Susan's Place Transgender Resources

The first time I actually got this one. These days I am wearing a clockable wig, because I have to store it over work time. Won't do that to one of my best!

My integrity is about the first thing I keep hold of. Could think how another girl might feel. Thus, my recommendation for response:

- Does it matter?

Whatever else comes:
- Well I think it doesn't matter. And is none of your business.

Feel free to use the f-off if you need next script line.

It's nobodies' business but your own Martine.

I had something similar happen when i was still transitioning only the person decided to give my hair a hard tug to find out.  They were shocked out of their tiny minds to discover it was my own hair and I was very annoyed over having my hair pulled by a stranger.
It's a genetic thing in my family to have a silver grey stripe through our hair (can't see it now because I'm grey all over) and that's what led to this idiot thinking I was wearing a wig.

So yeah tell them to 'F-off' sister  >:(

"Is that a wig?"

"I can't imagine why you'd need to know that."

You could always counter attack.
"After paying for chemo, this was all I could afford."

Edit You can also respond "It's my own hair". After all you paid for it so you aren't lying.

Saying chemo opens up a whole pile of issues -- it can get you a disproportionate amount of sympathy, and continuing to lie quickly goes from ethically murky to just plain bad.

I'd probably respond with a facial expression.  By looking emphatically hurt or indignant, you can drive the message home in a visceral way that doesn't involve releasing any information, true or false.

I suppose it depends on the surrounding culture, communication style and past experiences.

For the one that seems to appeal to their sense of what is right to ask and what not, I expect things like "Oh, plain curiosity, sorry for asking, did I offend you?? Sooo sorry... I thought you were wearing a wig, but you'd know better, right?".

Myself I wouldn't go for giving false reasons, I'd sooner tell what my reason is - I don't have my own hair. My mother has had breast cancer so that is too why I am sensitive to the particular topic.

The only thing that really concerns me about my wig is that it remains the same day in and day out, I never have a bad hair day and I'm surprised the other women I've been working with haven't started to piece it together. Comments from them all indicate they believe it to be my real hair. I actually try to avoid the topic lest I find myself in awkward situation around the truth and need to lie. If anyone asks who does my hair I'm going to be stuck. I did contemplate that could say "oh, a guy named Henry Margu, he's great" - but if they looked him up to book in they'd get a real surprise!

Cis girls wear wigs all the time depending on what look they want that day. It is not uncommon so it is really nothing strange and no one else's business.

I like the head on approach, perhaps something along the lines of:

"Why yes it is, and oh by the way - where did you get yours?"

Quote from: Lady Smith on October 09, 2015, 05:56:22 PM
It's nobodies' business but your own Martine.

I had something similar happen when i was still transitioning only the person decided to give my hair a hard tug to find out.  They were shocked out of their tiny minds to discover it was my own hair and I was very annoyed over having my hair pulled by a stranger.
It's a genetic thing in my family to have a silver grey stripe through our hair (can't see it now because I'm grey all over) and that's what led to this idiot thinking I was wearing a wig.

So yeah tell them to 'F-off' sister  >:( When that happened to me not only did I tell them to F off I put his front teeth through his lip.You should have seen the way people swept aside for me after that!

Oh, I would definitely get furious is someone touched my hair. Except boyfriend or mom or such. I am still on T on the top of that.

I would be rolling on the floor laughing if anyone knowing the male persona asked me that question.  "Mad's snappy answers to stupid questions" dictates the proper response to be "No, you always have been seeing me in a bald cap for he past 30 years"

Haha true that.

At island where I live, sellers get to know their customers quicker than on larger chunks of ground. About nobody among sellers knows me without hair. So could have been an honest question.

I guess I wore a wig, (strawberry blonde slightly wavy) because I saw my favorite actress bridget fonda wear one in one of her movies. I went to a community theater troupe garage sale & they had one for sale. I figured since it was used on stage, it would be Okay. It was. I had to get used to styling it. I asked a girl I knew if she could show me how. Not sure if she believed my story but she did help me. I only wore it a few times outside. After my own hair grew past my collar, my GF/mentor Vikki sent me to a Beauty Shoppe that handles CDers. I showed the girl the wig & she dyed & styled my hair that way. I was in heaven when I saw my reflection! Now some people think I am wearing my wig. LOL 

I wore a wig til my hair grew out,when I stopped wearing one people still thought I wore one til they found it's my natural hair. I prefer my own hair more cooler.

I never wore a wig but I would tell people none of their business

I usually go for pointing out something ludicrously obvious back at them;

'Are they trousers?'
'Is that a jacket?'

Then stroll on. It gives them something to think about whilst you walk off and tends to stop those sort of veiled attacks on your person in their tracks, as whoever is saying it is usually trying to make a 'thing' of the fact you're wearing a wig and make you feel weird about it, but this response normalises it pretty swiftly.

Also works well with the, 'are you wearing women's clothes' nonsense as well.

Quote from: Martine A. on October 09, 2015, 02:43:48 PM
The first time I actually got this one. These days I am wearing a clockable wig, because I have to store it over work time. Won't do that to one of my best!

My integrity is about the first thing I keep hold of. Could think how another girl might feel. Thus, my recommendation for response:

- Does it matter?

Whatever else comes:
- Well I think it doesn't matter. And is none of your business.

Feel free to use the f-off if you need next script line.

Many people wear wigs for various reasons and there is nothing wrong with it, there may come the day when I might need one

I have personally known cancer patients and would probably stay away from using having chemo as a reason unless it were actually true, I actually donated my hair twice in younger days

As for people asking about it, it would depend on if they were a friend or a stranger and what their motives are

If it's just a friendly curiosity I most likely wouldn't feel bothered, if they are looking to nitpick or knock me down in some way there is a good chance I would tell them what bus to catch

Hugs

Or...
Q - "Is that your hair?"

A - "Yes, I paid for it"

Quote from: JoanneB on October 10, 2015, 08:02:34 AM
I would be rolling on the floor laughing if anyone knowing the male persona asked me that question.  "Mad's snappy answers to stupid questions" dictates the proper response to be "No, you always have been seeing me in a bald cap for he past 30 years"

My answer this time of year would have been, "No, it's a hairy alien monster.  It attached itself to my head.  And now there are these two things bursting out of my chest."

Or, "Actually I'm auditioning for a 1980's cover band.  Would you like to hear me sing some Van Halen?"

(If the wig is blond)  "I'm entering a Donald Trump lookalike contest.  How am I doing?"