Community Conversation => Transitioning => Coming out of the closet => Topic started by: Roxi on October 22, 2015, 01:53:30 PM Return to Full Version
Title: Came out to my mother
Post by: Roxi on October 22, 2015, 01:53:30 PM
Post by: Roxi on October 22, 2015, 01:53:30 PM
Sorry if the posts is a mess + Roxi is a combination of my first and last name. :-X
When I was 12 years old it all started, I started to like girl clothes, girl activities, etc. But I never showed it and always tried to be a normal boy. I managed to suppress most of my feelings till I was around 16 it started to slowly come back and it reached a point where I would dress up on a daily basis to feel a little better. Around this time I also found out about transgender and gender dysphoria. I've always been quiet and shy so telling something like this to anyone was near impossible for me.
I'm now 19 years old and reached a point where I could not handle it anymore and had to somehow tell someone. I was irritated and moody all day, and everything you said could set me off and make me extremely angry. Which led to a big fight with my stepfather a few weeks ago (Which is all good again), and I decided to just move to my dads place.
And for some reason the moment I left my moms house I had the urge to tell her, But I didn't have the guts to tell her in person about my gender dyspohria. So I decided to send her a message through WhatsApp (Lol... I know) but still I had troubles typing it down and pressing the send button so I just send her this "I want to tell you something but I'm too scared, I hope I can soon tell you." she got very worried and wanted me to just say it. I didn't tell her I just started giving little hints and hoped she would figure it out herself. At some point I got "Are you gay, if you're then please don't worry". I didn't really know how to reply because I don't know what my sexuality is at this point so I replied with "That's not it"
Then it was quiet for a few minutes and got back "Would you like to be a girl" at that point my feelings where all over the place and didn't know what to say because I was so scared. for some reason I just froze and couldn't reply. After 15 minutes of messages she switched subject (I guess she figured it out at that point). And we talked about other things.
The next day she asked me to just confirm it, so I did. She immediatly asked me "Why didn't you tell me earlier, How long have you been feeling this". we talked about it but nothing about how to proceed or anything. The next day I received a message from her "I made a appointment with the doctor so you can get a letter of recommendation, I'll join you but only if you want" (Where I live you need a letter of recommendation so the insurance covers the entire process) I was surprised because she did this for me without me knowing.
I have had 2 meetings with the doctor and she gave me the letter of recommendation, My mother send messages on a daily basis asking how I'm feeling and I'm waiting now to be called by the medical center for my first appointment. So the first step has been a success but that's just one family member :-\
When I was 12 years old it all started, I started to like girl clothes, girl activities, etc. But I never showed it and always tried to be a normal boy. I managed to suppress most of my feelings till I was around 16 it started to slowly come back and it reached a point where I would dress up on a daily basis to feel a little better. Around this time I also found out about transgender and gender dysphoria. I've always been quiet and shy so telling something like this to anyone was near impossible for me.
I'm now 19 years old and reached a point where I could not handle it anymore and had to somehow tell someone. I was irritated and moody all day, and everything you said could set me off and make me extremely angry. Which led to a big fight with my stepfather a few weeks ago (Which is all good again), and I decided to just move to my dads place.
And for some reason the moment I left my moms house I had the urge to tell her, But I didn't have the guts to tell her in person about my gender dyspohria. So I decided to send her a message through WhatsApp (Lol... I know) but still I had troubles typing it down and pressing the send button so I just send her this "I want to tell you something but I'm too scared, I hope I can soon tell you." she got very worried and wanted me to just say it. I didn't tell her I just started giving little hints and hoped she would figure it out herself. At some point I got "Are you gay, if you're then please don't worry". I didn't really know how to reply because I don't know what my sexuality is at this point so I replied with "That's not it"
Then it was quiet for a few minutes and got back "Would you like to be a girl" at that point my feelings where all over the place and didn't know what to say because I was so scared. for some reason I just froze and couldn't reply. After 15 minutes of messages she switched subject (I guess she figured it out at that point). And we talked about other things.
The next day she asked me to just confirm it, so I did. She immediatly asked me "Why didn't you tell me earlier, How long have you been feeling this". we talked about it but nothing about how to proceed or anything. The next day I received a message from her "I made a appointment with the doctor so you can get a letter of recommendation, I'll join you but only if you want" (Where I live you need a letter of recommendation so the insurance covers the entire process) I was surprised because she did this for me without me knowing.
I have had 2 meetings with the doctor and she gave me the letter of recommendation, My mother send messages on a daily basis asking how I'm feeling and I'm waiting now to be called by the medical center for my first appointment. So the first step has been a success but that's just one family member :-\
Title: Re: Came out to my mother
Post by: KristinaM on October 22, 2015, 03:43:49 PM
Post by: KristinaM on October 22, 2015, 03:43:49 PM
I am so very very happy for you. Your story actually brings tears to my eyes! I wish I could hug the both of you, lol. Your mom being so supportive of you is amazing and wonderful. Treasure what you have together with her, it is a rare and precious thing.
If this teaches you anything it's that honesty is the best policy, and don't be afraid to open up when it's important. Trust me, it gets easier down the line. This first step is the biggest hurdle, and now you're past it. :)
HUGS!!! Good luck to you on your journey, so proud of you.
If this teaches you anything it's that honesty is the best policy, and don't be afraid to open up when it's important. Trust me, it gets easier down the line. This first step is the biggest hurdle, and now you're past it. :)
HUGS!!! Good luck to you on your journey, so proud of you.
Title: Re: Came out to my mother
Post by: Asheylov on October 22, 2015, 07:51:54 PM
Post by: Asheylov on October 22, 2015, 07:51:54 PM
QuoteYour mom being so supportive of you is amazing and wonderful. Treasure what you have together with her, it is a rare and precious thing.
That is so true , my mum does not support it, she is still in shock, but iv decided to go ahead with my therapist , and start HRT, at least my Grandmother is more supportive lol ;D
Title: Re: Came out to my mother
Post by: Brooke33 on October 24, 2015, 09:29:19 PM
Post by: Brooke33 on October 24, 2015, 09:29:19 PM
It's amazing to hear that not only was your mother attuned enough with your life to guess that quickly, but her support is amazing. I'm so happy for you Roxi :D
Title: Re: Came out to my mother
Post by: LizK on October 24, 2015, 10:05:38 PM
Post by: LizK on October 24, 2015, 10:05:38 PM
Fantastic, good on you...great result and great response from your mum...You must me a little more at ease knowing that your mum has your back? On wards and upwards...hopefully a good therapist will help you sort your feeling out and get you on the right track to a happier life.
Sarah T
Sarah T
Title: Re: Came out to my mother
Post by: Roxi on October 25, 2015, 01:44:57 PM
Post by: Roxi on October 25, 2015, 01:44:57 PM
Quote from: KristinaM on October 22, 2015, 03:43:49 PMThanks! I still feel pretty bad though because it pretty much is a waiting game now, But it really helps that she supports me in my journey :)
I am so very very happy for you. Your story actually brings tears to my eyes! I wish I could hug the both of you, lol. Your mom being so supportive of you is amazing and wonderful. Treasure what you have together with her, it is a rare and precious thing.
If this teaches you anything it's that honesty is the best policy, and don't be afraid to open up when it's important. Trust me, it gets easier down the line. This first step is the biggest hurdle, and now you're past it. :)
HUGS!!! Good luck to you on your journey, so proud of you.
Quote from: Brooke33 on October 24, 2015, 09:29:19 PMI was pretty shocked how supportive she was, especially after reading a few coming outs with negative reactions. She even looked up how the whole process would go down and things like waiting times. :D
It's amazing to hear that not only was your mother attuned enough with your life to guess that quickly, but her support is amazing. I'm so happy for you Roxi :D
Quote from: sarahtokes on October 24, 2015, 10:05:38 PMYes it definatly feels better to have someone supporting me, I've seen the therapist twice now and she set me up with all the documents I need for the medical center. So the waiting game has begun.
Fantastic, good on you...great result and great response from your mum...You must me a little more at ease knowing that your mum has your back? On wards and upwards...hopefully a good therapist will help you sort your feeling out and get you on the right track to a happier life.
Sarah T