Susan's Place Transgender Resources

I noticed the other forum was just about bathroom news so I'm posting my question here.

Yesterday I was out as my true self and everything was going good but then I had to use the bathroom. I didn't want to use the mens room and I didn't want to be put in handcuffs for using the womens restroom either ("So what are you in for?" "I had to pee") as a result I ended up going back home to use the bathroom. Any advice on how to use the public restroom when no family bathrooms are available?

Quote from: Christy76 on November 13, 2015, 08:52:00 AM
I noticed the other forum was just about bathroom news so I'm posting my question here.

Yesterday I was out as my true self and everything was going good but then I had to use the bathroom. I didn't want to use the mens room and I didn't want to be put in handcuffs for using the womens restroom either ("So what are you in for?" "I had to pee") as a result I ended up going back home to use the bathroom. Any advice on how to use the public restroom when no family bathrooms are available?

It isn't illegal to use the restroom

Quote from: Christy76 on November 13, 2015, 08:52:00 AM
I noticed the other forum was just about bathroom news so I'm posting my question here.

Yesterday I was out as my true self and everything was going good but then I had to use the bathroom. I didn't want to use the mens room and I didn't want to be put in handcuffs for using the womens restroom either ("So what are you in for?" "I had to pee") as a result I ended up going back home to use the bathroom. Any advice on how to use the public restroom when no family bathrooms are available?

I've been using the ladies' for years. Early on, there's no way I passed, but I never had a problem. Now and again someone would give me an angry stare but that was the worst.

That being said, be careful where you go. If you're in a bar where you think the management would not appreciate trans people, probably best to go somewhere else.

Quote from: Christy76 on November 13, 2015, 08:52:00 AM
I noticed the other forum was just about bathroom news so I'm posting my question here.

Yesterday I was out as my true self and everything was going good but then I had to use the bathroom. I didn't want to use the mens room and I didn't want to be put in handcuffs for using the womens restroom either ("So what are you in for?" "I had to pee") as a result I ended up going back home to use the bathroom. Any advice on how to use the public restroom when no family bathrooms are available?

Go in like you own the place, do your business (seated, please, no pee splash on the seats), wash your hands (with soap) and then leave.

Is there really any other way? :)

Quote from: suzifrommd on November 13, 2015, 09:35:13 AM
I've been using the ladies' for years. Early on, there's no way I passed, but I never had a problem. Now and again someone would give me an angry stare but that was the worst.

That being said, be careful where you go. If you're in a bar where you think the management would not appreciate trans people, probably best to go somewhere else.

Very good advice.

If you don't "pass" that doesn't preclude you from using the ladies. But it may not be wise if you don't really pass. Some places tend to be more hostile than others. Avoid those.

Although I'm not presenting as a female yet, this is a problem I'm already worrying about.  Idk how things are where you all are from but here there is a lot of conservatives that don't appreciate trans people in the men's restroom and there are serious legal consequences for using the female restroom (fines, prison time, and I've even heard being placed on the sex offender registry).  It's scary to know that even though the chances of being caught are slim, the stakes are super high.  Until I can legally change my sex to female I'll probably only be using family restrooms and/or going home.  Which is really going to be hard when I'm out about town with my toddlers.

QuoteAlthough I'm not presenting as a female yet, this is a problem I'm already worrying about.  Idk how things are where you all are from but here there is a lot of conservatives that don't appreciate trans people in the men's restroom and there are serious legal consequences for using the female restroom (fines, prison time, and I've even heard being placed on the sex offender registry). 

Yes, this is my fear too. Where I am living now is a lot better than where I was but there are still ultra conservatives out there. My fear is that should I use the womens room even if one of these conservatives knows I am not a threat they will still make a big deal out of it because they hate transpeople and now have the opportunity of harming one legally. If you get put on the sex offender registry forget about ever finding a job again. I have used the womens room before but I know that when I do I roll the dice so to speak.

On the other hand walking into the mens room wearing makeup, carrying my purse while in a skirt and a pair of flats is just asking for violence to be done against me. Perhaps one day the federal government will come up with a law that protects us. One can only hope.

if I'm not sure how the staff / bar / whoever will react I ask my waitress/waiter where the rest room is, they most often point me to the ladies :D
If they ever point me to the men's room I will pout and stand and pee... :(
hasn't happened yet :D

This type of problem can usually be remedied with a little advance planning. Many smaller businesses and public buildings have small restrooms that have locking doors-- for use by one person at a time. If you plan your trip so you'll have access to those, you can use either the men's or the ladies' and it won't matter to anyone.

Disabled toilets are your friend honey, I knew where every disabled bathroom within about 100 miles of my house until I felt comfy going in the ladies!

When you get more comfortable and experience, you'll start to
*Read* places differently. I have to do this sometimes but not as much as I do pass
well Pre-T. Normally I pay-attention to the location of the restrooms and, if not unisex
I choose mens as this is the gender with what I identify with and have been living
for 7 years full time. I say just go to the one you identify by. Just remember to
be confident in who you are and that's what you'll project. pay attention to your surroundings,
if you don't feel safe don't use it. Be patient as things meaning laws are changing and I hope
someday people will realize that we are no different then men in the men's room or ladies in the ladies room.
A question I have for you, in your state do they really arrest people for using the *Wrong* bathroom?
I mean I would think police have more important matters, then bugging law respecting people like that.

In NJ or NYC no.

Some places have Family Restrooms/Single Person Restrooms which you can use if you are not comfortable using the Ladies Room. Convenience Stores such as 7-11, Gas Stations, and small businesses tend to have single-person facilities. I have found family restrooms at some Targets and at least here in Florida - Turnpike Plazas, but not rest areas on I-95 for some reason.

There is no law that I'm aware of that says you cannot use the Ladies room. Our legislature thankfully killed a bill earlier this year that would have made it a crime to use the correct restroom. Also, some states, counties, or even cities have protections. While, Florida doesn't, the county I work in has LGBT protections.