Community Conversation => Transitioning => Topic started by: Sspar on November 21, 2015, 10:06:59 AM Return to Full Version
Title: What do your kids call you ?
Post by: Sspar on November 21, 2015, 10:06:59 AM
Post by: Sspar on November 21, 2015, 10:06:59 AM
I am mtf.. and i have 3 kids..16,25,29..
My wife and kids can call me anything they want as long
as they use proper pronouns and can't use my old name..
mom seems inappropriate.. they still use dad but I hope
when the dust settles.. they will use a different name..
( They have been good and supportive.. I don't want to push
them too hard )
I sighn there cards and refer to my self as " Parent 2 "
I like the humor.. but there has to be a better answer..
My wife and kids can call me anything they want as long
as they use proper pronouns and can't use my old name..
mom seems inappropriate.. they still use dad but I hope
when the dust settles.. they will use a different name..
( They have been good and supportive.. I don't want to push
them too hard )
I sighn there cards and refer to my self as " Parent 2 "
I like the humor.. but there has to be a better answer..
Title: Re: What do your kids call you ?
Post by: Megan. on November 21, 2015, 04:16:31 PM
Post by: Megan. on November 21, 2015, 04:16:31 PM
I'd also love to hear any experience of this, one question my wife keeps asking me is what our two (4 and 2 years old) kids might call me if I transition.
Title: Re: What do your kids call you ?
Post by: Sspar on November 21, 2015, 07:22:53 PM
Post by: Sspar on November 21, 2015, 07:22:53 PM
I have seen other places were people will make up names..
I just haven't seen anything that feels right..
That's why I'm leaving it up to the family to do what they are comfortable with..
And i know habits are hard to kick.. but you think they would be embarrassed calling
me "Dad" in the middle of a store..( I'm living 100% of time, 70% passable )..
Fortunately.. it does not happen that often..
I just haven't seen anything that feels right..
That's why I'm leaving it up to the family to do what they are comfortable with..
And i know habits are hard to kick.. but you think they would be embarrassed calling
me "Dad" in the middle of a store..( I'm living 100% of time, 70% passable )..
Fortunately.. it does not happen that often..
Title: Re: What do your kids call you ?
Post by: Starfire on November 21, 2015, 11:53:03 PM
Post by: Starfire on November 21, 2015, 11:53:03 PM
Quote from: meganjames2 on November 21, 2015, 04:16:31 PM
I'd also love to hear any experience of this, one question my wife keeps asking me is what our two (4 and 2 years old) kids might call me if I transition.
Mine are 4 and 3 and they call me Ma-Pa and Mama (their mother is Mommy). I've heard of people using Maddy, their first name or a variation, etc. and older kids may want to help choose what name they use.
Title: Re: What do your kids call you ?
Post by: FluffyPunk on November 23, 2015, 01:21:32 AM
Post by: FluffyPunk on November 23, 2015, 01:21:32 AM
Don't know, they wont speak to mi animor. That's part of it too I guess. Doo bi doo... :'(
Title: Re: What do your kids call you ?
Post by: Jessie Ann on November 23, 2015, 01:31:54 AM
Post by: Jessie Ann on November 23, 2015, 01:31:54 AM
Privately my kids call me dad, because after all, I will always be their father. In public it would be a little weird for them to call me dad so we have settled on Dee or "D" which is short for dad. My kids are 29, 23, 21, 20 and 17. The one rule I've always had is that they don't get to call me by my first name. That was the rule before transition and it is still the rule.
Title: Re: What do your kids call you ?
Post by: LizK on November 23, 2015, 05:22:10 AM
Post by: LizK on November 23, 2015, 05:22:10 AM
I have had this discussion but reached no resolution...I am pre-everything and slowly moving forward in transition. I won't be called Mom because that belongs to their mother not me. They can call me Dad as long as they want, I have said to them once I am presenting female most of the time then I would expect them to show me the respect of using the correct pronouns but they can even call me Dad around home in that situation. In public...we will have to cross that bridge when we come to it. My Girls are 22 and 24. Respect is the key for me...as in respecting who I am and addressing me appropriately.
Sarah T
Sarah T
Title: Re: What do your kids call you ?
Post by: katrinaw on November 23, 2015, 05:30:37 AM
Post by: katrinaw on November 23, 2015, 05:30:37 AM
My kids (late 20's and two in thirties) they will refuse to call me anything other than Dad (I can understand that) but I also had to agree that my Grandkids will only see me as Poppy (Granddad) til they decide otherwise.
So I accept the conditions for now... once I decide to move into Fulltime (partly driven by work readiness) that will be...
...It will hurt, I thought I'd prepared myself, but as my wife does not want to be alone and trying hard to understand and very slowly accept, it would be very hard later on with kids and my wife, especially If she does fully accept me... how does that work with my kids and the grandkids. I can pick only one of my grandkids that would think it was cool me being Poppy as a female one ;D
Gotta laugh or I'd go insane... right ;)
Katy xx
So I accept the conditions for now... once I decide to move into Fulltime (partly driven by work readiness) that will be...
...It will hurt, I thought I'd prepared myself, but as my wife does not want to be alone and trying hard to understand and very slowly accept, it would be very hard later on with kids and my wife, especially If she does fully accept me... how does that work with my kids and the grandkids. I can pick only one of my grandkids that would think it was cool me being Poppy as a female one ;D
Gotta laugh or I'd go insane... right ;)
Katy xx
Title: Re: What do your kids call you ?
Post by: Sspar on November 23, 2015, 11:36:30 AM
Post by: Sspar on November 23, 2015, 11:36:30 AM
Life is kinda funny. The major items I thought would be impossible to overcome..
turned out to be almost a complete non issue.. ( awkward sometimes.. but still very doable )
The little things..like what your kids call you.. are turning out to be the hardest bits..
I like the "Dee" tho... it is a nice compromise of sorts..
turned out to be almost a complete non issue.. ( awkward sometimes.. but still very doable )
The little things..like what your kids call you.. are turning out to be the hardest bits..
I like the "Dee" tho... it is a nice compromise of sorts..
Title: Re: What do your kids call you ?
Post by: michelle82 on November 28, 2015, 06:31:59 AM
Post by: michelle82 on November 28, 2015, 06:31:59 AM
I have a 3 year old she calls me "Nana" now. I started my transition roughly a year ago when she was 2.
Title: Re: What do your kids call you ?
Post by: Lillian_b_tv on December 11, 2015, 12:42:23 AM
Post by: Lillian_b_tv on December 11, 2015, 12:42:23 AM
This has been so thing in my mind as of late as well. My son is almost 8 and our newborn is 1 month. My son and I get along great. We are very close and he is a sweet sensitive kid. I don't want to take the name mom. But dad won't feel right. My wife and I will talk to him at the start of the year around February about the changes coming. We don't want to burden him with the emotions of having a baby in the house and the holiday stuff coming up. Plus my 30th birthday is in February.
Title: Re: What do your kids call you ?
Post by: LauraJ on December 16, 2015, 04:05:49 AM
Post by: LauraJ on December 16, 2015, 04:05:49 AM
Due to me transitioning my wife and I have separated. She is very headstrong about our daughter not calling me mum. These posts have given me a few ideas about what she can call me instead of dad. Thanks all