Susan's Place Transgender Resources

So we all know the goal of transition is for you to be happy with yourself, right?

Well yes and no.

In my case I transitioned because I wanted to be viewed as a woman, and actually as a lady by everyone including myself.

Being treated like a woman can be good or bad - you are treated as lesser in many cases or put up on some sort of pedestal in others.

In my case though, I like it when guys do little things like open doors for me and flirt with me. There is one guy who I see sometimes and he is flirting with me big time and I wouldn't be lying if I said he had a crush on me. I probably have one on him too but I can't really do anything about it right now because of my home and family situation.

But the feeling of being flirted with, and treated like a lady is absolutely intoxicating. My heart flutters when I think of the possibilities. At the same time I feel sad because I missed out on all of this when I was younger. I never had a good time dating and flirting as a guy. But as a woman? It is extremely natural to me.

Anyone else feel the same?

Yes... it's what my sex-drive has shifted to, and is certainly hormonally influenced. But... on the flip-side, being treated as a woman by men can certainly have it's downsides. I'm naturally submissive, especially when it comes to men, but lately it's been conflicting with my feminist side. And now being totally female-brained, hormonal influence and all, I get that indecisiveness and the conflicting feelings. I mean, that seems to be just how women are but ugh... my brain just goes in circles sometimes and it's exhausting. I used to talk to this guy, and the one thing of value he had to say was his explanation on male and female thinking. He said men have boxes for things; sex, food, sports, etc. It's all pretty simple. And then there's one empty box that they retreat to when they just need to zone out. I noticed this with my last boyfriend, he would sometimes just get this sort of blank stare and tune me out and focus on the tv or computer. Makes sense I suppose. And then with women, we just have everything jumbled together and it never stops.. no empty box to go into. I think that's a very good description. It's that kind of thinking though that makes me so conflicted about men, but I think many women go through that too. Not sure how to reconcile wanting to be dominated, taken care of, even degraded, with wanting to be an independent feminist woman who takes a lot of issues with men's treatment of women. No wonder they think we're crazy... >_>

I like it when guys look at me and smile

I guess that whole box thing does make sense as most males in my extended family as well as my brother seem to exacerbate this reflex to totally focus on certain thing or really zone out and do as such. I wasn't lucky to claim those said boxes in my life as a male, and it sorta makes sense that I always had a whirlwind mix match flurry running through my mind of everything going on, had went on as well as what will come up. Though with this in mind I was able to restrain the whirlwind to go into a meditative blank slate of nothingness on the exterior with a whirling dervish inside me. But as time goes on and I find more about myself in the past 6 months it has calmed down a lot, but I still get this whirling that I can't get away.

One thing i do know now is I do enjoy being treated as a female, girl, lady etc... As I am rather submissive in my own ways and want to be able to have the security of a male in my life.

Kate <3

That is awesome.  I'm a little mixed in my feelings about it.

I admit, reliably passing is not within my realm yet (actually, I have no clue; I could be passing all the time for all I know) but, when I do have moments where I know for sure I'm passing, I have had guys try to open the door for me or just get "the eye" from some random dude.

I think I'm afraid to enjoy those moments.  It's like I don't want to fall into the cycle of perpetuating the gender roles into which women have fallen for the last few decades but, at the same time, it feels so affirming.  I want to like the doors being opened for me and the occasional flirty look but I'm still sort of weirded out by it.  Plus, I'm never sure if they are just nice and trying to make the transwoman feel good or if they really see me as a woman.  When a redneckish type of guy holds the door open, it actually means more because I'm pretty confident he wouldn't do that if he knew I was a transwoman.

Anyway, thanks for making us think about this.  It's fun to investigate our feelings as we go along.

Enjoy the moment Ikate, when guy doing some gentleman things for you it feel good. I call the "Pink World" moment.

I also love been treated like a lady. I love it when a man opens a door for me or just lets me in first.

It kinda love it when a man flirts with me and yes sometimes i flirt back. But I cant do that these days as my boyfriend will not be impressed.

Sometimes I walk past a guy in the street and I know he is checking me out... love it.. I love to wear low cut tops that show off my D cup cleavage, and I love wearing skirts that are above the knee. The boys love it.. and yes I do use my feminine charms to get my way and special service in shops. In my single days my cleavage got me quite a few free drinks.

Or when a kid of a hottie made a mistake of calling you their mommy - yes that's so re-affirming :)
The daddy was so dreamy. I was about to tell the kid, yes I am your mommy :D

You will get used to it and you will expect much more  ;)  Your comment makes me remember my bartending days for extra income when I was on my own for the first time in my life.  Turned into my full time job because of the great money you can make.

Hmm im still quite 'new' to this but to me is a personal thing. But i think that i am really going to enjoy having someone offering to change a flat tyre for me or holding the lift door open so i dont trip and fall (i shall master the art of walking in stilettos someday. I shall stick to flat sandals for now [emoji23])


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***stares at stars***

... my dream ::)

to be asked out, treated awesome and showered with attention
great makeout session, best sex ever.....

then he leaves!

Me? I'm a flats and jeans kinda gal. I don't really like heels but I'll wear them from time to time

Now I sit either side of the fence in this one; I'm a professional and I received exactly the same kind of training and education my male counterparts did. If anyone offers to do something for me they wouldn't do for one of the male members of staff it really gets my goat; I'm no less capable because of my gender. If I'm struggling because I'm not strong enough or I can't reach because I'm a short arse then that's different. I'm stern in my job though and everybody in my classes knows not to mess with me.

When it comes to having doors opened for me and compliments on my outfit/makeup/hair then yeah, love it :)

Changing tyres and things, don't go there. I have a degree in Engineereing and I used to design aeroplane parts. I can handle changing a wheel without breaking a nail thanks.

I subscribe to the male brain box theory; something I've managed to retain in part. My brain is made from mush but I do have the blank box though to run away into. Actually on second thoughts maybe I'm just thick :P xx

Well now I gone and dunnit. Out of the blue this guy asked me out. I kinda figured it was coming but he was pretty bold with it. I dunno, maybe I'll go out on a date with him. Yes, he knows I'm Trans. Says he doesn't care. He's kinda cute.

Deep down though I still feel guilty being married (he knows that too).

But he does treat me like a lady.

I've always loved the role of being submissive and being treated as the lady role. It's kind of bad but I hate holding doors for people. But I think it's so sexy when guys hold doors, pull out your chair etc etc etc lol. I feel like when they do it I like it so much because it's like half of them is taking charge and control and the other half is being sweet and polite. As far as the sexual harassment goes, I haven't faced anything extreme like that and feel sorry for girls that get harassed especially by the same guy over and over. But as far as guys you don't know saying some creepy comment as you walk by I don't mind I just take it as a compliment and keep it moving! There is a different from being creepy and actually trying to get your attention. I think it's sexy when a guy isn't afraid to come up to me when I'm out bevause it shows he's confident and brave, a lot of men are scared to approach women.

Honestly I don't know what guys see in me.

I don't get an endless barrage of penis pics on facebook.
I do get friend requests from random men, who try to chat me up.
In person I sometimes get drinks bought for me at bars, but unless it comes direct from the bartender I refuse (don't want to be drugged). I usually only go to places I know and trust anyway. Guys will come over and chat and stuff.
I may get a whistle once in a while, but it's not a constant steady stream. I do get men trying to talk to me, "helllo miss, have a nice day."

I guess either I'm not all that attractive or because I look like I can kick their ass. LOL.

Don't take it personal. Even if a guy is into you no matter who you are for some reason the guy will never try to approach you in real life some guys are just scared to do that or feel like they are bothering you.

Quote from: Nattiedoll on November 19, 2015, 01:12:28 PM
Don't take it personal. Even if a guy is into you no matter who you are for some reason the guy will never try to approach you in real life some guys are just scared to do that or feel like they are bothering you.

Yeeeah there is definitely a difference between getting hit on online and interacting with guys in person and you have to keep that difference in mind, or you're gonna get all bummed out, lol. I get tons of attention online but in real life guys are more reserved (which should be seen as a good thing!) and they'll be less likely to approach me. But, if I happen to get into a conversation or something, if they find an in, then their interest is a lot more noticeable. Otherwise it's just the sideways stares as you walk by or that feeling like you have a target on your chest and butt. xD

This is increasing for me and i appreciate it so much. Just being addressed properly, having the door held etc is so wonderful. I was on a trip where i got hit on my an older and single man. I'm taken, but he was polite and nice about it.

I do worry and am guilty that such thing perpetuate stereotypes and traditions that are not entirely good though. THat is why for me it truly is a guilty pleasure.

So true Ashley, guys are more reserved in real life whether they like you or not! I kind of wish that was different tho, I wish guys would come right up to me if they were interested. If I'm out during the day and I see a guy I like, I don't approach him just because I like guys to approach me instead lol but why can't they just not give a damn and just atleast say hi? It's so strange because online guys have no chill with what they say to me and then in real life they will keep their interest a secret.

Quote from: iKate on November 18, 2015, 09:51:11 PM
Yes, he knows I'm Trans. Says he doesn't care.

I've known many guys who said they didn't care. I have yet to meet one who was telling the truth.

Quote from: Juliett on November 20, 2015, 03:40:03 AM
I've known many guys who said they didn't care. I have yet to meet one who was telling the truth.

Sounds like you need to meet more and different guys. There are many out there that legitimately don't care. Not everyone has an opinion on us one way or another and they remain open-minded as a result. And I think in a lot of cases attraction takes precedence over genitalia or orientation anyway.

Quote from: Ashey on November 19, 2015, 06:28:46 PM
Yeeeah there is definitely a difference between getting hit on online and interacting with guys in person and you have to keep that difference in mind, or you're gonna get all bummed out, lol. I get tons of attention online but in real life guys are more reserved (which should be seen as a good thing!) and they'll be less likely to approach me. But, if I happen to get into a conversation or something, if they find an in, then their interest is a lot more noticeable. Otherwise it's just the sideways stares as you walk by or that feeling like you have a target on your chest and butt. xD

What I was saying is that the opposite happens. I get tons of attention IRL but online hardly anything.

Quote from: Juliett on November 20, 2015, 03:40:03 AM
I've known many guys who said they didn't care. I have yet to meet one who was telling the truth.

True dat. I'm not really ready for dating now anyway.

Quote from: iKate on November 20, 2015, 04:43:15 AM
What I was saying is that the opposite happens. I get tons of attention IRL but online hardly anything.

That's interesting. I suppose the differences could just be how we interact with people. I'm probably a lot more social online. In person I don't have any problems talking to people but I'm a bit more reserved and wary, especially around men.

Quote from: Ashey on November 20, 2015, 05:15:25 AM
That's interesting. I suppose the differences could just be how we interact with people. I'm probably a lot more social online. In person I don't have any problems talking to people but I'm a bit more reserved and wary, especially around men.

I'm very outgoing plus I pretty much hang with any crowd.

I love being flirted with.  I get tons of gross attention online.  Dick picks galore.  I have had drink bought for me before but I didn't go talk to the guy.  Recently a guy approached me.  That was really fun. 

Quote from: iKate on November 17, 2015, 09:07:30 PM
But the feeling of being flirted with, and treated like a lady is absolutely intoxicating. My heart flutters when I think of the possibilities. At the same time I feel sad because I missed out on all of this when I was younger. I never had a good time dating and flirting as a guy. But as a woman? It is extremely natural to me.

Anyone else feel the same?

Completely. It can be a good thing and yet a scary thing too. Esp in the city, downtown, random guys making comments/flirting....even after 6 years I am still uncomfortable about it in the moment and then later on I kinda laugh about it or feel good that it happened.

Quote from: Oliviah on November 20, 2015, 09:23:21 AM
I love being flirted with.  I get tons of gross attention online.  Dick picks galore.  I have had drink bought for me before but I didn't go talk to the guy.  Recently a guy approached me.  That was really fun.

I don't get any dick pics at all. I get friend requests and chats, usually from guys and they are shockingly quite polite.

I do have my privacy settings turned up a bit though.

I never got a 'd pic' in my inbox yet. I think I am going to vomit if ever do. Fortunately I try not to expose myself to mediums where that could happen. But this is because I am married and not looking, probably.

Most of people actually adress me super politely and with a lot of respect.

I've never experienced being approached by any random guy or getting friend request on Facebook. I probably look unapproachable or just couldn't be bothered aura. Not that I would like to get some pics but it is interesting how we occur to people.

I admire the ladies here that are being approached and being asked out - that must be an awesome experience.

Stay beautiful!

April

When I get approached online it's usually a dating app. I've never gotten a Facebook request but I have gotten a few guys on Instagram. Facebook isn't really the place to get hit on because most of the guys are reserved on there. I might get approached a lot because of the apps I sign up for. It's not any crazy app lol just normal dating ones. I learned guys always choose a time and place to approach a girl. I've gotten dick pics and nudes but I noticed some of them the guy hides his face. I don't get why they think it's ok to send a penis picture and expect you to have sex when you haven't even seen their face. I have tinder that's where I get the most attention because guys get to let their man whore side out. They don't care that I'm trans but when I tell them most of them just want sex, not sure if they do this because I'm trans or if they would have asked anyways. Most of the guys don't treat you like a "lady" on there tho lol.

Oh, I don't do dating apps. I am not really dating anyway.

I went to lunch with him. He's kinda cool to hang with. Might even be boyfriend material. He's head over heels. But as they say, "it's complicated."