Susan's Place Transgender Resources

19 Heartbreakingly Honest Confessions About Dating As A Transgender Person

Ali Velez
BuzzFeed
Nov. 25, 2015, at 7:51 p.m.

http://www.buzzfeed.com/alivelez/19-honest-confessions-about-what-its-like-to-date-as-trans#.uvJ43keZL0 (http://www.buzzfeed.com/alivelez/19-honest-confessions-about-what-its-like-to-date-as-trans#.uvJ43keZL0)

""Everyone is either disgusted by me, or they just fetishize me without treating me like an actual person." All confessions courtesy of Whisper."

It is not always some other person who is attacking a transsexual.

I know a transsexual who who fits #7 with all her complaining yet she spends her day job working at her computer and her free time at her computer.  I ask her when she goes anywhere or does anything and it's like pulling teeth - all her whining how no one wants her, how her wife and children rejected her, how she has nowhere to go for the holidays because no friend wants her, how men want her only as a novelty.

All we need to do is get off our duff and join the real world where we can find real people who love us for our real selves.  The proof is right here at this Susan's web-site.  Look at all the spouses who stay with their transsexual partner - threads listing them innumerably.  Okay, sure, there are plenty of spouses who do reject their transsexual spouse but that's a loss worth getting over and finding someone better.

I propose that all the transsexuals who have remained in their partnership or marriage and families post here or to a new thread and share what makes their partnership or marriage stay together.

Sorry to sound so harsh to some people.

I was depressed all last year - it was a bad year.  But that excuse ran dry with my counsellors and my self.  I have been restoring my life in 2015; 2016 will be open to all new possibilities.  I challenge each of us to find our future in this coming new year.

*

I'll be honest, my wife and I are still together and in love 18 months since I came out to her and 15 months into HRT, but we're still feeling our way day by day. There's no doubt the relationship has changed, sex, for example, is off the table for her, and what our marriage will end up being is anybody's guess. Some days I'm optimistic, some days I'm not.

My personal opinion, which should have zero credibility, is that dating before being at least one-year post-op can be problematic.  Anytime before that life is filled with adjustments. Adding other people to the mix will throw you off your game.

In my case, it's less "no one wants to date me" and more "I don't want to date anyone before I'm done with my transition".

Yes. Heartbreaking. Hits home, and hits hard. Nice to hear that at least I'm not alone.

:icon_cry2:

This paints a very futile picture that isn't 100% true. I will tell you that it is possible to have a happy experience with it. I get that for some it actually is very hard, and I am definitely not denying that, just saying if you want it, maybe give it a whirl and see what happens. Don't let things like this make you give up without trying.

Quote from: BunnyBee on December 14, 2015, 07:32:14 PM
Don't let things like this make you give up without trying.

No, I wouldn't. I've been trying to date for more than two years now. I'll keep trying. But I'd be lying if I said I wasn't discouraged.

When I began transitioning my relationship of 15 years ended(for other reasons. She actually wanted me back because she likes me much better now). I spent a couple of weeks under a blanket on the couch and then said <not allowed> this. I created an okcupid profile and immediately started getting dates with beautiful woman. I made a few good friends from it and had some week long flings, then one morning I walked into my motorcycle safety class and saw the woman that I would marry a year later. We've been together pretty much everyday since we met in May 11 2014 and we were married on May 22 2015. For me, dating became so much better because I met the love of my life.
(https://c2.staticflickr.com/6/5772/23130474643_674c8c6a2b_z.jpg)

  Yes, heartbreaking. I'm with #16. Sad.

Joelene

I have no interest in romance at all so dating is not a problem for me.  I feel lucky that I was spared that burden. 

Quote from: FreyasRedemption on December 14, 2015, 11:49:22 AM
In my case, it's less "no one wants to date me" and more "I don't want to date anyone before I'm done with my transition".

Same here. I have other issues to deal with too. I'm not dating until I'm post op and free to date even though I have many opportunities.