Community Conversation => Transitioning => Coming out of the closet => Topic started by: AlexW on November 24, 2015, 08:47:36 PM Return to Full Version
Title: sister is being...obtuse?
Post by: AlexW on November 24, 2015, 08:47:36 PM
Post by: AlexW on November 24, 2015, 08:47:36 PM
So, I decided to come out to my sister a bit gradually, by starting with "I have gender issues".
She and I have discussed gender identity alot, because she knows a trans woman and I've been her
"GLBTQ+ 101"-person. I've explained so much, over years and years, about how sexuality and gender identity are two separate things.
Still; the first thing she says was "Well, yeah, I was always confused when we were kids and you talked about maybe marrying a man, it always seemed more natural that you would marry a woman." (Background: I am grey-ish sexual, bi-romantic with a strong preference for women, and she knows that.)
I just... she knows the difference, she knows gender identity isn't sexuality. We've discussed my binding and packing and male presentation.
I ended up just saying "No. No, that's sexuality, not gender identity, where my issues are." to which she responded with a shrug and changing the subject.
??? I don't know where to go from here. I mean, she just changed the subject to christmas presents, while were having a serious heart to heart. Does she just...not want to know?
She and I have discussed gender identity alot, because she knows a trans woman and I've been her
"GLBTQ+ 101"-person. I've explained so much, over years and years, about how sexuality and gender identity are two separate things.
Still; the first thing she says was "Well, yeah, I was always confused when we were kids and you talked about maybe marrying a man, it always seemed more natural that you would marry a woman." (Background: I am grey-ish sexual, bi-romantic with a strong preference for women, and she knows that.)
I just... she knows the difference, she knows gender identity isn't sexuality. We've discussed my binding and packing and male presentation.
I ended up just saying "No. No, that's sexuality, not gender identity, where my issues are." to which she responded with a shrug and changing the subject.
??? I don't know where to go from here. I mean, she just changed the subject to christmas presents, while were having a serious heart to heart. Does she just...not want to know?
Title: Re: sister is being...obtuse?
Post by: Mariah on November 24, 2015, 08:54:49 PM
Post by: Mariah on November 24, 2015, 08:54:49 PM
Alex, it takes time. It won't happen over night and despite her knowledge it can be still a bit of a shock and that will take her time to understand and come to terms. She needs time. You can continue trying to communicate where in regards to it, but know that as long as it is uncomfortable she may continue to change the subject. My advice is don't give up on her. Hugs
Mariah
Mariah
Title: Re: sister is being...obtuse?
Post by: AlexW on December 29, 2015, 07:20:08 PM
Post by: AlexW on December 29, 2015, 07:20:08 PM
Thanks Mariah.
I tried to bring it up several times over the holidays, somewhat obliquely to avoid upset, to same response.
So, I tried to be blunt. She completely and blatantly ignored the subject.
At least I know where I stand, I guess?
Happy Holidays.
I tried to bring it up several times over the holidays, somewhat obliquely to avoid upset, to same response.
So, I tried to be blunt. She completely and blatantly ignored the subject.
At least I know where I stand, I guess?
Happy Holidays.