Community Conversation => Transgender talk => Topic started by: Larisa on December 25, 2015, 10:27:13 AM Return to Full Version
Title: Nervous about one thing today
Post by: Larisa on December 25, 2015, 10:27:13 AM
Post by: Larisa on December 25, 2015, 10:27:13 AM
Okay so there is 2 people who might come over today for an hour. They are older like in their 80's and we have known them a long time. She is fine but he is well legalistic. He pulled something last year with me that well offended me badly. He sat right down, got on his arrogant attitude of how gay and trans people are garbage and sin and are terrible. It made me uncomfortable and I just walked away.
This is what Im afraid of today. Mom just told to say hey Ive got to go get a drink or some excuse and walk away if he starts. It freaks me out. Like my mom has called him homophobic and she doesnt call anyone that usually. I think he of the same way. My dad was annoyed by this side of him as well. He can be a good person but this is not one side and he likes to let people know how he hates gay and trans people.
It even more freaks me out as Ive partly transitioned. I mean come on underneath a hoodie and jeans is me a girl and if he saw my shaved legs and shaved arms. If he saw my painted nails on my feet or on my finger nails. If he knew I wear only panties now, a girls shirt and knew what I feel, I feel he would ya attack me. I mean my necklaces would anger him he's so against gay and trans people. Luckily my mom wouldnt allow him to do this to me if he knew. If my mom knew I were a girl, not a boy, I know she wouldnt let him near me nor would have my dad when he was alive. We had a cousin who was gay and my mom told me she and my dad wouldnt have let this guy near him.
Just a tad nervous. God bless my mom for being there today and that it's only an hour.
This is what Im afraid of today. Mom just told to say hey Ive got to go get a drink or some excuse and walk away if he starts. It freaks me out. Like my mom has called him homophobic and she doesnt call anyone that usually. I think he of the same way. My dad was annoyed by this side of him as well. He can be a good person but this is not one side and he likes to let people know how he hates gay and trans people.
It even more freaks me out as Ive partly transitioned. I mean come on underneath a hoodie and jeans is me a girl and if he saw my shaved legs and shaved arms. If he saw my painted nails on my feet or on my finger nails. If he knew I wear only panties now, a girls shirt and knew what I feel, I feel he would ya attack me. I mean my necklaces would anger him he's so against gay and trans people. Luckily my mom wouldnt allow him to do this to me if he knew. If my mom knew I were a girl, not a boy, I know she wouldnt let him near me nor would have my dad when he was alive. We had a cousin who was gay and my mom told me she and my dad wouldnt have let this guy near him.
Just a tad nervous. God bless my mom for being there today and that it's only an hour.
Title: Re: Nervous about one thing today
Post by: Qrachel on December 25, 2015, 11:25:24 AM
Post by: Qrachel on December 25, 2015, 11:25:24 AM
Hi Larisa:
It sounds as if your parents don't know yet . . . this is part of the craziness that precedes coming out (not a suggestion to do so, just an observation). If you have your finger nails done, that will be obvious but perhaps you are selective about displaying them, including to your mom and dad.
The best thing for you to do is be socially adept at not engaging him, and keeping his entreaties to a minimum and as short as socially possible.
Good luck and BTW: is there a safety concern because family doesn't know about you.
It sounds as if your parents don't know yet . . . this is part of the craziness that precedes coming out (not a suggestion to do so, just an observation). If you have your finger nails done, that will be obvious but perhaps you are selective about displaying them, including to your mom and dad.
The best thing for you to do is be socially adept at not engaging him, and keeping his entreaties to a minimum and as short as socially possible.
Good luck and BTW: is there a safety concern because family doesn't know about you.
Title: Re: Nervous about one thing today
Post by: Deborah on December 25, 2015, 11:36:37 AM
Post by: Deborah on December 25, 2015, 11:36:37 AM
If he's 80 then he'll never change so your best action, considering it's Christmas is just to smile and walk away. I know things like that can hurt so just tell yourself he's an idiot and let it pass. And remember to smile, with that on your face your mood will follow.
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
Title: Re: Nervous about one thing today
Post by: Larisa on December 25, 2015, 02:31:06 PM
Post by: Larisa on December 25, 2015, 02:31:06 PM
Quote from: Qrachel on December 25, 2015, 11:25:24 AM
Hi Larisa:
It sounds as if your parents don't know yet . . . this is part of the craziness that precedes coming out (not a suggestion to do so, just an observation). If you have your finger nails done, that will be obvious but perhaps you are selective about displaying them, including to your mom and dad.
The best thing for you to do is be socially adept at not engaging him, and keeping his entreaties to a minimum and as short as socially possible.
Good luck and BTW: is there a safety concern because family doesn't know about you.
My dad knows as he passed away a little over 2 years ago but my mom doesn't know. Also my finger nails are painted clear. No one guesses so no it's good.
As for him, I know that its just him being dumb and ignorent as my family disagrees with him on his hate and my mom and dad doesnt appreciate his attitude. If my mom felt like it was safety issue and knew I'm actually a girl, she wouldn't let him near me. It's sad he thinks like that but yes I can't change him nor should I. We just try ignore his ignorent hateful view on it. He's luckily not been here yet.
Title: Re: Nervous about one thing today
Post by: Larisa on December 25, 2015, 07:09:47 PM
Post by: Larisa on December 25, 2015, 07:09:47 PM
He never showed up today and I like everyone was thankful he did not. It has been such a relief for me to not have to deal with him.
Title: Re: Nervous about one thing today
Post by: Debra on December 26, 2015, 11:45:00 AM
Post by: Debra on December 26, 2015, 11:45:00 AM
Quote from: Larisa1983 on December 25, 2015, 07:09:47 PM
He never showed up today and I like everyone was thankful he did not. It has been such a relief for me to not have to deal with him.
Oh good I'm glad