Susan's Place Transgender Resources

I was not in the greatest frame of mind today and was feeling pretty down. I text my Youngest daughter(23) to see how she was doing so she decided to come over and see me. We normally have a great time together but this afternoon was different...it was great  different. I have never spent this kind of time with her before because we talked about many things including her boyfriend, her job, my transition, her mother, her sister, her and of course me.

She started to ask me specific transition type questions which I answered...would I change my name when it got to the point that I was presenting mostly female, what did I like to wear did I have my own style, don't get false eyelashes because they are a pain,  what was I going to do about my hair (head) did I won a wig, and so on and so on. I also managed to get her to start looking at things differently, I said to her "if we look at gender dysphoria in relation to me what does it actually mean."

I got her to consider the idea that
My essence, my being, me never was male but always female...
I won't become a woman because I already am one.
I will be aligning my presentation with who I already am...

when she started to get a hold of the truth of these concepts it made her eyes grow wide....she may take some time to process this which is just fine.

She also asked if I had any photo's of myself and I told her I did also asking if she wanted to see one. I could see her wanting to back out so let her off the hook by telling her another time was Okay. Her response was to say ...no I really do want to see...So I set up a couple of shots from my makeover, the ones taken when I was just sat down relaxing in between "shots". I took the plunge and showed her...Her mother is the only other significant person to have seen them

She genuinely exclaimed with almost relief "Oh Daddy you look great , I love the dress and you look really beautiful in it. Wow mum was right you do look like Hannah (My Mum), Thank you for showing me you look really pretty" she was beaming at me from ear to ear and I know she was genuine...as for me I had the weirdest cascading of feelings I have ever experienced in my life ending in simple joy. No person that is of significance to me has ever seen the photo's apart from my wife and for them to evoke such a genuine positive reaction was hard for me to process initially.

So my response of course is to tear up...my daughter thought she had done something to hurt me but I told her not at all exactly the opposite. I could not tell her what was in my heart it was so full...I tried and simply choked up again. I eventually thanked her and told her that what she had said to me had made me incredibly happy. She said I am glad because it is true you do look really great. I think she was relieved apart from other emotions she was experiencing.  I know her opinion is a biased one but being told you are beautiful really does wonders for your psyche.

What an afternoon...I will cherish her reaction for many years I expect. It is certainly imprinted firmly in my memory.

Sarah T 

Lovely Hon!

You are going great!!

Love

Cindy

How wonderful . . . .

Daughters can be such a blessing the support I get from My Daughters means the world to Me

It sounds like you are making progress with the family. It takes time to win them over but it can be time will spent. I am happy for you.

What a wonderful afternoon indeed!  So happy for you :)

What a great story!  I am so happy for you!

This is amazing news. What a blessing today must have been for you, such a validating experience. Stay beautiful!

super sweet, I hope things can feel a little better overall with another who understands.  :)  I think your explaining that you were always a woman inside not 'becoming one now' is very true to many people.  I don't think many cisfolk have to reconcile that dissonance in such a profound way unless they have also experienced a pretty big realization about themselves.  I took me about a decode or two to even think about it too hard on my own, so it's great to see that make sense for your daughter <3

I don't know what voodoo spell my Daughter put on me but when I awoke this morning it wasn't to self loathing and despair. I feel pretty happy today :) :) and I can only put it down to her kind words yesterday. I have some really positive thoughts for a change, I am sure my "black dog" will come back to visit in the not too distant future but for now I will take the peace and calm. I have never been called beautiful before and it was such a weird but pleasurable situation

I am making progress with my family and we are talking more and more openly about not if I am going to transition but now when I transition. It has taken much work on their part as well as my own in order to get them to start feeling comfortable. Ramping up my look to be more feminie has certainly helped them get used to a few things.

When we were talking yesterday I asked my daughter about the changes and what she had noticed. She had noticed about 1/2 the things I had done and didn't notice the rest until I pointed them out. I think in general people notice much less about us then what we think.

What a day, can I have another please...how about another 50 years of them.

Sarah T

Quote from: Aazhie on October 15, 2015, 03:38:31 PM
super sweet, I hope things can feel a little better overall with another who understands.  :)  I think your explaining that you were always a woman inside not 'becoming one now' is very true to many people.  I don't think many cisfolk have to reconcile that dissonance in such a profound way unless they have also experienced a pretty big realization about themselves.  I took me about a decode or two to even think about it too hard on my own, so it's great to see that make sense for your daughter <3

Hi and thanks for the kind words, one of the things I have noticed when I was coming out to my family over the last few months is the constant reference to "changing into a woman" in its many and varied forms. What that says to me is that they do not understand how deep in me these waters run and that I have always been female...If I can get them to consider that then they begin to understand how awful life can be for me.  Once they begin to grasp the concept that I never was a man and have always been female then they seem to get the truth of it a bit more. I think they can begin to relate. I know once my wife gets to this stage where she understands on a deep enough level with the idea there will be no stopping her commitment.

Sarah T

Quote from: sarahtokes on October 15, 2015, 04:04:42 PM
Hi and thanks for the kind words, one of the things I have noticed when I was coming out to my family over the last few months is the constant reference to "changing into a woman" in its many and varied forms. What that says to me is that they do not understand how deep in me these waters run and that I have always been female...If I can get them to consider that then they begin to understand how awful life can be for me.  Once they begin to grasp the concept that I never was a man and have always been female then they seem to get the truth of it a bit more. I think they can begin to relate. I know once my wife gets to this stage where she understands on a deep enough level with the idea there will be no stopping her commitment.

Sarah T

Interestingly I had a relatable incident today to your comment about changing into a woman. I was having a discussion about diversity at my company and engagement of women. I was approached for my unique perspective of being trans. When asked about how my thoughts were different now and in the past, I corrected them and informed them that, my thought process has never changed. I still think the same way then as now.  I also included that I was always aware and conscious of gender divisions and inequalities,so could give them my experiences and understand inn how things have been all along. 

Additionally I am so thrilled to hear that others have the same 'cloud 9' euphoria that I have when my gender identity is normalized. A comic artist on tumblr 'assignedmale' called it Gender Euphoria instead of dysphoria.  😺

Quote from: Kibi on October 15, 2015, 06:04:13 PM
Additionally I am so thrilled to hear that others have the same 'cloud 9' euphoria that I have when my gender identity is normalized. A comic artist on tumblr 'assignedmale' called it Gender Euphoria instead of dysphoria.  😺

It is a rare and pleasant experience for me, in fact it is a first. So extra special in my book...I have to have a bit of a gush about Assigned Male...I just love the perspective and the out right fun of the way she gets her point across in the comic strips and the characters are exactly that, very relatable.

Sarah T