Community Conversation => Youth talk => Topic started by: piralan on October 11, 2015, 06:19:22 PM Return to Full Version
Title: Coming out letter
Post by: piralan on October 11, 2015, 06:19:22 PM
Post by: piralan on October 11, 2015, 06:19:22 PM
I've been working on it for about a few days now, and I think I have most of what I want to say in the letter. I plan to send one to my dad too, the same as this one but probably more detailed since I'm closer to him emotionally. I'll put that one in this thread though. Here's the one for my mom.
With what I'm about to tell you, I want you to know that I love you, and this isn't meant to hurt your feelings at all. I want and hope that you come to accept me as I have accepted myself.
It all really started that day I first hit puberty. I remember it so vividly with the bright blue swimsuit and the whole explanation you gave me on what exactly was happening to me, and why i couldn't go swimming. I hate whenever the month changes, knowing for about a week I'll feel horrible. I even feel horrible whenever we go shopping for bras, and I just wish I wouldn't have to deal with them, or my chest. I started to dislike AFJROTC because being treated like a girl by a room full of guys isn't what I want. (But that's not why I want to stop the class) I hate it every time my friends refer to me as a girl.
I've had these feelings for about 6 years now, and only recently have I figured out the reason I felt this way about myself. I've been researching by myself for about a year now, and I finally figured out who I am, and came to terms with it. I'm transgender. Which means I don't identify or feel as my gender assigned at birth. For me, I feel male, but I was assigned and biologically female since birth.
I don't want you to think this is a phase or anything temporary. This is me, and I only wish for your love and care to continue as before this was even brought up.
I ask that after you read this, you take a day or two to research by yourself on being transgender so that when we do talk about this in person, you'll have some background knowledge on being transgender and or being a parent of someone who is transgender. I don't want to flood you with information, since that wouldn't help. I don't want you to think I am totally changing. I am still your child, but I am now doing what I can to truly be myself. The boy I am has always been there, from wearing men's clothing, to being obsessed with things that are mostly seen as masculine. I am only asking you to accept me as your son but overall as your child, your child who is doing what it takes to be himself.
Sent from my C6530N using Tapatalk
With what I'm about to tell you, I want you to know that I love you, and this isn't meant to hurt your feelings at all. I want and hope that you come to accept me as I have accepted myself.
It all really started that day I first hit puberty. I remember it so vividly with the bright blue swimsuit and the whole explanation you gave me on what exactly was happening to me, and why i couldn't go swimming. I hate whenever the month changes, knowing for about a week I'll feel horrible. I even feel horrible whenever we go shopping for bras, and I just wish I wouldn't have to deal with them, or my chest. I started to dislike AFJROTC because being treated like a girl by a room full of guys isn't what I want. (But that's not why I want to stop the class) I hate it every time my friends refer to me as a girl.
I've had these feelings for about 6 years now, and only recently have I figured out the reason I felt this way about myself. I've been researching by myself for about a year now, and I finally figured out who I am, and came to terms with it. I'm transgender. Which means I don't identify or feel as my gender assigned at birth. For me, I feel male, but I was assigned and biologically female since birth.
I don't want you to think this is a phase or anything temporary. This is me, and I only wish for your love and care to continue as before this was even brought up.
I ask that after you read this, you take a day or two to research by yourself on being transgender so that when we do talk about this in person, you'll have some background knowledge on being transgender and or being a parent of someone who is transgender. I don't want to flood you with information, since that wouldn't help. I don't want you to think I am totally changing. I am still your child, but I am now doing what I can to truly be myself. The boy I am has always been there, from wearing men's clothing, to being obsessed with things that are mostly seen as masculine. I am only asking you to accept me as your son but overall as your child, your child who is doing what it takes to be himself.
Sent from my C6530N using Tapatalk
Title: Re: Coming out letter
Post by: Laura_7 on October 11, 2015, 06:41:59 PM
Post by: Laura_7 on October 11, 2015, 06:41:59 PM
I think its good.
Its up to you but here are a few resources that might be shown:
https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,195129.msg1740788.html#msg1740788
https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,194946.msg1736596.html#msg1736596
Some people make a comparison with a twin... they will be like their male/female twin, with the same sense of humour...
and you might if you want add something like you would want to see a good gender therapist...
the gender therapist to help you along, maybe with easy reversible steps first, to help you find out how they make you feel...
so that you have someone to guide you and help you along, and no rash but appropriate steps are made.... appropriate also in your favour, so that it moves along...
but its all up to you...
*hugs*
Its up to you but here are a few resources that might be shown:
https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,195129.msg1740788.html#msg1740788
https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,194946.msg1736596.html#msg1736596
Some people make a comparison with a twin... they will be like their male/female twin, with the same sense of humour...
and you might if you want add something like you would want to see a good gender therapist...
the gender therapist to help you along, maybe with easy reversible steps first, to help you find out how they make you feel...
so that you have someone to guide you and help you along, and no rash but appropriate steps are made.... appropriate also in your favour, so that it moves along...
but its all up to you...
*hugs*
Title: Re: Coming out letter
Post by: Mariah on October 11, 2015, 06:50:33 PM
Post by: Mariah on October 11, 2015, 06:50:33 PM
It's well written although I think I would personally give them a little more background as to why. The frame of reference they may need. Hugs
Mariah
Mariah
Title: Re: Coming out letter
Post by: piralan on October 12, 2015, 11:10:59 AM
Post by: piralan on October 12, 2015, 11:10:59 AM
Thank you. I changed it a little with some of the advice I was given and I put it in her bag for work this morning. Now I wait. But also. Thank you again for helping with the letter. I really appreciate it
Sent from my C6530N using Tapatalk
Sent from my C6530N using Tapatalk
Title: Re: Coming out letter
Post by: Laura_7 on October 12, 2015, 12:43:09 PM
Post by: Laura_7 on October 12, 2015, 12:43:09 PM
Quote from: piralan on October 12, 2015, 11:10:59 AM
Thank you. I changed it a little with some of the advice I was given and I put it in her bag for work this morning. Now I wait. But also. Thank you again for helping with the letter. I really appreciate it
Sent from my C6530N using Tapatalk
You're welcome :)
Wish you luck :)
Title: Re: Coming out letter
Post by: iKate on October 13, 2015, 06:09:09 AM
Post by: iKate on October 13, 2015, 06:09:09 AM
I think it is an excellent letter. Good luck.
Title: Re: Coming out letter
Post by: Matthew on October 13, 2015, 06:10:46 AM
Post by: Matthew on October 13, 2015, 06:10:46 AM
It sounds good. Good luck, I hope everything goes smoothly :)