Community Conversation => Transsexual talk => Male to female transsexual talk (MTF) => Topic started by: MelissaAnn on October 01, 2015, 08:13:22 AM Return to Full Version
Title: One Year Anniversary...!
Post by: MelissaAnn on October 01, 2015, 08:13:22 AM
Post by: MelissaAnn on October 01, 2015, 08:13:22 AM
Well here it is at long last. I've reached a milestone for most of us. Today marks my one year anniversary. One year on hormones and one year into my un-masking. There are so many people to thank for their help through all of this. The list is too long to post here but all of you that have helped me know who you are. So with that being said.... What a year it's been. I started out as a shy meek person who needed a tremendous amount of help starting. I live in a large community of retired folk who had no idea what transgender is or was. Starting your un-masking is such a scary time in our lives. We face what's perceived as this huge mountain and it can be daunting when first starting.
I went into my un-masking thinking that this would be a long path to become myself and it would be 4-5 years before I could go full time and at least another 2 years before I was passable. Was I ever wrong...! What I didn't realize was even though I started on hormones my dysphoria would get worse as I started presenting more femininely. I started slowly by first piercing my ears and growing out my nails. I next I added feminine scarfs and brown mascara so it was less obvious to anyone. Slowly changing over to brown black and finally black. By time Thanksgiving came around I started to wear women's tops. To my surprise no one in my community here gave me much of a problem. Yes there were a lot of haters just because of who I am but they left me alone and didn't say much to me. By this time I had come out to my ex-wife who was not supportive and I held back telling my boys. By mid-December my hormones had been upped and I was presenting fully feminine until Christmas day. My youngest son who is 15 came over for a visit and I had to go back to being Dad for him. I tried to put on a brave front for him but I was in a full-fledged dysphoria attack my anxiety was through the roof. I didn't or couldn't have a good time with my son. After he went home I made up my mind there was no going back. Melissa was here to stay...! With that I went full time just 86 days into my un-masking. Only two times did I present male for less than 2 hours after that. Once was to come out to my oldest son and the other was to let my best friend say good bye to my old self.
The mountain I thought I was facing has turned into more of a hill than a mountain. There have been so many wonderful experiences over this past year. I met my first BFF Justine Roman who was the very first person to see me for who I am. Here was a 20 year old cis woman who understood me. She has been such a tremendous inspiration to me and showed me what it was like to be a strong independent woman. I would tell her I wanted to grow up just like her. A warm, kind, intelligent, strong and sensitive woman.
Then I was approached about a job here in the building I live in. So I started working at the information desk Monday thru Friday mornings. I also started volunteering doing nails for the residents here. Slowly I was gaining my confidence in Melissa. Next I was approached by Dani Hedman who owns the beauty salon in my building. She asked if I was interested in being her receptionist a day or two during the week. I jumped at the chance. She has only known me as Melissa and I was now working as Melissa. It didn't take long before Dani and I became good friends and I started working every day for her. I now also help with doing Nails and her books. All this in the first three mouths of my unmasking.
Using the ladies room was the next step for me so after I received my carry letter I started using the ladies room first kind of hiding using the bathrooms on the 16th floor of our building wear there was hardly ever anyone there unless there was a party going on. After a little while I started using the bathrooms on the main floors were all the activity is. By mid-January some of the people that didn't talk to me started to ask questions and get to know me. Most of them have come around now and have a lot of respect for me. This is when a resident in the building asked an evangelist to come and save my soul from eternal damnation. This was the first time Melissa felt threatened and I'm so proud to say Melissa was very impressive that night. She faced someone who's beliefs are against my unmasking. In the eyes of this person I was an abomination. After a six hour conversation the evangelist left saying they need to reevaluate their position on transgender people. This is when I knew..... I knew I was on the right path. I knew I could help our community. I knew I was more than strong enough to do this. Over the next couple of months the evangelist and I spoke many times. Each time she and I talked she had another passage from the bible for me and I always had a retort for her. Finally she asked if I would be willing to speak with the church elders and leaders. This time it was 5 on 1 but once again I Melissa held strong and rebutted all their attacks and remained calm and changed their way of thinking also. So much so that I've been asked to their women's bible studies and prayer groups.
It was sometime in January that I met my other BFF Dorinthia Bautista. She was pregnant already 6 months when we met. Here was another amazing woman who saw me and treated me right from the time we met like I was just one of the girls. We became real good friends real fast. Dori and Justine let me live vicariously through them and their pregnancies. Both of them have taught me how to be a strong woman through adversity.
By March I was passing with absolutely no problem and was invited by Dori to my very first Baby shower. This was huge for me because I was starting to really be seen for who I am. I was allowed to help Dori's mom and grandma with decorating for the baby shower and I felt very welcomed. At the baby shower another rite of passage happened. While there Justine said she had to use the restroom and asked me to go with her. I know that women will go in groups to the restroom and this was the first time I was asked to do so.
April was not only the start of spring but also the start of a new life in two ways. First Dori had her baby on the 17th and said I'm an aunt to her baby. It's also the month I started the process to legally change my name. After a couple of months of trying to figure out what and how to do it. This was also an eye opening experience for me. Everywhere I went I passed, the county clerk's office, courtroom and around town going past hundreds of people and no one said a thing. No funny looks, nothing. This is also the time that I started talking on a regular basis with Trent Camrin. He was a man who accepted me with no questions.
By the end of April I was meeting a lot of people online and is when I noticed how many people were coming to me to help them. I was helping someone almost every night and really seemed like I finally found my calling. Helping others. My conversations continued with Trent and they were becoming more frequent. By early may I found myself being drawn to him. Yes I was someone who before my un-masking was only attracted to women but now found myself very attracted to Trent. On May 22 we decided we would commit to each other as a couple.
June seems like a whirlwind to me. First at my endocrinologist appointment all my hormone levels were in good shape and my endocrinologist started me on Progesterone. It didn't take long before I noticed a difference with the way my body reacted to it. About a week later is when I started getting my first round of cramps. Yes the first of my now monthly visits. I spent two weeks taking care of all the little things that I needed to get done for my upcoming court date for my name change. Making sure all the (I)'s were dotted and all the (T)'s were crossed. On June 19th I went to court and my name change became legal. I went to the DMV and had my I.D. changed to read Melissa Ann Segebarth and Female. Then it was on to change every other form of I.D. Bank accounts credit cards insurance cards and finally I went to Social Security office to change my Social Security and Medicare cards. Just 9 short months after starting my unmasking I've gotten everything changed. I've changed my whole life around.
July I started my own business and became an Independent Associate with LegalShield. My second baby shower was on July 5th and this time it was I who throwing the baby shower for Justine. Talk about really feeling a part of the girls club, there is nothing like throwing a baby shower for one of your girlfriends to make you truly feel it. On the 21st Justine had her baby and for a second time in less than three months I'm an auntie...! It was also right around this time that I was asked to be an administrator of my first support group and also asked to appear on the Jackie Oooo Show. August was slow in comparison to June and July. Had some serious conversations with Trent about coming in for a visit. I started my own Support group and I Had my second call back for an appearance on The Jackie Oooo Show.
September came in a little slow but turned fantastic for me. Trent came in from Massachusetts on the 13th to visit with me. On the 14th I went on my first date with Trent and he was a perfect gentleman. I was treated the whole week he was here like a Princess. All firsts for me. Just this past Sunday I appeared on The Jackie Oooo Show for a third time. So as I celebrate my first anniversary all I can say is wow...! What a year it's been...! I'm looking forward to many more anniversaries to follow. ;D ;D ;D
I went into my un-masking thinking that this would be a long path to become myself and it would be 4-5 years before I could go full time and at least another 2 years before I was passable. Was I ever wrong...! What I didn't realize was even though I started on hormones my dysphoria would get worse as I started presenting more femininely. I started slowly by first piercing my ears and growing out my nails. I next I added feminine scarfs and brown mascara so it was less obvious to anyone. Slowly changing over to brown black and finally black. By time Thanksgiving came around I started to wear women's tops. To my surprise no one in my community here gave me much of a problem. Yes there were a lot of haters just because of who I am but they left me alone and didn't say much to me. By this time I had come out to my ex-wife who was not supportive and I held back telling my boys. By mid-December my hormones had been upped and I was presenting fully feminine until Christmas day. My youngest son who is 15 came over for a visit and I had to go back to being Dad for him. I tried to put on a brave front for him but I was in a full-fledged dysphoria attack my anxiety was through the roof. I didn't or couldn't have a good time with my son. After he went home I made up my mind there was no going back. Melissa was here to stay...! With that I went full time just 86 days into my un-masking. Only two times did I present male for less than 2 hours after that. Once was to come out to my oldest son and the other was to let my best friend say good bye to my old self.
The mountain I thought I was facing has turned into more of a hill than a mountain. There have been so many wonderful experiences over this past year. I met my first BFF Justine Roman who was the very first person to see me for who I am. Here was a 20 year old cis woman who understood me. She has been such a tremendous inspiration to me and showed me what it was like to be a strong independent woman. I would tell her I wanted to grow up just like her. A warm, kind, intelligent, strong and sensitive woman.
Then I was approached about a job here in the building I live in. So I started working at the information desk Monday thru Friday mornings. I also started volunteering doing nails for the residents here. Slowly I was gaining my confidence in Melissa. Next I was approached by Dani Hedman who owns the beauty salon in my building. She asked if I was interested in being her receptionist a day or two during the week. I jumped at the chance. She has only known me as Melissa and I was now working as Melissa. It didn't take long before Dani and I became good friends and I started working every day for her. I now also help with doing Nails and her books. All this in the first three mouths of my unmasking.
Using the ladies room was the next step for me so after I received my carry letter I started using the ladies room first kind of hiding using the bathrooms on the 16th floor of our building wear there was hardly ever anyone there unless there was a party going on. After a little while I started using the bathrooms on the main floors were all the activity is. By mid-January some of the people that didn't talk to me started to ask questions and get to know me. Most of them have come around now and have a lot of respect for me. This is when a resident in the building asked an evangelist to come and save my soul from eternal damnation. This was the first time Melissa felt threatened and I'm so proud to say Melissa was very impressive that night. She faced someone who's beliefs are against my unmasking. In the eyes of this person I was an abomination. After a six hour conversation the evangelist left saying they need to reevaluate their position on transgender people. This is when I knew..... I knew I was on the right path. I knew I could help our community. I knew I was more than strong enough to do this. Over the next couple of months the evangelist and I spoke many times. Each time she and I talked she had another passage from the bible for me and I always had a retort for her. Finally she asked if I would be willing to speak with the church elders and leaders. This time it was 5 on 1 but once again I Melissa held strong and rebutted all their attacks and remained calm and changed their way of thinking also. So much so that I've been asked to their women's bible studies and prayer groups.
It was sometime in January that I met my other BFF Dorinthia Bautista. She was pregnant already 6 months when we met. Here was another amazing woman who saw me and treated me right from the time we met like I was just one of the girls. We became real good friends real fast. Dori and Justine let me live vicariously through them and their pregnancies. Both of them have taught me how to be a strong woman through adversity.
By March I was passing with absolutely no problem and was invited by Dori to my very first Baby shower. This was huge for me because I was starting to really be seen for who I am. I was allowed to help Dori's mom and grandma with decorating for the baby shower and I felt very welcomed. At the baby shower another rite of passage happened. While there Justine said she had to use the restroom and asked me to go with her. I know that women will go in groups to the restroom and this was the first time I was asked to do so.
April was not only the start of spring but also the start of a new life in two ways. First Dori had her baby on the 17th and said I'm an aunt to her baby. It's also the month I started the process to legally change my name. After a couple of months of trying to figure out what and how to do it. This was also an eye opening experience for me. Everywhere I went I passed, the county clerk's office, courtroom and around town going past hundreds of people and no one said a thing. No funny looks, nothing. This is also the time that I started talking on a regular basis with Trent Camrin. He was a man who accepted me with no questions.
By the end of April I was meeting a lot of people online and is when I noticed how many people were coming to me to help them. I was helping someone almost every night and really seemed like I finally found my calling. Helping others. My conversations continued with Trent and they were becoming more frequent. By early may I found myself being drawn to him. Yes I was someone who before my un-masking was only attracted to women but now found myself very attracted to Trent. On May 22 we decided we would commit to each other as a couple.
June seems like a whirlwind to me. First at my endocrinologist appointment all my hormone levels were in good shape and my endocrinologist started me on Progesterone. It didn't take long before I noticed a difference with the way my body reacted to it. About a week later is when I started getting my first round of cramps. Yes the first of my now monthly visits. I spent two weeks taking care of all the little things that I needed to get done for my upcoming court date for my name change. Making sure all the (I)'s were dotted and all the (T)'s were crossed. On June 19th I went to court and my name change became legal. I went to the DMV and had my I.D. changed to read Melissa Ann Segebarth and Female. Then it was on to change every other form of I.D. Bank accounts credit cards insurance cards and finally I went to Social Security office to change my Social Security and Medicare cards. Just 9 short months after starting my unmasking I've gotten everything changed. I've changed my whole life around.
July I started my own business and became an Independent Associate with LegalShield. My second baby shower was on July 5th and this time it was I who throwing the baby shower for Justine. Talk about really feeling a part of the girls club, there is nothing like throwing a baby shower for one of your girlfriends to make you truly feel it. On the 21st Justine had her baby and for a second time in less than three months I'm an auntie...! It was also right around this time that I was asked to be an administrator of my first support group and also asked to appear on the Jackie Oooo Show. August was slow in comparison to June and July. Had some serious conversations with Trent about coming in for a visit. I started my own Support group and I Had my second call back for an appearance on The Jackie Oooo Show.
September came in a little slow but turned fantastic for me. Trent came in from Massachusetts on the 13th to visit with me. On the 14th I went on my first date with Trent and he was a perfect gentleman. I was treated the whole week he was here like a Princess. All firsts for me. Just this past Sunday I appeared on The Jackie Oooo Show for a third time. So as I celebrate my first anniversary all I can say is wow...! What a year it's been...! I'm looking forward to many more anniversaries to follow. ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: One Year Anniversary...!
Post by: Dee Marshall on October 01, 2015, 08:16:25 AM
Post by: Dee Marshall on October 01, 2015, 08:16:25 AM
Happy anniversary! I'm just a little ahead of you. So much done, so much yet to do!
Say, have you noticed a tendency to fall back into old (masculine) behaviors, speech and voice with certain people or situations? I cringe every time I catch myself doing it.
Say, have you noticed a tendency to fall back into old (masculine) behaviors, speech and voice with certain people or situations? I cringe every time I catch myself doing it.
Title: Re: One Year Anniversary...!
Post by: MelissaAnn on October 01, 2015, 08:38:43 AM
Post by: MelissaAnn on October 01, 2015, 08:38:43 AM
No not at all. With my voice and speech patterns I've had voice therapy and I work very hard every day on them. There are so many things that need to be changed when you start therapy on your voice that all the practice and work makes it very natural and it really does become second nature to you. As far as old habits, in the beginning yes but no longer. Everything is so automatic for me now I really don't even think or worry about it anymore.
Title: Re: One Year Anniversary...!
Post by: Mariah on October 01, 2015, 09:29:23 AM
Post by: Mariah on October 01, 2015, 09:29:23 AM
Melissa Ann Congrats on 1 year on HRT. You have accomplished a lot in a year. Hugs
Mariah
Mariah
Title: Re: One Year Anniversary...!
Post by: SofiN on October 01, 2015, 09:55:00 AM
Post by: SofiN on October 01, 2015, 09:55:00 AM
Congratulations on your first year!
It sounds like you have had the most amazing journey so far and it can only get better from here :D
Seeing stories like this push me to try harder as well, it is an inspiration!
It sounds like you have had the most amazing journey so far and it can only get better from here :D
Seeing stories like this push me to try harder as well, it is an inspiration!
Title: Re: One Year Anniversary...!
Post by: Traci New on October 04, 2015, 05:43:11 PM
Post by: Traci New on October 04, 2015, 05:43:11 PM
Wow what a year. Congrats on everything. I am so impressed with how you was able to handle it. Cant wait to hear more.
Title: Re: One Year Anniversary...!
Post by: stephaniec on October 04, 2015, 05:50:20 PM
Post by: stephaniec on October 04, 2015, 05:50:20 PM
happy anniversary
Title: Re: One Year Anniversary...!
Post by: Ms Grace on October 04, 2015, 05:51:37 PM
Post by: Ms Grace on October 04, 2015, 05:51:37 PM
Congrats! The first year on HRT can sure be a roller coaster but it sounds like there have been more ups than downs for you. I remember thinking I'd have to be on HRT for a year at least before I went full time, turned out to be much less than that :)