Community Conversation => Transsexual talk => Topic started by: Nero on September 26, 2007, 06:05:39 PM Return to Full Version
Title: How would you feel if you had no idea when or if you could have HRT and surgery?
Post by: Nero on September 26, 2007, 06:05:39 PM
Post by: Nero on September 26, 2007, 06:05:39 PM
Good evening guys and dolls.
How would you feel if you couldn't have HRT and surgery and didn't know when you'd ever be able to do it or even IF you'd ever be able to do it? And you couldn't pass without HRT. And you're just stuck.
You have no control over your life, because you have no control over your body and when or IF it ever gets well.
How would you feel seriously?
Sappy, optimistic BS not appreciated. No 'tips' or 'advice' please. Just how YOU would feel.
How would you feel if you couldn't have HRT and surgery and didn't know when you'd ever be able to do it or even IF you'd ever be able to do it? And you couldn't pass without HRT. And you're just stuck.
You have no control over your life, because you have no control over your body and when or IF it ever gets well.
How would you feel seriously?
Sappy, optimistic BS not appreciated. No 'tips' or 'advice' please. Just how YOU would feel.
Title: Re: How would you feel if you had no idea when or if you could have HRT and surgery?
Post by: Sarah Louise on September 26, 2007, 06:08:16 PM
Post by: Sarah Louise on September 26, 2007, 06:08:16 PM
I would not like it. That is the long and short of it.
Sarah L.
Sarah L.
Title: Re: How would you feel if you had no idea when or if you could have HRT and surgery?
Post by: almost,angie on September 26, 2007, 07:38:30 PM
Post by: almost,angie on September 26, 2007, 07:38:30 PM
I would feel like I`m waiting to die. Or black , not living.
Title: Re: How would you feel if you had no idea when or if you could have HRT and surg
Post by: LostInTime on September 26, 2007, 07:50:16 PM
Post by: LostInTime on September 26, 2007, 07:50:16 PM
When I set out I told myself that if I could not be reasonably passable or denied HRT, I would not go down the path. Now though, after coming so far? I would never go back now, no matter what.
Title: Re: How would you feel if you had no idea when or if you could have HRT and surgery?
Post by: tinkerbell on September 26, 2007, 07:51:06 PM
Post by: tinkerbell on September 26, 2007, 07:51:06 PM
Quote from: Nero on September 26, 2007, 06:05:39 PM
Sappy, optimistic BS not appreciated. No 'tips' or 'advice' please. Just how YOU would feel.
Horrible!
tink :icon_chick:
Title: Re: How would you feel if you had no idea when or if you could have HRT and surg
Post by: LynnER on September 26, 2007, 07:52:13 PM
Post by: LynnER on September 26, 2007, 07:52:13 PM
When I was younger HRT was a mythical dream.... seemed totaly unobtainable... thank what ever powers that be for that small mirical of finding it...
GRS is friggan expensive, and I dont care what anyone says <this if theres a will theres a way BS is good for some but its about as true as thye tooth fairy or a working government thats fair to everyone> at this point its so far off into the future its driving me nuts... Im seriously considering contracting in iraq to fund it.... Thats how I feel...
if both were totaly unobtainable and so far off I couldnt see them in anything but my dreams... Honestly Id rather not say how Id feel or if Id feel at all....
GRS is friggan expensive, and I dont care what anyone says <this if theres a will theres a way BS is good for some but its about as true as thye tooth fairy or a working government thats fair to everyone> at this point its so far off into the future its driving me nuts... Im seriously considering contracting in iraq to fund it.... Thats how I feel...
if both were totaly unobtainable and so far off I couldnt see them in anything but my dreams... Honestly Id rather not say how Id feel or if Id feel at all....
Title: Re: How would you feel if you had no idea when or if you could have HRT and surgery?
Post by: Jessie_Heart on September 26, 2007, 07:52:48 PM
Post by: Jessie_Heart on September 26, 2007, 07:52:48 PM
I would feel as if my life were over! you wanted honesty
Title: Re: How would you feel if you had no idea when or if you could have HRT and surgery?
Post by: funnygrl on September 26, 2007, 08:57:58 PM
Post by: funnygrl on September 26, 2007, 08:57:58 PM
This will probably tick off "Nero"...but, ditto, what everyone else said!!!! ;D
Title: Re: How would you feel if you had no idea when or if you could have HRT and surgery?
Post by: shanetastic on September 26, 2007, 09:09:42 PM
Post by: shanetastic on September 26, 2007, 09:09:42 PM
It would feel pretty horrible, I don't know how I would deal with it to be honest.
Title: Re: How would you feel if you had no idea when or if you could have HRT and surg
Post by: Stormy on September 26, 2007, 10:52:45 PM
Post by: Stormy on September 26, 2007, 10:52:45 PM
Suicidal. Is that bleak enough for ya?
Stormy
Stormy
Title: Re: How would you feel if you had no idea when or if you could have HRT and surgery?
Post by: Nero on September 26, 2007, 11:36:19 PM
Post by: Nero on September 26, 2007, 11:36:19 PM
Thanks everyone. I feel a bit better knowing my feelings are somewhat normal for a TS in this situation. Can't thank you enough, I was afraid I was weak or something for feeling this hopeless.
Title: Re: How would you feel if you had no idea when or if you could have HRT and surgery?
Post by: taru on September 27, 2007, 01:42:41 AM
Post by: taru on September 27, 2007, 01:42:41 AM
Would probably try to get HRT through many means (health risks can be ignored as the alternative is suicide and there is always black market, sleeping with doctors etc).
As for SRS I could probably live without it (although not very happy) if having access to HRT and passing.
As for SRS I could probably live without it (although not very happy) if having access to HRT and passing.
Title: Re: How would you feel if you had no idea when or if you could have HRT and surgery?
Post by: Christo on September 27, 2007, 02:17:18 AM
Post by: Christo on September 27, 2007, 02:17:18 AM
#$%&*@ up :(
Title: Re: How would you feel if you had no idea when or if you could have HRT and surgery?
Post by: Jessie_Heart on September 27, 2007, 08:27:51 AM
Post by: Jessie_Heart on September 27, 2007, 08:27:51 AM
Quote from: Nero on September 26, 2007, 11:36:19 PM
Thanks everyone. I feel a bit better knowing my feelings are somewhat normal for a TS in this situation. Can't thank you enough, I was afraid I was weak or something for feeling this hopeless.
isn't it funny that for most of us we have went our entire lives being told we weren't "normal" and we have accepted that to the rest of the world we might never be considered "normal". but as long as we can find some level of normal amoungst ourselves we feel ok (to an extent) with how abnormal the rest of the world sees us for the moument anyway! Nero with the situation that you are going through if you were anything near weak you wouldn't have made it this far (I don't know if I could have!!) you have displayed more strength than I think I posses.
sorry I hope this didn't come off as sappy it is honestly how I feel!
Title: Re: How would you feel if you had no idea when or if you could have HRT and surg
Post by: Suzy on September 27, 2007, 09:21:53 AM
Post by: Suzy on September 27, 2007, 09:21:53 AM
How would I feel? Like I do now! It sucks big time.
However, I thought I could never be a candidate for HRT, like you, due to health reasons. While I am still there, over the last year the possibility has been increasing that I will be able to. Tests are coming out better. But it has taken an extreme amount of determination, medication, and reorganization of diet, exercise, schedule, etc. To call it a lifestyle change would be a gross understatement.
It is not phony optimism to say that I truly hope you can get better. It does happen!
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fganjataz.com%2F01smileys%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2FloopyBlonde-blinking.gif&hash=4545ddf8251cf9c32ae6074d56e48bc34a755857)Kristi
However, I thought I could never be a candidate for HRT, like you, due to health reasons. While I am still there, over the last year the possibility has been increasing that I will be able to. Tests are coming out better. But it has taken an extreme amount of determination, medication, and reorganization of diet, exercise, schedule, etc. To call it a lifestyle change would be a gross understatement.
It is not phony optimism to say that I truly hope you can get better. It does happen!
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fganjataz.com%2F01smileys%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2FloopyBlonde-blinking.gif&hash=4545ddf8251cf9c32ae6074d56e48bc34a755857)Kristi
Title: Re: How would you feel if you had no idea when or if you could have HRT and surg
Post by: Shana A on September 27, 2007, 09:39:44 AM
Post by: Shana A on September 27, 2007, 09:39:44 AM
My answer is that I'd feel exactly as I do now. For various reasons, I didn't proceed w/ HRT and so I live with being the person I am inside with a body that doesn't match. Sometimes it's really painful, and other times I somehow manage to deal with it. Who knows what will be next week, or next year??
zythyra
zythyra
Title: Re: How would you feel if you had no idea when or if you could have HRT and surg
Post by: Kimberly on September 27, 2007, 09:42:07 AM
Post by: Kimberly on September 27, 2007, 09:42:07 AM
Um, I would probably closet and wait till my Mother and Father die then blow my brains out. I.e. a return to the plan I had.
Title: Re: How would you feel if you had no idea when or if you could have HRT and surgery?
Post by: Berliegh on September 27, 2007, 10:20:36 AM
Post by: Berliegh on September 27, 2007, 10:20:36 AM
How would you feel if you couldn't have HRT and surgery and didn't know when you'd ever be able to do it or even IF you'd ever be able to do it? And you couldn't pass without HRT. And you're just stuck.
You have no control over your life, because you have no control over your body and when or IF it ever gets well.
How would you feel seriously?
That is my situation.....lack of finance, lack of support and lack of treatment or anyone willing to give me a referral for GRS, despite being full time RLT for many years.....my original gender dysphoria diagnosis was back in October 1984...
You try living 20 years in limbo...
You have no control over your life, because you have no control over your body and when or IF it ever gets well.
How would you feel seriously?
That is my situation.....lack of finance, lack of support and lack of treatment or anyone willing to give me a referral for GRS, despite being full time RLT for many years.....my original gender dysphoria diagnosis was back in October 1984...
You try living 20 years in limbo...
Title: Re: How would you feel if you had no idea when or if you could have HRT and surgery?
Post by: Yvonne on September 27, 2007, 11:12:01 PM
Post by: Yvonne on September 27, 2007, 11:12:01 PM
I'd feel trapped & hopeless.
Title: Re: How would you feel if you had no idea when or if you could have HRT and surgery?
Post by: Berliegh on September 30, 2007, 04:26:22 AM
Post by: Berliegh on September 30, 2007, 04:26:22 AM
Quote from: Yvonne on September 27, 2007, 11:12:01 PM
I'd feel trapped & hopeless.
I do....
Title: Re: How would you feel if you had no idea when or if you could have HRT and surg
Post by: ketti on September 30, 2007, 07:38:53 AM
Post by: ketti on September 30, 2007, 07:38:53 AM
Step one - self-castration (mostly to get down testosterone production).
Then, if i didn't die of blood loss or something else during step one, i would probably kill my self during one of my blackest periods. I know because i have been there a lot, and the only thing keeping me alive was the promise that i would get HRT if i only pretended to be sane. :)
Then, if i didn't die of blood loss or something else during step one, i would probably kill my self during one of my blackest periods. I know because i have been there a lot, and the only thing keeping me alive was the promise that i would get HRT if i only pretended to be sane. :)
Title: Re: How would you feel if you had no idea when or if you could have HRT and surg
Post by: Berliegh on September 30, 2007, 12:55:54 PM
Post by: Berliegh on September 30, 2007, 12:55:54 PM
Quote from: ketti on September 30, 2007, 07:38:53 AM
Step one - self-castration (mostly to get down testosterone production).
Then, if i didn't die of blood loss or something else during step one, i would probably kill my self during one of my blackest periods. I know because i have been there a lot, and the only thing keeping me alive was the promise that i would get HRT if i only pretended to be sane. :)
I know someone who did that and nearly died.....not a good idea.....anti - androgens is a better idea..
Title: Re: How would you feel if you had no idea when or if you could have HRT and surg
Post by: Ms Bev on October 02, 2007, 10:12:17 AM
Post by: Ms Bev on October 02, 2007, 10:12:17 AM
I feel trapped sometimes. I'm the type that can't stand being trapped, and will do any desperate thing to get out. I would do the hrt. If no one would give it to me, I would get it myself. But, that's me.
*discaimer* Don't try this at home, kids.
*discaimer* Don't try this at home, kids.
Title: Re: How would you feel if you had no idea when or if you could have HRT and surg
Post by: melissa90299 on October 03, 2007, 10:03:27 AM
Post by: melissa90299 on October 03, 2007, 10:03:27 AM
When I was younger, SRS was not available and I didn't even know about HRT, so I went into denial. I guess denial serves a purpose as it kept me from becoming suicidal over my GID.
Title: Re: How would you feel if you had no idea when or if you could have HRT and surg
Post by: Berliegh on October 04, 2007, 03:46:07 AM
Post by: Berliegh on October 04, 2007, 03:46:07 AM
Quote from: melissa90299 on October 03, 2007, 10:03:27 AM
When I was younger, SRS was not available and I didn't even know about HRT, so I went into denial. I guess denial serves a purpose as it kept me from becoming suicidal over my GID.
Denial is a very hard thing to do and I don't know how folk do it........when I was a lot younger I didn't know how to get HRT either but I used to steal or take girlfriends birth control pills.....
I don't remember how depressed I was becoming but it was gradually building up and getting worse. By 2000 I was getting to a very high level of depression but not suicidal.
Title: Re: How would you feel if you had no idea when or if you could have HRT and surgery?
Post by: Dorothy on October 04, 2007, 06:03:20 AM
Post by: Dorothy on October 04, 2007, 06:03:20 AM
I'd feel very depressed & maybe even suicidal
Title: Re: How would you feel if you had no idea when or if you could have HRT and surg
Post by: Kate on October 04, 2007, 12:36:12 PM
Post by: Kate on October 04, 2007, 12:36:12 PM
Quote from: Pia on October 04, 2007, 06:03:20 AM
I'd feel very depressed & maybe even suicidal
Me too.
BEEN there even when I couldn't get an HRT letter at 3 months... 6 months... 9 months...
And had no idea if or when it was coming, as all my therapist ever said to me was, "I'll just FEEL it when you're ready."
~Kate~
Title: Re: How would you feel if you had no idea when or if you could have HRT and surgery?
Post by: Berliegh on October 04, 2007, 05:55:35 PM
Post by: Berliegh on October 04, 2007, 05:55:35 PM
Quote from: Pia on October 04, 2007, 06:03:20 AM
I'd feel very depressed & maybe even suicidal
What really to got me was the NHS psichiatrists in London, U.K denying me a referral for GRS without providing an explanation. I have complied with both the HBSOC and all protocols and have completed 5 years RLT. I have not been given an explanation as to why this was refused even with me asking them many times........
Do I feel suicidal.....on many occasions.....am I going to fight these people...you bet...
Title: Re: How would you feel if you had no idea when or if you could have HRT and surg
Post by: Wing Walker on October 07, 2007, 02:45:13 AM
Post by: Wing Walker on October 07, 2007, 02:45:13 AM
Wishing to die young.
Title: Re: How would you feel if you had no idea when or if you could have HRT and surg
Post by: MichelleA on October 07, 2007, 02:58:28 AM
Post by: MichelleA on October 07, 2007, 02:58:28 AM
Castrating myself, and if I lived past that.. probably taking a gun to my head.
Couldn't bear that, I already went through denial.
Michelle
Couldn't bear that, I already went through denial.
Michelle
Title: Re: How would you feel if you had no idea when or if you could have HRT and surg
Post by: Rachael on October 07, 2007, 03:09:10 AM
Post by: Rachael on October 07, 2007, 03:09:10 AM
im on hrt, but i dont know when if ever ill get surgery, the local pct im in funds two surgeries a year, and as im not even at the gic, thats 5 years to start of list, and apparently, by figures, 23 years surgical waiting list... so for nhs, id say never. privately? im still in university, with no parents, and no money. so its also looking damn unlikely.
say, how do you say f***ed in spanish?
R :police:
say, how do you say f***ed in spanish?
R :police:
Title: Re: How would you feel if you had no idea when or if you could have HRT and surg
Post by: Berliegh on October 08, 2007, 02:23:29 PM
Post by: Berliegh on October 08, 2007, 02:23:29 PM
Quote from: Rachael on October 07, 2007, 03:09:10 AMI don't think there is any millage ...going through the NHS GIC system which was horrendous for me and I lost 6 years of my life, wasted.......since quitting that awful system I have made far more progress and have two different types of surgery lined up (not GRS but still NHS).....
im on hrt, but i dont know when if ever ill get surgery, the local pct im in funds two surgeries a year, and as im not even at the gic, thats 5 years to start of list, and apparently, by figures, 23 years surgical waiting list... so for nhs, id say never. privately? im still in university, with no parents, and no money. so its also looking damn unlikely.
say, how do you say f***ed in spanish?
R :police:
I really hope you don't suffer like I amd many others have through the NHS GIC system Rachael.....
Title: Re: How would you feel if you had no idea when or if you could have HRT and surg
Post by: Ell on October 08, 2007, 02:37:55 PM
Post by: Ell on October 08, 2007, 02:37:55 PM
Quote from: Nero on September 26, 2007, 06:05:39 PM
Good evening guys and dolls.
How would you feel if you couldn't have HRT and surgery and didn't know when you'd ever be able to do it or even IF you'd ever be able to do it? And you couldn't pass without HRT. And you're just stuck.
You have no control over your life, because you have no control over your body and when or IF it ever gets well.
How would you feel seriously?
Sappy, optimistic BS not appreciated. No 'tips' or 'advice' please. Just how YOU would feel.
i wouldn't feel too good about it, really. but i'm not you. you said earlier that you weren't really sure if you even wanted HRT. has that changed?
Title: Re: How would you feel if you had no idea when or if you could have HRT and surg
Post by: shanetastic on October 08, 2007, 04:54:44 PM
Post by: shanetastic on October 08, 2007, 04:54:44 PM
Quote from: Rachael on October 07, 2007, 03:09:10 AM
im on hrt, but i dont know when if ever ill get surgery, the local pct im in funds two surgeries a year, and as im not even at the gic, thats 5 years to start of list, and apparently, by figures, 23 years surgical waiting list... so for nhs, id say never. privately? im still in university, with no parents, and no money. so its also looking damn unlikely.
say, how do you say f***ed in spanish?
R :police:
student loans! :D
Title: Re: How would you feel if you had no idea when or if you could have HRT and surg
Post by: Rachael on October 09, 2007, 02:37:42 AM
Post by: Rachael on October 09, 2007, 02:37:42 AM
im going to suffer, as i cant afford to NOT...
student loans? the one that barely covers my house rent and thats about it? i dont think so...
although a bit of a tradgedy atm might allow me some milage sadly :(
R :police:
student loans? the one that barely covers my house rent and thats about it? i dont think so...
although a bit of a tradgedy atm might allow me some milage sadly :(
R :police:
Title: Re: How would you feel if you had no idea when or if you could have HRT and surg
Post by: Berliegh on October 09, 2007, 03:10:38 AM
Post by: Berliegh on October 09, 2007, 03:10:38 AM
Quote from: Rachael on October 09, 2007, 02:37:42 AM
im going to suffer, as i cant afford to NOT...
student loans? the one that barely covers my house rent and thats about it? i dont think so...
although a bit of a tradgedy atm might allow me some milage sadly :(
R :police:
I'm in a similar position to you financially Rachael but the U.K GIC system is bad news:
http://www.petitiononline.com/mod_perl/signed.cgi?nhsgidsp&1
I just work with my GP and PCT ...no GIC anymore....and things are working out for me much better now..
Title: Re: How would you feel if you had no idea when or if you could have HRT and surg
Post by: Rachael on October 09, 2007, 04:18:55 PM
Post by: Rachael on October 09, 2007, 04:18:55 PM
i cant get squat in my pct, so meh, im fubared till i finish uni and move basically...
R :police:
R :police:
Title: Re: How would you feel if you had no idea when or if you could have HRT and surg
Post by: Berliegh on October 10, 2007, 04:37:27 AM
Post by: Berliegh on October 10, 2007, 04:37:27 AM
Quote from: Rachael on October 09, 2007, 04:18:55 PM
i cant get squat in my pct, so meh, im fubared till i finish uni and move basically...
R :police:
Sorry, I didn't understand that?
Title: Re: How would you feel if you had no idea when or if you could have HRT and surg
Post by: Nero on October 10, 2007, 05:04:36 AM
Post by: Nero on October 10, 2007, 05:04:36 AM
Quote from: Ell on October 08, 2007, 02:37:55 PMQuote from: Nero on September 26, 2007, 06:05:39 PM
Good evening guys and dolls.
How would you feel if you couldn't have HRT and surgery and didn't know when you'd ever be able to do it or even IF you'd ever be able to do it? And you couldn't pass without HRT. And you're just stuck.
You have no control over your life, because you have no control over your body and when or IF it ever gets well.
How would you feel seriously?
Sappy, optimistic BS not appreciated. No 'tips' or 'advice' please. Just how YOU would feel.
i wouldn't feel too good about it, really. but i'm not you. you said earlier that you weren't really sure if you even wanted HRT. has that changed?
It's not changed. I've always known it was necessary for me to EVER pass at all. My physical dysphoria is breasts and bleeding. I'm not at all distressed by my lack of body hair and such. If everyone I passed on the street knew I was a man, I'd be content with just a masectomy and cessation of bleeding. But they don't.
Of course, I'd probably feel differently if my body were more feminine. My figure (save my tits) is pretty male. I'm well made, really no different than natal men my size.
A masectomy would make me feel better. HRT would make me feel better in the sense that people would not see a female when they meet me.
I just want to live my life. After all these years. I'm sick of looking like a woman. I really hate it. It makes me insane, just waiting, hoping, swallowing a dozen pills a day, in the hope I'll improve.
I'm like a caged animal. All I can do is cling to the hope I'll be able to someday change my body as needed.
Title: Re: How would you feel if you had no idea when or if you could have HRT and surgery?
Post by: cindybc on October 15, 2007, 06:24:20 AM
Post by: cindybc on October 15, 2007, 06:24:20 AM
I moved to BC Canada where health insurance covers SRS.
If I couldn't have got this far I probably would have crashed my car into that rock cut. I had always said that when I had to leave this world it would be in a "blaze of glory!" Luckily I didn't really want to do that and as I have done on so many different occasions I had a confab with the innerself while driving down the darkened highway. She responded, "well, just who is it that wants to die here anyway?" Needles to say it was Cynthia that arrived home all in one piece that night. The other part of me surrendered and is now resting where Cynthia had been trapped for all those years. According to the Ojibwa legend it this is called being *Two Spirited.* That is the term my Soul Mate and I have chosen to describe the phenomena of having one foot in each world. The next day it was Cynthia that left that apartment to go to work.
Cindy
If I couldn't have got this far I probably would have crashed my car into that rock cut. I had always said that when I had to leave this world it would be in a "blaze of glory!" Luckily I didn't really want to do that and as I have done on so many different occasions I had a confab with the innerself while driving down the darkened highway. She responded, "well, just who is it that wants to die here anyway?" Needles to say it was Cynthia that arrived home all in one piece that night. The other part of me surrendered and is now resting where Cynthia had been trapped for all those years. According to the Ojibwa legend it this is called being *Two Spirited.* That is the term my Soul Mate and I have chosen to describe the phenomena of having one foot in each world. The next day it was Cynthia that left that apartment to go to work.
Cindy
Title: Re: How would you feel if you had no idea when or if you could have HRT and surgery?
Post by: Lori on October 15, 2007, 07:05:12 AM
Post by: Lori on October 15, 2007, 07:05:12 AM
I'd pray for an early death and waste myself on alchol and drugs to help speed things up. If it didnt happen fast enough I'd drive out somewhere peaceful and quiet and shoot myself in the head. If HRT fails me I may still do that yet.
Title: Re: How would you feel if you had no idea when or if you could have HRT and surg
Post by: Suzy on October 15, 2007, 07:09:38 AM
Post by: Suzy on October 15, 2007, 07:09:38 AM
And if you could never do HRT, is it possible to still transition?
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fganjataz.com%2F01smileys%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2FloopyBlonde-blinking.gif&hash=4545ddf8251cf9c32ae6074d56e48bc34a755857)Kristi
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fganjataz.com%2F01smileys%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2FloopyBlonde-blinking.gif&hash=4545ddf8251cf9c32ae6074d56e48bc34a755857)Kristi
Title: Re: How would you feel if you had no idea when or if you could have HRT and surg
Post by: Lori on October 15, 2007, 07:11:02 AM
Post by: Lori on October 15, 2007, 07:11:02 AM
Quote from: Kristi on October 15, 2007, 07:09:38 AM
And if you could never do HRT, is it possible to still transition?
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fganjataz.com%2F01smileys%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2FloopyBlonde-blinking.gif&hash=4545ddf8251cf9c32ae6074d56e48bc34a755857)Kristi
LoL, given your pics I'd say in your case...yes.
Title: Re: How would you feel if you had no idea when or if you could have HRT and surg
Post by: Shana A on October 15, 2007, 09:28:17 AM
Post by: Shana A on October 15, 2007, 09:28:17 AM
Quote from: Kristi on October 15, 2007, 07:09:38 AM
And if you could never do HRT, is it possible to still transition?
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fganjataz.com%2F01smileys%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2FloopyBlonde-blinking.gif&hash=4545ddf8251cf9c32ae6074d56e48bc34a755857)Kristi
Sure. I've known some people who did that. Before our modern era, that was the primary way to transition.
zythyra
Title: Re: How would you feel if you had no idea when or if you could have HRT and surg
Post by: Rachael on October 15, 2007, 07:28:48 PM
Post by: Rachael on October 15, 2007, 07:28:48 PM
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi111.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fn125%2FBelladonna_06%2Fwtf1.jpg&hash=552703dc847f07014db8913b815ad2b4ae4f126c)
right: no hrt, left: 7 months hrt.
my answer? heck no, id be read from a mile, now, have a go ;)
R :police:
right: no hrt, left: 7 months hrt.
my answer? heck no, id be read from a mile, now, have a go ;)
R :police:
Title: Re: How would you feel if you had no idea when or if you could have HRT and surg
Post by: Berliegh on October 16, 2007, 07:01:27 AM
Post by: Berliegh on October 16, 2007, 07:01:27 AM
Quote from: Rachael on October 15, 2007, 07:28:48 PM
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi111.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fn125%2FBelladonna_06%2Fwtf1.jpg&hash=552703dc847f07014db8913b815ad2b4ae4f126c)
right: no hrt, left: 7 months hrt.
my answer? heck no, id be read from a mile, now, have a go ;)
R :police:
Hairstyle and laser makes a lot of difference to a persons appearance.......... but HRT doesn't influence facial structure or fat distribution that much.
I've been on HRT for 7 years and I haven't changed physically or facially at all during that time. It may make a person feel more relaxed and effects a persons emotions but it is limited physically.
Title: Re: How would you feel if you had no idea when or if you could have HRT and surg
Post by: Rachael on October 16, 2007, 09:54:48 AM
Post by: Rachael on October 16, 2007, 09:54:48 AM
er? yes, but when your fairly young, and never quite finished puberty, it has MASSIVE effects....
i had a LOT of fat movement, and my face is unrecogniseable from before. i dont even look related to me...
and ive had no hair removal, thats from hrt.... :P it just got sparecer and gone!
R :police:
i had a LOT of fat movement, and my face is unrecogniseable from before. i dont even look related to me...
and ive had no hair removal, thats from hrt.... :P it just got sparecer and gone!
R :police:
Title: Re: How would you feel if you had no idea when or if you could have HRT and surgery?
Post by: cindybc on October 16, 2007, 06:48:14 PM
Post by: cindybc on October 16, 2007, 06:48:14 PM
Here is a picture of me two years ago in Smoky Mountains Tennessee.
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi11.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fa191%2Fcynthiag932%2FF1000022.jpg&hash=6059a2135a9225cc4a040f7f890149429abdfb71)
This was my most recent pic, last winter.
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi11.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fa191%2Fcynthiag932%2FF1000021-1.jpg&hash=8e76569f4d29aa2bbb72226d6aa42731b01935ab)
I must say that the hormones have done a pretty good job on me. Do I look like I'm a lady in her sixties in these photos?
Cindy
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi11.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fa191%2Fcynthiag932%2FF1000022.jpg&hash=6059a2135a9225cc4a040f7f890149429abdfb71)
This was my most recent pic, last winter.
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi11.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fa191%2Fcynthiag932%2FF1000021-1.jpg&hash=8e76569f4d29aa2bbb72226d6aa42731b01935ab)
I must say that the hormones have done a pretty good job on me. Do I look like I'm a lady in her sixties in these photos?
Cindy
Title: Re: How would you feel if you had no idea when or if you could have HRT and surg
Post by: Ell on October 17, 2007, 08:52:35 PM
Post by: Ell on October 17, 2007, 08:52:35 PM
Quote from: Berliegh on October 16, 2007, 07:01:27 AM
Hairstyle and laser makes a lot of difference to a persons appearance.......... but HRT doesn't influence facial structure or fat distribution that much.
I've been on HRT for 7 years and I haven't changed physically or facially at all during that time. It may make a person feel more relaxed and effects a persons emotions but it is limited physically.
Aw c'mon! you've got the girliest puffy lil' cheeks i've ever seen. that's not from hormones?
Title: Re: How would you feel if you had no idea when or if you could have HRT and surg
Post by: Rachael on October 18, 2007, 02:54:11 AM
Post by: Rachael on October 18, 2007, 02:54:11 AM
tbh, if your too skinny, or old, then hrt wont effect you facially too much.
R :police:
R :police:
Title: Re: How would you feel if you had no idea when or if you could have HRT and surg
Post by: Berliegh on October 18, 2007, 06:05:14 AM
Post by: Berliegh on October 18, 2007, 06:05:14 AM
Quote from: ell on October 17, 2007, 08:52:35 PMQuote from: Berliegh on October 16, 2007, 07:01:27 AM
Hairstyle and laser makes a lot of difference to a persons appearance.......... but HRT doesn't influence facial structure or fat distribution that much.
I've been on HRT for 7 years and I haven't changed physically or facially at all during that time. It may make a person feel more relaxed and effects a persons emotions but it is limited physically.
Aw c'mon! you've got the girliest puffy lil' cheeks i've ever seen. that's not from hormones?
I've looked more or less the same since I was 13....I'm now 47 and have only been on hormones for about 7 years..
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi45.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Ff58%2Fdreamfields%2FKim1971copy.jpg&hash=512235cafbe70a055cafcfc9de27188f5c50b020)(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi45.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Ff58%2Fdreamfields%2FBerleigh1975.jpg&hash=406104a853daf32421827bc9f3607923c16cd9cd)(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi45.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Ff58%2Fdreamfields%2FBerliegh1979.jpg&hash=52aed213b2ed52daaea3cd4957b0682b0df3a0bb)(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi45.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Ff58%2Fdreamfields%2FBerliegh1985.jpg&hash=e0c61d59b867cd16f893db211ee1b58625bec3d1)(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi45.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Ff58%2Fdreamfields%2FBerliegh1990.jpg&hash=764a7a7c0ccff9f3d1f937460f5e9de4287cdb2d)(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi45.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Ff58%2Fdreamfields%2FBerliegh2003.jpg&hash=7db779f28dfae69107a859b716a9c6e3b984d1f5)(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi45.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Ff58%2Fdreamfields%2FBerliegh2004.jpg&hash=25147546dd859e585d46a9a9cdd2b1fdc41e7b80)
Title: Re: How would you feel if you had no idea when or if you could have HRT and surgery?
Post by: Nero on October 18, 2007, 07:15:29 AM
Post by: Nero on October 18, 2007, 07:15:29 AM
Oh Berleigh, you were such an adorable young girl!
Title: Re: How would you feel if you had no idea when or if you could have HRT and surgery?
Post by: Berliegh on October 18, 2007, 08:01:40 AM
Post by: Berliegh on October 18, 2007, 08:01:40 AM
Quote from: Nero on October 18, 2007, 07:15:29 AM
Oh Berleigh, you were such an adorable young girl!
Is this serious? or a bit tongue in cheek nero?
Title: Re: How would you feel if you had no idea when or if you could have HRT and surg
Post by: Shana A on October 18, 2007, 09:03:53 AM
Post by: Shana A on October 18, 2007, 09:03:53 AM
Berleigh, you look great! I'd be happy to look half as femme as you. Seriously!
Zythyra
Zythyra
Title: Re: How would you feel if you had no idea when or if you could have HRT and surg
Post by: Berliegh on October 18, 2007, 10:50:04 AM
Post by: Berliegh on October 18, 2007, 10:50:04 AM
Quote from: y2gender on October 18, 2007, 09:03:53 AM
Berleigh, you look great! I'd be happy to look half as femme as you. Seriously!
Zythyra
I never thought I was that fem looking....apart from the first one taken when I was about 11....
Title: Re: How would you feel if you had no idea when or if you could have HRT and surg
Post by: Rachael on October 18, 2007, 11:05:21 AM
Post by: Rachael on October 18, 2007, 11:05:21 AM
Whoa, what yous need is Glasses, not facial feminisation surgery...
R :police:
R :police:
Title: Re: How would you feel if you had no idea when or if you could have HRT and surg
Post by: Suzy on October 18, 2007, 12:15:47 PM
Post by: Suzy on October 18, 2007, 12:15:47 PM
Quote from: Rachael on October 18, 2007, 11:05:21 AM
Whoa, what yous need is Glasses, not facial feminisation surgery...
R :police:
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fimg256.echo.cx%2Fimg256%2F1869%2Fditto8pi.gif&hash=8930fcc86bdb191540b90f5b36740bd036b39083)
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fganjataz.com%2F01smileys%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2FloopyBlonde-blinking.gif&hash=4545ddf8251cf9c32ae6074d56e48bc34a755857)Kristi
Title: Re: How would you feel if you had no idea when or if you could have HRT and surg
Post by: Seshatneferw on October 18, 2007, 01:39:24 PM
Post by: Seshatneferw on October 18, 2007, 01:39:24 PM
Quote from: Berliegh on October 18, 2007, 08:01:40 AMQuote from: Nero on October 18, 2007, 07:15:29 AM
Oh Berleigh, you were such an adorable young girl!
Is this serious? or a bit tongue in cheek nero?
No, seriously, how on earth did you manage to pass as a boy?
Nfr
Title: Re: How would you feel if you had no idea when or if you could have HRT and surg
Post by: Berliegh on October 18, 2007, 02:58:41 PM
Post by: Berliegh on October 18, 2007, 02:58:41 PM
Quote from: Seshatneferw on October 18, 2007, 01:39:24 PMQuote from: Berliegh on October 18, 2007, 08:01:40 AMQuote from: Nero on October 18, 2007, 07:15:29 AM
Oh Berleigh, you were such an adorable young girl!
Is this serious? or a bit tongue in cheek nero?
No, seriously, how on earth did you manage to pass as a boy?
Nfr
I didn't pass as a boy a lot of the time and it was a bit embarrising for my parents. It got worse in my teens......I used to get hit on sometimes and I was nearly raped once. It was tough getting through life in general in my teens and 20's.....
Ironically, I think I look more male nowadays, now I'm into transition which is a pain..
Title: Re: How would you feel if you had no idea when or if you could have HRT and surgery?
Post by: cindybc on October 18, 2007, 06:05:46 PM
Post by: cindybc on October 18, 2007, 06:05:46 PM
Hi Berliegh
Those pictures were great but I do know what you mean by the harassment in public school and once I got to 12 years old I left my hair grow by the time I was sixteen I had butt length hair, people stopped bugging me because they just weren't sure anymore what I was, this was during the hippy era. I was being clocked as a girl by a lot of people right on up to mid twenties where where I finally cut my hair off and I finally began to grow a light beard where I looked more androgynous. then anything else.
Cindy
Those pictures were great but I do know what you mean by the harassment in public school and once I got to 12 years old I left my hair grow by the time I was sixteen I had butt length hair, people stopped bugging me because they just weren't sure anymore what I was, this was during the hippy era. I was being clocked as a girl by a lot of people right on up to mid twenties where where I finally cut my hair off and I finally began to grow a light beard where I looked more androgynous. then anything else.
Cindy
Title: Re: How would you feel if you had no idea when or if you could have HRT and surg
Post by: shy_lory on October 19, 2007, 01:22:11 AM
Post by: shy_lory on October 19, 2007, 01:22:11 AM
Honestly :-\
I would feel like I feel now. I feel an emptiness like I am starting to accept that I am truly transgender but Im so so so scared to go any further. Seeing a therapists and getting hormones seems as far off as me ending up getting married. It mostly comes down to issues of security, god, trying to understand what is right, what is real. Before coming to Susans I was actually getting pretty suicidal. I do not know why nor do I understand it but I have started blaming most of my depression on this. Even though HRT and SRS are available it does not mean that everyone has access to them because of personal issues or because of money. If I had a million dollars :) Im sure I would have started HRT by now. But due to circumstances having no idea when or ifyou could have HRT is a harsh reality for people like me.
sigh, but anyway :angel:
I would feel like I feel now. I feel an emptiness like I am starting to accept that I am truly transgender but Im so so so scared to go any further. Seeing a therapists and getting hormones seems as far off as me ending up getting married. It mostly comes down to issues of security, god, trying to understand what is right, what is real. Before coming to Susans I was actually getting pretty suicidal. I do not know why nor do I understand it but I have started blaming most of my depression on this. Even though HRT and SRS are available it does not mean that everyone has access to them because of personal issues or because of money. If I had a million dollars :) Im sure I would have started HRT by now. But due to circumstances having no idea when or ifyou could have HRT is a harsh reality for people like me.
sigh, but anyway :angel:
Title: Re: How would you feel if you had no idea when or if you could have HRT and surgery?
Post by: cindybc on October 19, 2007, 02:03:04 AM
Post by: cindybc on October 19, 2007, 02:03:04 AM
Hi shy_lory
Welcome to Susan's. Just take deep breath and chill out I am sure all your questions can be answered in time.
Cindy
Welcome to Susan's. Just take deep breath and chill out I am sure all your questions can be answered in time.
Cindy
Title: Re: How would you feel if you had no idea when or if you could have HRT and surg
Post by: Rachael on October 19, 2007, 03:56:07 AM
Post by: Rachael on October 19, 2007, 03:56:07 AM
does not having hrt include not having the option to self medicate? or are we being goodie goodie?
R :police:
R :police:
Title: Re: How would you feel if you had no idea when or if you could have HRT and surgery?
Post by: Berliegh on October 19, 2007, 03:57:29 AM
Post by: Berliegh on October 19, 2007, 03:57:29 AM
Quote from: cindybc on October 18, 2007, 06:05:46 PM
Hi Berliegh
Those pictures were great but I do know what you mean by the harassment in public school and once I got to 12 years old I left my hair grow by the time I was sixteen I had butt length hair, people stopped bugging me because they just weren't sure anymore what I was, this was during the hippy era. I was being clocked as a girl by a lot of people right on up to mid twenties where where I finally cut my hair off and I finally began to grow a light beard where I looked more androgynous. then anything else.
Cindy
You grew a beard? yuk!...never.....I don't think I could if I wanted to and I wouldn't have wanted to. I grew up in the 70's and 80's and had very long hair most of the time. I think I only got it cut once in 1983 but even that wouldn't be considered short these days....
I was seen as a girl which I enjoyed.......I knew what I was but I couldn't get what I needed at that time.....I enjoyed going against society and there was no way I would conform to a gender stereotype..
Title: Re: How would you feel if you had no idea when or if you could have HRT and surgery?
Post by: cindybc on October 19, 2007, 05:05:18 AM
Post by: cindybc on October 19, 2007, 05:05:18 AM
Hi Berliegh
Yes I grew a beard and sideburns for a while so I would look older to get in the bars. Before the beard and sideburns I looked like a girl in her early teens, certainly short a few years to pass in bars.
Then I had to chop off the hair to obtain this job that had really good pay, benefits, and a good solid union. I worked there ten years and let my hair grow back to shoulder length and got rid of the beard, yuck for sure, I don't know how anyone can stand having a beard. It felt like it was infested with flees, "scratch, scratch, scratch."
Well from seven years ago I let my hair grow to mid back where it is now. I had a a good friend, the one in Long island who lives next door to Montauk tell me one time that a woman's hair is her crowning glory. I though that was neat the way she put it.
Cindy
Yes I grew a beard and sideburns for a while so I would look older to get in the bars. Before the beard and sideburns I looked like a girl in her early teens, certainly short a few years to pass in bars.
Then I had to chop off the hair to obtain this job that had really good pay, benefits, and a good solid union. I worked there ten years and let my hair grow back to shoulder length and got rid of the beard, yuck for sure, I don't know how anyone can stand having a beard. It felt like it was infested with flees, "scratch, scratch, scratch."
Well from seven years ago I let my hair grow to mid back where it is now. I had a a good friend, the one in Long island who lives next door to Montauk tell me one time that a woman's hair is her crowning glory. I though that was neat the way she put it.
Cindy