Susan's Place Transgender Resources

How do transgender guys feel about dating transgender girls?? Just curious :)

I would date a trans girl if I liked her, just as with anyone else.

I'm like a Kinsey 5, and I consider myself gay ('gay but stuff happens'), so the only reason I'd be dating a trans girl is if I didn't know she was a girl at the time we started dating. That being said, I'd definitely stay with her if she came out as trans and started transitioning (whatever that would mean for her) : )

Quote from: Khatru on October 20, 2015, 01:22:59 PM
I would date a trans girl if I liked her, just as with anyone else.

This.

I would date a cis guy or a trans guy. I don't judge.

If you can tell a good joke, have a heart and know how to have fun, yes, you're more than welcome in my book.

I'm dating a girl in the process of deciding whether she wants to transition/how far. I love her, really and truly, I just love her. No matter what she decides, I'll always love her.

Ok, thats great to know, thanks guys n gals.

Although as a trans girl its hard to date a cis guy, given that many are too shocked by it and would feel embarassed to explain your situation infront of their friends and family, or that they would begin to question their sexuality...dating becomes difficult. A lot of the time, trans guys are more passable than trans girls and so are able to mingle in the crowd more easily and never have to face this is an issue. There is still more of a stigma around trans females than there is around trans males, from my experience/observation, whereas when it comes to dating for trans guys, cis-girls are more willing to accept trans guys and date them.

On another level, from my perspective I may never be able to relate fully to a cis guy, whereas with a trans guy I think I could grow to appreciate them as a person much more, given that I know what they have gone through, as I have done the same (in the opposite sense).

I began to think about this and thought that dating a trans guy might make a lot of sense. I would feel abke to fully love someone if I liked them to begin with and they too, hopefully, could feel the same back. The trouble is, its wuite hard to find trans guys as many transition and move forward with their lives, whereas trans girls are always in need of a lot more support due to reasons mentioned above, and therefore at most meetup/community groups I have found there are rarely any trans guys to socialise with.

Someone ought to set up a dating site for this...

...and one last thing: ive read recently an article that many trans guys sexuality changes over the course of their transition. So, to begin with they likes girls (identifying as lesbian) and later becoming gay men.

Another question, I'd like to add to this thread, have any trans women felt the same? So, to begin with felt atttracted to cis guys, but later became more attracted to cis girls?

Quote from: FTMax on October 20, 2015, 02:10:39 PM
This.

What does "this" mean? And by the way, how do you get one of those time tickers on your profiel...

Quote from: kitten_lover on October 20, 2015, 03:37:25 PM

Quote from: FTMax on October 20, 2015, 02:10:39 PM
This.

What does "this" mean? And by the way, how do you get one of those time tickers on your profiel...

I was agreeing with the post I quoted above "this", saying that I'd date anyone if I liked them :)

You can make tickers here and paste the code into your signature on your forum profile:

http://alterna-tickers.com/ (http://alterna-tickers.com/)

Quote from: iKate on October 20, 2015, 03:01:36 PM
I would date a cis guy or a trans guy. I don't judge.

If you can tell a good joke, have a heart and know how to have fun, yes, you're more than welcome in my book.

+1  :)

If I wasn't done with relationships in general, I wouldn't have a problem with it. It's the person that counts, not the label. 

Quote from: T.K.G.W. on October 21, 2015, 11:35:45 AM
If I wasn't done with relationships in general, I wouldn't have a problem with it. It's the person that counts, not the label.

Well take your time...
its ok to need a period of healing...
but you probably have something to offer, so keep going...


hugs

So how does one go about meeting trans guys? I wouldn't mind dating a trans guy, and it might have a better chance of working out than with a cis guy, since he would understand what I've been through and would know I'm a true member of my gender. But I haven't actually ever come across a trans guy interested in dating.

Quote from: kitten_lover on October 20, 2015, 03:32:22 PM
Although as a trans girl its hard to date a cis guy, given that many are too shocked by it and would feel embarassed to explain your situation infront of their friends and family, or that they would begin to question their sexuality...dating becomes difficult. A lot of the time, trans guys are more passable than trans girls and so are able to mingle in the crowd more easily and never have to face this is an issue. There is still more of a stigma around trans females than there is around trans males, from my experience/observation, whereas when it comes to dating for trans guys, cis-girls are more willing to accept trans guys and date them.

What about transguys dating cis-men? You seem to have a strangely heteronormative opinion of transguys. What makes you think a cis-man dating a transitional transguy wouldn't question his sexuality? There's also the issue of being automatically ID'd as female because your partner male.

Quote from: suzifrommd on October 21, 2015, 12:01:06 PM
So how does one go about meeting trans guys? I wouldn't mind dating a trans guy, and it might have a better chance of working out than with a cis guy, since he would understand what I've been through and would know I'm a true member of my gender. But I haven't actually ever come across a trans guy interested in dating.

You and I are in exactly the same boat...

Quote from: kitten_lover on October 21, 2015, 01:04:43 PM
You and I are in exactly the same boat...

Have you looked on OKC and other places ?
With a few keywords ?

Lgbt places could be another opportunity...

Quote from: Laura_7 on October 21, 2015, 01:08:58 PM
Have you looked on OKC and other places ?
With a few keywords ?

Lgbt places could be another opportunity...

Yeh, I'm on OKC...hence my post here.

I'm not lesbian gay or bi, so LGBT places don't work for me.

Quote from: kitten_lover on October 21, 2015, 01:14:05 PM
Yeh, I'm on OKC...hence my post here.

I'm not lesbian gay or bi, so LGBT places don't work for me.

Well you could go to a few lgbt places anyways...
and look out for a nice trans man  :)

In my experience people are usually accepting.
It just might be necessary to fend off one or two lesbian oriented people  :)

If I was straight, I would definitely date a trans woman. But since I'm actually gay, I rather want guys. So I could date many kinds of people. It doesn't matter they are cis or not. As long I find them attractive and think they are nice, it's good.

Quote from: Peep on October 21, 2015, 12:39:14 PM
What about transguys dating cis-men? You seem to have a strangely heteronormative opinion of transguys. What makes you think a cis-man dating a transitional transguy wouldn't question his sexuality? There's also the issue of being automatically ID'd as female because your partner male.

I think you're being overly critical. Her question was originally posed regarding trans guys dating trans girls, implying a heterosexual relationship (regardless of how the parties each identify). She's not minimizing or denying the existence of gay transmen, it just wasn't the topic of discussion.

Quote from: suzifrommd on October 21, 2015, 12:01:06 PM
So how does one go about meeting trans guys? I wouldn't mind dating a trans guy, and it might have a better chance of working out than with a cis guy, since he would understand what I've been through and would know I'm a true member of my gender. But I haven't actually ever come across a trans guy interested in dating.

OkCupid is probably the best option as far as online dating goes. I think we could benefit from a trans-exclusive dating site, but I imagine it would be tough to put together for a lot of reasons - spam, stealth people, verification, etc.

Local meetup groups might be good just to get a feel for who is in the area. Support groups I've heard tend to be female-dominated spaces, so I'm not sure how effective that would be. I don't know if any exist for transfolks currently, but I know on some forums I'm on for other niche interests, they have local or regional boards so that people can talk about local events or group activities. Might be worth looking into.

Quote from: kitten_lover on October 19, 2015, 04:56:15 PM
How do transgender guys feel about dating transgender girls?? Just curious :)

From personal experience, don't do it. You're setting yourself and your boyfriend up for a painful ride.

Oh and this, " you can relate to each other better" stuff is nonsense. I used to think that. But no. And don't let that be the basis for your relationship either.

Quote from: Rainbow Dash on October 21, 2015, 02:27:09 PM
Oh and this, " you can relate to each other better" stuff is nonsense. I used to think that. But no. And don't let that be the basis for your relationship either.

Well I'd say it depends.

There are quite a few partnerships of trans men and women.
It might also depend on how you can work with your triggers...
if you can understand each other...
and if you can communicate about it...

but it can be something you have in common.  :)

I'm just telling you from my personal experience. All it got me was a broken heart that I still can't fix and memories of stupid fights that shouldn't have even happened. It overshadows the good memories I have of them.

Quote from: Rainbow Dash on October 21, 2015, 02:43:53 PM
I'm just telling you from my personal experience. All it got me was a broken heart that I still can't fix and memories of stupid fights that shouldn't have even happened. It overshadows the good memories I have of them.

I'm sorry.

Sometimes people trigger each other, or talk in a way the other one feels hurt by, or are otherwise not compatible...
maybe you can keep them in good memory nonetheless.


*hugs*

Quote from: Laura_7 on October 21, 2015, 01:27:58 PM
Well you could go to a few lgbt places anyways...
and look out for a nice trans man  :)

In my experience people are usually accepting.
It just might be necessary to fend off one or two lesbian oriented people  :)

Thanks, but as I was saying earlier on in the post, I find that very rarely do trans men feel the need to be supported through LGBT events. Most probably, because they can pass more easily and don't experience the same issues to the extent trans women do (to put this in perspective - before I get attacked - when was the last time you heard of a trans man being attacked as a result of hate crime...??).

Quote from: Sebby Michelango on October 21, 2015, 01:47:15 PM
If I was straight, I would definitely date a trans woman. But since I'm actually gay, I rather want guys. So I could date many kinds of people. It doesn't matter they are cis or not. As long I find them attractive and think they are nice, it's good.

That's really nice to know...I hope many more people in the world would have the same thinking as you x

Quote from: Rainbow Dash on October 21, 2015, 02:27:09 PM
Oh and this, " you can relate to each other better" stuff is nonsense. I used to think that. But no. And don't let that be the basis for your relationship either.

Interesting...curious to learn more if your'e willing to share more of your experience, of course if you're comfortable to.

In the UK there is a website called TVchix.com

It is mainly for the ->-bleeped-<- community, however you can setup a transgender profile there...although I believe they're the minority of users.

Has anyone had any experience of using this? Has it proved successful? I've heard there are a lot of UK based users on it, which is good for me since I live in London!

Would love to hear more from anyone who can share.

x thanks x

In the UK plenty of fish is also quite popular...

My first girlfriend was trans (this is before I came to terms with myself so I was presenting as a gay female) and it made no odds to me. I wouldn't hesitate to date a trans girl again because it didn't make any difference the first time.

I'm ftm... I'd date any gender, any sex, as long as they were kind, considerate decent people. I'm very open-minded.


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Rainbow Dash, sorry to hear that it didn't work out :(
Though, with relationships, fighting I think is normal and happens from time to time--but what would you say is particular about your trans-trans relationship that made it that much more difficult that any other type of relationship?

That being said, I've seen trans-trans relationships working out on YouTube... though I haven't seen any up close for that matter.

Still, I would take the plunge :3

JennaJaye, transmen get attacked quite a bit, in fact. I'm not saying we're just as vulnerable as you ladies are, but it does happen. And passing for us can be quite difficult as well.

I've seen you write a couple of times now that it is easier. I don't think that is true. And I don't think it is useful to make comparisons in this area regarding "who has it worse".

Everybody has their own pain, their own bad experiences. Lets not minimize that. It hurts.

Quote from: WorkingOnThomas on October 22, 2015, 02:23:16 AM
JennaJaye, transmen get attacked quite a bit, in fact. I'm not saying we're just as vulnerable as you ladies are, but it does happen. And passing for us can be quite difficult as well.

I've seen you write a couple of times now that it is easier. I don't think that is true. And I don't think it is useful to make comparisons in this area regarding "who has it worse".

Everybody has their own pain, their own bad experiences. Lets not minimize that. It hurts.

Ok...apolgies  :embarrassed:

No worries. :) Grass is always greener on the other side, etc. etc.  ...

Thomas

Some of the fights we had were really BS. Once,  I was accused of trying to change (X) because I suggested that they work out after he complained about his weight. If you're not happy with something you change it, right? He went off on me. I was in tears, crying in the bathroom.

To this day, I miss him i don't smile around other people like I did with him. He ended up hating me. He says he doesn't but all I get from him is silence. He said that I would get over it but I havent. God knows I've tried to. I don't even know if he is alive anymore.

That's why I say run for the hills!
It's just not worth the heartache.

Quote from: Rainbow Dash on October 24, 2015, 11:59:52 PM
Some of the fights we had were really BS. Once,  I was accused of trying to change (X) because I suggested that they work out after he complained about his weight. If you're not happy with something you change it, right? He went off on me. I was in tears, crying in the bathroom.

To this day, I miss him i don't smile around other people like I did with him. He ended up hating me. He says he doesn't but all I get from him is silence. He said that I would get over it but I havent. God knows I've tried to. I don't even know if he is alive anymore.

That's why I say run for the hills!
It's just not worth the heartache.

Well would be another contact be of advantage ?
Maybe they have changed... one way or another... and you can say goodbye this way, or make some kind of connection without falling in old habits.
Do you have a feeling you have changed too in the meantime ?

Quote from: iKate on October 20, 2015, 03:01:36 PM
If you can tell a good joke, have a heart and know how to have fun, yes, you're more than welcome in my book.

Loved this x So true!! the way to my heart is through my mind and soul.

I would date a trans woman as easily as I'd date a cis woman if I were single. They're both women. Doesn't matter to me. I fall in love with whoever I fall in love with. That's irrelevant.

Quote from: Laura_7 on October 25, 2015, 05:22:20 AM
Well would be another contact be of advantage ?
Maybe they have changed... one way or another... and you can say goodbye this way, or make some kind of connection without falling in old habits.
Do you have a feeling you have changed too in the meantime ?

Oh absolutely I've changed. More confidant, strong and even more independant. And somewhat of a recluse at times. I drive a Semi truck now. I dont want to get close to people ever again.

We're all just people. And I date people.

If I like a person (regardless of gender or orientation ), then I'm happy to date them.

When you like a person, nothing else should matter.

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Yea to that :)