General Discussions => General discussions => ARGHHH! => Topic started by: ajthomas on September 30, 2015, 07:38:20 AM Return to Full Version
Title: These feelings need to go.
Post by: ajthomas on September 30, 2015, 07:38:20 AM
Post by: ajthomas on September 30, 2015, 07:38:20 AM
I have recently been dumped by my 2 year girlfriend.
The things that she said out of anger were beyond hurtful. If it was anyone else, I would've been okay with them walking out, but for the last 2 years I have put my whole into this relationship and into that person.
I know that it's just these initial feelings of not being ever good enough for anyone, but I'm not used to feeling like this (First love). I would've kissed the ground that she walked on, and I guess that is my fault for putting someone up so high. The worst part is, that it was my fault. :embarrassed:
The things that she said out of anger were beyond hurtful. If it was anyone else, I would've been okay with them walking out, but for the last 2 years I have put my whole into this relationship and into that person.
I know that it's just these initial feelings of not being ever good enough for anyone, but I'm not used to feeling like this (First love). I would've kissed the ground that she walked on, and I guess that is my fault for putting someone up so high. The worst part is, that it was my fault. :embarrassed:
Title: Re: These feelings need to go.
Post by: suzifrommd on September 30, 2015, 12:02:36 PM
Post by: suzifrommd on September 30, 2015, 12:02:36 PM
Hugs, A.J. Two years is a long time.
I wish she had not made your last moments together so hurtful. You don't deserve it.
I wish she had not made your last moments together so hurtful. You don't deserve it.
Title: Re: These feelings need to go.
Post by: Allison Wunderland on October 02, 2015, 01:06:58 PM
Post by: Allison Wunderland on October 02, 2015, 01:06:58 PM
"It's complicated" --
This is the relationship status I post on my FaceBite page . . . I'm cis-M, attracted to cis-F. That's seemingly straight-forward, except that I'm not "straight" -- Gender orientation is F. Relationships are pretty much some adaptation of "female / female."
Some cis-F find all this somewhat "liberating" -- that I'm "in touch w/ my feminine side" . . . But it's more complicated than that. It's not about "being in touch." It's about being, about who I am.
In 1980, I had a GF who was fine w/ the cross dressing, would buy me stuff. But then now and again she'd come up with, "I'm tired of the same, invariable fantasy all the time. You're never anything but female when we're [together] . . . and sometimes I want straight sex "
Earth to Trudy . . . I'm female when we're not together. It's part of my being "together" for myself.
Non-normative gender relationships are complicated.
Wishing I could offer magic words that would make it all better for you. Time helps. "To thine own self be true."
This is the relationship status I post on my FaceBite page . . . I'm cis-M, attracted to cis-F. That's seemingly straight-forward, except that I'm not "straight" -- Gender orientation is F. Relationships are pretty much some adaptation of "female / female."
Some cis-F find all this somewhat "liberating" -- that I'm "in touch w/ my feminine side" . . . But it's more complicated than that. It's not about "being in touch." It's about being, about who I am.
In 1980, I had a GF who was fine w/ the cross dressing, would buy me stuff. But then now and again she'd come up with, "I'm tired of the same, invariable fantasy all the time. You're never anything but female when we're [together] . . . and sometimes I want straight sex "
Earth to Trudy . . . I'm female when we're not together. It's part of my being "together" for myself.
Non-normative gender relationships are complicated.
Wishing I could offer magic words that would make it all better for you. Time helps. "To thine own self be true."
Title: Re: These feelings need to go.
Post by: Aazhie on October 12, 2015, 04:16:36 AM
Post by: Aazhie on October 12, 2015, 04:16:36 AM
Quote from: ajthomas on September 30, 2015, 07:38:20 AM
(First love). I would've kissed the ground that she walked on, and I guess that is my fault for putting someone up so high. The worst part is, that it was my fault. :embarrassed:
First cut is the deepest :/ I'm sorry, know where you've been. Personally I ended a 4 year relationship when things got stale and let a 7 year relationship stagnate painfully long...
She's human too, you gotta let her be imperfect like the rest of us. My only advice is: learn from this, if you can learn to do it better it'll be a lesson worth learning. The feelings will pass, just not when you want them to... and not to judge on anything, but 2 years is a good learning experience, hopefully you can look back and say "We weren't the one for each other," much as it hurts now, I've been able to do that with all my past relationships and be happy for what I learned from them :)
Take care of yourself!