Susan's Place Transgender Resources

I'm a transman straight from a somewhat conservative country. I have a lot of transsexual friends here but none of them is gay.

Whenever there is a piece of foreign news about trans gay, there will be a lot of rude & ignorant comments (even from LGBTQ community) about the absurdity of it (you know, why makes thing more complicated?). Yet, they don't like women. Trans men straight don't want them. Gays want real dicks.

So I'm not sure whether trans gay are rare or trans gay from my country just choose to bury themselves in the dark deeper for the fear of being discriminated by their own people.

As far as I know gay trans men are very common! I am, my bf is. I have come across a lot of gay trans guys online.

When it comes to gay guys, yeah.. a lot of gay guys are going to be penis obsessed, especially the guys who only want sex, and young guys. But there will also be gay guys who are attracted to masculinity and not just genitals. Guys who are wanting something more serious.

Being trans and gay have nothing to do with one another. Sometimes it happens. It isn't rare. Your country is likely somewhat homophobic in in general with how you describe your situation, so it's likely repressed or talked about in secret.

Everyone's has their preferences. When it comes to sex everyone likes a different flavor and because trans sort of is its own thing you can't expect everyone to be attracted to you sexually if you don't have all the pieces that fit their sexuality. That includes other trans men who wouldn't be attracted to trans folk. Some people really focus on the genitals and others are attracted to solely the gender expression. To each their own. As long as they aren't being willfully ignorant or nasty about it when they say no.

I'm pansexual/ demi-sexual/ borderline asexual so I am an odd case. I would date and love any man woman or person between. I like what is between the ears.

I don't know if trans men are more or less likely to be gay. So I have nothing for you there.

I've noticed a higher percentage of trans men within the trans comunity than gay men within the cis comunity (is that even a thing?) Also, trans gay men seem more common than trans gay women. Also, rather than gay, a lot of guys seem to be either bisexual or pansexual.
This is only my experience, of course I didn't observe a group of people that was big enough.

I'm a pansexual/demisexual kind of guy too (hi wandering face,  it's nice to finally see someone like me :)). I would think it would be just as common as a cis man being gay as trans men are men. Although maybe being sexuality fluid might be more common in trans guys because we're more open to gender identity so more open to liking different genders.

Well Elis and Wandering Face we can make a little club because I see myself as such too :P But off-topic. See, there´s always more people like any kind than you expect.

I´ve also had the impression that there are a lot of gay trans men. Maybe being gay as a transman is more common because since they were born biologically female, there is less of a stigma attached? Just a thought though. Not really based on anything.

Here I am, not a trans man, butting in. My experience has always been that, the more stigmatized being gay (or trans) is, the more people manage to closet or even repress themselves. I repressed myself so well that I didn't even suspect until I was in my 50's. As things relax more people become open about it, if only with themselves. As to the "attracted to masculinity" thing, I can easily believe it as I'm attracted to femininity and actively unattracted to masculinity.

I think I'm actually becoming more gay if that helps at all

I've read quite a few books and studies on transmen and in the study samples, gay transmen are usually the minority of the case studies, suggesting they're not super common. But there do seem to be plenty of gay, bi and pan transmen online. Myself included.

Trans gays are common, from my understanding and experience. (I personally am a trans male pansexual, but I prefer men.)

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Once I started mixing with my friends that I formed friendships with post transition I have been rather surprised by how many cismales are in fact Gay or Bi. Many are in classic male/female relationships and both partners are very happy with the situation. I think, from my experience that gender diversity is far more common than is 'commonly' reported.

I don't think, from my experiences, that transgender men have a higher frequency of being Gay then cismales. They are just more open about it.

Of course my sample may be biased as the people I mix with socially don't give a damn about gender identity, they just like people who share similar social interests and moral principles of acceptance of people for who they are, not what they are. It is highly unlikely that anyone who had a hang up about their gender or sexuality would wish to maintain friendships with us; be they straight or Gay.

TKGW and Cindy expressed my thoughts pretty succinctly. The guys are definitely out there, though, and not too hard to find when you have access to a forum like this one. :D

I'm bi, myself. I used to be predominantly attracted to women, but I swear to god, I'm getting gayer.

Woohoo pansexuals for the win!

Anywho... I don't think that there are more gay trans people than cis either. The numbers are probably around the same percentage wise within those populations.
Don't take this as fact, I'm only speculating. We all probably are. But I still think most people are in fact straight, and that gay / bi / pan people are in the minority.

There is likely a sort of red car syndrome that happens when you start opening up about your sexuality. Or even when you come to terms with your gender. I had never met a trans person in my life until I was aware I was one. After you are aware you become hyper aware and seek out similar people or are attracted to similar social circles. Suddenly you see them everywhere.

Another pansexual man here.  I'm definitely homoromantic though, which is very common among the males in my family.   Even the straight ones.  I think Cindy is right, many people are a lot more fluid than you might expect.  It's been my experience that most women my age are bi or pansexual, and a good half of the men are in denial.

People who belong to a visible minority are often more open about memberships in other minorities as long as members of the visible minority don't look down on the other group. I learned this by observing the people with mental illnesses I worked with. Their minority is so stigmatized that belonging to any other is a small cherry on the sundae. For example, every trans person I met before I realized that I'm trans also had a mental illness diagnosis, and, no, I in no way associated one with the other. Sadly, some mental health workers do. I worked with an otherwise sweet woman, still a good friend, who thought being gay was a sign of illness, even in her daughter.

It's probably just as prevalent as it is in the greater population. Perhaps to a degree more, as we typically have fewer hangups about gender.

I know 5 transguys in real life. Two are straight, two are pansexual, and one is gay. I'm straight. So if that small sample is representative of the greater population, roughly 17% would be exclusively gay and 50% would be open to dating men.

If your country isn't as accepting of gay people, gay transguys are probably just not coming out.

I am bi with a strong preference toward men, so I usually just say I'm gay, just like I used to just say I was straight before transitioning.  I can look at women, think about it, and feel very strong sexual attraction, but with men it is more spontaneous, and when I have wet dreams they are always about men.  Strangely enough, I have always been a man myself in these dreams (as well as in my fantasies) which was one of the things that helped me figure out that I was trans since I was not all that butch of a person when it came to the ways I dressed or the hobbies I chose (though my attitude was always VERY masculine, hence people constantly assuming I was a lesbian then getting super confused when they saw me flirting with men). 

I have no clue what the numbers on gay trans men are, but I have met quite a few gay and bi trans men and women, so it wouldn't surprise me if the rate is higher than the rate for cis people.  If there are more gay trans people than cis people, and if I *had* to guess why (a lot "ifs" there), I would say it's probably because there are more straight than gay people and, therefore, a gay trans man (who started life as a straight female) is more statistically probable than a straight trans man (who started life as a gay female) in the technical sense.  Please excuse the lack of sensitive terminology and such there--I'm just trying to get a guess across, with the acknowledgement that it is 100% an idle guess and there is simply not enough scientific data on the subject to do anything other than make guesses based on assumptions.

Overall, though, I am SO much happier as a gay man than I was presenting as a straight woman.  Sure, there are plenty of gay guys out there who will spurn me for my lack of junk, but I just smile serenely and inform them that I understand--not everyone can handle the intense experience of bottoming to a guy who has vibrating nether parts the size of a horse.   ;D  Plus, I have met some pretty open minded gay men, too.  And it helps that I was a part of the BDSM community for many years and, therefore, don't have the worries some people do about people only wanting to be with me because they fetishize trans people.  That sort of thing doesn't bother me in the least, because I have no problem with fetishes and kinks, so I don't have to spend time questioning whether a gay guy likes me as a man or likes me because I'm trans--I don't care as long as we are both getting enjoyment out of the experience.

Quote from: Peep on November 18, 2015, 04:31:26 PM
I think I'm actually becoming more gay if that helps at all

Oh, hey. So am I. |D

Yet I'm in a long term relationship with a woman. Apparently I swing both ways.
Life is funny.

Quote from: Tossu-sama on November 19, 2015, 10:57:49 PM
Oh, hey. So am I. |D

Yet I'm in a long term relationship with a woman. Apparently I swing both ways.
Life is funny.

Yeah I used to be bi, but i don't know if I'm less attracted to girls now because I'm in a committed relationship with a guy, and looking at girls feels weird, or if i've just naturally changed... i guess it doesn't really matter

Gay boy over here. I usually just say I'm queer to keep it simple, but I can only ever see myself being in a relationship with men (be it cis or trans/non-binary).

My ex-girlfriend has a trans son who is gay. I was curious, too, so I asked my gender therapist, and she said it's really pretty common for both trans men and trans woman to by gay. I read an article about a trans man who would only date other trans men. Me, there's a small part of me that has some attraction to men - more in a "being able to admire a handsome man" kinda way than in any sexual way. But I'm only sexually attracted to women. So, I've lived my adult life as a lesbian, but I guess that makes me - or will make me - a straight man. Which actually feels kind of strange... the thought of considering myself "straight" when I have worked so hard to become a part of a lesbian community that seems to barely exists in this conservative city I live in.

It's really common. I have a whole bunch of friends who are gay trans men.

I'm bi myself.