Site News and Information => Introductions => Topic started by: Miril on October 14, 2015, 10:46:50 PM Return to Full Version
Title: Hello all!
Post by: Miril on October 14, 2015, 10:46:50 PM
Post by: Miril on October 14, 2015, 10:46:50 PM
I suppose its time I finally introduced myself. I joined about a month ago and ever since have been working my way through Susan's like a kid in a candy store.
For as long as I can remember I have been on two journey's; one to become the man that I was expected to become and the other to become Miril. The first was relatively easy to understand as the rules and expectations are there for all to see. Becoming Miril was a lot harder. I had no idea why I always felt so different or why I was really more interested in all things feminine. I didnt have the words to even describe myself but learned it was best not to even ask or reveal my interests. I know now that I was dealing with gender dysphoria but way back then, I dont think the term even existed. I dont feel sorry myself - I have had a successful male life and I am fortunate that I was able to manage my dysphoria reasonably well. But the desire to become "Miril" never lessened and over time I learned some new words - crossdresser, freak, transvestite, deviant, transgender. No doubt that my ability to form close friendships and relationships has been compromised by the need to hide who I really was. While outwardly happy and successful, there were times when I was so ANGRY, FRUSTRATED, UNHAPPY that I couldnt be who I wanted to be and at the same time ashamed that I was not courageous enough to simply come out from the shadows and deal with the consequences. Fortunately, I met my current wife - someone who is accepting and sympathetic and over the past 14 years, I have had more freedom to explore who I really am and I finally found a word that really describes me - I am transgender. My daughters know that this is who I am - which is supremely liberating.
So now I am exploring how far along this journey I can / am willing to go. My wife and I have many things we still need to sort out but I know that being here is already helping!
For as long as I can remember I have been on two journey's; one to become the man that I was expected to become and the other to become Miril. The first was relatively easy to understand as the rules and expectations are there for all to see. Becoming Miril was a lot harder. I had no idea why I always felt so different or why I was really more interested in all things feminine. I didnt have the words to even describe myself but learned it was best not to even ask or reveal my interests. I know now that I was dealing with gender dysphoria but way back then, I dont think the term even existed. I dont feel sorry myself - I have had a successful male life and I am fortunate that I was able to manage my dysphoria reasonably well. But the desire to become "Miril" never lessened and over time I learned some new words - crossdresser, freak, transvestite, deviant, transgender. No doubt that my ability to form close friendships and relationships has been compromised by the need to hide who I really was. While outwardly happy and successful, there were times when I was so ANGRY, FRUSTRATED, UNHAPPY that I couldnt be who I wanted to be and at the same time ashamed that I was not courageous enough to simply come out from the shadows and deal with the consequences. Fortunately, I met my current wife - someone who is accepting and sympathetic and over the past 14 years, I have had more freedom to explore who I really am and I finally found a word that really describes me - I am transgender. My daughters know that this is who I am - which is supremely liberating.
So now I am exploring how far along this journey I can / am willing to go. My wife and I have many things we still need to sort out but I know that being here is already helping!
Title: Re: Hello all!
Post by: Dena on October 15, 2015, 02:47:53 AM
Post by: Dena on October 15, 2015, 02:47:53 AM
Maybe one of these day I should take a lesson from you and make a proper post in introductions. As a moderator it's a bit of a problem tracking down people who don't make their first post in introductions so I can give them a copy of the rules but I have to remember that I made my first post over in the voice section so I to came through the back door. I agree with you about this web site. I sure could have used it 50 years ago as I had to settle for what ever I found in the paper or college library. if you can't find it in an existing post, you only need to make a new thread and often within hours you will have a reply.
While I have seeing few of your post around the site, I don't think I have posted on the same topic with you but if I can help you, let me know.
While I have seeing few of your post around the site, I don't think I have posted on the same topic with you but if I can help you, let me know.
Title: Re: Hello all!
Post by: V M on October 15, 2015, 04:32:55 PM
Post by: V M on October 15, 2015, 04:32:55 PM
Hi Miril :icon_wave:
Welcome to Susan's :) Glad to have you here, join on in the fun
Hugs
V M
Welcome to Susan's :) Glad to have you here, join on in the fun
Hugs
V M
Title: Re: Hello all!
Post by: gennee on October 15, 2015, 06:56:04 PM
Post by: gennee on October 15, 2015, 06:56:04 PM
A hearty welcome to Susan's, Miril. It's very liberating when we can be the person we really are. Your post reminds me of my transition over ten years ago. I've never been happier.
:)
:)
Title: Re: Hello all!
Post by: Miril on October 15, 2015, 07:20:03 PM
Post by: Miril on October 15, 2015, 07:20:03 PM
Many many thanks to you all for the warm welcome! You've already been a big help for me.
Title: Re: Hello all!
Post by: Catherine Sarah on October 16, 2015, 09:54:39 AM
Post by: Catherine Sarah on October 16, 2015, 09:54:39 AM
Hi Miril,
A big Aussie welcome to Susan's family. It's good of you to drop in and say "Hi". Hope you like it here, and you stay for a while.
There is a mountain of information, resources and friendship waiting for you here, you just need to jump in start talking and ask any question you like. You're quite safe here and we are very accepting.
You're off to an excellent start. Sit down, buckle up and get ready for the craziest rollover coaster ride of your life. You'll never look back. Just remember; transition is not exclusively yours. In your field of influence, everyone will experience your transition as well as their own, along the way.
Looking forward to hearing more of your story in time to come, but in the meantime, be safe, well and happy.
Lotsa huggs
Catherine
A big Aussie welcome to Susan's family. It's good of you to drop in and say "Hi". Hope you like it here, and you stay for a while.
There is a mountain of information, resources and friendship waiting for you here, you just need to jump in start talking and ask any question you like. You're quite safe here and we are very accepting.
You're off to an excellent start. Sit down, buckle up and get ready for the craziest rollover coaster ride of your life. You'll never look back. Just remember; transition is not exclusively yours. In your field of influence, everyone will experience your transition as well as their own, along the way.
Looking forward to hearing more of your story in time to come, but in the meantime, be safe, well and happy.
Lotsa huggs
Catherine
Title: Re: Hello all!
Post by: Miril on October 16, 2015, 12:43:29 PM
Post by: Miril on October 16, 2015, 12:43:29 PM
Catherine,
Thank for the wise words about transition. I am just starting to learn how true they are and will never lose sight of their importance!
Thank for the wise words about transition. I am just starting to learn how true they are and will never lose sight of their importance!