Community Conversation => Transgender talk => Topic started by: nariko86 on October 15, 2015, 06:36:37 AM Return to Full Version
Title: So helpless
Post by: nariko86 on October 15, 2015, 06:36:37 AM
Post by: nariko86 on October 15, 2015, 06:36:37 AM
I have a girlfriend and I don't know how to tell her that I am transgender, I don't know how she would feel about it. It feels like my whole body wants to crash [emoji17] [emoji22]
Sent from my GT-I9305 using Tapatalk
Sent from my GT-I9305 using Tapatalk
Title: Re: So helpless
Post by: Laura_7 on October 15, 2015, 06:40:52 AM
Post by: Laura_7 on October 15, 2015, 06:40:52 AM
Here are a few resources that could help:
https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,197523.msg1756901.html#msg1756901
In another thread was a very good post saying it might be easier coming out if there is already a feeling that people can talk to each other, about what really moves them. If not it might be positive to try to work on this... like getting a feeling of understanding.
hugs
https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,197523.msg1756901.html#msg1756901
In another thread was a very good post saying it might be easier coming out if there is already a feeling that people can talk to each other, about what really moves them. If not it might be positive to try to work on this... like getting a feeling of understanding.
hugs
Title: Re: So helpless
Post by: Skylar1992 on October 15, 2015, 04:37:45 PM
Post by: Skylar1992 on October 15, 2015, 04:37:45 PM
If she cares about you I'm sure she won't mind :)
Ask yourself, would you prefer to be true to yourself or hide yourself because you worry about others views
Ask yourself, would you prefer to be true to yourself or hide yourself because you worry about others views
Title: Re: So helpless
Post by: Kylie1 on October 20, 2015, 03:26:59 PM
Post by: Kylie1 on October 20, 2015, 03:26:59 PM
I told my ex wife i needed to talk to her about something very serious. She said ok. I told her about my life long dysphoria and that I needed to express some of it, like it was a pressure building up, like I need to let my true self out. She didn't take it well. She steadily created a massive distance emotionally and sexually, which made me halt any transition or feminine changes. She pushed me away and said that I lied to her and took away her life. She started dating my friend behind my back for over a year. When I caught her in the affair she said she wanted a real man, not some "weird freak that wants to be a woman". She said she wanted to stay married but would need real men to satisfy her. I was devastated. Now post divorce, I have a girlfriend that is sexually free but doesn't know about the dysphoria... I think my girlfriend will be ok with it though, I just don't know. All people take things in different ways, mine was worse case scenario.
Good luck
Xx
Good luck
Xx
Title: Re: So helpless
Post by: genevie on October 20, 2015, 05:04:52 PM
Post by: genevie on October 20, 2015, 05:04:52 PM
Quote from: Kylie1 on October 20, 2015, 03:26:59 PM
I told my ex wife i needed to talk to her about something very serious. She said ok. I told her about my life long dysphoria and that I needed to express some of it, like it was a pressure building up, like I need to let my true self out. She didn't take it well. She steadily created a massive distance emotionally and sexually, which made me halt any transition or feminine changes. She pushed me away and said that I lied to her and took away her life. She started dating my friend behind my back for over a year. When I caught her in the affair she said she wanted a real man, not some "weird freak that wants to be a woman". She said she wanted to stay married but would need real men to satisfy her. I was devastated. Now post divorce, I have a girlfriend that is sexually free but doesn't know about the dysphoria... I think my girlfriend will be ok with it though, I just don't know. All people take things in different ways, mine was worse case scenario.
Good luck
Xx
Last weekend when we were on vacation I tried to explain to my wife what dysphoria felt like in an educational way. She knew some of the issues I had already. Her reaction was that I was vile and disgusting, she wanted a real man only for marriage and pulled away and began planning our divorce. Yes. All of that. The next day I told her I only told her that stuff because she had been asking what was bothering me. I wanted to share my problems. We talked some more and she agreed to see my gender therapist with me. She's been a little better since. We've gone through times in the past when she couldn't look at me. That was because I shaved off my mustache. We went six months and she couldn't say she loved me. These are rocky times. Emotional reactions are to be expected. If I was in a new relationship, I would tell them right away. They should know. Waiting only seems to make them feel betrayed.
Title: Re: So helpless
Post by: Kylie1 on October 20, 2015, 05:55:04 PM
Post by: Kylie1 on October 20, 2015, 05:55:04 PM
I totally agree on the time thing. My GF thinks it's sexy that I do feminine things. I don't know if I'm just going to live with the dysphoria or not. I'm thinking on it. I've lost so much I don't want to continue on that track.
Xx
Xx