Susan's Place Transgender Resources

Just curious as to once you reach the place your happy with and consider post transition how will you view connection with the transgender community online or offline. For myself I'll probably always be online to some extent. I haven't quite figured out how far I'll take any involvement with the  broader community yet.

I'm not sure where I'll be come 6 months from now. I'd like to say that I'd be 'helpful', but I don't know if I could be an activist.

I'd like to say yes, I would, but again, I have absolutely no idea. To help those that are genuinely confused and that I am close to, absolutely. Those that I've met online, to share what I've discovered of myself is always nice to do. Extending beyond that might be pushing it for me.

On the most part I consider myself post transition now except for the fact SRS hasn't happened yet and at this point I'm moderately involved. Who knows what my involvement will be after SRS, but I don't imagine it changing. Hugs
Mariah

It's hard to say, since I am leaning towards not transitioning fully.  And, if I did transition, who knows how my attitudes towards socialization would be affected by transition? 

I know that i like the online forum format both for getting help myself and for helping others on subjects where I can.  I know that I would like to have friends in real life, and that having friends requires having something in common.  So, I am guessing that, if I were to tansition, I would want to remain somewhat connected to the community.

When I came out I was so crazy public it was ridiculous. I regretted it later.

It was in 2011 after GCS, that I started moving away from activism and/or publicly talking about it and really kind of moving on with my life.

Nowadays, I send money to organizations and frequent these forums sometimes but that's about it. I like my new life and I don't need to talk about or bring up being trans anymore. I'm happy having moved on to other things and I don't really get questioned about it anymore either.

I wouldn't say I'm deep stealth but I definitely don't want to hear it brought up in a conversation, esp if it's about me.

Post transition already, and, still a bit active on line, about the same locally.   I was planning to retire and become more involved.   Just got an offer I couldn't refuse - will be staying low key for another year at least.

I think a lot of our problems are due to the fact that voters and policy makers don't know who we are. The only fix for that is to make sure people are better educated about us, and that's only going to happen if we make ourselves visible.

I feel very much disconnected with the community these days.

I shared many of the struggles but for me most of it is over.

I don't struggle with "passing" anymore and my initial dysphoria is more or less gone. Now all I have is the feeling of being an infertile woman.

I really don't care for people to know I'm trans outside of the community. I feel that the bias and discrimination against me is greater if people know. I also have near universal acceptance with cis women and cis men who don't know. I would like to keep it that way.

I don't know if I will stick around and for how long but I feel that I may not for much longer.

My political leanings also don't match up with more vocal members of the community and I am often beaten down because of them... so I kind of feel alienated at times. People tell me that I should conform to a certain way of thinking because I am trans. If only they'd see the irony in this.

I've been/was part of a local offline community for over a year.  It's a big group, maybe 15 people, and meets are at least once a week. 

I went to every meetup until around 6 months into HRT.  That's when the mental changes became very drastic.  Among other things, like loss of libido, my mood towards socialising with transgender women became gradually less positive.  Seeing other trans women was a reminder that I was trans, and I started to live my life not thinking about that anymore.  I guess I wanted to get on with just being a woman.  And like Kate said, I didn't want random people to see me in the group and out me (we met in a public place).

I was kind of disheartened when I first joined the group, because there were few post-op post-transition mentors to offer advice.  They said those in the later stages "ascend" but I didn't understand why, and now I think I do.   It's sad, because I used to love being active in the community, and I like helping people.

Susan's is my involvement in the community, and every year or so I go to a local support group to say hi.

Kate,

Just because I and others don't voice our agreement with you position doesn't mean we don't agree with your way of thinking.  It is just that most of the time the dissidents are move vocal than us.

Everyone  has the rights to have their opinions in a proper way complying with the rules of Susans.  Now, if the reason that you have for leaving or lying low is to become stealth or that you have outgrown this community I can understand it.

Don't let others opinion influence your life. Otherwise you would still be in a closet and not transitioning and as happy as you are with your future.

Emily

Quote from: iKate on October 30, 2015, 10:03:37 AM
My political leanings also don't match up with more vocal members of the community and I am often beaten down because of them... so I kind of feel alienated at times. People tell me that I should conform to a certain way of thinking because I am trans. If only they'd see the irony in this.

My bond with trans people is that we are trans, and aside from that we may or may not share similar beliefs, attitudes, and interests. So I click with some trans people, and not with others, just like I click with some cis people, and not with others.

I've been in this forum on and off for ten years now. I suppose I've offered some help and support along the way.

I wanted to live life as a woman. I have, now for 75% of my adult life. I've been married to a man.. (I mean an abusive dirtbag of a man.) I'm sure that many women deal with similar issues. During our marriage and time together totaling 25 years, I remained stealth. Except here. I always used an avatar of an actress that I liked, or one taken before my surgery, or the one on my book cover. I look quite different now. My avatar pic is a selfie I took this month.  A few high school acquaintances somehow managed to find my book and make the connections. But they don't know my real name or where I live. I don't even know who they are. I just know from the reviews of the book on Amazon.

However, with that said, I did come out publicly on my FaceBook page a couple of weeks ago. And now all my friends and adopted family know. "HE" blackmailed me. No one does that to Cindi. Her squirrel knows better. I got out in front of it and announced it far and wide. Now I have nothing to hide. I have no fears of someone finding out. Frankly, my dear...

So, yes, I will be more active. I don't mind being a public face given the proper venue. I won't be doing Youtube videos or anything like that. But I'm not afraid any more of "my secret" getting out.

Cindi

Quote from: kittenpower on October 30, 2015, 01:20:46 PM
My bond with trans people is that we are trans, and aside from that we may or may not share similar beliefs, attitudes, and interests. So I click with some trans people, and not with others, just like I click with some cis people, and not with others.

I tell people to vote for their own best interests. That's how I vote. Aside from that, I only talk politics with close friends and even then it's a very soft discussion because I feel very strongly about some interests. Mostly... with my life. If someone won't recognize me as a real person and give me the same rights to exist as anyone else (and I am this way with all minorities) then they don't get my vote. So, from my little rant here, you can probably discern exactly how I do vote. And in terms of activism outside of our little nest here, by definition, it isn't on the far right. I like the United Kingdom in this sense. We have equal rights and healthcare under the law there whether you lean right or left.  If I lived in such a place, my political views might be different.

Cindi

I've been into outing myself lately. I'm having fun with it. I got on the web site for high schools and outed myself to all the guys that went to the all boys Catholic Prep School. It's fun, I can just see the faces when they see my picture.

I am a long way down the road (40+ years) but my only connection is on-line, hanging around here as a historian LOL! I am not generally "out" in 3D but I do defend any 'minority' group against closed-mindedness.

a curious side note, I've posted quite a few polls since being on Susan's and the way I arrange the questions in the poll is just randomly thinking the questions and writing down as they pop into my head. I've found that the members who vote in the polls produce very beautiful classical Bell Curves, I think it's quite interesting . I don't know if there is meaning to that , but it's pretty cool. I'd say 95% of the polls have produced beautiful classic Bell Curves. Sorry I just thought I'd mention it.

In this "Transitioning" state that I've been in, I have already been a somewhat open activist helping with the fight for TG rights in Maryland as well is participating in TDOR events. I can't really see me changing if/when I achieve "post" transition. There will be no hiding what I am and did so....

I didn't have much to do with the community after I initially transitioned a long time ago, but I feel more comfortable now. I'll stick around for the foreseeable future and help with what I can, and thanks to those who answered my vagina related questions.

I stay involved in the trans community for a few reasons:

1. As someone who's been transitioning for a long time and thus am basically at a point that a lot of people would consider the "end," where I'm more or less at the end of the social transition and hormonal changes, I can answer a lot of questions that people who are early in transition can't answer. I remember when I was earlier in transition one of the biggest frustrations was that there were so many people early-in-transition and so few voices of experience.

2. I have anxiety issues, which makes making friends in real life difficult due to me constantly being afraid of their judgment, so I tend to tense up and be super-scared of anyone clocking me or seeing me as an outsider. But in trans spaces I don't have those same anxiety issues, because instead of always being the ugliest girl in the room, and the only one who's so tall and large built, in trans spaces I'm just me. Because when I know I'm surrounded only by trans people and their allies, I'm obviously not worried about anyone judging me to be lesser or unworthy of being seen as a woman. I'm still working on this. But until such a time that my anxiety is under control, I need trans spaces to give me a social outlet where I can just relax, meet people, and feel normal.

3. I like being an advocate. And staying in trans spaces gives me a lot more examples, a lot more stories to tell, and a greater understanding of the needs of the entire community.

4. Perspective. It reminds me that the things that I want to do, and the way I'm feeling, is normal. And it lets me compare/contrast my desires with the desires of others who have gone through the same thing.

5. Because I have friends there, of course! :) And I love being with my friends!

So I hope I can offer some thoughts on this being pre-transition. I think a lot of the activism benefits those who are going through transition and those that transition and remain visibly trans. The reality is that those who are cis-passing have a little bit of protection against the anti-trans crowd (TERFs and religious zealots). Pre-transition, I probably come off as weirdly involved in trans discussions on social media (mostly twitter). None of my friends have said anything and I have some plausible deniability in that I have always been passionate about social liberty in general.

As for afterwards... I have plans up here in Maine. I plan on going back to school either after or during transition  to become an LCSW. I won't be a huge advocate in public but I like doing the work behind the scenes. I had an experience with a therapist when I was 17 and they were clearly not equipped to handle my trans issues. My goal is to help people like me so that no one has to go through what I have had to go through with gender dysphoria.

Quote from: KatelynBG on November 01, 2015, 11:00:41 AM
So I hope I can offer some thoughts on this being pre-transition. I think a lot of the activism benefits those who are going through transition and those that transition and remain visibly trans. The reality is that those who are cis-passing have a little bit of protection against the anti-trans crowd (TERFs and religious zealots). Pre-transition, I probably come off as weirdly involved in trans discussions on social media (mostly twitter). None of my friends have said anything and I have some plausible deniability in that I have always been passionate about social liberty in general.

As for afterwards... I have plans up here in Maine. I plan on going back to school either after or during transition  to become an LCSW. I won't be a huge advocate in public but I like doing the work behind the scenes. I had an experience with a therapist when I was 17 and they were clearly not equipped to handle my trans issues. My goal is to help people like me so that no one has to go through what I have had to go through with gender dysphoria.

There is also a great degree of "soft" anti Trans bigotry as well. People who secretly or not so secretly want to treat you as equal but separate.

This is like people who say they support gay rights but only civil unions and not marriage.

It's basically people who will never view you as a real woman but are polite to you.