Susan's Place Transgender Resources

Probably just like every transgender person, my biggest fear is not looking the part. I am Mtf, and 24 years old. I've gone through a lot in life and feel like I am in the best place I've ever been, emotionally. Transitioning is a fear due to being scared of being name called, physically assaulted, etc. I know that it's something that a lot of transgender people go through, but it's something that has affected me severely in the past.

Is it possible to get FFS and HRT? I can't remember what it was but I thought I read something about having to go full-time first before being allowed to do something(can't remember what that something was, though).

Depending on where you live, HRT before cross living is pretty common. FFS sometimes can be obtained early on but it may not be a good idea until you have gone full time for a while. It's not uncommon for people to abandon full time for a while and then return to the transition. With FFS it may be difficult for you to return to boy mode. After you have some time full time you can better judge if you will continue the transition. There is one other issue. FFS will do nothing to calm your nerves when you are starting full time. You will be just as nervous with or without FFS.

Quote from: Dena on December 20, 2015, 07:21:34 PM
Depending on where you live, HRT before cross living is pretty common. FFS sometimes can be obtained early on but it may not be a good idea until you have gone full time for a while. It's not uncommon for people to abandon full time for a while and then return to the transition. With FFS it may be difficult for you to return to boy mode. After you have some time full time you can better judge if you will continue the transition. There is one other issue. FFS will do nothing to calm your nerves when you are starting full time. You will be just as nervous with or without FFS.

This ^^^


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I understand and agree with most of what is written above.  HRT followed by full time full time should come first.  However, for some it is impractical.  I was one of them.

I was essentially on HRT for 14 months prior to FFS.  I did dress as me and I did go out.  But every time I went out, it was a tramatic experience.  There is not passing and there is passing so poorly that store clerks run away, wait staff exchange tables, other transgendered individuals don't make eye contact and sexual predators circle like sharks.  I had full FFS with Zukowski and went full time after that.  There was very little RLE.

The danger of regret was very real.  The danger of not trying was worse.  I do not recommend FFS before Full Time.  However, I do recognize desperate measures.

Hugs

Jen

Quote from: JLT1 on December 20, 2015, 11:11:21 PM
I understand and agree with most of what is written above.  HRT followed by full time full time should come first.  However, for some it is impractical.  I was one of them.

I was essentially on HRT for 14 months prior to FFS.  I did dress as me and I did go out.  But every time I went out, it was a tramatic experience.  There is not passing and there is passing so poorly that store clerks run away, wait staff exchange tables, other transgendered individuals don't make eye contact and sexual predators circle like sharks.  I had full FFS with Zukowski and went full time after that.  There was very little RLE.

The danger of regret was very real.  The danger of not trying was worse.  I do not recommend FFS before Full Time.  However, I do recognize desperate measures.

Hugs

Jen

Hi,

so you had FFS before you did full-time?

My concern of doing full time without looking female is exactly the reasons you stated, sales clerks, waiters etc.

I have found that that when it come to sales clerks and waiters the only thing that matters is the color of your money. If I were ever treated rudely, I would take my money to someplace else that appreciates me. I remained with several business because they treated me properly when I went through my transition.

Quote from: Far_from_Grace on December 21, 2015, 10:28:02 PM

Hi,

so you had FFS before you did full-time?

My concern of doing full time without looking female is exactly the reasons you stated, sales clerks, waiters etc.

Try going out a few times...  Get to know you.

But, yes, I had FFS before I went full time.

Waiters were fine.  A lot of people were fine.  Most were not fine.  Go to page 8 of the cerrent "before and after" thread.  I didn't look good.  I had an $80,000, 15 hours under FFS.   After I lost 81 lbs.  I was motivated. 

Best decision I made.  But I was also desperate, suicidal, we'll off and had good insurance. 

You asked if it was possible.  Yes.  I do not recommend it in less than a life or death situation.

Jen

I had also FFS and went fulltime direct after surgery. I started with HRT which did nothing for my passing. I just looked like a old man in women's cloths. No chance ever to live as woman. I also had GRS only three months later.

There is a huge difference between living fulltime and living as a woman. A person can break on the challenges during living fulltime. It can be a terrible experience which has nothing to do with our own identity.

But course you can destroy your own life with making the wrong decision. I was sure at one point that I am a woman and I will not regret anything.

I do not recommend going my way. I recommend that you should find out who you are and to take the necessary steps to find out. Everything else becomes very clear than

Ffs is an elective procedure which has no requirements except whatever your surgeon had you sign off.

I've known several girls who only went FullTime after their ffs. I think it's a valid approach. I had mine 5 months after I went FT. I initially wanted to wait till after ffs, but made a personal decision that the time would be better spent acclimating to the female world. But it's an individual decision and you'll have to decide which approach works best for your situation.

As far as I know, all surgeries for transition other than srs, are performed by consent. I think it's sad that it takes more effort to change what's between your legs than what's on your face.

I had insurance coverage for FFS and I posted my letter from my psych as an example letter in the "How I got FFS paid for by insurance" thread.  I had a long term and very complete evaluation period with my psych prior to FFS.  I felt that the evaluation was necessary and helpful. It also was key to coverage.

I do respectfully disagree that FFS is elective.  I do believe that on some cases, some or even rarely all procedures are elective.  However, for some, it is a very necessary procedure.  Perhaps even more necessary than GCS.

Jen

I only went full time after having FFS, which was at just over a year of HRT at the time. Ultimately if you feel you can trust yourself to make the decision then do it. I was confident that it was the right decision for me in my life and my transition and it has worked out that way.

I went with the Facial Team and they did ask for a note from my doctor to basically confirm I was in a gender reassignment programme of some kind.

Quote from: TerriT on December 22, 2015, 12:01:09 AM
Ffs is an elective procedure which has no requirements except whatever your surgeon had you sign off.

I've known several girls who only went FullTime after their ffs. I think it's a valid approach. I had mine 5 months after I went FT.
I initially wanted to wait till after ffs, but made a personal decision that the time would be better spent acclimating to the female world. But it's an individual decision and you'll have to decide which approach works best for your situation.

As far as I know, all surgeries for transition other than srs, are performed by consent. I think it's sad that it takes more effort to change what's between your legs than what's on your face.

I very much agree with you.  I am definitely going for FFS before RLE.  I want things stacked in my favor as much as possible. I do not view FFS as crossing the Rubicon. If I decide not to transition at that point, I can live with being an effeminate looking male. Looks coarsen with age, anyway.  I'll be the best looking geezer in the nursing home, lol!

BTW, I love your name. You're a very pretty lady.

With kindness,

Terri 

Quote from: Charlotte_W on December 22, 2015, 01:48:45 PM
I only went full time after having FFS, which was at just over a year of HRT at the time. Ultimately if you feel you can trust yourself to make the decision then do it. I was confident that it was the right decision for me in my life and my transition and it has worked out that way.

I went with the Facial Team and they did ask for a note from my doctor to basically confirm I was in a gender reassignment programme of some kind.

Hi Charlotte,

That is good to know.  Your plan sounds a lot like my plan.  I have read it is best to wait at least a year after HRT before FFS to see what soft tissue changes take place before any surgery. I am also convinced this is the right way to go. I can only hope to be half as beautiful  as you!

With kindness,

Terri

My personal thoughts; I considered FFS early on regardless of any debt it would put me in, however I'm learning now after dawning upon the lovely existance of trying to be full time.. It's really an emotional and mental thing and not so much a physical one (that's not saying that nice clothes and lots of bathroom time doesn't help!) sooo im reconsidering now and I'd like to focus on HRT for a few years before i get any surgery (if any at all!)
Why? Because it would be a shock! I need to learn how to live in my most comfortable form first. Go full time! :D

Quote from: Far_from_Grace on December 20, 2015, 07:12:27 PM
Probably just like every transgender person, my biggest fear is not looking the part. I am Mtf, and 24 years old. I've gone through a lot in life and feel like I am in the best place I've ever been, emotionally. Transitioning is a fear due to being scared of being name called, physically assaulted, etc. I know that it's something that a lot of transgender people go through, but it's something that has affected me severely in the past.

Is it possible to get FFS and HRT? I can't remember what it was but I thought I read something about having to go full-time first before being allowed to do something(can't remember what that something was, though).

I know someone personally who had FFS, not before starting HRT, but before going full time. They were still living publicly as male and had their FFS and then boom they switched over. To each their own. That said, I would not recommend doing FFS before HRT (though I'm sure some surgeons will do it). HRT will do wonders to soften your face and features.

I understand where you're coming from. I struggled a bit before choosing to transition (at around the same age you are now). It's easy to dream of way to achieve insta-passability. But it's just not how it works. As my best friend put it when I was weighing transitioning, "you have to accept that there will be a period in which you look like a man in a dress... And then you won't." And that's true. I went full time FAST. And I didn't remotely "pass" when I did. I was clearly a trans person. And then one day, I did. But also, not to sound like a broken record, but one of my biggest lessons of the first year of my transition is that "passing" is not the be all and end all. Transition isn't a race, it's a marathon ;-).


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Yes hrt and ffs are important and are quite necessary for many women to live normally and become passable so doing it pre transition shouldn't be a problem.

Quote from: JLT1 on December 22, 2015, 10:30:36 AM
However, for some, it is a very necessary procedure.  Perhaps even more necessary than GCS.

I couldn't agree more!

Is there any ffs to get early that would be suitable or not overboard? i wonder how many micro procedures there are :P

I transitioned in 1989 after completing all my body and facial electrolysis.

I had been on hormones already for two years so my face was soft and feminine.

I never had passing issues before FFS and still don't although my face is not as natural as it was pre FFS and due to the poor FFS surgery, people who get to know me do look at my scars. But they don't guess I am TG, I sincerely hope.

In answer to your question, my advice would be to start hormone therapy, get your face cleared of any facial hair and depending on your situation maybe get FFS done but please please do your research thoroughly.

Great post Dana ... :)

Quote from: Dana88 on December 22, 2015, 07:19:08 PM
I know someone personally who had FFS, not before starting HRT, but before going full time. They were still living publicly as male and had their FFS and then boom they switched over. To each their own. That said, I would not recommend doing FFS before HRT (though I'm sure some surgeons will do it). HRT will do wonders to soften your face and features.

I understand where you're coming from. I struggled a bit before choosing to transition (at around the same age you are now). It's easy to dream of way to achieve insta-passability. But it's just not how it works. As my best friend put it when I was weighing transitioning, "you have to accept that there will be a period in which you look like a man in a dress... And then you won't." And that's true. I went full time FAST. And I didn't remotely "pass" when I did. I was clearly a trans person. And then one day, I did. But also, not to sound like a broken record, but one of my biggest lessons of the first year of my transition is that "passing" is not the be all and end all. Transition isn't a race, it's a marathon ;-).


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