Susan's Place Transgender Resources

Don't give me "nothing is wrong with you" or "they are just jerks" because it doesn't help me any and obviously isn't true. I have been rejected by every single person I've told about me liking or loving them, three close friends, my best friend, a fellow trans. It never ends. Everyone always rejects me and it seems that the whole world hates me and at this point I'm ready to 'swing' rather than keep trying. What is wrong with me and how do I fix it?

What is wrong with you is you were born with a birth defect that isn't visible to others. As the result they refuse to believe that there is anything wrong with you other than an over active imagination. There is only one treatment and I am sure you are already aware of what it is. I am very much like you in that treatment wasn't available in the United States when I discovered what I was and I had to wait until I was able to earn a living before I could come out and start my transition. I know exactly how you are feeling and hurting but I don't see any easy way to solve the problem unless we can get your parents on board with the solution. You have to become very adult as the decisions you make will determine the remainder of your life. It appears about your only option will be to get a good education so you can transition free of your parents. It's not an easy decision to make but it's the best option I have.

Yeah. I thought I was wasting my time posting this.

History is littered with case where one person has a view different than everybody else. The different view was latter proven to be the correct view and everybody else was wrong. It's not easy being the one and I know that it's a role you didn't chose, but you are the one who will need to stand against everybody else to find happiness. I am sorry I don't have anything more helpful.

I don't know if I am wasting MY time posting this, but let's try and see.

Most people (I was tempted to write "all") want to get something pleasant and positive for themselves out of their relationships.

When we are forced to confront the issues around our gender identity, there is a phase where we are so overwhelmed with the magnitude of everything involved that it is hard for us to focus on anything else, and it is also hard to avoid bringing the topics that are important to us to the center of each and every conversation and discussion we have. The phase I am talking about can last for years.

To cis people our struggle is incomprehensible, they do not feel the same urgency to discuss these things as we do, they do not feel our pain and fear.
We can tend to cling to them when we need love and support, and it can quickly become too much for them.
When we are insecure and feel depressed, we can appear negative and drain the happiness out of those whom we force ourselves upon. To protect themselves, they start avoiding these situations which are just too much for them.

You want to know how to fix this?

Be positive and always try to give something to the people with whom you are.
Do not try to take from them what you need, but wait until they give it to you freely. Love is given, not taken.
I don't say it is easy, but in my own little mind this is how it works.

*hugs*

I once had someone say to me they feel I have something to hide.

Well now that you know don't hide any more.
Just be you.
Be outgoing... nice... whatever...

This might help for others to feel the genuine you.

There might still be a feeling of not completely in the right body but it might help quite a lot.
People might relate better.

And see yourself with a benign eye. Give yourself a hug, and try to show some self confidence (within reason ).
People who come over as knowing themselves a bit, and showing it a bit exude some kind of self confidence, which others might like.

And it might take a bit of time... but you will find people you can click with.

You might also have a look at this:
  https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,195129.msg1758946.html#msg1758946

and there is also a chat on susans...