Susan's Place Transgender Resources

I am 64. It's almost 6 months that I am on low dose HRT, but now I feel more and more that I am going towards a full transition though it was not my initial intention.
Like many of us who are no longer so young I lack hair and it's a real difficulty for living full time as a woman. Personally I have almost no more hair on top of my head and I know that hair implants wouldn't be enough to pass. So I have to wear a wig. I have two, both of good quality though made of synthetic fiber. However according to the vendor they should not be worn 24h a day.
So how do you manage at times when you have to take off your wig (sleeping, shower) ? Is it a trouble for yourself ? For your companion ?

Hi Lucie, congratulations for making this big step.

I personally do not wear a wig. However, if removing your wig at night would be an inconvenience for you or your partner. You can try wearing a nice feminine bandana to cover your hair at night and while sleeping.

I heard a silk bandana would be nice as it also protects your natural hair from rubbing against your cotton pillowcase which will make your hair drier.

Hope this helps.

April

Quote from: Lucie on December 28, 2015, 06:52:40 AM
I am 64. It's almost 6 months that I am on low dose HRT, but now I feel more and more that I am going towards a full transition though it was not my initial intention.
Like many of us who are no longer so young I lack hair and it's a real difficulty for living full time as a woman. Personally I have almost no more hair on top of my head and I know that hair implants wouldn't be enough to pass. So I have to wear a wig. I have two, both of good quality though made of synthetic fiber. However according to the vendor they should not be worn 24h a day.
So how do you manage at times when you have to take off your wig (sleeping, shower) ? Is it a trouble for yourself ? For your companion ?

Quote from: April_TO on December 28, 2015, 07:13:19 AM
Hi Lucie, congratulations for making this big step.

I personally do not wear a wig. However, if removing your wig at night would be an inconvenience for you or your partner. You can try wearing a nice feminine bandana to cover your hair at night and while sleeping.

I heard a silk bandana would be nice as it also protects your natural hair from rubbing against your cotton pillowcase which will make your hair drier.

Hope this helps.

April

Thank you April for your advice, the bandana is a nice idea.

However I'd like to know how people who do wear a wig do at night or when they have a shower. In my case seeing my face in a mirror after I have taken off my wig is terrible and depresses me. Also I wonder whether it exists wigs which can be worn 24h a day.

Quote from: Lucie on December 28, 2015, 06:52:40 AM

So how do you manage at times when you have to take off your wig (sleeping, shower) ? Is it a trouble for yourself ?

No, no problem. I know who I am, know my history, and am at peace with it. Would I prefer to see luxurious flowing locks? Of course, along with a 24-year-old face free of wrinkles and electrolysis wounds, but life is partly a journey of acceptance.

Quote from: Lucie on December 28, 2015, 06:52:40 AM
For your companion ?

Alas, I have never convinced anyone to get that close to me (not for lack of trying), so can't help you there.

It's not anything that's ever caused a problem for me, fortunately, and my current medication has totally cured what little issue there was in a matter of weeks  :) So the first thing is perhaps not to give up hope? Yet I totally feel, without of course understanding, the pain of what it must be like to know that part of what you consider dear has to be taken off at night. I used to feel the same way when I washed my makeup down the drain and was confronted by an upper lip and chin mottled with dark hairs (laser saved my life btw  :))

Perhaps, then, something more permanent might be good for you? Your issue reminded me of something I read a long time ago. Totally unrelated but a bald actor wrote about having a hair system fitted in order to play a role. It's basically a human hair wig but attached semi-permanently. He wrote that he could sleep in it and go swimming!! He'd wash it like it was his own hair. I suppose the down side to this is the price? And all the places I could find seemed to be in London - if that's a particular problem?

http://www.thelondonhairclinic.co.uk

http://www.totalcoverplus.co.uk/

Hope that helps xx

Quote from: suzifrommd on December 28, 2015, 07:45:30 AM
No, no problem. I know who I am, know my history, and am at peace with it. Would I prefer to see luxurious flowing locks? Of course, along with a 24-year-old face free of wrinkles and electrolysis wounds, but life is partly a journey of acceptance.

Alas, I have never convinced anyone to get that close to me (not for lack of trying), so can't help you there.

Thank you Suzi for your reply. Hugs.

Quote from: Missy D on December 28, 2015, 08:06:20 AM
It's not anything that's ever caused a problem for me, fortunately, and my current medication has totally cured what little issue there was in a matter of weeks  :) So the first thing is perhaps not to give up hope? Yet I totally feel, without of course understanding, the pain of what it must be like to know that part of what you consider dear has to be taken off at night. I used to feel the same way when I washed my makeup down the drain and was confronted by an upper lip and chin mottled with dark hairs (laser saved my life btw  :))

Perhaps, then, something more permanent might be good for you? Your issue reminded me of something I read a long time ago. Totally unrelated but a bald actor wrote about having a hair system fitted in order to play a role. It's basically a human hair wig but attached semi-permanently. He wrote that he could sleep in it and go swimming!! He'd wash it like it was his own hair. I suppose the down side to this is the price? And all the places I could find seemed to be in London - if that's a particular problem?

http://www.thelondonhairclinic.co.uk

http://www.totalcoverplus.co.uk/

Hope that helps xx

Yes it does help Missy, I thank you for the links. Both are for men but the first one has a link to a similar site for women with amazing vids: http://www.bloomsburywigs.com. I have seen nothing about prices but I fear that it's unaffordable. Also I am not sure that they provide woman hair replacement for men. I'll contact them for more info. Thanks again.

There are hairpieces that are glued on, they will stay in place for longer times and need to be cared for by a hair specialist, I believe. They do not cover the whole head like a wig, but just bald spots that exist. The downside of them is apparently that they will damage what little hair is growing in the spots they sit on, so once started and used for a while, they need to become a permanent solution. How big is the damage that is done and how long ago did it happen? If the main loss occured within the past 10-15 years there are some chances of getting that back.

As for the bathroom mirror situation - I think this happens to many - hair or no hair issues. I guess the only thing that helps there is to place the mirror in a way that you can do something before you have to look into it. Putting on a bandana or wig for example.

Some of the wig companies sell a type of cloth cap that you can sleep in or wear around the house.  Most of them are designed for women who have lost their hair due to chemotherapy or some other reason.  I am in the same boat as you, I don't think any amount of medication will bring back the hair on top so I will be wearing a wig.  I intend to get a couple of the caps for days when I'm not going out.  You could get one and as soon as your through in the shower put it on before looking in the mirror.

Thanks Anjaq and Ann for your reply.

Anjaq, I understand that for replacing male hair it should be possible to glue some hairpiece for hiding baldness. But, apart the fact I don't like the idea of putting glue on my skin, it's not clear to me how this kind of hairpieces can be used for female hair on a male scalp. I have contacted http://www.bloomsburywigs.com. I am waiting for more info about what they provide and what they could do in my case.

Ann, the tip about a cloth cap or rather a turban or bandana is interesting, at least for the short term. It should be easy to find one affordable.

As for the long term I hope that I will find a permanent solution. To me it's far more important than getting rid of my bits.

Not that I want to lose my hair, but sometimes hair can get in the way when sleeping. Or other stuff...

Quote from: iKate on December 28, 2015, 11:33:01 AM
Not that I want to lose my hair, but sometimes hair can get in the way when sleeping. Or other stuff...

:)
I don't wear long hair, only middle or short length (such as http://www.clic-perruques.fr/donnees/produits/450x600/ew_daily.jpg or http://www.clic-perruques.fr/donnees/produits/450x600/fair_mono-2012.jpg). If I wore my wig while sleeping I don't think I'd get in the way due to hair length.

Quote from: Lucie on December 28, 2015, 06:52:40 AM
However according to the vendor they should not be worn 24h a day.

I am curious, what is the reason for not being able to wear manes 24h a day. Is it worry about damage to the mane or could you get hurt?

I am one of the 'lucky' girls confined to wearing manes.

What I do is, I wear good ones outdoors, but indoors I wear cheaper ones. I have ones I sleep in over night. And about 20+ others for indoors, bad weather, dirty work, for when my two good ones are drying. And such. Regular wash and I can virtually never run out.

So, I am curious still what reason(s) does your vendor list. :)

Hugs

Quote from: Martine A. on December 28, 2015, 12:15:29 PM
I am curious, what is the reason for not being able to wear manes 24h a day. Is it worry about damage to the mane or could you get hurt?

I am one of the 'lucky' girls confined to wearing manes.

What I do is, I wear good ones outdoors, but indoors I wear cheaper ones. I have ones I sleep in over night. And about 20+ others for indoors, bad weather, dirty work, for when my two good ones are drying. And such. Regular wash and I can virtually never run out.

So, I am curious still what reason(s) does your vendor list. :)

Hugs

The reason the vendor stated is that the fiber of which the mane is made would wear out quickly.
If no affordable permanent solution is available I will buy cheap second quality wigs for indoors as you did. Thanks to you for the suggestion.  ;)

My worry now is that cheap fabrics could cause diseases. It is good that we spoke. I will look into it, and I suggest you do the same.

Quote from: Martine A. on December 28, 2015, 01:04:55 PM
My worry now is that cheap fabrics could cause diseases. It is good that we spoke. I will look into it, and I suggest you do the same.

You are right. I will ask the vendor from whom I bought my wigs. She sells wigs mainly to women who have a health issue (she sells also breast prosthesis). She is very nice. But I am afraid that she will be not able to give informations about cheap wigs because I've understood that she does not sell any. I'll ask anyway.

Quote from: Lucie on December 28, 2015, 08:42:53 AM
Yes it does help Missy, I thank you for the links. Both are for men but the first one has a link to a similar site for women with amazing vids: http://www.bloomsburywigs.com. I have seen nothing about prices but I fear that it's unaffordable. Also I am not sure that they provide woman hair replacement for men. I'll contact them for more info. Thanks again.

I've received a reply from bloomsburywigs. Their hair replacement system looks convenient for my hair situation but it still has severe drawbacks:

• Prices start from 1295 GBP (1900 $ or 1750 €) up to 2000 GBP (3000 $ or 2700 €)
• The client must go to their clinic every 6 weeks for maintenance
• And lastly the lifespan of the hair is less than 2 years only

It's probably a nice solution for permanent hair replacement, but personnally I can't afford it.

I would highly recommend Patti's Pearls. Even if you don't need new wigs, her videos are educational and inspirational in some cases. She's an elderly woman who lost all her hair due to chemotherapy. Absolutely love her. Reminds me so much of my mom... though she hated wearing wigs after she lost her hair and stuck to colorful scarves for the most part.

Hi Lucie,

I dont have the information with me, but I have seen some hair systems at a more reasonable prices and I will post the information later when I have access to it,

BTW, I am on the same boat that you are.

Emily

Quote from: MichaelaLJ1972 on December 29, 2015, 06:11:53 AM
I would highly recommend Patti's Pearls. Even if you don't need new wigs, her videos are educational and inspirational in some cases. She's an elderly woman who lost all her hair due to chemotherapy. Absolutely love her. Reminds me so much of my mom... though she hated wearing wigs after she lost her hair and stuck to colorful scarves for the most part.

Thanks Michaela for letting me know about this woman's site. The vids are very informative. I've asked her whether her wigs may be worn full time a day.

Quote from: Emily R on December 29, 2015, 06:44:11 AM
Hi Lucie,

I dont have the information with me, but I have seen some hair systems at a more reasonable prices and I will post the information later when I have access to it,

BTW, I am on the same boat that you are.

Emily

Hello Emily,
I look forward to getting any info about these hair systems. Thanks in advance.

Quote from: Lucie on December 29, 2015, 07:07:26 AM
Thanks Michaela for letting me know about this woman's site. The vids are very informative. I've asked her whether her wigs may be worn full time a day.

I received a reply from Patti's Pearls: They say that their high-end wigs can be worn 24h a day but they do not recommend to do it because it will wear out the wig quickly !  :(

Lucie, it isn't that bad for me removing the wig but then I'm getting closer and closer to my own full head of hair. What hair I have is long enough and has been died to match the wig. However, I have worn wig to bed in the past but I prefer to sleep without it actually. When I'm just at home I use my hair and no wig. The key is whatever is comfortable for you. Wigs are not uncomfortable to sleep in, but I would recommend a second one if your going to. One for the day and one for at night. It will last longer that way. Hugs
Mariah

Quote from: Mariah2014 on December 30, 2015, 09:04:32 AM
Lucie, it isn't that bad for me removing the wig but then I'm getting closer and closer to my own full head of hair. What hair I have is long enough and has been died to match the wig. However, I have worn wig to bed in the past but I prefer to sleep without it actually. When I'm just at home I use my hair and no wig. The key is whatever is comfortable for you. Wigs are not uncomfortable to sleep in, but I would recommend a second one if your going to. One for the day and one for at night. It will last longer that way. Hugs
Mariah

Thank you Maria for your advice. Unfortunately I have lost too much of my hair and what remains makes my face and my head horribly maleish. I hate seeing me without a wig. As for sleeping all wig vendors tell that the wig will wear out quickly if one sleeps with it. Following what you and other posters suggested I see two possible solutions only for indoors: either a cheap wig the lifespan of which I don't care, or some headdress such as a bandana or a turban. Kisses. Lucie

That's the unfortunate thing about wigs :( I really wish there could be better and more reliable solutions. I haven't even attempted to start growing my own natural hair out yet. I still shave my head and it's a huge source of dysphoria for me. I'm a hairstylist (not currently working in the field) so my thinning hair has also taken the joy out of my profession. I have noticed a slight change in my hair growth since being on HRT, but it's still too early to really tell how my hair growth will be impacted by hormones.

Anyway, I wish you all the luck. I can definitely empathize with you.

Quote from: Lucie on December 30, 2015, 08:25:40 AM
I received a reply from Patti's Pearls: They say that their high-end wigs can be worn 24h a day but they do not recommend to do it because it will wear out the wig quickly !  :(

Quote from: MichaelaLJ1972 on December 31, 2015, 05:42:35 AM
That's the unfortunate thing about wigs :( I really wish there could be better and more reliable solutions. I haven't even attempted to start growing my own natural hair out yet. I still shave my head and it's a huge source of dysphoria for me. I'm a hairstylist (not currently working in the field) so my thinning hair has also taken the joy out of my profession. I have noticed a slight change in my hair growth since being on HRT, but it's still too early to really tell how my hair growth will be impacted by hormones.

Anyway, I wish you all the luck. I can definitely empathize with you.

Michaela, I thank you for your kind words. In my turn I emphathize with you because as a hair stylist you must suffer a lot of having to wear wigs. I sincerely wish you that your hair growth will be soon sufficient for getting rid of them. As for me there is no chance that my hair will grow enough.:( I have to accept it.

Hi Lucie,

First of all the disclaimer:  I don't know nor I have any kind of relationship with this company so "Buyer Beware" and please do your research before you purchase anything from them.

I have been doing some looking around because I have the same problem where I will never in my lifei be able to grow any hair, and I came around this company,  I have never called them and I really dont know their hair quality, service or if their prices are better, although they did look less expensive if you subscribe to their regular replacement.

www.hairdirect.com

Please let me know your opinion of them and any results in either contact or buying any products from them and if you dont mind PM as I may not see the post.

Have a Happy New 2016!

Emily

Lucie, I remember reading about a woman in her 30's who suffered from alopecia was completely bald.  She was using a hair replacement system.  I wish I could find the link.  Anyway, it's basically something that you need to replace every few months but is pretty much like real hair.  You can shower, swim, sleep, style, curl, etc.

Here is just a few I found from googling around. 
http://www.markglenn.com/female-hair-loss.htm (http://www.markglenn.com/female-hair-loss.htm)
http://www.alopeciaworld.com/forum/topics/hairintegration-systems (http://www.alopeciaworld.com/forum/topics/hairintegration-systems)
http://www.americanhairloss.org/hair_replacement/buyer_beware.asp (http://www.americanhairloss.org/hair_replacement/buyer_beware.asp)

They are expensive and you really have to be careful as not all systems are made the same and some are down right scams. 

Good luck!

Quote from: Autumnleaf on December 31, 2015, 10:51:35 AM
Lucie, I remember reading about a woman in her 30's who suffered from alopecia was completely bald.  She was using a hair replacement system.  I wish I could find the link.  Anyway, it's basically something that you need to replace every few months but is pretty much like real hair.  You can shower, swim, sleep, style, curl, etc.

Here is just a few I found from googling around. 
http://www.markglenn.com/female-hair-loss.htm (http://www.markglenn.com/female-hair-loss.htm)
http://www.alopeciaworld.com/forum/topics/hairintegration-systems (http://www.alopeciaworld.com/forum/topics/hairintegration-systems)
http://www.americanhairloss.org/hair_replacement/buyer_beware.asp (http://www.americanhairloss.org/hair_replacement/buyer_beware.asp)

They are expensive and you really have to be careful as not all systems are made the same and some are down right scams. 

Good luck!

Thanks for the links Autumnleaf. I already considered such integrated systems. I contacted bloomsburywigs (http://www.bloomsburywigs.com). Considering the high cost, the severe constraints and the short life span it's definitely not a solution for me. I'll still have a look at the sites you mention.

Quote from: Emily R on December 31, 2015, 10:37:12 AM
Hi Lucie,

First of all the disclaimer:  I don't know nor I have any kind of relationship with this company so "Buyer Beware" and please do your research before you purchase anything from them.

I have been doing some looking around because I have the same problem where I will never in my lifei be able to grow any hair, and I came around this company,  I have never called them and I really dont know their hair quality, service or if their prices are better, although they did look less expensive if you subscribe to their regular replacement.

www.hairdirect.com

Please let me know your opinion of them and any results in either contact or buying any products from them and if you dont mind PM as I may not see the post.

Have a Happy New 2016!

Emily

Hello Emily,
I whish you in my turn a happy new year !
I thank you for the link to hairdirect. I'll browse their site as soon as possible and let you know my opinion about the products and services they offer.

The key is to do as much or little as you need for you. Then find solution that works for you. Good luck and hugs
Mariah

Quote from: Lucie on December 30, 2015, 09:55:06 AM
Thank you Maria for your advice. Unfortunately I have lost too much of my hair and what remains makes my face and my head horribly maleish. I hate seeing me without a wig. As for sleeping all wig vendors tell that the wig will wear out quickly if one sleeps with it. Following what you and other posters suggested I see two possible solutions only for indoors: either a cheap wig the lifespan of which I don't care, or some headdress such as a bandana or a turban. Kisses. Lucie

Quote from: Lucie on December 28, 2015, 11:28:57 AM
Anjaq, I understand that for replacing male hair it should be possible to glue some hairpiece for hiding baldness. But, apart the fact I don't like the idea of putting glue on my skin, it's not clear to me how this kind of hairpieces can be used for female hair on a male scalp. I have contacted http://www.bloomsburywigs.com. I am waiting for more info about what they provide and what they could do in my case.

Ann, the tip about a cloth cap or rather a turban or bandana is interesting, at least for the short term. It should be easy to find one affordable.

I am not sure in what ways a male and female scalp or hair would differ in any way that matters for this purpose? What makes your hair or scalp "male"?
A friend of mine used such a system - with the glue and all that - but she stopped because she did not want to damage her regrowing hair that came with the help of hormone therapy, progesterone supplements and progesterone application on the scalp. (those also gave me back some of my hair at the temples). Of course all of these systems are non permanent. you need to replace wigs, hairpieces, get renewals for the glue-on pieces and so on. Having no hair is costly :( - In Germany, one has a certain chance to get part of the costs paid for by the NHS , but in the US the health system is not as socialist, so its up to oneself to be rich enough to afford looking good or just normal. :(

I sometimes like wearing bandanas myself, even though I do have hair, but they cover the shape of my hairline at the temples and sometimes its just practical and comfortable :)

Quote from: anjaq on January 01, 2016, 04:56:46 PM
I am not sure in what ways a male and female scalp or hair would differ in any way that matters for this purpose? What makes your hair or scalp "male"?
A friend of mine used such a system - with the glue and all that - but she stopped because she did not want to damage her regrowing hair that came with the help of hormone therapy, progesterone supplements and progesterone application on the scalp. (those also gave me back some of my hair at the temples). Of course all of these systems are non permanent. you need to replace wigs, hairpieces, get renewals for the glue-on pieces and so on. Having no hair is costly :( - In Germany, one has a certain chance to get part of the costs paid for by the NHS , but in the US the health system is not as socialist, so its up to oneself to be rich enough to afford looking good or just normal. :(

I sometimes like wearing bandanas myself, even though I do have hair, but they cover the shape of my hairline at the temples and sometimes its just practical and comfortable :)

Actually I was thinking about differences between male and female alopecias or baldnesses (instead of scalp differences). As regards so called "permanent" hair system I have completely given up that idea (to much expensive, too many constraints). I'll confine myself to wigs for outside and to bandanas or cheap wigs for inside.

I want to thank all of you for your kind advices and especially April who suggested the solution of wearing a bandana. I have purchased two. I wear one almost all the time I stay at home. I feel much better now. When looking in a mirror, I don't see anymore someone, a man, who is not me. It makes me a lot more self-confident, I am very happy of having found this cheap and nice workaround.

(https://www.susans.org/forums/gallery/0/43656-250116115653.jpeg)