Susan's Place Transgender Resources

Ok,

This question is specifically for all you crossdressers who chose to do HRT but remain a crossdresser and not transition.

I am curious how many out there have not fully transitioned and consider themselves a crossdresser with advantages from HRT.

Specifically:
- did HRT make passing as a male in your normal daytime role difficult?
- did HRT change anything in your crossdressing routine?
- what caused you to stay as a crossdresser with HRT advantages?

I understand this topic may cross several boundaries, but I am looking mainly for those who continue to identify as crossdresser.

A little background for myself:  I only recently came out to my wife as a crossdresser and am still trying to figure out what the heck I am going to do with my life.  I am a forty-something genetic male married with my first child (still under 1 year old).  I don't know if I want to go any further than crossdressing.  My wife and I are still in discussion.

Thank you in advance for your responses.

I don't think you crossed any boundaries here.  :) 

I'm not sure I'm who you're looking for, but I initially identified as a crossdresser who wanted some slight feminization. I went on an herbal supplements regimen to achieve the results I wanted. Currently I view myself as a crossdresser/bi-gender/genderfluid/two-spirit transgender person. I know I'm not male, I know I'm not female.


Specifically:
- did HRT make passing as a male in your normal daytime role difficult?  I'm usually taken as female, but people frequently switch to male when addressing me

- did HRT change anything in your crossdressing routine? Well, I dress as female almost exclusively now.

- what caused you to stay as a crossdresser with HRT advantages? I'm just going where life takes me!

I hope this helps!

Hugs, Devlyn

Quote from: Devlyn Marie on December 28, 2015, 11:47:11 AM
I don't think you crossed any boundaries here.  :) 

I'm not sure I'm who you're looking for, but I initially identified as a crossdresser who wanted some slight feminization. I went on an herbal supplements regimen to achieve the results I wanted. Currently I view myself as a crossdresser/bi-gender/genderfluid/two-spirit transgender person. I know I'm not male, I know I'm not female.


Specifically:
- did HRT make passing as a male in your normal daytime role difficult?  I'm usually taken as female, but people frequently switch to male when addressing me

- did HRT change anything in your crossdressing routine? Well, I dress as female almost exclusively now.

- what caused you to stay as a crossdresser with HRT advantages? I'm just going where life takes me!

I hope this helps!

Hugs, Devlyn

Devlyn,

Thank you for responding!

Yes, that is exactly what I am looking for.  As I explore the newfound freedom of having come out to my wife, I am learning more every day of what it is I want from my crossdressing.  I will admit I'm a bit of an OCD researcher and like to understand all aspects of a topic before I proceed.  So far, crossdressing seems to be answering what I assume is my gender dysphoria.  While HRT might help me with my crossdressing, it might cause complications with my marriage!

So yes, you r answers help.

It has been about three weeks since I have come out to my wife, and in that time, I have built my own basic wardrobe.  And while she doesn't really like my crossdressing, she seems to be accepting me for what I am (for now).  At the moment, I am typing this while dressed (neck down) with forms in.  Progress, I'd say.

Thank you again.

Hi TechGirl,

Sorry to crash this thread, but I was rather fascinated by your POV.

Oh, before I go any further, I love your avatar!  That minion is soooo cute!

Back to business: I have to ask.  What do crossdressers get out of crossdressing if they don't yearn to be female?  Is it a "just visiting" kind of thing, a nice fantasy?  I have crossdressed most of my life, but it was a desperate salve to heal an open wound.  It kept me alive, my vaccine against the dysphoria. 

HRT has brought me so much peace. It has quelled the dysphoria, but ironically, I don't have that same desire to get dressed and made up anymore.  I used to live for that. Now I just throw on a t-shirt dress and some earrings, and I am fine just being me.   It's not just the HRT.  It is the decision to transition. I have hope now, a path forward.  I may not get to the end of the rainbow, but I know where I want to go.

So if you don't want womanhood, what do you want?

With kindness,

Terri 

Quote from: Maybebaby56 on December 28, 2015, 06:06:40 PM
Hi TechGirl,

Sorry to crash this thread, but I was rather fascinated by your POV.

Oh, before I go any further, I love your avatar!  That minion is soooo cute!

Back to business: I have to ask.  What do crossdressers get out of crossdressing if they don't yearn to be female?  Is it a "just visiting" kind of thing, a nice fantasy?  I have crossdressed most of my life, but it was a desperate salve to heal an open wound.  It kept me alive, my vaccine against the dysphoria. 

HRT has brought me so much peace. It has quelled the dysphoria, but ironically, I don't have that same desire to get dressed and made up anymore.  I used to live for that. Now I just throw on a t-shirt dress and some earrings, and I am fine just being me.   It's not just the HRT.  It is the decision to transition. I have hope now, a path forward.  I may not get to the end of the rainbow, but I know where I want to go.

So if you don't want womanhood, what do you want?

With kindness,

Terri

Good question all.  So far I'm not sure what I want.  I know that I gain some sense of completeness as a person when dressing.

However, I have many things to balance:  growing a family, keeping family intact, work life (transgender not authorized...yet), and lastly, still confused about what I ultimately want.

Right now I think I'm still in the discovery phase.  I have been openly dressing at home for only a few days now and have stopped getting "those" looks from my wife.  She is interacting with me almost the same as before I came out to her.

I suppose then that balance is what I get out of dressing.  I tuck, have both silicone and foam breast forms, occasionally use femine bath products (soap, body wash, deodorant, etc...), even used a body spray today.  I get to participate with society as my genetic self (thereby keeping my job and family) while still being able to relax with my feminine side.

Hope that helps.  Mind you I'm still on my own path of discovery, but there you have it.

And thank you for the comment on my avatar.  Love the minions!

Hi TechGirl,
Firstly, I identify as a male but with a large female component. I really enjoy my time when out as Janet. My wife is tolerant - but wishes it would go away. As to your specific queries, there is also what I would call an "in-between" path, not going without HRT but not full HRT.

Several years ago, I tried a milder form of feminisation using a low dose synthetic estrogen combined with cyproterone, an anti-androgen. <Subject not permitted>

The results were fantastic for me... for a while.  The upside was my previously oily skin cleared within days, body hair, once waxed away came back as barely noticeable peach fuzz and over a period of 12 months, I developed a very nice cleavage (probably almost a C cup).

This improved passability a lot as I always had a problem with makeup going claggy and looking draggy and that hassle disappeared, leaving me with quite a femme finish. Once when wearing a low cut top exposing a little bit of bra, my hairdresser commented on my bustline and asked if I had had implants. She had seen me in both femme and drab modes and looked confused when I answered NO. So in a nutshell, lovely softer skin and budding breasts.

On the downside, I developed surface vein thromboses (SVTs) in my upper thighs and stopped taking them immediately. Thrombosis or clots, are a potential danger with any HRT and I thought a low dose tab would be a low or no risk option. Not so.

did HRT make passing as a male in your normal daytime role difficult The change in skin texture went largely unnoticed, as I have had electrolysis and been waxing for years. The breast development has presented problems while swimming. I now wear a rashie which tends to bind them down and actually make me look more muscular.  Under normal male shirts again it looks as though I've been in the gym. It's just a hassle as I can't go topless anymore.

did HRT change anything in your crossdressing routine Yes. I felt much more feminine and comfortable when out shopping, especially in "women only" spaces, eg rest rooms, beauty salons. When eating out in male mode with my wife, we were addressed as "hello ladies" on several occasions which unnerved my wife a bit. I did have quite long hair then.

And the answer to your last question is NO. I'm not a CD on HRT or even part HRT now as my health is more important.  It was fantastic fun while it lasted though.

Hope this helps as I can empathise with the situation you find yourself in now.
Fond regards,
Janet

Mod Edit: Removed forbidden subject

hi, all. Long time listener, first time caller.

TechGirl, this is a fascinating topic for me, thank you for raising it. I've been trying to "figure out" my identity for, gosh, decades, and I've always been really uncomfortable with the term "crossdresser". It seems too cheap, sordid, trashy, demeaning. I prefer to think of myself as somewhere on the trans* spectrum, even if I'm not sure where.

After spending a few months talking to a gender therapist, I am making a lot of progress. I don't think I need to transition. I do think it is extremely important that I incorporate the femme side into my life somehow. I think that leaves me in a place some would call "ambigendered", and some would call "crossdresser". I'm getting more comfortable with that.

Even the subject line you chose for this topic sort of blows my mind! A crossdresser on HRT... wow, that is a level of investment in my femininity I hadn't thought possible until just recently. It took me a while to realize that most of the books I've read on "transgender" or "transsexual" start with a very inclusive view -- "you're embarking on an amazing journey!" -- and they all end with SRS. That doesn't speak to me very much. When I started (very reluctantly) looking for books using the keyword "crossdresser" instead, I found a wider range. I was really amazed by Baby Steps in Sky High Heels: A Crossdresser's Guide to the Tgirl Lifestyle which spoke to this new understanding: living as a man, going out as a woman. The idea that it might be possible also to do HRT, and maybe some surgery, really opens up the possibilities.

I'd be interested to hear about other role models. I know there are a lot of folks in the "genderqueer" space, but my interest is in the ends of the spectrum, the male men and the female women. But I am definitely excited about exploring this more, and I think 2016 will be a big year for me. I'm already hard at work on it  :-)

Terri, to respond to your question from my own point of view... for me, crossdressing is not a salve or a halfway step to a transition, but something different. I want to be a woman. But I am fairly comfortable being a man and I do not have much physical dysphoria: longing, perhaps, but not dysphoria. I don't think I need to transition or live full time as a woman, at least not enough to go through that process. I could be wrong, and I could change my mind. For now, being able to play both roles is very appealing. Finding a highly gendered in-between space that allows me to still do both, and incorporate my existing equipment -- "pre-op" or "ladyboy" or something like that -- seems like the best of all possible worlds.

Quote from: emma.pneumatic on January 02, 2016, 04:31:10 PM
hi, all. Long time listener, first time caller.

TechGirl, this is a fascinating topic for me, thank you for raising it. I've been trying to "figure out" my identity for, gosh, decades, and I've always been really uncomfortable with the term "crossdresser". It seems too cheap, sordid, trashy, demeaning. I prefer to think of myself as somewhere on the trans* spectrum, even if I'm not sure where.

After spending a few months talking to a gender therapist, I am making a lot of progress. I don't think I need to transition. I do think it is extremely important that I incorporate the femme side into my life somehow. I think that leaves me in a place some would call "ambigendered", and some would call "crossdresser". I'm getting more comfortable with that.

Even the subject line you chose for this topic sort of blows my mind! A crossdresser on HRT... wow, that is a level of investment in my femininity I hadn't thought possible until just recently. It took me a while to realize that most of the books I've read on "transgender" or "transsexual" start with a very inclusive view -- "you're embarking on an amazing journey!" -- and they all end with SRS. That doesn't speak to me very much. When I started (very reluctantly) looking for books using the keyword "crossdresser" instead, I found a wider range. I was really amazed by Baby Steps in Sky High Heels: A Crossdresser's Guide to the Tgirl Lifestyle which spoke to this new understanding: living as a man, going out as a woman. The idea that it might be possible also to do HRT, and maybe some surgery, really opens up the possibilities.

I'd be interested to hear about other role models. I know there are a lot of folks in the "genderqueer" space, but my interest is in the ends of the spectrum, the male men and the female women. But I am definitely excited about exploring this more, and I think 2016 will be a big year for me. I'm already hard at work on it  :-)

Terri, to respond to your question from my own point of view... for me, crossdressing is not a salve or a halfway step to a transition, but something different. I want to be a woman. But I am fairly comfortable being a man and I do not have much physical dysphoria: longing, perhaps, but not dysphoria. I don't think I need to transition or live full time as a woman, at least not enough to go through that process. I could be wrong, and I could change my mind. For now, being able to play both roles is very appealing. Finding a highly gendered in-between space that allows me to still do both, and incorporate my existing equipment -- "pre-op" or "ladyboy" or something like that -- seems like the best of all possible worlds.

Emma,


Glad you liked.  Since I've started this three though, I've come to realize that the moment we start modifying our bodies, we leave the realm of crossdresser behind and start on the path of transexuality. 

However, there must be room for a partial transsexual out there.  If we modify our bodies but can pass for both, are we asexual then?  I need to read the wiki a little deeper it seems.

TechGirl

> I've come to realize that the moment we start modifying our bodies, we leave the realm of crossdresser behind and start on the path of transexuality.

I'd like to push back on this idea. You say "modifying our bodies", but could that include shaving our legs? Or plucking our eyebrows? Or getting LASIK so we can go out without glasses? I don't think there needs to be any sharp line. Anyway, I was really pleased with your choice of subject line, and I like the idea that a crossdresser could start HRT if it improves their dressing.

> However, there must be room for a partial transsexual out there.

One of the issues I'm getting past is my own internalized idea that only transsexuals who go through SRS are "real" transsexuals, and then the others must be "partial" or "incomplete" or something. I think this idea is subtly promoted by almost all public discussions of transsexuality. But I also think it's false and somewhat dangerous. Look at the anxiety around Caitlyn Jenner's change and you see a lot of commentary on whether she still has a penis and whether she's "really" a woman. But in fact a large number of transsexuals don't get SRS, especially FTMs. I don't think it's right to privilege the folks who get SRS and to call others "partial".

For me, the (very recent) recognition that there are possibilities along the spectrum that are highly gendered, but that are further along than crossdressing and less drastic than SRS... that's very liberating. I think there is a lot for people like me out there, but I don't really understand how to talk about it yet. I obviously need to hang out on the "non-binary" forum more :)

> If we modify our bodies but can pass for both, are we asexual then? 

I would suggest that "genderqueer" (or "androgynous", or other terms) might be appropriate for people who are midway along the gender line, but I am finding that "ambigender" or "bigender" make more sense for me. I want to be on one side or the other -- not androgynous -- and I want to be able to switch. That definitely doesn't make me asexual :)

Quote from: emma.pneumatic on January 02, 2016, 06:23:19 PM
> I've come to realize that the moment we start modifying our bodies, we leave the realm of crossdresser behind and start on the path of transexuality.

I'd like to push back on this idea. You say "modifying our bodies", but could that include shaving our legs? Or plucking our eyebrows? Or getting LASIK so we can go out without glasses? I don't think there needs to be any sharp line. Anyway, I was really pleased with your choice of subject line, and I like the idea that a crossdresser could start HRT if it improves their dressing.

After reviewing the wiki on transsexual, you may be right on this.  The wiki starts out with "Transsexual people identify as, or desire to live and be accepted as, a member of the sex opposite to that assigned at birth."  It continues with "Many transsexual people have a wish to alter their bodies."  It does not state that all want to change their bodies.

Quote from: emma.pneumatic on January 02, 2016, 06:23:19 PM
> However, there must be room for a partial transsexual out there.

One of the issues I'm getting past is my own internalized idea that only transsexuals who go through SRS are "real" transsexuals, and then the others must be "partial" or "incomplete" or something. I think this idea is subtly promoted by almost all public discussions of transsexuality. But I also think it's false and somewhat dangerous. Look at the anxiety around Caitlyn Jenner's change and you see a lot of commentary on whether she still has a penis and whether she's "really" a woman. But in fact a large number of transsexuals don't get SRS, especially FTMs. I don't think it's right to privilege the folks who get SRS and to call others "partial".

For me, the (very recent) recognition that there are possibilities along the spectrum that are highly gendered, but that are further along than crossdressing and less drastic than SRS... that's very liberating. I think there is a lot for people like me out there, but I don't really understand how to talk about it yet. I obviously need to hang out on the "non-binary" forum more :)

Can't disagree there.  One thing I would point out though is that transsexual or crossdresser, we are definitely in the realm of ->-bleeped-<-.

Quote from: emma.pneumatic on January 02, 2016, 06:23:19 PM
> If we modify our bodies but can pass for both, are we asexual then? 

I would suggest that "genderqueer" (or "androgynous", or other terms) might be appropriate for people who are midway along the gender line, but I am finding that "ambigender" or "bigender" make more sense for me. I want to be on one side or the other -- not androgynous -- and I want to be able to switch. That definitely doesn't make me asexual :)

After reviewing the wiki, I will agree to genderqueer.  However, I don't like it.  The word queer has too much bad reputation.  I think it might be time to introduce a new term other than genderqueer.  Genderneutral maybe?

Love the discussion.  Keep it coming :-)

Quote from: emma.pneumatic on January 02, 2016, 04:31:10 PM
hi, all. Long time listener, first time caller.

TechGirl, this is a fascinating topic for me, thank you for raising it. I've been trying to "figure out" my identity for, gosh, decades, and I've always been really uncomfortable with the term "crossdresser". It seems too cheap, sordid, trashy, demeaning. I prefer to think of myself as somewhere on the trans* spectrum, even if I'm not sure where.

After spending a few months talking to a gender therapist, I am making a lot of progress. I don't think I need to transition. I do think it is extremely important that I incorporate the femme side into my life somehow. I think that leaves me in a place some would call "ambigendered", and some would call "crossdresser". I'm getting more comfortable with that.

Even the subject line you chose for this topic sort of blows my mind! A crossdresser on HRT... wow, that is a level of investment in my femininity I hadn't thought possible until just recently. It took me a while to realize that most of the books I've read on "transgender" or "transsexual" start with a very inclusive view -- "you're embarking on an amazing journey!" -- and they all end with SRS. That doesn't speak to me very much. When I started (very reluctantly) looking for books using the keyword "crossdresser" instead, I found a wider range. I was really amazed by Baby Steps in Sky High Heels: A Crossdresser's Guide to the Tgirl Lifestyle which spoke to this new understanding: living as a man, going out as a woman. The idea that it might be possible also to do HRT, and maybe some surgery, really opens up the possibilities.

I'd be interested to hear about other role models. I know there are a lot of folks in the "genderqueer" space, but my interest is in the ends of the spectrum, the male men and the female women. But I am definitely excited about exploring this more, and I think 2016 will be a big year for me. I'm already hard at work on it  :-)

Terri, to respond to your question from my own point of view... for me, crossdressing is not a salve or a halfway step to a transition, but something different. I want to be a woman. But I am fairly comfortable being a man and I do not have much physical dysphoria: longing, perhaps, but not dysphoria. I don't think I need to transition or live full time as a woman, at least not enough to go through that process. I could be wrong, and I could change my mind. For now, being able to play both roles is very appealing. Finding a highly gendered in-between space that allows me to still do both, and incorporate my existing equipment -- "pre-op" or "ladyboy" or something like that -- seems like the best of all possible worlds.

Gee, when you put it that way, it makes me glad it says crossdresser right under my picture!  >:-)

Hugs, Devlyn

QuoteGee, when you put it that way, it makes me glad it says crossdresser right under my picture!  >:-)

whoops, sorry... :-(  No offense intended! Terminology is treacherous.

I guess I'm mostly thinking of how crossdressing is perceived in society broadly, like jokes about J Edgar Hoover or whatever. And I've definitely internalized that to the point where I feel like "transsexual" (ending with SRS) is the "most serious", and that tends to leave crossdressing (and everything else) as a sort of very weak and unserious substitute.  I think even the trans* and queer communities often prioritize in this way. And I'm really trying to get past that.

A lot of this is the terminology: I still don't know what terms to apply to myself! "Ambigender" (or bigender) seems closest to me, and I've only just discovered those. I don't mean to question your own identification, Devlyn, but just to express my reaction to the words: In my mind, if you can say "I know I'm not male, I know I'm not female", that sounds to me much more transgendered/genderfluid/two-spirit than it does like crossdresser.  I've always thought of "crossdresser" as a man, usually straight, who sometimes wears women's clothes. But that's mostly a very negative social perspective.

I think the complexity of gender identities and terminology is at this point a barrier to me figuring out what's actually possible and where I want to be  :P

TechGirl:

QuoteCan't disagree there.  One thing I would point out though is that transsexual or crossdresser, we are definitely in the realm of ->-bleeped-<-. 

Good point. It's sometimes hard to keep "transgender" and "transsexual" straight (no pun intended) especially because I see so much emphasis on "transsexual".

QuoteAfter reviewing the wiki, I will agree to genderqueer.  However, I don't like it.  The word queer has too much bad reputation.  I think it might be time to introduce a new term other than genderqueer.  Genderneutral maybe? 

I don't see myself as genderneutral, which implies (to me) a state that is less strongly gendered. I am a pretty masculine guy and a super-femme woman, so I feel more "hyper" than "neutral" about gender :)

"Queer" definitely has had negative connotations, but I'm ok with it.  Maybe it's just that I hang with a strongly LGBTQ crowd, but I find it to be a very common and pretty well accepted term. There's power in taking bad a slur and making it work for you.  I also think it's a good catch-all term that works because it covers a lot of ground. I greatly prefer "queer" to trying to wedge everyone into a comprehensive acronym like LGBTQQIAAP.

My company took some demographic surveys recently (for good reasons, not sketchy ones!) and for sexual orientation the choices were something like:  (1) straight, (2) gay/lesbian, (3) bisexual, (4) queer, (5) asexual.  Of those choices, only "queer" can really represent my sexuality, which would require far too much explaining to fit in the box provided :)

Quote from: emma.pneumatic on January 03, 2016, 12:18:34 PM

QuoteGee, when you put it that way, it makes me glad it says crossdresser right under my picture!  >:-)

whoops, sorry... :-(  No offense intended! Terminology is treacherous.

I guess I'm mostly thinking of how crossdressing is perceived in society broadly, like jokes about J Edgar Hoover or whatever. And I've definitely internalized that to the point where I feel like "transsexual" (ending with SRS) is the "most serious", and that tends to leave crossdressing (and everything else) as a sort of very weak and unserious substitute.  I think even the trans* and queer communities often prioritize in this way. And I'm really trying to get past that.

A lot of this is the terminology: I still don't know what terms to apply to myself! "Ambigender" (or bigender) seems closest to me, and I've only just discovered those. I don't mean to question your own identification, Devlyn, but just to express my reaction to the words: In my mind, if you can say "I know I'm not male, I know I'm not female", that sounds to me much more transgendered/genderfluid/two-spirit than it does like crossdresser.  I've always thought of "crossdresser" as a man, usually straight, who sometimes wears women's clothes. But that's mostly a very negative social perspective.

I think the complexity of gender identities and terminology is at this point a barrier to me figuring out what's actually possible and where I want to be  :P

Yeah, I frequently refer to myself as a crossdresser/genderfluid/bi-gender/two-spirit kind of transgender person.  :)  It's really at the point where "I'm me" is the only accurate description.

Hugs, Devlyn

Quote from: Maybebaby56 on December 28, 2015, 06:06:40 PM
Hi TechGirl,

Sorry to crash this thread, but I was rather fascinated by your POV.

Oh, before I go any further, I love your avatar!  That minion is soooo cute!

Back to business: I have to ask.  What do crossdressers get out of crossdressing if they don't yearn to be female?  Is it a "just visiting" kind of thing, a nice fantasy?  I have crossdressed most of my life, but it was a desperate salve to heal an open wound.  It kept me alive, my vaccine against the dysphoria. 

HRT has brought me so much peace. It has quelled the dysphoria, but ironically, I don't have that same desire to get dressed and made up anymore.  I used to live for that. Now I just throw on a t-shirt dress and some earrings, and I am fine just being me.   It's not just the HRT.  It is the decision to transition. I have hope now, a path forward.  I may not get to the end of the rainbow, but I know where I want to go.

So if you don't want womanhood, what do you want?

With kindness,

Terri

Hi Terri,

You raise some good points and I thought I'd chime in.  The difference I think is in whether you are a cross dresser or truly trans gendered.  I know the act of cross dressing applies to both groups of people but the motivation really is different.  In one its a form of expressing who you are; a trans person gets to open a window to their inner self and let he/she out even for a bit.  Whereas a cross dresser gets to express a side of themselves that society says doesn't exist.  We get to be a bit more whole by enjoying the opposite gender even for a bit.

I of course can only speak for myself but that's how I see it.  I'm a guy who loves hosiery, skirts, dresses, and cute shoes.  Guy clothes are boring, girl clothing is flowy, soft, silky, and fun to wear. I also enjoy being a guy too.  It took me a while to understand myself and to learn that its about balance. For me too much masculine time and I feel off.  Too much feminine time and I also feel off.  I need to express both sides and honestly sometimes I'm perfectly happy with a sort of geeky guy/girl expression.  I often pair a geeky t-shirt with a short skirt, hose, and flats.  I'm quite happy just being home this way and doing home things (games with my wife, TV time, housework, cooking etc).  When I dress I don't do bras, forms, or makeup.  Half the year I have a beard and I still dress up.  As a CD it's about expression for me, expression of a whole me :)

Just a reminder, these are the terms we use on the site:

Quote from: Susan on January 26, 2009, 10:04:38 PM

Community Definitions:

Transgender: an inclusive umbrella term which covers anyone who transcends their birth gender for any reason. This includes but is not limited to Androgynes, Crossdressers, Drag kings, Drag queens, Intersexuals, Transsexuals, and ->-bleeped-<-s.

Androgyne: An androgynous person

Androgynous: Being neither distinguishably masculine nor feminine, as in dress, appearance, or behavior.

Crossdresser: a person wears the clothing of the opposite gender, and has no desire to permanently change their sex. There is generally no sexual motivation for the cross-dressing.

Drag kings: performers, usually gay women or transgendered men - who dress in "drag," clothing associated with the male gender, usually highly exaggerated versions thereof. Drag kings often do drag to perform, singing or lip-syncing and dancing, participating in events such as gay pride parades, cabarets, discotheques, and other celebrations and venues.

Drag queens: performers, usually gay men or transgendered women - who dress in "drag," clothing associated with the female gender, usually highly exaggerated versions thereof. Drag queens often do drag to perform, singing or lip-syncing and dancing, participating in events such as gay pride parades, cabarets, discotheques, and other celebrations and venues.

Intersexual: a person born with the full or partial sex organs of both sexes; with underdeveloped or ambiguous sex organs; a sex chromosome karyotype other than XX or XY; or sex hormone receptor problems which prevent normal absorption of Estrogen or Androgens. Intersexual persons may seek to make their body as congruent as possible with the preferred sex through surgery and hormone treatments.

Significant other: for the purpose of this site, someone close to a person who is transgender. This may be a mother, father, son, daughter, sister, brother, family member, husband, wife, girlfriend, boyfriend, or friend.

Transsexual: a person who is mentally one gender, but has the body of the other. They desire to live and be accepted as a member of the mental gender, this is generally accompanied by the strong desire to make their body as congruent as possible with the preferred sex through surgery and hormone treatments.

->-bleeped-<-: a person who wears the clothing of the opposite gender, and has no desire to permanently change their sex. There is generally a strong sexual motivation for the cross-dressing.

Other terms:

Post-Ops: Transsexuals who have had surgical procedures to make their body as congruent as possible with their preferred sex. For MTF transsexuals this is generally considered to be after Genital surgery (GRS, orchiectomy, and/or penectomy), for FTM transsexuals it is generally considered to be after top surgery.

Pre-ops: Transsexuals who desire to to make their body as congruent as possible with their preferred sex, but have not yet had the surgical procedures for whatever reason.

This is not intended to be a glossary of all tg related terms. This just defines the make-up of the community on this site.

Proper Pronouns

Always use proper gender terms and pronouns based on the person's expressed self identity. Intentionally misgendering someone will result in a ban no matter what provocation you think you experienced.

For Male to Female Transsexuals: Male to Female transsexuals are women, and should be addressed in the feminine,  Brava instead of Bravo. recommended pronouns include She, Her, and Hers.

For Female to Male Transsexuals: Female to Male transsexuals are men, and should be addressed in the masculine Bravo instead of Brava. Recommended pronouns include He, Him, and His.

Gender Neutral: Whenever possible avoid the use feminine or masculine forms. Recommended pronouns include Them, They, and Their.

Note: ->-bleeped-<- and ->-bleeped-<- are considered extremely pejorative and should not be used on this site. Terms like Ladyboy should be limited to use in their specific cultural reference.

We're ALL transgender, and adding the "true" to the description has caused many a problem over the years. We don't want to go down that path.  :)

Hugs, Devlyn

Quote from: Devlyn Marie on January 05, 2016, 11:11:04 AM
Just a reminder, these are the terms we use on the site:

We're ALL transgender, and adding the "true" to the description has caused many a problem over the years. We don't want to go down that path.  :)

Hugs, Devlyn

Thanks for the clarification, my intent isn't to cause any problems.  That's the first time I've personally had anyone consider a crossdresser as trans-gendered... I like the newer definition though :)

I wear my transgender/unicorn label with pride!  :)

Hugs, Devlyn

Without having read every post; technically starting HRT is transitioning. If you are married and want to maintain a regular relationship as a guy, be aware that HRT will prevent regular, ahem, bodily functions down there. Maybe not totally, but it could be enough to cause marital problems. Also some people report a lack of libido.   


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Quote from: RavenMoon on January 24, 2016, 09:06:25 PM
Without having read every post; technically starting HRT is transitioning. If you are married and want to maintain a regular relationship as a guy, be aware that HRT will prevent regular, ahem, bodily functions down there. Maybe not totally, but it could be enough to cause marital problems. Also some people report a lack of libido.   


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Completely understand.  When I started this thread a month ago, I was still trying to figure out up from down in the transgender world.

Not so now.  I recognize I am a transgender woman who has not transitioned and may never undergo surgery.  Even if I do go the route of HRT (long way off due to work), I might not transition socially.

Thank you all for your responses.

Hey TechGirl!

I am Cristina and I am 27 years old and am genderqueer, genderfluid, and transgender (non-binary) and also am a sweet ->-bleeped-<- and a crossdresser for 10 years. What these words may fail to convey is that I was assigned male at birth, was socialized to be a boy and a man, but now I reject this limited societal definition of gender and opt for the more expansive term of "genderqueer" or "intergender", which for me is inclusive of attributes of men, women, and everything in-between.

TechGirl, I validate your gender identity as a transgender woman, and am in solidarity with you and your experience. I think it is so important that we accept each other for who we are and not get bogged down in the gender terminology. I say we are all part of one big human family and we need to support each other across the lines of social division such as sex, gender, race, class, sexuality, religion, etc.

In response to what you said about you not transitioning, I say that not all transgender people choose to or are able to transition medically or socially, and this does not make them any less transgender! For me, transgender is a state of mind, which is as much a product of our external experience as our internal biology, and whether one chooses to identify as transgender or to start hormone replacement therapy is a personal choice that I generally support. I think it is also perfectly acceptable to be unsure, questioning, or exploring these ideas, identities, and lifestyles.

Tomorrow I am going to start taking hormones to try and make my appearance more feminine, and while I do not wish to become a woman, which I see as just another box to be thrown into like boy/man/male, I do hope my body changes, i.e. by growing breasts and softer skin, and that my mind psychologically changes, i.e. growing in ability to experience emotional depth. I am not certain taking hormones will achieve this completely, though I suspect it will make me look and feel closer to how I would like to look and feel. After weighing the risks and the benefits, I am finally at peace with the uncertainty and willing to step forward and try something new in search of greater happiness it may bring. Is it okay to be uncertain? Certainly! :)

In case you or anyone else in this thread is interested, I wrote a gender zine for cisgender (non-transgender) folks to educate themselves with about transgender identity and transgender issues. Feel free to free read and distribute the zine, which can be accessed electronically for free here: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1hJ16OBapc6vs1i1wdsFNG9BgkXNm51VjrQAgXrx7YEQ/edit?usp=sharing

Having said all that, I wish you the best of luck in your life journey forward from here, and hope that you may find happiness and peace in all paths.

<3,
Tina

Thank you Tina.   I've saved the zine to my Google Docs,  will give it a read.

Hi TechGirl...we probably have much in common.  I recently (last March) "revealed" or more accurately "was revealed" to my wife of 16 years that I am basically a CD/TV and bisexual.  It's actually kind of a funny story...now.  Yes, we are still together although she is still processing all of this, including my desire to potentially pursue HRT.  In a "perfect" world, I would, although with obligations/commitments to others and a HS aged son, I've sort of squelched any immediate action other than looking into possible therapy, and working on my makeup skills...at least for now. It's kind of easy to do that as I've been suppressing what I am and desire to be, all my life.  Though it does take its toll in terms of internal stress and perhaps, inherent happiness.

On the bright side, she has bought me some clothes and let me wear some of her clothing / jewelry and been out with me.  In fact I've lent her some bracelets she liked and I no longer have to hide my wardrobe in the basement (though my kid is unaware as of now, teens have enough issues growing up without dealing with their parents junk also).  But in all seriousness, I'm not sure where the future would go if I pursued HRT.  Being viewed as a "little kinky" by cross dressing and pursuing transition / HRT are quite possibly gamechangers for any relationship.

I'll leave it at that for now for my introductory post here, especially as my iPad's autocorrect is about to give me a stroke. ;)

I somehow stumbled on this unique story a few months ago.  I don't see any posts here about Stu Rasmussen, so added a few links below.  Take a look at another variation on the theme  ;D

http://www.sturasmussen.com/realityCheck.htm
http://www.sturasmussen.com/TheTwins.html

After he (that's his pronoun choice, although I doubt he'd care either way) was elected mayor the hateful Westboro Baptist Church went to his town to protest.  The locals showed their support for Stu and counter-protested by crossdressing!

http://www.oregonlive.com/news/index.ssf/2008/11/silverton_rebuffs_protest_of_t.html

There are many other articles online.