Susan's Place Transgender Resources

I am having the most disturbance in my mind when I think of these two deeply contradicting elements with a parent. It's sickening me....
I LOVE my mother BUT I am sickened by and hate her ignorance towards the topic of (my) gender. Speaking of the topic is like a taboo and I have tried countless times. It's like if I am not going to be known for who I am what's the point of having any relationship within the family?

You can love people that you don't see or associate with. I love my aunt and uncle, but they told me they could not support my decision to transition. So now I don't see them anymore. It doesn't change how I feel about them. I just need positive and supportive people in my life. I don't think anyone should maintain a relationship with a negative person if they are otherwise able to leave.

Do I ever regret my decision to cut them out of my life? It's debatable. Now that we're getting close to the holidays I do find myself a little sad that I will be sitting out the events that they usually host. But if it comes down to living my life unapologetically or eating turkey for an afternoon...I can get my own turkey.

Some things, such as negative influences and people who are upsetting to interact with, do in the end need to be left behind.

I don't necessarily mean that you need to cut them out of your life completely, but they may need to be compartmentalized or kept at a distance. I've had to do the same with my own mother. It's not what I want but it's necessary. It's not even because of the trans issue but because she's always been a difficult (violent and alcoholic) person to exist with. Just a fact of life with some people that you have to go your own way from them.

And I agree - what's the point of living a lie? If you're going to live at all in this difficult life, you might as well be yourself in it.

Its up to you but here are a few resources that might be shown:

https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,195129.msg1740788.html#msg1740788
This is a letter from an accepting dad. So its from the view of a parent.
Parts of it might be printed and left with them to read later.
Some parents have the same restraints, like he talks about: did they cause it by an upbringing...etc...

https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,194946.msg1736596.html#msg1736596
There are brochures by reputable sources, for example the british NHS, showing being trans has biological connections.
Its explained with pictures. A brochure says explicitly for trans people, their families and health care staff.
If its biological its nobodys fault... and its not likely to be a phase...

Some people make a comparison with a twin... they will be like their male/female twin, with the same sense of humour...

and you might say you want to see a good gender therapist...
to help you along and support you...
you might ask at plannedparenthood or a lgbt place for counseling...
they also have email...
or look here:
https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,162888.msg1400316.html#msg1400316


hugs

Thank you for your replies but my mom is already an LGBT+ repulsed person and will disregard those information at first glance. I don't know what the source of her ignorance is considering she's not even religious. It's all thanks to the heteronormative binary way that this world is.
I swear I will never bring any gender related topic in front of her ever again. I am still sickened by a certain thing she told me today that she said 10 years ago. Her brain will not evolve and I have no where else to live but with them.

Quote from: makipu on October 17, 2015, 11:25:24 AM
Thank you for your replies but my mom is already an LGBT+ repulsed person and will disregard those information at first glance. I don't know what the source of her ignorance is considering she's not even religious. It's all thanks to the heteronormative binary way that this world is.
I swear I will never bring any gender related topic in front of her ever again. I am still sickened by a certain thing she told me today that she said 10 years ago. Her brain will not evolve and I have no where else to live but with them.

Have you looked at the letter ?
Its not from a lgbt person... its a parent... maybe parts of it might help...

Yes, I already read that letter  from another post actually. It's beautifully written but it won't work on her unfortunately.
It's so sad, I  am living with them and not talking to anyone in the house when this is what I already do in every public place.
I think I come to terms with the fact that her brain will not change the least bit just like the fact that my maleness will never change. 
I basically grew up learning that transgender = "->-bleeped-<-s and perverts" (these were her words) when one of her friend's child who turned out to be an MTF. What can I expect from her?
That was the last attempt because I am actually demolished.

Well I'd print parts of it, give it to her and tell her to read it entirely.
Its from another parent.

You might look for a supportive person, or a therapist.
They can support you and help you keep up mood.

There is also a chat on susans if you like to chat.