Susan's Place Transgender Resources

This poll is to satisfy my scientific curiosity!

Personally, I lean towards the don't want it/don't know category though I am open to changing my mind sometime down the road. Curious how many girls are in the same boat as me.

I am one of the already had it. When it came time to decide on surgery, I felt I was comfortable in the feminine role and I knew I would never return to the male role. I am still a virgin so you can clearly see it wasn't sexual for me but it was a matter of putting the old life behind me. It was the life and not the surgery that was my goal but I didn't know that at first. I understood that at decision time so the surgery was a graduation instead of a goal for me.

If you don't want surgery, don't have it because what's important is finding a life where you are comfortable with yourself. My idea of comfortable may be greatly different than yours. Even as far back as my surgery was, there where some girls who didn't have their surgery for a number of reasons.

Not personally. I feel very comfortable this way. I might change my mind in the future but i dont think so.


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I don't want it period. Maybe hrt on say in the future but not surgery.

The physical modifications were the ONLY thing I was interested in. SRS, HRT & electrolysis. When I had SRS that was the best day of my life.

You can keep all the lifestyle, makeup, and clothes with pleasure.

That is my ultimate goal for transition and possibly the final step. But that is a long way off. After 2 FFS procedures this year I have to build up my resources again.

Quote from: RachelsMantra on December 06, 2015, 09:07:19 AM
This poll is to satisfy my scientific curiosity!

Personally, I lean towards the don't want it/don't know category though I am open to changing my mind sometime down the road. Curious how many girls are in the same boat as me.

Hi Rachels

I was in the same boat as you. I started to transition years ago and after a few years of living full time I decided to have SRS. I got on the waiting list with Dr. Marci Bowers in June of 2014 and had SRS October 20th 2015. I feel so good about myself now. I feel complete. When I first started i like you was not sure about it. I changed my mind after a year and a half on hormones. Lots of changes can happen during that time. I would say that you will know after a period of time.

I hope this helps a little
Hugs
Lyndsey

I've gone back and forth a few times on this, so I voted "I don't know".  At the moment, I am leaning towards probably not.

Quote from: Dena on December 06, 2015, 09:47:00 AM
I am one of the already had it. When it came time to decide on surgery, I felt I was comfortable in the feminine role and I knew I would never return to the male role. I am still a virgin so you can clearly see it wasn't sexual for me but it was a matter of putting the old life behind me. It was the life and not the surgery that was my goal but I didn't know that at first. I understood that at decision time so the surgery was a graduation instead of a goal for me.

If you don't want surgery, don't have it because what's important is finding a life where you are comfortable with yourself. My idea of comfortable may be greatly different than yours. Even as far back as my surgery was, there where some girls who didn't have their surgery for a number of reasons.

Hi Dena
I am still a virgin too so you can clearly see it wasn't sexual for me ether. For me it is feeling complete, and I love my new life as a women and wished I had done it years ago. I'm so relaxed now.

Hugs
Lyndsey

I definitely want it (I'm really hoping that I'll get it done next year). I don't think that I have extreme genital dysphoria, it's more like a huge part of my gender dysphoria. What I mean is that I don't hate my genital per se as in I don't hate how it looks etc., but it is by far the thing which does remind me the most of who I don't want to be.

A once famous transgender porn star said she didnt want the surgery out of fear of losing sexual pleasure. I agree a bit.

I am a transgender woman, the penis is part of me. I have no issues with my genital. A lot of trans women are against  ->-bleeped-<-s, but to be honest I think that gives me an edge that cisgender women dont have.

I am a woman. Yes, but my penis is just a penis, it doesnt make me less of a woman because my BRAIN is female. I am already a woman. If I dont do anything.. Hormones or surgeries... I am still a woman.

I just want society to see what I am. My genitals are not a package deal of my society image. Thats for me and my lovers.

I want it, but it can be over $50K...how is anyone supposed to afford it..

sweet poll

In case anyone is interested, here is what the HRC trans survey said about GRS:

Trans women: (vaginoplasty)
Want it someday: 64%
Have had it already: 23%
Don't want it: 14%

Trans men: (metoidioplasty)
Want it someday: 53%
Have had it already: 4%
Don't want it: 44%

Trans men: (phalloplasty)
Want it someday: 27%
Have had it already: 2%
Don't want it: 72%

Quote from: Tartarus on December 06, 2015, 01:46:44 PM
I want it, but it can be over $50K...how is anyone supposed to afford it..

$50k sounds really high. If you're willing to travel, there are lots of very reputable surgeons who will do it for under $20k, and it's starting to look like it's going to be covered a lot more by insurance in the near future. Personally I want to do it, but at this rate I'll probably end up waiting until I can get it covered by insurance. I wasn't always sure though, and for a long time I thought surgery would be such a poor substitute for the real thing that it wasn't worth the pain and expense. But anymore I am just thinking that if I want to have any chance at an intimate relationship with another human being at all I've got to do it, and a lot of what I've read here about the results has been encouraging. Even if the surgery isn't perfect, I care so little for what I have now that I doubt I would regret it anyway.

Physically no, i like my bits lol and so does my wife. You gotta do what you gotta do.

Personally i think hrt will satisfy my needs physically and emotionally, everyones different!

~Shan~

Quote from: Dena on December 06, 2015, 09:47:00 AM
I am one of the already had it. When it came time to decide on surgery, I felt I was comfortable in the feminine role and I knew I would never return to the male role. I am still a virgin so you can clearly see it wasn't sexual for me but it was a matter of putting the old life behind me. It was the life and not the surgery that was my goal but I didn't know that at first. I understood that at decision time so the surgery was a graduation instead of a goal for me.

If you don't want surgery, don't have it because what's important is finding a life where you are comfortable with yourself. My idea of comfortable may be greatly different than yours. Even as far back as my surgery was, there where some girls who didn't have their surgery for a number of reasons.

Dena,

I think what you stated is probably one of the most important things that can be said on this forum......period.  It is disturbing sometimes to see posts, especially from people who are young and new, who put so much emphasis on the sexual side of transition and the related surgery.  As you well know, to have or not have surgery for many people will be the most important decision they will ever make in their life.  They need to be aware of not only all the risks associated with surgery but how it will impact nearly every aspect of your life moving forward.  Furthermore, they should take time to really understand and get in touch with their internal feelings before even considering surgery because the results are permanent and certainly not for everyone.  As with you, for me it was all about feeling whole and getting my body in sync with my mind.  The sex came in time and was only achieved because I was able to reach that comfort level long before.

When it came time to make my surgery plans, it was the easiest decision of my life. It is one I never waffled about (unlike so many others I've had concerning jobs/relationships/major purchases). I have never regretted it.  I'm still on the fence about my sexuality. I may always be so.

Cindi

I don't know f I want it; one of the reasons is that I like to have orgasms, and it seems like a lot of post op women suffer from anorgasmia. Also, it's a long recovery, and a lot of women complain about post op complications, and have to have surgical revisions. And I am already a woman, and I have a wonderful supportive husband who accepts me as I am. 

It seems I am part of the small minority who don't want to get GRS. My genitals don't give me dysphoria at all, and my BF is also very accepting and does not mind whether I go for GRS or not. Like some girls on this thread, I'm also worried that getting the surgery would cause me to lose a bit, if not most, of my sensation. Sexual sensation is extremely, extremely important for me.

I am one of those with mixed feelings.  If it was just a matter of waving the magic wand I would have been there ages ago.  The current reality of surgery and recovery requires much more of a commitment than I am ready for.  The risks and uncertainties outweigh my desire, need and ability to have a neo-vagina for now.

I will have an orchiectomy but I have coped well enough with having this anatomy that can still be part of the fun.  We will see where we are down the road.

My genitalia are a major source of dysphoria, so I'd love to have the surgery. The only reason I go back an forth on it is because I am unsure I could ever save the amount of money it takes to get it done.

I want an orchie.

I need grs

I would love to have complete grs, but mom has fistula issues and I want no part of that!

If I had more faith in medical technology, or they could do more than what is currently possible, then I'd do it -- but what is available now isn't significant enough to interest me. Maybe someday.

The media I think tends to paint GRS as the most important thing, with the rather distaste description of a "sex change operation". I think that in reality, the face is what trans people see as the most important thing. That's what people use to identify gender more than anything else.

Quote from: Elsa Delyth on December 06, 2015, 07:45:27 PM
If I had more faith in medical technology, or they could do more than what is currently possible, then I'd do it -- but what is available now isn't significant enough to interest me. Maybe someday.

The media I think tends to paint GRS as the most important thing, with the rather distaste description of a "sex change operation". I think that in reality, the face is what trans people see as the most important thing. That's what people use to identify gender more than anything else.

There is a lot of truth in what you just posted.

I've been a bit indecisive on it lately, which is strange after so many years of hoping and wishing for a way to finance such a procedure 

I realize that should the opportunity ever arise I will have to make a decision, but it has become a "I'll cross that bridge when I find it" sort of thing for me at this time

Mostly I'm a bit of a chicken and the thought of undergoing any kind of surgery frightens the stuff out of me

I marked the one that said "I want it"  And I will get it next month. Have wanted this for most of my life, but let my concerns for the welfare of others keep me from being me and taking this step.  I finally learned that much of the misery in my life was due to my unwillingness to accept myself.  I've done that now & the surgery will be a validation that I deserve.

It is more of a need than a want. I am almost at the end of the year of hrt my insurance requires. When I get my living situation straightened out surgery will be the next step.

I want it and need it and I can do it if I make the decision. My problem is a medical issue unrelated to any concern about GCS in it self. My problem is because I have no one the help me for the 3 or 4 months getting strong enough to shop and take care of daily chores and then on top of that if during the healing my Rheumatoid Arthritis goes wacko I'll be jumping off the nearest building I can find. If I find a solution to the collateral problems I'd really like to do it , but I very afraid of the pain that my body would put me through if I got unlucky and the stuff hit the fan when recovering. I have enough problems during flu season if one of those little bastards gets through.

For me getting the surgery is important and something I want as soon as I can.

I've certainly given SRS a lot of thought.  I've determined that there are only three surgeons that I would trust with the job. (Bowers, McGinn and Brassard). 

Years of hypogonadism, followed by estrogen, have left me with very little donor material.  I have less "hangy down" stuff than many CIS women. When I get out of the bath and look in the mirror, I see a woman there.
I have no interest in having sex with men.

If recovery time were shorter, dilation protocols simpler, and complications less frequent, it would be very tempting.

I could use the $20K or so needed for SRS for a sports car or a grand tour of Europe.   

I want it and would get it tomorrow if I could. I know it could be risky and the feeling could be different but me personally I have never used my genitalia anyways. I feel like my sex life would go through the roof if I get srs. I plan on getting it in the summer. Plus it's easier to wear tight clothes I hate tucking

Quote from: NataliaDoll on December 07, 2015, 12:19:44 AM
I want it and would get it tomorrow if I could. I know it could be risky and the feeling could be different but me personally I have never used my genitalia anyways. I feel like my sex life would go through the roof if I get srs. I plan on getting it in the summer. Plus it's easier to wear tight clothes I hate tucking

Tucking is a B! Even though I get tucking down as perfectly as possible, duct tape, with a gaffe and tight underwear to boot, I still get self-conscious and end up wearing long, often flowy tops that go past and cover my pubic area. It is difficult for me to pull off a normal sized T-shirt as I start getting worried a bulge is visible. Well hey, long flowy tops often scream feminine anyway.

Apparently I need the whole shebang to be right with the world.  In a year, I'll have it.

Quote from: Roni on December 07, 2015, 12:56:56 AM
Tucking is a B! Even though I get tucking down as perfectly as possible, duct tape, with a gaffe and tight underwear to boot, I still get self-conscious and end up wearing long, often flowy tops that go past and cover my pubic area. It is difficult for me to pull off a normal sized T-shirt as I start getting worried a bulge is visible. Well hey, long flowy tops often scream feminine anyway.

Yea its difficult tucking. I tend to go with a thing under any underwear, I try not to think about things too much but definatley a big fear of mine is something showing down there!! I would love to do sports again without any worry and of course get to wear a bikini with no fear.

I imagine duct tape as rather painful to take off though!!

Quote from: Wild Flower on December 06, 2015, 12:31:52 PM

I am a transgender woman, the penis is part of me. I have no issues with my genital. A lot of trans women are against  ->-bleeped-<-s, but to be honest I think that gives me an edge that cisgender women dont have.

I am a woman. Yes, but my penis is just a penis, it doesnt make me less of a woman because my BRAIN is female. I am already a woman. If I dont do anything.. Hormones or surgeries... I am still a woman.

I just want society to see what I am. My genitals are not a package deal of my society image. Thats for me and my lovers.

Bravo 100% agree. Plus, the cis girls i know think it looks sexy


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Quote from: Roni on December 07, 2015, 12:56:56 AM
Tucking is a B! Even though I get tucking down as perfectly as possible, duct tape, with a gaffe and tight underwear to boot, I still get self-conscious and end up wearing long, often flowy tops that go past and cover my pubic area. It is difficult for me to pull off a normal sized T-shirt as I start getting worried a bulge is visible. Well hey, long flowy tops often scream feminine anyway.

I use sports tape and gaff and then I put a hip/butt garment over it. I haven't had anything fall out of place in public but I wind up fixing it twice a day. I have to undo it when I pee :/

It is great for me to live with a vagina. No more tucking and sex with men is one of the best thinks I ever had. I feel so complete and so feminine with a vagina.

But if I could I just would be a CIS. I have no interest in being different. I know I am different but it should not be visible when entering a sauna or when going swizwith my twins.

Absolutely. For me I tend to be all or nothing. I was supposed to be born into a female body, so theres no point keeping my penis :P

I'm in the 'I hate tucking' camp. I mean, I don't have to do anything elaborate, just scoop it up in my panties and it stays pretty well between my legs. But I do get a lil paranoid of it slipping on occasion and it's just annoying and sometimes uncomfortable. Plus my panties never fit quite how they're intended to.. I just think it'd be more convenient with what I wear. Also, well.. I'd want it for sex, with both men and women. Especially for women, because even though some want to get with me, they have more expectations with my vestigial organ than men do! So it's something I'm considering getting done eventually. For now, I can live with it. I'm not terribly dysphoric about it, it's just annoying if anything.

Being a straight woman, yes. I was on the fence before but it is very clear to me now that I need it.

I think the longer I am on HRT, the yearning goes deeper.

I *need* it. For me to not be able to tuck would be so amazing. When I am tucking I'm not able to wear leggings and spandex type things that much it's more noticeable same with swimsuits :( I can't wait to slip on a pair of leggings without a whole process. Also it would create a sex life for me because that's the only role in comfortable with. I think it's great how we all have different opinions. Some people don't mind tucking my friend could wear a thong out with a tick and you wouldn't know :o

Very interesting to see how people feel about GRS.

I had a unique situation. The short version is:

The best day of my life was the day I went to work as a woman for the first time. I figured I'd eventually have surgery, but I was in no hurry. One day I did something at work that my employer disagreed with. They sent me to their psychiatrist who said I should have surgery prior to returning to work. At that point I was right at a year into RLE. The requirement that I have surgery before I would be allowed to continue in the career I loved above all else convinced me I needed to go ahead with it. Eventually the company found other ways to remove me.

Now, 20 years down the road, I'm living my other dream. I'm deep stealth and doing just fine. Seeing other's success stories makes me happy.

As I am at the moment (pre-hormones) I definitely want to have surgery.
I can't imagine being able to be Jessica properly without getting rid of the balls 'n chain!

It makes me very uncomfortable, I'm always aware of it's presence.
There's a small chance that I could change my mind (I've heard others have).
I've got no desire to use what's currently down there, and I hate seeing/feeling it.
Not to mention it's a nightmare when you're trying to wear a skirt or some leggings!
I know I'd be much happier without it.

I've gone back and forth but I'm in the "want it" camp for now.

I just can't wrap my head around dilation just in case I couldn't find an automatic dilator... ;D


But genital dysphoria is at an all time high. I see it poking my clothes sometimes (just barely) and "tucking" is just something I'd rather not do.

I think I want it. My wife(who supports me so far), cost and my age are all that make me think twice(that's all?).

Joanna

I fall into the "want it" camp too.  Convenience is a factor, I mean, tucking isn't a particular problem but obviously day to day life would be marginally easier if I didn't have to think about it.

So I guess this just means post-ops mostly don't stick around to do polls and maybe some that want it for some reason or another don't get it :(

I am one of those girls who is in done it camp.

For me, GRS was a no brainier as I did want to be a girl with a penis. I love my vagina. I also really wanted to experience vaginal sex, anal was fun, but not the same. The first time I experienced vaginal sex, was felt like I was in heaven.

Its been about 2 years since my op and it healed really well.

Getting GRS is not a picnic, as it is major surgery and should be treated as such. There is pain and discomfort involved and dilating the first time is not cool. But I can say, its worth it. To not have to worry about tucking is wonderful, I can wear any outfit and not worry about a lump appearing, GRS gave me confidence to enter the dating pool and now I have a wonderful boyfriend. My boyfriends says my vagina looks like any other woman's. I was scared before as you don't know a guy will react when he discovered you have a penis.

well , certainly because I'm at an early stage of my transition.
No GRS mean to me no more swimming pool, no sunbathing and a careful tucking at all time.
On the other side loosing part of my sexual sensation is real scary, do I care at the minute no sex life for at the moment (no really at ease to date anyone).
On the the day to day living it could difficult to deal with the junk... dysphoric more than ever.

For the moment I'm in the NO camp , but certainly reconsider after FFS.
But I certainly don't think by having a penis that make me less than a women...

I just had my consult w/ the surgical team & they explained to me what they are going to do to me in Apr '16. Yeech!!! I thought my gonadectomy was bad. I guess I don't have a choice. I'll have to have the final surgery. It's been a long 2+ years. Disneyland doesn't have this good a rollercoaster :laugh:   

Eventually, yes but it's not high on my priority list.

Quote from: Serenation on December 07, 2015, 11:01:15 PM
So I guess this just means post-ops mostly don't stick around to do polls and maybe some that want it for some reason or another don't get it :(

Yeah, not too many of us stick around once we are baked. It's perfectly understandable. I don't define my life by this thing. But I do want to help others along the way. That's why I am here.

Cindi

Quote from: Roni on December 06, 2015, 03:26:40 PM
It seems I am part of the small minority who don't want to get GRS. My genitals don't give me dysphoria at all, and my BF is also very accepting and does not mind whether I go for GRS or not. Like some girls on this thread, I'm also worried that getting the surgery would cause me to lose a bit, if not most, of my sensation. Sexual sensation is extremely, extremely important for me.

Hi Roni

My self I guess i'm very lucky as my sensation had been wonderful. I like it much better then before  It's like waiting a long time to get on a carnival ride but once you are on it. It keeps going and going and going till you scream to get off. It has it's peeks and valleys but wonderful. I like it 10 times better than before I had surgery. I was scared of the same thing but I had to do it as I could not live my life with my other parts down there. I'm very happy. I do know that some girls don't have any sensation down there so it is a crape shoot. You will never know unless you do it and then it is a risk that we all take that have SRS. You are the only one that can make that choice.

Hug's
lyndsey

This is something that's been going through my mind for many years.  On the one hand I want it, but on the other I'm not sure yet.  I'm also considering other surgeries such as castration or penectomy.  Then again, I may decide to not have surgery at all.  At the moment, I'm hoping to get HRT and seeing where that takes me.

I'm pretty sure that's the route I ultimately want to go so I answered yes I want it.  However, I've got a lot of steps before I get to the point of making that decision.  First, HRT.  Then maybe some other surgeries first.  I need to see what affect the estrogen has on my body and my mind before I really decide.  As it sits right now I think I do want it from a logistical perspective (I hate tucking) as well as spiritually to feel fully female.  I'll admit there is a certain sexual component too, I would some day like to experience being submissive and being penetrated during sex, but that's almost a secondary or "nice-to-have" aspect.

oooooooooooohhhhhhhhhhhh yes NOW and pre every thing. I find them annoying and sometimes uncomfortable and not been able to tuck as the boys wont go caving .

I don't have any dysphoria for that part of my body, so nah..

Quote from: Jessica May on December 07, 2015, 03:16:32 PM
As I am at the moment (pre-hormones) I definitely want to have surgery.
I can't imagine being able to be Jessica properly without getting rid of the balls 'n chain!

It makes me very uncomfortable, I'm always aware of it's presence.
There's a small chance that I could change my mind (I've heard others have).
I've got no desire to use what's currently down there, and I hate seeing/feeling it.
Not to mention it's a nightmare when you're trying to wear a skirt or some leggings!
I know I'd be much happier without it.

Since this is exactly the way I feel, I'll just say +1 :)

Since this is exactly the way I feel, I'll just say +1

And another +1

Meh. I'll pass. I could never afford that. I had an orchi several years ago. So, I'm fine.

I have never thought of myself as me with my current genital setup.

Before this is over I am going to need to fix that!! :)

Liz