2015, 05:54:31 AM Return to Full Version
Title: I just have to vent it all out
Post by: FreyasRedemption on September 30, 2015, 05:54:31 AM
Post by: FreyasRedemption on September 30, 2015, 05:54:31 AM
Let's see here. My social life doesn't exist any longer. My studies are going nowhere. I've been thinking about suicide every day during the last two weeks. I spend my days either sitting on the computer or being miserable at school.
My family has stopped feeling like a family. My father doesn't understand anything, while my mother makes me feel even worse if I tell her about my worries. My dogs, whom I always loved before, are now little more than an annoyance. I've got exactly zero friends, or even anyone I actually care about.
Religion-wise, I realized that the gods don't care about us.
It's test week, and I can't focus on studying. I have two projects, which I can barely even start doing.
I feel so angry, and sad, all the time. I literally have to cry myself to sleep every night.
Worst of all, I've been this way for a long, long time. I've just drowned my sorrows in fiction, by reading or playing video games and watching movies, when I felt bad before. Now, it's not working any longer.
I would like to continue believing in the words "There is a better tomorrow". But I have no idea how to reach that better tomorrow. And I can't just wait it out.
My family has stopped feeling like a family. My father doesn't understand anything, while my mother makes me feel even worse if I tell her about my worries. My dogs, whom I always loved before, are now little more than an annoyance. I've got exactly zero friends, or even anyone I actually care about.
Religion-wise, I realized that the gods don't care about us.
It's test week, and I can't focus on studying. I have two projects, which I can barely even start doing.
I feel so angry, and sad, all the time. I literally have to cry myself to sleep every night.
Worst of all, I've been this way for a long, long time. I've just drowned my sorrows in fiction, by reading or playing video games and watching movies, when I felt bad before. Now, it's not working any longer.
I would like to continue believing in the words "There is a better tomorrow". But I have no idea how to reach that better tomorrow. And I can't just wait it out.
Title: Re: I just have to vent it all out
Post by: Allison Wunderland on October 02, 2015, 01:17:04 PM
Post by: Allison Wunderland on October 02, 2015, 01:17:04 PM
Student Health Services -- tell them you're depressed/suicidal. You are depressed. You are suicidal.
Exercise can help. It helps to socially engage. You need to talk with someone. Student Health Services can help you with how you're feeling. You need to get some medical support. Don't be shy about asking --
Also, don't be shy about asserting to medical support that you're gender whatever. It's not something they don't have experience dealing with.
But mostly you're stressed, over-loaded w/ school, anxious about relationships/family, and depressed.
Student Health Services, NOW --
This is an EMERGENCY
Exercise can help. It helps to socially engage. You need to talk with someone. Student Health Services can help you with how you're feeling. You need to get some medical support. Don't be shy about asking --
Also, don't be shy about asserting to medical support that you're gender whatever. It's not something they don't have experience dealing with.
But mostly you're stressed, over-loaded w/ school, anxious about relationships/family, and depressed.
Student Health Services, NOW --
This is an EMERGENCY
Title: Re: I just have to vent it all out
Post by: FreyasRedemption on October 03, 2015, 02:22:43 PM
Post by: FreyasRedemption on October 03, 2015, 02:22:43 PM
Just have to do an update: I'm a slight bit better now, and I'm seeking help from there. Haven't thought about suicide in three days, or even been particularly sad or frustrated. Tests....dealt with to the best of my ability, which isn't saying much. Projects.....one I somehow managed to pull off, and the other one has a far more flexible deadline than I thought.
Listening to music has helped a lot. I also bought some new books in case I need a distraction. I still know that this state is probably just temporary, but I'm getting that help.
Listening to music has helped a lot. I also bought some new books in case I need a distraction. I still know that this state is probably just temporary, but I'm getting that help.
Title: Re: I just have to vent it all out
Post by: Allison Wunderland on October 03, 2015, 02:32:02 PM
Post by: Allison Wunderland on October 03, 2015, 02:32:02 PM
We've been here, done this -- A LOT ! ! !
67 years dealing has taught me that mood swings are like the weather. Hang in, it will stop raining sooner or later!
When I get unbalanced, I find it essential that I have an objective contact (Health Services) who can objectively, rationally, and clinically evaluate what's going on with me. There have been days when I was able to seek help, but not able to realize that I needed to seek help.
"The up side of Alzheimer's is that you don't realize it's happening to you!"
Sort of the same thing with depression/anxiety/suicidal thought. A very sneaky bastard who does not have your best interests at heart.
Learn to get comfortable with seeking help. It's out there. Help is out there, and it's FOR US. Don't be bashful about seeking support.
"Ohhhhhhhhhhhh, I'll be fine . . . Don't worry about me!"
-- BALDERDASH ! ! !
Support is available.
67 years dealing has taught me that mood swings are like the weather. Hang in, it will stop raining sooner or later!
When I get unbalanced, I find it essential that I have an objective contact (Health Services) who can objectively, rationally, and clinically evaluate what's going on with me. There have been days when I was able to seek help, but not able to realize that I needed to seek help.
"The up side of Alzheimer's is that you don't realize it's happening to you!"
Sort of the same thing with depression/anxiety/suicidal thought. A very sneaky bastard who does not have your best interests at heart.
Learn to get comfortable with seeking help. It's out there. Help is out there, and it's FOR US. Don't be bashful about seeking support.
"Ohhhhhhhhhhhh, I'll be fine . . . Don't worry about me!"
-- BALDERDASH ! ! !
Support is available.
Title: Re: I just have to vent it all out
Post by: Dena on October 03, 2015, 03:35:28 PM
Post by: Dena on October 03, 2015, 03:35:28 PM
As long as you are making progress in treatment it will help check the depression. The worst times are when you can't do anything to move forward. I was pretty much stuck not being able to move until about age 27 when I found the help I needed. Distractions do help and computer programming worked sometimes for me. Just keep busy and avoid the time when you mind can wander because that will be the worst time. Good luck and keep us posted.
Title: Re: I just have to vent it all out
Post by: Aazhie on October 12, 2015, 04:20:26 AM
Post by: Aazhie on October 12, 2015, 04:20:26 AM
I hope you can manage yourself or take yourself to someone who can help. My roommate has pretty intense but sporadic depression. She took some prescription for awhile and then gave it up. I kind of feel like she ought to do some cognitive behavioral therapy in order to build some better habits, but it is her life. For now I think she is okay. I just worry intensely that she will do another bad depression and not do anything about it.
Ugh, this stuff sucks. I'm sorry. Take care of everything you can, but especially yourself! Please talk to someone if it gets really bad again :C
Ugh, this stuff sucks. I'm sorry. Take care of everything you can, but especially yourself! Please talk to someone if it gets really bad again :C