Community Conversation => Transgender talk => Topic started by: Karlie Ann on October 14, 2015, 07:54:51 PM Return to Full Version
Title: First time out
Post by: Karlie Ann on October 14, 2015, 07:54:51 PM
Post by: Karlie Ann on October 14, 2015, 07:54:51 PM
I apologize if this is the wrong spot for this, but tonight I went for a drive dressed in girl clothes and it was wonderful and I had to share it. I finally was able to go out of the house dressed as the real me. I'm a long way from being able to go to a public place, but this is progress!
Title: Re: First time out
Post by: Rainbow Bay on October 14, 2015, 08:03:03 PM
Post by: Rainbow Bay on October 14, 2015, 08:03:03 PM
Congratulations lovely!
It's definitely a wonderful feeling, being able to be out and about as yourself. Hopefully there's lots more to come. :)
It's definitely a wonderful feeling, being able to be out and about as yourself. Hopefully there's lots more to come. :)
Title: Re: First time out
Post by: Asche on October 14, 2015, 08:18:36 PM
Post by: Asche on October 14, 2015, 08:18:36 PM
FWIW, it took me several years to get to the point of feeling halfway comfortable going out "dressed." I started by walking into town at 4:00 a.m. I graduated to going to a nearby supermarket right at opening time, when there weren't many people up and about, so I'd actually interact with people dressed. And so on. Each step made me very anxious, and it took a lot of times to get the anxiety down to reasonable levels.
It helped that nobody gave me a hard time about it. I've had maybe 2 or 3 negative reactions in almost 10 years. By now, I take the train in and out of NYC, ride the subway and the bus, go to chorus, all while I'm dressed. It almost feels normal....
BTW, I don't pass at all. My approach has been to "own" it, and work my way up to things slowly so I can at least fake confidence at any point.
It helped that nobody gave me a hard time about it. I've had maybe 2 or 3 negative reactions in almost 10 years. By now, I take the train in and out of NYC, ride the subway and the bus, go to chorus, all while I'm dressed. It almost feels normal....
BTW, I don't pass at all. My approach has been to "own" it, and work my way up to things slowly so I can at least fake confidence at any point.
Title: Re: First time out
Post by: Aazhie on October 15, 2015, 02:04:12 AM
Post by: Aazhie on October 15, 2015, 02:04:12 AM
Congrats! :D Small steps are always grand and much easier to handle for me!
Title: Re: First time out
Post by: KristinaM on October 21, 2015, 03:21:27 PM
Post by: KristinaM on October 21, 2015, 03:21:27 PM
I have to change in the car sometimes b/c I'm not out at work, but I am everywhere else, so for doctor's appointments, lunch, therapy, etc... I like putting my bra on in the car at stoplights and looking around me to see if anyone notices, lol.
Title: Re: First time out
Post by: Sophieraven on October 21, 2015, 04:32:09 PM
Post by: Sophieraven on October 21, 2015, 04:32:09 PM
I love going out in the car dressed, and i can do the shopping if i wear trousers(pants) Rather than a skirt. in fact last night whilst at Tesco, i saw some guys from where i used to work that commented on how good i looked weight wise etc and didn't even seem to notice that i was dressed any different to normal.
Sophie
Sophie
Title: Re: First time out
Post by: Kylie1 on October 21, 2015, 08:05:36 PM
Post by: Kylie1 on October 21, 2015, 08:05:36 PM
Awesome! That feels wonderful doesn't it? Good for you! :)
Title: Re: First time out
Post by: Mariah on October 21, 2015, 08:27:51 PM
Post by: Mariah on October 21, 2015, 08:27:51 PM
Congrats Carlie Ann. Baby steps are a good thing. Hugs
Mariah
Mariah
Title: Re: First time out
Post by: AmandaDanielle on October 21, 2015, 10:10:07 PM
Post by: AmandaDanielle on October 21, 2015, 10:10:07 PM
That is fabulous! Take your time.. it will come :) The first time i went out of the house dressed, I had a panic attack. The second time i went out it was going to my therapist appointment. I was so uneasy... even driving i thought other drivers knew what was up. My therapist didn't even recognize me until i smiled. I've learned that if i have confidence people believe what they see :) I recently went to Seattle for a week as my true self! Super exciting to be myself. One of my trans friends told me, the bird is out of the cage and she liked it! She's totally right!!
Keep at it hun, it will get easier xoxoxo!
Keep at it hun, it will get easier xoxoxo!
Title: Re: First time out
Post by: audreelyn on October 22, 2015, 01:53:58 AM
Post by: audreelyn on October 22, 2015, 01:53:58 AM
Congrats girl :)
It's a fantastic feeling! I get a great joy, a joy greater than anything else by something as simple as just being myself. I'm happy for you that you have the courage to do this too ;D
Audree
It's a fantastic feeling! I get a great joy, a joy greater than anything else by something as simple as just being myself. I'm happy for you that you have the courage to do this too ;D
Audree
Title: Re: First time out
Post by: Ciara on October 22, 2015, 05:27:58 AM
Post by: Ciara on October 22, 2015, 05:27:58 AM
Well done Girl 😉😉.
That is awesome. Isn't it such a wonderful feeling?
I'm so happy for you as I know this is a big step.
That is awesome. Isn't it such a wonderful feeling?
I'm so happy for you as I know this is a big step.
Title: Re: First time out
Post by: Sheila Grace on October 23, 2015, 10:45:33 AM
Post by: Sheila Grace on October 23, 2015, 10:45:33 AM
Quote from: Karlie Ann on October 14, 2015, 07:54:51 PM
I apologize if this is the wrong spot for this, but tonight I went for a drive dressed in girl clothes and it was wonderful and I had to share it. I finally was able to go out of the house dressed as the real me. I'm a long way from being able to go to a public place, but this is progress!
Karlie Ann- Bravo for you. Those are the steps that give each of us the courage that we need to be authentic. Yours act was heroic in more ways than you can know.Blessings, Sheila
Title: Re: First time out
Post by: Karlie Ann on October 23, 2015, 07:54:00 PM
Post by: Karlie Ann on October 23, 2015, 07:54:00 PM
Thank you all so much for the support. But after Lemon's comment in the could I pass thread, I'm wondering of it's all for nothing. Will I always be instantly read...that terrifies me more than anything.
Title: Re: First time out
Post by: Deborah on October 23, 2015, 08:06:20 PM
Post by: Deborah on October 23, 2015, 08:06:20 PM
Quote from: Karlie Ann on October 23, 2015, 07:54:00 PMYou shouldn't worry about that too much. If you do HRT later that will change a lot. After 10 months on HRT I am starting to get occasionally called ma'am just out in jeans and a t shirt, no makeup or anything. I also have noticed a great decline in the frequency of Sir.
Thank you all so much for the support. But after Lemon's comment in the could I pass thread, I'm wondering of it's all for nothing. Will I always be instantly read...that terrifies me more than anything.
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Title: Re: First time out
Post by: Sheila Grace on October 24, 2015, 09:14:44 AM
Post by: Sheila Grace on October 24, 2015, 09:14:44 AM
Quote from: Karlie Ann on October 23, 2015, 07:54:00 PM
Thank you all so much for the support. But after Lemon's comment in the could I pass thread, I'm wondering of it's all for nothing. Will I always be instantly read...that terrifies me more than anything.
Don't worry, Karlie Ann, it is a process and you WILL get there. Comments like that are rarely helpful or well placed; you are right where you need to be and doing the right thing. Keep it up!!!! Blessings, Sheila