Susan's Place Transgender Resources

Starting my own thread because I'm seriously considering FFS and didn't want to derail others. How much and what exactly is yet to be determined.

Stats and vital info:
Age:37
Height: 5'6"
Weight: 150lbs
Ethnicity: Asian Indian
HRT: ~1 year
Previous surgeries: VFS (Dr Kim/Yeson).

But this is what I'm working with.

Front pic taken at DMV, profile pics taken with iPhone front camera. I will have better pics with a DSLR probably later or tomorrow.

Frontal pic (driver license)

(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi1188.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fz403%2Frjairam%2FRia_DL_pic_zpshj5lkcrj.jpg&hash=5beeead3f3e22503f18c5e2ff62aae1c7e417d60)

Profile 1:

(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi1188.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fz403%2Frjairam%2Fprofile2_zps4tf0uwan.jpg&hash=134e51253e12312e0477c289e98be0a460c8d7e0)

Profile 2:
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi1188.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fz403%2Frjairam%2Fprofile%25201_zpsnivceq4w.jpg&hash=7419d90cf41bbd9de42d6751c7bbf3408cfb5edf)


So I would probably need some brow work, orbital, rhinoplasty and chin work. Not exactly sure what yet though. I'm going to be consulting with surgeons very soon.

Hi iKate!

I agree with your analysis, but I would add jaw and upper lip lift too. I know it sounds harsh, but I genuinely feel it's just the reality for most of us. Even those of us who pass before FFS. If that's out of your budget then prioritize forehead/nose and chin. Throw in the upper lip lift if it makes sense financially. But if you can afford "the works" I say go for it.

Quote from: BellaSwan on November 26, 2015, 03:49:26 PM
Hi iKate!

I agree with your analysis, but I would add jaw and upper lip lift too. I know it sounds harsh, but I genuinely feel it's just the reality for most of us. Even those of us who pass before FFS. If that's out of your budget then prioritize forehead/nose and chin. Throw in the upper lip lift if it makes sense financially. But if you can afford "the works" I say go for it.

It's not a matter of affording it, it's a matter of how much trauma I want to give to my face.

The question originally was, what do I do with the chin?

I think I pass, at least no one treats me like a trans woman (those that don't know), people have made comments about being on my period, or asking about my husband etc. But I don't know for sure. I feel FFS might help me more in the "for sure" department.

Regarding the lip lift, can you explain a bit more? What would they do?

I also don't want procedures that would shape my face like a caucasian or african-american person. I want to look like a girl of my ethnicity. I know one other Indian girl who is going for FFS at Facial Team (ssneha23) so I want to see her results and what they did for her. Especially if anyone else who is Indian can chime in, that would be great.

But honestly I want opinions from everyone because I also live and work in American society, so blending in is a matter of blending in here.

I may never look like this but it's nice to have goals.

(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi1188.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fz403%2Frjairam%2FA334E87E-7B65-49F3-94BA-A869E64B114B_zpsjwo3glb7.jpg&hash=0e4afc09b64d069622564cf19d86c872fef1c6f1)

It looks from avatar pic like you have smaller chin. Looking now this photos you posted, especially DMV one, it definitely looks like you would benefit with chin reduction, height-wise and lateral narrowing. Upper lip-lift seems like a good idea. I can't comment on jaw based on this pictures.
If you'll decide to feminize upper face, you should go with a surgeon who does "type3" forehead. Just some burring and smoothing wouldn't make much sense for you. The biggest change will be orbital rims, which will really depend on how much of a forehead set-back will be made.

......

Whoa. That's pretty good, even for a quick attempt.

What kind of pic would you need for the jaw? 3/4 profile?

Frontal, taken a larger distance than (like at 8ft) to avoid camera deformation. And 3/4 profile yes, anything around 70° usually works. This will give better idea of how jaw really is. 

Quote from: Lagertha on November 26, 2015, 07:14:08 PM
Frontal, taken a larger distance than (like at 8ft) to avoid camera deformation. And 3/4 profile yes, anything around 70° usually works. This will give better idea of how jaw really is.

Cool. I'll have to set up the tripod and 30sec timer on the DSLR for that one... stay tuned.

This is another I took the night before I went to DMV to update my license (last month). I was experimenting with various makeup combinations, hoping to get a good pic on my license.

(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi1188.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fz403%2Frjairam%2Fikate1_zpsxkb9ve3v.jpg&hash=1f321ae8a2b4598e69ec5c4d2ece05310d9b8cfe)

Jumping into this thread, hope things go well for you!

I'm researching/consulting about FFS myself too.

Nice job Lagertha too! Fun to be able to see what could be possible.

Quote from: Debra on November 26, 2015, 11:32:31 PM
Jumping into this thread, hope things go well for you!

I'm researching/consulting about FFS myself too.

Nice job Lagertha too! Fun to be able to see what could be possible.

I agree, thanks!

I'm probably going to do virtualFFS as well, but it's nice to see the possibilities.

Looking at DMV photo up in the first post, I would swear that you need lateral jaw reduction. Now looking at the last photo you posted, I'm not shure... I don't think you need it.
When you will be making photos for consultations with surgeons be shure you take the photos from larger distance (and then crop out appropriate size pic). They hate when patients send them "selfie" pics, because of short distance deformation. 

Quote from: Lagertha on November 27, 2015, 11:08:06 AM
Looking at DMV photo up in the first post, I would swear that you need lateral jaw reduction. Now looking at the last photo you posted, I'm not shure... I don't think you need it.
When you will be making photos for consultations with surgeons be shure you take the photos from larger distance (and then crop out appropriate size pic). They hate when patients send them "selfie" pics, because of short distance deformation.

I agree. Front cameras in phones especially are wide angle.

When I do the DSLR pic I'll use an 85mm portrait lens from about 8-10ft.

The problem with the DMV pic is lighting. Plus facial shadow which tends to create the illusion of a larger chin and jaw.

But once I do the DSLR photos we can get a better idea.

That it may, but a chin and jaw within in female proportions probably would still look female with facial shadows and bad lighting.

Quote from: BellaSwan on November 27, 2015, 01:03:11 PM
That it may, but a chin and jaw within in female proportions probably would still look female with facial shadows and bad lighting.

Oh definitely I have a problem with the chin. That's a given. The jaw, I'm not so sure.

If you don't feel there's a problem, no need to get it done. It's all about relieving our own personal dysphoria, not living up to someone else's expectations! X

iKate,

I don't see anything about your face that clocks you as trans at all. There is nothing wrong with getting FFS, but get it for the right reason like you want to change a feature of your face. I can't imagine anything that would change that would make you look more feminine. I don't think that FFS is going to improve passibility at all since you pass completely fine. If you just want plastic surgery to fix flaws, that is a better reason.

I myself have been on the fence about getting FFS. My brow bothers me some as I feel it's a little too strong. No necessarily masculine, but strong. Everyone tells me it's fine. I pass just find and I've seen cis-women with a much stronger brow. After going back and forth on this, I've decided that my $$$ is best spend on hairline improvement so I fee more comfortable with getting my hair wet swimming and being able to where my hair back in the high ponytail. I can pull off a low ponytail, but not a high one.

Hi iKate,

   Thanks for sharing about your possible intentions. You should read Alexandra's virtual ffs website, even if you don't plan to have her give you an evaluation. It's excellent, many FFS doctors are aware of and trust her analyses, but you can just read her descriptions of feminizing different parts of the face.

       I'm not an expert and it also depends on what you want in terms of femininity, but my opinion is you could use full ffs with aggressive type 3, rhinoplasty (although you have a relatively thin bridge as is), very slight lip lift, aggressive sliding genioplasty, jaw tapering, and in my opinion, neck lipo. Actually, you seem to have a similar problem as me (profile pic hides it); excess skin around the jowls and neck, which is why it's impossible to tell with these photos what your jawbone actually looks like. Look in the mirror while you pull up the skin from the sides so you can better see what the bone looks like. Also feel for the masseter muscle in the corners, maybe you need to wait longer for the hormones to work, or perhaps botox or a surgical reduction would help. Maybe it's more of a soft tissue problem than a bone one?

     Whatever the case, you look good and will only look better with ffs. It's your choice but I think you should go for it. In order of prices, most expensive to least, of doctors you should consider: Dr.O/Deschamps-Braly, Dr.Lee/Gary Alter, Dr. Spiegel, Facial Team, Dr. DiMaggio, or Dr.Rossi (my doctor). Any of these doctors will give you the aggressive type 3 and chin/jaw work that will benefit you the most.

    Also, thanks for your thread on Yeson Voice. You helped me make my decision to go to them :) Seriously voice is just as important, a fact I'm learning the hard way.

- Ruby

I stand by what I said about iKate and I think your money would be better spent on a forehead reconstruction, Sydney. If passing completely is the goal, FFS is a necessity. As trans women, facial proportions aren't the only thing that are "off" and it's rarely just one facial feature. Having an OK feminine face for a cis woman and a trans woman mean widely different things. I think realism is lacking here. I passed before FFS because I'm built like a model, petite for my height, have hips, small feet and hands, the only overly long feature I have are my legs etc, but anyone who knew even the most basic of skeletal differences between males and females would have seen my face was off, and I was generally considered beautiful. I ultimately don't feel it matters what we start with, most of us would still benefit from having most things done. I won the genetic lottery in many ways considering how my face and body developed (and didn't develop), but I'm not going to lie to myself - what needs doing needs doing. Not getting FFS is fine, but let's not pretend it's because it wouldn't benefit each and every one if us who went through a normal puberty, especially if you're above a certain very young age.

I know Sydney very well (we meet up every now and again) and while I respect her opinion, I do think I want to have FFS. No, I don't think I need it to pass at all. I pass right now. I just find that some people may have doubt that I want to remove. It is also about feeling good about myself.

It's like the voice. I knew I could train it but I felt the surgery gave me a better outcome. No regrets whatsoever. It has been a total life changer. I have zero fear of my voice outing me now. I could not sound masculine even if I tried, and I tried as a test on the phone with Amex to their customer service in India, nope, still ma'am. I am extremely pleased about that. I do not have to ever think about my voice and that is wonderful.

I would like to do the same with my face, because I feel it would give me a better self image and help with the doubts that I feel some people have about my gender. I also would not have to worry about how I look if I leave the house quickly, eg to go to the store. Maybe just slip on a sweatshirt and pants. Right now though that's possible, and I don't ever get misgendered, not even visually, but I still feel people have doubt. I want to alleviate that.

Also, these pics without makeup are on purpose. I don't want contouring and other visual tricks to prevent an honest assessment.

One other important consideration is my safety. I am from the Caribbean and it is not a very nice place for transsexuals as we are routinely assaulted and killed. Unfortunately I still have to go there off and on and passing undoubtedly is a matter of safety.

Quote from: Sydney_NYC on November 27, 2015, 08:39:34 PM
iKate,

I don't see anything about your face that clocks you as trans at all. There is nothing wrong with getting FFS, but get it for the right reason like you want to change a feature of your face. I can't imagine anything that would change that would make you look more feminine. I don't think that FFS is going to improve passibility at all since you pass completely fine. If you just want plastic surgery to fix flaws, that is a better reason.

I myself have been on the fence about getting FFS. My brow bothers me some as I feel it's a little too strong. No necessarily masculine, but strong. Everyone tells me it's fine. I pass just find and I've seen cis-women with a much stronger brow. After going back and forth on this, I've decided that my $$$ is best spend on hairline improvement so I fee more comfortable with getting my hair wet swimming and being able to where my hair back in the high ponytail. I can pull off a low ponytail, but not a high one.

Sydney, you know I respect your opinion like the sister you are but everyone says I don't "need" FFS but they don't see myself in the mirror every day.

Sometimes I amaze even myself at situations where I pass but I think a lot of that has to do with the voice. I want to complete the picture with the face. The other issue as I mentioned is safety back home. Not that I would ever go back to live there but I have to go to deal with stuff now and again.

My aunt saying I look like a man (when I almost pretty much look like her!) really hurt me too.

But my main reason is I want to look at myself and see who and what I want to see. I spent 36 years looking at something I didn't like at all. Now I want to spend the other half of my life looking at something I want to see.

I don't know how aggressive I would get with FFS as I am kind of skittish about pain, numbness and recovery. But that is why I'm getting a feel for it. I did the same for the voice surgery and thoroughly researched everything. The forum has been immensely helpful in that regard, with Jenny, Jamie, Anja and others... and there were people telling me "you don't need it" but that was never true. Sure, I can train my voice but I couldn't get the result I have now, where everything sounds feminine with zero effort. I wake up in the morning and talk, and that's it.

I want the same for my appearance.

Quote from: iKate on November 28, 2015, 06:54:27 PM

I don't know how aggressive I would get with FFS as I am kind of skittish about pain, numbness and recovery. But that is why I'm getting a feel for it. I did the same for the voice surgery and thoroughly researched everything. The forum has been immensely helpful in that regard, with Jenny, Jamie, Anja and others... and there were people telling me "you don't need it" but that was never true. Sure, I can train my voice but I couldn't get the result I have now, where everything sounds feminine with zero effort. I wake up in the morning and talk, and that's it.

I want the same for my appearance.

From your pictures, it looks like you would do well with FFS.  And it is easy to understand why you want that transformation.

I see some of the comments here about the post surgery pain and longer term swelling.  I am not sure I understand the reason for some of those reports, because from other reports I have seen elsewhere,  if done properly, it is possible for FFS patients to go home mid-day the day following a 10 or 12 hour surgery - -  and not be taking nor needing to take narcotic medications.  I think the key concept here is that a lot depends on who the surgeon is and the  surgery has to be planned and executed properly and the immediate post op overnight care has to be well planned and executed.

Quote from: iKate on November 28, 2015, 06:54:27 PM
Sydney, you know I respect your opinion like the sister you are but everyone says I don't "need" FFS but they don't see myself in the mirror every day.

Sometimes I amaze even myself at situations where I pass but I think a lot of that has to do with the voice. I want to complete the picture with the face. The other issue as I mentioned is safety back home. Not that I would ever go back to live there but I have to go to deal with stuff now and again.

My aunt saying I look like a man (when I almost pretty much look like her!) really hurt me too.

But my main reason is I want to look at myself and see who and what I want to see. I spent 36 years looking at something I didn't like at all. Now I want to spend the other half of my life looking at something I want to see.

I don't know how aggressive I would get with FFS as I am kind of skittish about pain, numbness and recovery. But that is why I'm getting a feel for it. I did the same for the voice surgery and thoroughly researched everything. The forum has been immensely helpful in that regard, with Jenny, Jamie, Anja and others... and there were people telling me "you don't need it" but that was never true. Sure, I can train my voice but I couldn't get the result I have now, where everything sounds feminine with zero effort. I wake up in the morning and talk, and that's it.

I want the same for my appearance.

Thank you for your kind words :)

Your reasoning for FFS is a healthy reason and hearing how you feel is re-assuring. We as trans women tend to focus on those minimal masculine feature that 99.9% of the population don't see. I would hate to so you are anyone get FFS and still focus on those features that you see and no one else sees.

QuoteWe as trans women tend to focus on those minimal masculine feature that 99.9% of the population don't see

Ain't that the truth! Even so, it's amazing how much more feminine this surgery can make someone. Still, it's hard to accept that for many of us, there may always be some kind of masculinity left no matter how aggressive the surgeon is. Despite saying that, in my opinion, it's worth the pain and the money, even if only to feeling safer on the streets. It's a travesty that insurance most often doesn't pay for it.

- Ruby

We girls are perfectionists and why not.

We are trying to irradicate many links from the past.

Being female is not all about the face, it's about everything that comes natural to a genetic woman and that's the hard part.

Mind you when I look at our genetic sisters, I think " Hey you look quite masculine or you need a nose job ".

I am amazed how a simple rhinoplasty can sometimes transform a plain woman into a beauty.

Quote from: RubyAliza on November 28, 2015, 10:09:26 PM
Ain't that the truth! Even so, it's amazing how much more feminine this surgery can make someone. Still, it's hard to accept that for many of us, there may always be some kind of masculinity left no matter how aggressive the surgeon is. Despite saying that, in my opinion, it's worth the pain and the money, even if only to feeling safer on the streets. It's a travesty that insurance most often doesn't pay for it.

- Ruby

Sent from my SM-G900R4 using Tapatalk

Well it's not so much about perfection, it's about reality. My brow bossing is really bad. Not as bad as some people but bad enough that it bothers me a lot. The chin is a problem too.

I still owe you ladies some pics but I have been running ragged the past few weeks. Maybe this weekend I'll get to snap a pic or three.

If and when you decide to have ffs, have you thought about which doctor to go to ?

Quote from: JaniceNL on December 04, 2015, 01:52:58 PM
If and when you decide to have ffs, have you thought about which doctor to go to ?

Probably facial team. I like their results and their philosophy.

Well here I am again. I finally got around to taking some pics to show what my face needs. No makeup, obviously.

Front:
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi1188.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fz403%2Frjairam%2Ffront_zpsg2f9hxkx.jpg&hash=e1a1b90ddfa954ba0bcd309436a2336e6ad510fe)

L profile:
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi1188.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fz403%2Frjairam%2FL%2520profile_zps34ipgdoa.jpg&hash=11bb7e72d21f10fb70474199934097875c1e39c2)

R profile:(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi1188.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fz403%2Frjairam%2FR%2520profile_zpshvfsbopq.jpg&hash=fa770ef5f2482c498749d55075c550fa251f315a)

3/4 profile:
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi1188.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fz403%2Frjairam%2F3-4%2520profile_zpsif8vz1kh.jpg&hash=4006ffd1f9d3fba6ed4820a1f9b62faad36eb7c9)

Hair down:
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi1188.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fz403%2Frjairam%2Fhair%2520down_zps6z1nt75k.jpg&hash=63680ce30e287df87419a5ac12adfb342f9fde58)

I can definitely see forehead work in my future, along with some chin contouring. The rest, I'm not really sure.

I may look like I need hair transplants but I'm totally fine without them if they can save me a bit of money.

Totally honest opinions welcome. Yes, I look totally unflattering but that is kind of the point. I want to be sure I'm looking my worst without any fancying up or camera tricks.

Yeah definitely forehead. The brow ridge and the sunken in eyes effect. I have both as well....even after 6 years of HRT, it's still enough to bother me.

Quote from: Debra on January 10, 2016, 05:24:17 PM
Yeah definitely forehead. The brow ridge and the sunken in eyes effect. I have both as well....even after 6 years of HRT, it's still enough to bother me.

What about chin and jaw?

Hi Kate,

Just out of interest who did you go to for voice surgery?

My research tells me to get on a plane to Korea .. :)

Hugs

Paula

Quote from: iKate on November 28, 2015, 06:38:13 PM

It's like the voice. I knew I could train it but I felt the surgery gave me a better outcome. No regrets whatsoever. It has been a total life changer. I have zero fear of my voice outing me now. I could not sound masculine even if I tried, and I tried as a test on the phone with Amex to their customer service in India, nope, still ma'am. I am extremely pleased about that. I do not have to ever think about my voice and that is wonderful.

Quote from: Paula1 on January 10, 2016, 07:06:09 PM
Hi Kate,

Just out of interest who did you go to for voice surgery?

My research tells me to get on a plane to Korea .. :)

Hugs

Paula

I went to Dr Kim. I have no regrets other than I should have stayed longer in Korea to be a tourist more.

In the end it's a personal decision but I'm happy with my outcome and that's all that matters.

Check out the voice forum. I documented much of my trip toward the tail end of Jenny's first Yeson thread and my result in the beginning of the 2.0 one.

Morning Kate,

I am up fairly early here in the UK, it's 5.53am !!!!

Quote from: iKate on January 10, 2016, 08:01:34 PM
I went to Dr Kim. I have no regrets other than I should have stayed longer in Korea to be a tourist more.

Thought you might have done. The NHS pays for vocal chord surgery here in the UK with two British surgeons BUT I would not let them take their scalpel anywhere near me. I applied once before and got the funding but realised that I would not get a good job done. So I will be applying for funding to pay for it to be performed in Korea. Obviously I will have to pay for flights and accommodation. I have not had problems yet getting money sent overseas by the NHS for surgery, so this should hopefully be OK. If not I will fight them based on precedent and the NHS effectively screwed my face. Also I expect it will be cheaper for the NHS as it is for them to pay Facial Team in April. The surgery for my face would be double if I had stayed in 'Rip Off UK'.... but there is no expertise here anyway for the surgery that I will be having as we know from my failed facial revision surgery in October 2014.  :o   Watch this space kiddo.

In the end it's a personal decision but I'm happy with my outcome and that's all that matters.

That's all you want and you have only one voice .. Well done on your result ..  8)

Check out the voice forum. I documented much of my trip toward the tail end of Jenny's first Yeson thread and my result in the beginning of the 2.0 one.

Will do and thanks .. :-)

Have a nice day or nite ...  :)

Hugs

Paula

Quote from: Paula1 on January 10, 2016, 11:54:44 PM
Morning Kate,

I am up fairly early here in the UK, it's 5.53am !!!!


Have a nice day or nite ...  :)

Hugs

Paula

Hi Paula,

Good to hear. We don't have the NHS here which is probably a good thing except for cost if you don't have insurance.

I could have gone to a local surgeon or Dr Haben (who I could drive to) but Dr Kim was a known quantity. So I went there. As I said, no regrets. I even made a vacation out of it and bonded with my mum who took excellent care of me.

For FFS I have funds but I have to budget carefully so I'm looking for good results at a reasonable price. I'm not looking to do every procedure under the sun but I'm looking to fix the major issues. My goal is to blend in better. I do so already pretty much but I don't feel 100% satisfied with myself.

Hi Kate

Your nose and kips looks fine to me. I would agree with your assessment that Forehead/orbitals, chin and probably jaw would give you a huge bang for your buck.

Hi Kate,

Can you kindly let me have the two links for your posts.

I have searched and searched but cannot find them ... :(

Ta

Paula

Quote from: iKate on January 10, 2016, 08:01:34 PM
I went to Dr Kim. I have no regrets other than I should have stayed longer in Korea to be a tourist more.

In the end it's a personal decision but I'm happy with my outcome and that's all that matters.

Check out the voice forum. I documented much of my trip toward the tail end of Jenny's first Yeson thread and my result in the beginning of the 2.0 one.

Quote from: Paula1 on January 11, 2016, 10:26:04 PM
Hi Kate,

Can you kindly let me have the two links for your posts.

I have searched and searched but cannot find them ... :(

Ta

Paula

Jenny's original thread:
https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,139439.0.html

This is where I am departing for Korea and the pages that follow have a lot of my experiences:
https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,139439.1860.html

Post op is in this thread as the original grew too long and had to be split off:
https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,192899.0.html

Take care.

Hi Kate,

Thank you so much for this, I will check them out.

Just looked at the number of your posts .. Wow .. It has to be a record  8)

Hugs

Paula

Quote from: iKate on January 12, 2016, 01:13:18 PM
Jenny's original thread:
https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,139439.0.html

This is where I am departing for Korea and the pages that follow have a lot of my experiences:
https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,139439.1860.html

Post op is in this thread as the original grew too long and had to be split off:
https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,192899.0.html

Take care.

Quote from: Paula1 on January 12, 2016, 02:28:26 PM
Hi Kate,

Thank you so much for this, I will check them out.

Just looked at the number of your posts .. Wow .. It has to be a record  8)

Hugs

Paula

Let's just say I type fast and I love to dive deep into whatever I do :)

You're a beautiful girl , iKate :)

Really :)

You look wonderful x

 :icon_flower:   Paula smiles 

Quote from: MtFGenderQueer on January 12, 2016, 07:05:50 PM
You're a beautiful girl , iKate :)

Really :)

You look wonderful x

Hi Kate,

Bit like me and it's the best thing to do ...  :)

But I have some way to catch you up ...  ;) ;)

Quote from: iKate on January 12, 2016, 07:03:56 PM
Let's just say I type fast and I love to dive deep into whatever I do :)

Quote from: MtFGenderQueer on January 12, 2016, 07:05:50 PM
You're a beautiful girl , iKate :)

Really :)

You look wonderful x

Thanks, and I sort of do believe this, but this is mostly about me improving myself. :)

There is a wee amount of wanting to silence my critics (my aunt most notably) but 99% of this is being done for me and me only.

I think Devlyn holds the record with postings

BTW my goal is to be passable without makeup, which I am sort of already (nobody misgenders me and they don't simply seem to be being nice).

I find makeup to be somewhat of a nuisance to wear every day, but I don't mind wearing it now and again. Doesn't really seem to hurt when I don't.

*

Kate:

Only seeing your site picture, I was curious why you felt the urgency or need for FFS.  I thought, as perhaps others, to question you to be certain you will do this for your own well-being and not at the behest of others.

As I progressed reading through your thread, it became clear when you explain how and why you are doing this for you.  I can also comprehend when you wrote about your personal safety travelling home.

People familiar to us frequently still see that old us as much as we do and that remains our sliver of doubt.  No matter how many times I can look in my mirror, see my female self, and jump for joy, some days I catch one bit of minutiae that draws my attention and drops my mood.  So I can empathise with you.

I eventually saw you later pictures - front, side, 3/4 - and, while I see female, it could be that we tend to go easy on ourselves when others see harshly.  Yes, though I can see masculine features, I still first say female before saying male.  FFS will make you a better you and that is among the points in your favour.

I rarely use face make-up; maybe occasionally a little eye-liner to make my eyes show and a little lip-stick for color.  I can get out of bed, take my shower, put on anything, and no one thinks of me male, or at least no one approaches as that, and there is quite that self-satisfying comfort about that.  You deserve having that same relaxed experience for your own self-satisfying comfort same as any other female.

Others here at Susan's write of successfully enduring their FFS.  When you are ready, then you will do it for your self.  You have done your homework well enough to know what you want and where you want to go.  Those are all positive steps in your own self-determination.

You have all my best wishes for your best results possible.  I am among your followers who eagerly await you to show off your results when the time comes to post them.

*

Wonderful post Sharon ...   :)

Thank you Sharon.

I know we are our own worst critics but my mission is to say adieu to him in every way possible. I'm well on my way.

The reason I'm doing this now relatively soon is I don't know how my health will hold up as I get older. I take care of myself but I have some health issues. They are well managed but I don't know for how long that will be the case. That is one reason.

I also want to do everything while I'm at my current job because when I'm done I may decide to change and go stealth. Not deep stealth but I feel I need a clean slate. I'm not 100% decided on this as nobody misgenders or deadnames me at work anymore but I don't know how people think. They may still be seeing him which bothers me.

I have some seniority right now so time off negotiation would be a lot easier. I'm not so sure how this would be at a new job.

Transition isn't the only reason I want to change jobs - I want something with a shorter commute too.

I feel the same way Kate. I've been at my job for 10 years now. I want to make a change and not have to continually be known as the trans-girl in the office for years to come. What better way to start a new life, than with a new face!!