Community Conversation => Transgender talk => Topic started by: redhot1 on December 04, 2015, 06:37:08 PM Return to Full Version

Title: I have a rare disability *may trigger*
Post by: redhot1 on December 04, 2015, 06:37:08 PM
I was diagnosed with a rare physical disability when I just turned 17. Is there any people in the transgender community who also have a physical disability? I'm afraid that if I became a transwoman, then I won't be able to present myself as well as the opposite gender. Do you have any advice as far as that goes? I still have my four limbs properly functioning, but some other things are "wrong" like posture or head moving. It is affecting the way I present myself, even as a man. And I don't know how I can go with changing my voice. My speech as a man already is a little defected and that might be because of the fine motor issues in my face muscles, but I'm not sure.

Please give me some help.
Title: Re: I have a rare disability *may trigger*
Post by: Christy76 on December 04, 2015, 06:51:16 PM
I have mild cerebral palsy in my right side. When I get tired I tend to slap my right foot down when I walk. I also walk with a slight limp. I just tend to go with it and not care much what others think. Keep in mind that cis women also sometimes have disabilities. No one is perfect, except maybe my dog. :)
Title: Re: I have a rare disability *may trigger*
Post by: haeden on December 04, 2015, 06:54:19 PM
I'm sorry to hear that. Have you spoken to your doctor about this? I have lupus, though not as sever as what you are going through I worry that it could have some affects with transitioning. So I think the best thing to do is talk to your doctor and therapist about it
Title: Re: I have a rare disability *may trigger*
Post by: Ms Grace on December 04, 2015, 07:11:08 PM
Very sorry to hear that you have this problem. It's hard enough dealing with being transgender let alone having something else like a physical disability on top. I guess my advice would be that there are likely to be some cis women who also have this condition and it might be worth checking out how they present themselves as women and deal with this condition as well.
Title: Re: I have a rare disability *may trigger*
Post by: Dena on December 04, 2015, 09:25:29 PM
Speaking in a feminine voice is a brute force thing that becomes reflex. It only a matter of tensing up the neck muscles above the larynx and no fine motor control needed for the pitch change. For people like me who's voice was really damaged by T, surgery may be needed to get the range and my voice is a combination of surgery and a trained voice neither one could do the job by themselves. Unless you have a real problem with muscle control, the voice shouldn't be a problem. It might not be perfect but may be close enough.
Title: Re: I have a rare disability *may trigger*
Post by: cheryl reeves on December 05, 2015, 04:22:05 AM
I have scoliosis and walk with a limp and shuffle my feet,I also have feet problems so prefer sandals or tennis shoes. With my care less attitude I can care less what others think,you should see the looks I get when I park in a handicap spot,been waiting for one too call the cops and find themselves getting the ticket instead of me.
Title: Re: I have a rare disability *may trigger*
Post by: V M on December 05, 2015, 05:05:43 AM
I have some physical issues which include migraine headaches, sensitivity to light, a degree of seizure activity and impaired motor functions with difficulty transferring from seated to standing positions

I was unwillingly placed on disability, I tend to just pretend everything's okay and try to act as normal as possible

I exercise and work on improving my vocal ability and other feminine aspects I feel I need improvement on and
try to not give up hope

Hugs
Title: Re: I have a rare disability *may trigger*
Post by: Lady Smith on December 05, 2015, 07:12:17 AM
I live with joint and muscle pain and have balance issues so I need to walk with a stick.  I also have narcolepsy and have problems with involuntary muscle jerks.  I used to work as a social worker in the disability sector so I pretty much do what my clients did, - get on with my life to the best of my ability.
Title: Re: I have a rare disability *may trigger*
Post by: redhot1 on December 08, 2015, 04:47:08 PM
Also, I don't want to sound like a shallow person, but I have these fears that my disability is holding me back from attracting females (cis-or-trans) that I actually find physically attractive. The only one I seemed to be with so far in a relationship I'm not physically attracted to at all. So as a female, would I be just as (if not more) physically unappealing myself than I am now?

It's breaking my heart now.
Title: Re: I have a rare disability *may trigger*
Post by: Lady Smith on December 08, 2015, 06:34:07 PM
It's a tough question alright.  My daughter who is an attractive person needs to walk with a stick when her Fibromyalgia is bad and she's noticed that she becomes 'invisible' on those occasions.  Living with a disability is a crap situation, but when it comes to being TG I feel the most important thing is being able to live as your authentic self.  Physical attractiveness is a fleeting thing, inner attractiveness of self can last your whole life long and it is that which will ultimately draw decent people to you.
Title: Re: I have a rare disability *may trigger*
Post by: CarlyMcx on December 08, 2015, 06:37:29 PM
By any chance, are we talking about dyspraxia?  I have dyspraxia, and if that is what you have, it can be very frustrating.  I spent a lot of years when I was younger learning how to walk and carry myself like a man, just so I would not get picked on by every random bully that crossed my path.  And it was a lot of work.

But that was not what was stopping me from dating attractive women.  Being broke and living with my parents, well, that was a deal breaker with most of the women I met.  You would be amazed how the quality of the women I dated improved when I finished school, got a good paying job, and moved out to my own place.  YMMV.

With regard to the dyspraxia, in my life now as a trial attorney, every move I make inside a courtroom has to be planned out ahead of time and carefully choreographed, and rehearsed by me at home.  And it is a lot of work.  But I have a life to live and bills to pay, and hard work is nothing to be afraid of, as my grandmother used to say. 

In order to transition, or even crossdress in public, I have to relearn every mannerism, and try to recover some of the feminine mannerisms I discarded as a child.  But I would never let a thing like that stop me.  I don't even know how to walk in heels yet, but my first pair is on order and should arrive a little before Christmas.  So I am either going to learn heels, or spend New Years' Eve in the hospital.