Community Conversation => Transitioning => Topic started by: LizK on November 17, 2015, 03:07:49 PM Return to Full Version
Title: My Transition is finally starting to gain some momentum
Post by: LizK on November 17, 2015, 03:07:49 PM
Post by: LizK on November 17, 2015, 03:07:49 PM
As a number of you may know many months ago when I restarted my journey again my wife was having real difficulties seeing me in female presentation. She was Ok with me presenting more female but not in front of her...at the moment.., give her some time. The last few months have been nothing but a total frustration with my daughter having moved back in with us about the same time. I have been very careful and quite conservative about how I dress in front of them. My daughter has been a bit of a pain to have around as she forgets to let me know when and if she is coming home so my private time to experiment (the trade-off for not presenting in front of my wife) has been reduced to nothing. The agreement I had with my wife was that as I don't work I would have all the time I need to present and experiment how I wanted and would thus be able to move slowly with my wife into acceptance.
When I spoke to my wife about the upcoming dinner on Saturday night I had been examining the reason why I didn't want to go...because I really do. The drive in was causing me the biggest concern. So she is going to drive me and drop me at the door and pick me up afterwards. We also spent another 30 minutes discussing what I was going to wear,...she really got into it and gave me a critical eye on each selection at one point running off to find a pair of matching shoes for one of the outfits. When she couldn't find them we decided to buy new pair as I will get the wear out of them.
I spoke at length to my therapist about my utter frustration with the slow pace of my transition...My therapist suggested we could use Saturday night to draw a line in the sand to end me presenting at home as male. So apart from going out, I would be presenting as female at home. I suggested that I wouldn't have a hope in hell of getting that to fly. My daughters were showing a bit of impatience with the speed of my transition the other day...been talking the talk now time to walk the walk
Although my wife's attitude has changed since seeing a therapist and she is way more supporting and now when we talk about the future she always includes me having completed my transition. She has not indicated in any way that she is ready to move to the next level
So tonight when I got a chance to speak to my wife we discussed a number of things. Mainly the result of my therapist appointment...I put to her that it was time we went to the next level in presentation and that as of my outing on Saturday night I would begin presenting more authentically and not be wearing male clothes around the house but only when I have to go out...her response..."Okay. I don't know how I feel about it, but it is going to happen regardless so may as well jump in now"
I am thrilled beyond belief. I did not expect this to happen so quickly, but it would seem that the patience has paid off. My wife said to me tonight that she has a much better understanding. She understands that I have to do this and she also understands that this is not a choice. She can see plenty of potential benefits with my transition and has explained how she is grieving for the loss of the male person in the relationship. I think I need to be especially mindful of this over the next few weeks while we adjust The flip side for her though is it is not all bad news and she knows this.
I really do feel that my transition is starting to get a bit of traction...finally!!! now if only I could sort these pesky Drs out!!
Sarah T
When I spoke to my wife about the upcoming dinner on Saturday night I had been examining the reason why I didn't want to go...because I really do. The drive in was causing me the biggest concern. So she is going to drive me and drop me at the door and pick me up afterwards. We also spent another 30 minutes discussing what I was going to wear,...she really got into it and gave me a critical eye on each selection at one point running off to find a pair of matching shoes for one of the outfits. When she couldn't find them we decided to buy new pair as I will get the wear out of them.
I spoke at length to my therapist about my utter frustration with the slow pace of my transition...My therapist suggested we could use Saturday night to draw a line in the sand to end me presenting at home as male. So apart from going out, I would be presenting as female at home. I suggested that I wouldn't have a hope in hell of getting that to fly. My daughters were showing a bit of impatience with the speed of my transition the other day...been talking the talk now time to walk the walk
Although my wife's attitude has changed since seeing a therapist and she is way more supporting and now when we talk about the future she always includes me having completed my transition. She has not indicated in any way that she is ready to move to the next level
So tonight when I got a chance to speak to my wife we discussed a number of things. Mainly the result of my therapist appointment...I put to her that it was time we went to the next level in presentation and that as of my outing on Saturday night I would begin presenting more authentically and not be wearing male clothes around the house but only when I have to go out...her response..."Okay. I don't know how I feel about it, but it is going to happen regardless so may as well jump in now"
I am thrilled beyond belief. I did not expect this to happen so quickly, but it would seem that the patience has paid off. My wife said to me tonight that she has a much better understanding. She understands that I have to do this and she also understands that this is not a choice. She can see plenty of potential benefits with my transition and has explained how she is grieving for the loss of the male person in the relationship. I think I need to be especially mindful of this over the next few weeks while we adjust The flip side for her though is it is not all bad news and she knows this.
I really do feel that my transition is starting to get a bit of traction...finally!!! now if only I could sort these pesky Drs out!!
Sarah T