Susan's Place Transgender Resources

The derogatory t word that a lot of really ignorant people use to shame us into silence. My transgender sisters see more of it than I do, but it's still something I put up with. I see a lot of people wanting to reclaim the word but - is it really worth it? For a lot of people, that word could bring back a lot of unpleasant memories they'd want to suppress.
I understand wanting to make a good thing from a bad thing, but imo there's only so far we can go with that. I think the t word should be left where it belongs - in history.
What about you? What's your thoughts on reclaiming the word, and why?

P.s. I hope people can understand what I'm talking about. I didn't want to use the word anywhere in case of triggers and such.


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I get the appeal of reclaiming words. It robs them of their hurtful power in some cases, and can turn them into something positive. The ultimate success story in this regard is "Queer" which was a slur until reclaimed, and now it acts as a unifying term for segments of the LGBTQ population.

At the same time, reclamation is difficult to do, and the process of reclaiming a word can drag a harmful brand across the skin of those it impacts. Is that harm really worth getting the word? I don't know. What I do know is that there are people who, before they were murdered, heard that word as the last thing they would ever hear. I can't use it knowing that...

Words only have power over you if you allow them to.

Case in point, I once heard a racial slur levelled at me but at the time I did not know it was a racial slur. I just shrugged at it and laughed. Later someone told me it was a slur and I thought... oh. Well, so what. I felt nothing before, am I going to let it bother me now, because it turned out some completely unimportant person called me a name?

The t word means nothing to me. If someone wants to use it against me, they're going to find it has no effect.

As for our kind reclaiming the word, fine by me. Context is important where words are used, I suppose. I have no problem being called gay or queer or even ->-bleeped-<-got by gay friends, because of context. I don't even mind it from non-gay friends. If it's used by fellow transpeople, I don't really care. They have a right to use it how they want, I think... since they've suffered by it, so long as they're not like a crazy person out to upset other transpeople with it. (Which I have seen happen).

For me personally it's just a word, and the key to empowerment is to be the master of how these things affect you, not to be told you are a thing and that you must be oppressed when you hear it. But I appreciate others may not feel the same, so I certainly do not throw the word around carelessly around others.

I don't see any need to "reclaim" the word. Using it is an extreme sign of disrespect.

Quote from: suzifrommd on October 22, 2015, 06:44:22 AM
I don't see any need to "reclaim" the word. Using it is an extreme sign of disrespect.

It's pretty much the ultimate victory you can win on the linguistic battlefield. I mean, we've already reclaimed 'queer' pretty much.

Quote from: Black Arrow on October 22, 2015, 09:42:15 AM
It's pretty much the ultimate victory you can win on the linguistic battlefield. I mean, we've already reclaimed 'queer' pretty much.

Personally, I think it's more important to stigmatize the hate that the "T" word often (but not always) represents.

BTW, as far as I know, the reclaimed "queer" is used slightly differently from the insult version.  It's been turned into a technical term.

When we use it, awesome. I use it now and then in context. When cis people use it, nope.

That's my opinion.

How to out yourself other than to tell your new/best/whatever friend/acquaintance/lover than you are trans? Yes, I hate that word too. I wish that I could just be known as <insert real name here> like everyone else. Should it be a privilege to have to out ourselves? To have to announce to the world "Hey look at me. I'm an odd duck!"

I truly hate the whole business. Now with that said. People have no idea what to call us. We sometimes can't agree within our own "ranks" because we really don't have a community. So, in honest frank discussions, anyone can say anything they want with me. I won't be hurt by any word they use to try and understand. And in the end, I plead: "If you can not accept me as a woman, then please don't regard me as a man. Just use my LEGAL name and we're good."

Cindi

Because I am kinda foul mouthed and enjoy a good expletive realese I do use it. I think too it helps me to overcome the negative associations I have with the word to use it. After I first heard it as a teen it actually oppressed me and kept me full of shame and fear for so long. It made primary the negative view of trans life and hid the positive majority experience.

I only utter it in the company of certain close friends and family though. Cis folk do not have permission. Ever!

Late in the day edit:I forgot to mention that I would never use the word to refer to someone else only to refer to myself. I won't put that word on other folks.

I don't see why Trailblazer should be a bad word.

I don't like it. It's a slur. I don't like the "reclamation" of the N word either but I am not African-American.

For me it depends which one  ;)

Transgender - No thanks love!! I'm female inside and always have been. I don't need to change that part.

Transsexual - Yes please lol!! I need to change a few external characteristics so that my morning make-up routine is a bit quicker. Plus all my trousers are skinny and I'm sick of granny knickers. Eugh!! Yes I feel that word truly describes my situation at the moment.

->-bleeped-<- - I don't use it personally. Should I get called it then I know I have to try harder. It's been said, but then again I've been called far worse in the past and it's never actually been paired with a physical assault so I'll go with it for the time being.

Trans Am - As an Essex girl I wouldn't drive anything that's not a Ford; so if you do know anyone who wants to give me a 427 Galaxie I'm listening. I'll also consider Sierra Cosworth's and RS Turbo's  :)

Quote from: suzifrommd on October 22, 2015, 06:44:22 AM
I don't see any need to "reclaim" the word. Using it is an extreme sign of disrespect.

Quote from: iKate on October 22, 2015, 01:17:19 PM
I don't like it. It's a slur. I don't like the "reclamation" of the N word either but I am not African-American.

Agree with these ladies. I see it as massively disrespectful and derogatory and would compare it to the N word. I wouldn't tell other transfolks they couldn't use it if that's how they wanted to self-identify, but I would get a little upset if it was directed at someone else.

Quote from: suzifrommd on October 22, 2015, 06:44:22 AM
I don't see any need to "reclaim" the word. Using it is an extreme sign of disrespect.

The point of reclaiming a word is to take the power away from it when it's used by people who are trying to be derogatory.

Using it IS disrespectful, but only if the connotations attached to the word are negative. By making an effort to reclaim it we bring it back and apply positive connotations to it whilst stigmatising anyone that try to use it as a slur against a person or the community.

Which is exactly what has happened with the 'N' word and sort of with 'queer', though that's been re-purposed somewhat at the same time.

Regardless, whilst the word is seen as derogatory currently, we're the only group who have the power to extinguish that by taking it back; just saying that it's a recognised slur that shouldn't be applied gives it the power to be used by those who want to put us down....they aren't going to care if it upsets people, that's the response they're looking for. But if it doesn't cause upset then what reason would they have to use it.

Which is the reason we do need to reclaim it and make it mean positive.

Quote from: iKate on October 22, 2015, 01:17:19 PM
I don't like it. It's a slur. I don't like the "reclamation" of the N word either but I am not African-American.

I'm glad you added that you're not black. I'm not either, and this is slightly OT, but I think the reclamation of racial slurs should be left to the people of the particular race it affects. I don't think I, as a white boy, have the right to comment on what people of colour do. I am more advantaged than them in privilege so may not see the whole picture. I choose to stay where my depths are on the topic of social justice.
It's the same thing for us trans* folk, really. I'd much prefer a trans person trying to explain why we should reclaim the "t" word than a cis person arguing why they have the right to use it.


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When I use it in private company to jokingly refer to myself it isn't in an attempt to reclaim it. I am more...expelling demons.

language is powerful and words can hurt.  I identify as transgender and queer when I am involved with presentations about transgender 101 and the use of "queer" and "->-bleeped-<-"often come up in the Q & A.  I suggest that these terms may be similar to the N word for people of color.  If a group of people use a term for and among themselves it obviously does not invite us all to chime in.

The only ->-bleeped-<- i am comfortable hearing about is connected to the engine of an automobile.

I don't mind the word itself. It is the context that matters. There are a lot of cisgender folk who have no idea that the word is a slur. I prefer to give them the benefit of the doubt as I have been in their place.

Not my word, not my place, not my dog in the fight.

Quote from: Kellam on October 22, 2015, 04:28:54 PM
When I use it in private company to jokingly refer to myself it isn't in an attempt to reclaim it. I am more...expelling demons.

I've used it in my journal when I've been angry at myself. I've called myself it, and regrettably other people. I realise how problematic that is now, and try to use other words.


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One day I will just not need to say it, that day fast aproacheth, yay verily!

I don't like it, I think it's an ugly word honestly. Not because of what it means, it just sounds bad.

A funny thing is that in skateboarding we use the word all the time, and it has nothing to do with trans folk. It's short for "transition," meaning the transition from horizontal to vertical, as in the transitions inside a ramp or a bowl.

As in, "this pool has super tight ->-bleeped-<-." (yep)
Or, "Crack an ollie up on the pillar, and catch it high in the ->-bleeped-<-."

Due to the awkwardness of it all, I only say "transition" these days. And my local renegade skatepark is filled with graffiti of "->-bleeped-<-" puns. It's kind of embarassing...

Well, I live in Brazil, and I think the closest word here would be "traveco", wich is a very offensive way to refer to ->-bleeped-<-s.

" ->-bleeped-<-" means nothing to me actually, but I don't think I would like being called that. Sounds offensive.

I don't really like it to be honest, since I've had that word used to insult me
but if anyone wants to reclaim it then that's their choice *shrugs*

I don't like it, and don't think it is an appropriate word to use ever.  I have made some trans advocates mad because I told them so.  It demeans all of us.  It cannot be rehabilitated. 

Quote from: Oliviah on October 23, 2015, 02:02:56 PM
I don't like it, and don't think it is an appropriate word to use ever.  I have made some trans advocates mad because I told them so.  It demeans all of us.  It cannot be rehabilitated.

It demeans all of us because people let it, that's the point! Without the connotations and emotional response that we attach to it, it's just a collection of letters like any other.

It can be rehabilitated, but only when it's not seen as a negative thing by the trans community....by being offended when someone uses it as a slur we give it the power to demean; if we're not offended, or if we can get to a point where it's used within the community in a positive light, then it loses all it's offensive power.

If someone calls me it I don't take offense; I agree with them, mention their perceived gender to them, then ask them why they felt the need to point it out:

"Yes, I'm trans, I can see you're a man, why did you feel the need to shout that at me?"

ALWAYS takes the wind out of their sails and reduces the chance they'll use it in a derogatory way again. If I'd have been offended, reacted emotionally or they'd got a rise out of me then it gives it more power in their head, and the heads of the people who see the interaction, to put someone down they don't understand in the futre, which adds to the problem in general.

Some words cannot be rehabilitated.   That word, The N word, and a few others are simply to entrenched has hate speech.  These words should not be used by any serious person.  Just like serious people don't use the N word.  Sure maybe flava flave used the N word, but I contend that any trans who uses the T word is just as silly looking and not serious.

Quote from: Hyperduck_23 on October 22, 2015, 02:35:14 PM
Which is exactly what has happened with the 'N' word and sort of with 'queer', though that's been re-purposed somewhat at the same time.

Go into a black neighborhood slinging that n word around and you'll find out quickly how unreclaimed that word is.

The T word we are speaking of is the same because it's used for the same purpose.  That is to dehumanize and mark someone as "an other".


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