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Title: Hello from across the pond
Post by: Juliastee on December 28, 2015, 06:41:23 PM
Post by: Juliastee on December 28, 2015, 06:41:23 PM
Hi, people.
I think it only right to say "hello". I am a 40 something lawyer from the UK. I've suppressed my CD tendencies for a very long time. But... a couple of nights ago I had the most marvelous dream: I was out with my SO, who is in ignorance of these thoughts, shopping for shoes. The odd thing was that I was dressed in the most lovely red velvet dress... It seemed the most natural thing in the world, and the feeling of - rightness, I suppose - when I woke was, well, shocking. It made me realise that some things that I had been suppressing for many years were still very close to the surface. Mine is not an environment in which these issues are often acknowledged or encouraged (unless one becomes a judge, I suppose, in which case wigs are de rigeur (!)). So - after a great deal of reading around the internet I came upon this site. I do not know where, if anywhere, this is going for Julia and me, but it is vastly encouraging to realise that one is far from alone.
As someone (Spinoza?) said - life is nothing if not an adventure.
Good luck to you all, and let's be careful out there!
Julia
PS - that's the first ever post from "her".
I think it only right to say "hello". I am a 40 something lawyer from the UK. I've suppressed my CD tendencies for a very long time. But... a couple of nights ago I had the most marvelous dream: I was out with my SO, who is in ignorance of these thoughts, shopping for shoes. The odd thing was that I was dressed in the most lovely red velvet dress... It seemed the most natural thing in the world, and the feeling of - rightness, I suppose - when I woke was, well, shocking. It made me realise that some things that I had been suppressing for many years were still very close to the surface. Mine is not an environment in which these issues are often acknowledged or encouraged (unless one becomes a judge, I suppose, in which case wigs are de rigeur (!)). So - after a great deal of reading around the internet I came upon this site. I do not know where, if anywhere, this is going for Julia and me, but it is vastly encouraging to realise that one is far from alone.
As someone (Spinoza?) said - life is nothing if not an adventure.
Good luck to you all, and let's be careful out there!
Julia
PS - that's the first ever post from "her".
Title: Re: Hello from across the pond
Post by: Lyndsey on December 28, 2015, 06:55:02 PM
Post by: Lyndsey on December 28, 2015, 06:55:02 PM
Hi Julia
Welcome to Susan's you did well finding us here as this is a place to ask the questions and get some kind of and answer of direction in which to go. there is a lot of forums on here to find one that you are interested in and go for it. Have fun. I'm sure that one of the moderators will give you the set of rule and regs for the site and abide by them and you will be excepted completely. I like you am a retired attorney and so happy to be out of the political bull crap. Nice to see you here!! :angel:
Hug's
Lyndsey
Welcome to Susan's you did well finding us here as this is a place to ask the questions and get some kind of and answer of direction in which to go. there is a lot of forums on here to find one that you are interested in and go for it. Have fun. I'm sure that one of the moderators will give you the set of rule and regs for the site and abide by them and you will be excepted completely. I like you am a retired attorney and so happy to be out of the political bull crap. Nice to see you here!! :angel:
Hug's
Lyndsey
Title: Re: Hello from across the pond
Post by: Juliastee on December 28, 2015, 07:39:07 PM
Post by: Juliastee on December 28, 2015, 07:39:07 PM
Lyndsey
Thanks for the reply. One thing I have picked up is that there is a (perceived?) tendency towards introspection and narcissism amongst the TG community. Clearly there is a whole lot of legal "stuff" too, which impacts far more widely. I'd like to think that I might be able to help with that - not sure how, though. SO many issues!
Julia
Thanks for the reply. One thing I have picked up is that there is a (perceived?) tendency towards introspection and narcissism amongst the TG community. Clearly there is a whole lot of legal "stuff" too, which impacts far more widely. I'd like to think that I might be able to help with that - not sure how, though. SO many issues!
Julia
Title: Re: Hello from across the pond
Post by: LordKAT on December 28, 2015, 08:10:12 PM
Post by: LordKAT on December 28, 2015, 08:10:12 PM
Welcome to Susan's. You are correct, you are not alone. I'm glad you found us.
Here are some links to site rules and some answers to often asked questons.
Here are some links to site rules and some answers to often asked questons.
- Site Terms of Service and rules to live by (http://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,2.0.html)
- Standard Terms and Definitions (http://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,54369.0.html)
- Post Ranks (including when you can upload an avatar) (http://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,114.0.html.)
- Reputation rules (http://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,18960.0.html)
- News posting & quoting guidelines (http://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,174951.0.html)
- Photo, avatars, and signature images policy (http://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,59974.msg383866.html#msg383866)
Title: Re: Hello from across the pond
Post by: Lyndsey on December 28, 2015, 08:14:27 PM
Post by: Lyndsey on December 28, 2015, 08:14:27 PM
Hi Julia
It is a hug ball of wax that I'm going to avoid if possible. I am very burned out from years of the system. It has taken to many brain cells that I want to give them to my loved one at this point in my life. If you can understand me. It is my time to play and have fun while I'm still here. I'm finally very happy in my skin and want to enjoy it. not waste hours in a courtroom because someone has a cold or got lost trying to find the courthouse or is out sick or many of the delaying that occur. If you feel like coming over here and working with the system Please don't let me stop you. You are braver than me. I also have gone many years in the system with out being outed. I want to just fade away into the back woods of New Hampshire and enjoy the time I have left. You have all my Blessings for what ever you choose. :angel:
Big Hug's
Lyndsey Marie
It is a hug ball of wax that I'm going to avoid if possible. I am very burned out from years of the system. It has taken to many brain cells that I want to give them to my loved one at this point in my life. If you can understand me. It is my time to play and have fun while I'm still here. I'm finally very happy in my skin and want to enjoy it. not waste hours in a courtroom because someone has a cold or got lost trying to find the courthouse or is out sick or many of the delaying that occur. If you feel like coming over here and working with the system Please don't let me stop you. You are braver than me. I also have gone many years in the system with out being outed. I want to just fade away into the back woods of New Hampshire and enjoy the time I have left. You have all my Blessings for what ever you choose. :angel:
Big Hug's
Lyndsey Marie
Title: Re: Hello from across the pond
Post by: Dena on December 28, 2015, 08:15:16 PM
Post by: Dena on December 28, 2015, 08:15:16 PM
Welcome to Susan's Place. We will help you do as much as you desire. In addition, there are a number of members from the UK on the site already so you will find posts and WIKI information that may be useful.
As for the law, it's getting much better. When I transitioned, I had no legal protection and as the result, I may have had some setbacks from the companies I worked for. Fortunately I also encountered many good people along the way who accepted me for who I was and not what I was. As the result I have had a life I can't complain about.
Should there be something you need that you can't fine, feel free to ask because that's what we are here for.
As for the law, it's getting much better. When I transitioned, I had no legal protection and as the result, I may have had some setbacks from the companies I worked for. Fortunately I also encountered many good people along the way who accepted me for who I was and not what I was. As the result I have had a life I can't complain about.
Should there be something you need that you can't fine, feel free to ask because that's what we are here for.
Title: Re: Hello from across the pond
Post by: V M on December 28, 2015, 09:24:57 PM
Post by: V M on December 28, 2015, 09:24:57 PM
Hi Julia :icon_wave:
Welcome to Susan's :) Glad to have you here, join on in the fun
Hugs
V M
Welcome to Susan's :) Glad to have you here, join on in the fun
Hugs
V M
Title: Re: Hello from across the pond
Post by: Juliastee on December 29, 2015, 05:24:45 PM
Post by: Juliastee on December 29, 2015, 05:24:45 PM
Lyndsey
"It has taken to many brain cells that I want to give them to my loved one at this point in my life. If you can understand me. It is my time to play and have fun while I'm still here."
Yes - I think that I can absolutely understand, and relate to, that sentiment. For me, retirement is a long time off; I need to work out what to do with the next 15/20 years... both professionally and personally. Not sure I want to take the Bar exam at this stage, but I am sure that there is plenty to do here, as well as internationally. The one thing I do believe in passionately is equality before the law for all.
Enjoy!
Julia
"It has taken to many brain cells that I want to give them to my loved one at this point in my life. If you can understand me. It is my time to play and have fun while I'm still here."
Yes - I think that I can absolutely understand, and relate to, that sentiment. For me, retirement is a long time off; I need to work out what to do with the next 15/20 years... both professionally and personally. Not sure I want to take the Bar exam at this stage, but I am sure that there is plenty to do here, as well as internationally. The one thing I do believe in passionately is equality before the law for all.
Enjoy!
Julia
Title: Re: Hello from across the pond
Post by: Juliastee on December 29, 2015, 05:28:30 PM
Post by: Juliastee on December 29, 2015, 05:28:30 PM
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Re: Hello from across the pond
« Reply #5 on: Yesterday at 08:15:16 pm »
Quote
Welcome to Susan's Place. We will help you do as much as you desire. In addition, there are a number of members from the UK on the site already so you will find posts and WIKI information that may be useful.
Dena - thanks for the welcome. I have already spotted a couple of compatriots (well, Scotland almost doesn't count any longer and soon wont count at all, but hey- we are not the furthest afield of your members, I think)!
Glad to hear that you met some sensible people along the way. I'll let you know whom I meet...
Julia
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Re: Hello from across the pond
« Reply #5 on: Yesterday at 08:15:16 pm »
Quote
Welcome to Susan's Place. We will help you do as much as you desire. In addition, there are a number of members from the UK on the site already so you will find posts and WIKI information that may be useful.
Dena - thanks for the welcome. I have already spotted a couple of compatriots (well, Scotland almost doesn't count any longer and soon wont count at all, but hey- we are not the furthest afield of your members, I think)!
Glad to hear that you met some sensible people along the way. I'll let you know whom I meet...
Julia
Title: Re: Hello from across the pond
Post by: Brooke33 on December 29, 2015, 08:47:32 PM
Post by: Brooke33 on December 29, 2015, 08:47:32 PM
Hey Julia, a big welcome from across the pond; your former colony in the cold north tundra. I hope you stick around, there's many helpful and friendly people on this board, and I was glad to find it myself. I did find something you said fascinating regarding narcissism and introspection in the TG community, and I couldn't help but think that what could be construed as narcissism could simply be an encompassing worry about passing. I know I find myself personally checking the mirror frequently, but only to see if I notice any changes since beginning my transition. Still, interesting to think about :)
Hope your holidays are exceptional, and welcome :)
Hope your holidays are exceptional, and welcome :)
Title: Re: Hello from across the pond
Post by: Juliastee on December 30, 2015, 02:30:51 AM
Post by: Juliastee on December 30, 2015, 02:30:51 AM
Hi Brooke
Yes I think I can understand that. And the whole business about finding an identity is so confusing and difficult that once one has one I can see one would want to nurture it!
I have no desire to pass at least at the moment but hey, who knows where this is going...
Hugs
Julia
Yes I think I can understand that. And the whole business about finding an identity is so confusing and difficult that once one has one I can see one would want to nurture it!
I have no desire to pass at least at the moment but hey, who knows where this is going...
Hugs
Julia
Title: Re: Hello from across the pond
Post by: Lyndsey on December 30, 2015, 11:01:31 AM
Post by: Lyndsey on December 30, 2015, 11:01:31 AM
Quote from: Juliastee on December 30, 2015, 02:30:51 AM
Hi Brooke
Yes I think I can understand that. And the whole business about finding an identity is so confusing and difficult that once one has one I can see one would want to nurture it!
I have no desire to pass at least at the moment but hey, who knows where this is going...
Hugs
Julia
Hi Julia
Always remember it always gets easier with time and confidence that you will gain. :angel:
Hug's
Lyndsey
Title: Re: Hello from across the pond
Post by: Juliastee on December 30, 2015, 11:32:56 AM
Post by: Juliastee on December 30, 2015, 11:32:56 AM
Lyndsey, I am sure you're right.
The temptation is to want to run before even having worked out where to walk to (and how).
Off to dinner with some very old close friends tonight and I keep thinking "If only they knew. And were happy with it. And my SO was the same... How great it would be to get properly dressed up to the nines."
That would be just like the feeling I had that I described in my original post. But- lots to think about and do before that. Maybe next Christmas...
Thanks for your supportive comments.
Julia
The temptation is to want to run before even having worked out where to walk to (and how).
Off to dinner with some very old close friends tonight and I keep thinking "If only they knew. And were happy with it. And my SO was the same... How great it would be to get properly dressed up to the nines."
That would be just like the feeling I had that I described in my original post. But- lots to think about and do before that. Maybe next Christmas...
Thanks for your supportive comments.
Julia
Title: Re: Hello from across the pond
Post by: Lyndsey on December 30, 2015, 12:25:32 PM
Post by: Lyndsey on December 30, 2015, 12:25:32 PM
Quote from: Juliastee on December 30, 2015, 11:32:56 AM
Lyndsey, I am sure you're right.
The temptation is to want to run before even having worked out where to walk to (and how).
Off to dinner with some very old close friends tonight and I keep thinking "If only they knew. And were happy with it. And my SO was the same... How great it would be to get properly dressed up to the nines."
That would be just like the feeling I had that I described in my original post. But- lots to think about and do before that. Maybe next Christmas...
Thanks for your supportive comments.
Julia
Hi Julia
We are not in a rush! take your time but I must say that after you get it out it is a Very Very Big load off you mind.
Only you will know when the time is right but it never seam as though it is. The sooner you do the more time you will have being happy and who you are. I was a lot older than you and I wished I did it so many years ago. That is all water over the dam now. You have my Blessings no matter what or how you decide. I do know that I'm a very happy women now. :angel:
Big Hug's
Lyndsey
Title: Re: Hello from across the pond
Post by: gennee on December 30, 2015, 05:49:37 PM
Post by: gennee on December 30, 2015, 05:49:37 PM
Hi Julia and welcome to Susan's. I am retired and am doing the things I love. I tried to keep my cross dressing under wraps but it proved futile. I tried to keep it confined to the home but I needed to be out in public. I realized that my feelings ran much deeper than clothing. Today I am a non transitioning transgender woman.
Susan's was one of the first sites I joined over a decade ago. There's loads of information and some great people. One thing for sure is that you are not alone.
:)
Susan's was one of the first sites I joined over a decade ago. There's loads of information and some great people. One thing for sure is that you are not alone.
:)
Title: Re: Hello from across the pond
Post by: Juliastee on December 30, 2015, 06:54:01 PM
Post by: Juliastee on December 30, 2015, 06:54:01 PM
Lyndsey thank you.
Genee thank you too.
I have read a great deal since yesterday that hAs helped .with nomenclature. But. Does that really help? So far all I know is that I'm a mess...Not sexually but as regards gender. I thought "transfemine" came closest.Though as a Brit I can't help identifying with Eddie Izzards idea Of the"executive transvestite" . Arghhhg!
Julia
Genee thank you too.
I have read a great deal since yesterday that hAs helped .with nomenclature. But. Does that really help? So far all I know is that I'm a mess...Not sexually but as regards gender. I thought "transfemine" came closest.Though as a Brit I can't help identifying with Eddie Izzards idea Of the"executive transvestite" . Arghhhg!
Julia
Title: Re: Hello from across the pond
Post by: Juliastee on December 30, 2015, 07:15:29 PM
Post by: Juliastee on December 30, 2015, 07:15:29 PM
Lyndsey
What would Atticus Finch have said in these "enlightened times"?
Julia
What would Atticus Finch have said in these "enlightened times"?
Julia
Title: Re: Hello from across the pond
Post by: Juliastee on December 30, 2015, 07:22:41 PM
Post by: Juliastee on December 30, 2015, 07:22:41 PM
Sorry.just feeling dazed and confused. Blame the champagne.
Julia
Z
Julia
Z
Title: Re: Hello from across the pond
Post by: Lyndsey on December 31, 2015, 07:03:54 PM
Post by: Lyndsey on December 31, 2015, 07:03:54 PM
OH Boy! Not!
A Girl! Yes!
Lyndsey
A Girl! Yes!
Lyndsey
Title: Re: Hello from across the pond
Post by: Juliastee on January 02, 2016, 06:09:59 PM
Post by: Juliastee on January 02, 2016, 06:09:59 PM
Hello from the old country. For those who have been kind enough to reply to my posts, here are some revelations about Julia, now that I have known her for about a week:
She is feisty, analytical and sometimes emotionally sensitive. At other times she gets it completely wrong.
Coming from a background of philosophy and law, that may not be too surprising.
Politically, she is left-leaning, but has felt that she has, almost unconsciously, developed an increasingly right wing appearance; it isnt that she takes those views to heart, but it more that after nearly 50 years of living among us all, she knows that the fruits of idealism cannot always be easily or practically realised; that hard choices have to be made where resources of time or nature are limited.
She loves art (mainly the post impressionists, but some modern work, too) and literature (Flaubert is a fave, as is Ian M Banks and his ideas of The Culture where highly evolved humans are able to change gender at will). Musically her tastes are conservative with a few twists - Mozart and Chopin for every day listening but when she wants to be moved to tears, which is often, it has to be Beethoven with his all encompassing understanding of the human condition. True for all times and all people. On other occasions she indulges in the odd guilty pleasure like most of us, such as a bit of MeatLoaf, Rainbow or even musical theatre (Les Mis and Evita in particular).
She is a child of her times. As am I.
Although apparently conservative she has a reckless streak - loves inappropriately fast cars and drives a Jaguar. She hasnt quite plucked up courage to race that but she has raced a bike, and didnt do too badly for her age.
I have spoken to her a lot about our relationship this last week. She says, unhelpfully, that it is for me to work out: that she will always be there when I want to speak to her, and that the one thing she can definitely NOT promise, is not to be troublesome. Hmm.
Whether she will be a constant house guest or a distant friend whom I only speak to from time to time, I do not yet know. Her fashion sense is questionable, though she has a clearly defined idea of her own femininity - and thankfully that seems to be more or less appropriate for someone of her age (though who am I to judge?)/
The thing I learned most from speaking to her these last few days is how similar we are. Far more similar than different, in fact. I dont have a biological sibling, let alone a twin, but it is immediately apparent to me that Julia is closer than even a twin. She is me. In a different guise.
Will she stay or will she go away for another 20 years? I dont know. I rather hope she can stay, and in a way that everyone else here is happy with. Like all house guests that may not be possible.
If she decides to leave, though, I know that i can always catch a glimpse of her in my beautiful, talented, confident daughter. She has not met Julia yet and I do not know whether she ever will. If she does, I hope and trust that she will be able to accept, if not love, Dad's mad other half.
TTFN
Julian
She is feisty, analytical and sometimes emotionally sensitive. At other times she gets it completely wrong.
Coming from a background of philosophy and law, that may not be too surprising.
Politically, she is left-leaning, but has felt that she has, almost unconsciously, developed an increasingly right wing appearance; it isnt that she takes those views to heart, but it more that after nearly 50 years of living among us all, she knows that the fruits of idealism cannot always be easily or practically realised; that hard choices have to be made where resources of time or nature are limited.
She loves art (mainly the post impressionists, but some modern work, too) and literature (Flaubert is a fave, as is Ian M Banks and his ideas of The Culture where highly evolved humans are able to change gender at will). Musically her tastes are conservative with a few twists - Mozart and Chopin for every day listening but when she wants to be moved to tears, which is often, it has to be Beethoven with his all encompassing understanding of the human condition. True for all times and all people. On other occasions she indulges in the odd guilty pleasure like most of us, such as a bit of MeatLoaf, Rainbow or even musical theatre (Les Mis and Evita in particular).
She is a child of her times. As am I.
Although apparently conservative she has a reckless streak - loves inappropriately fast cars and drives a Jaguar. She hasnt quite plucked up courage to race that but she has raced a bike, and didnt do too badly for her age.
I have spoken to her a lot about our relationship this last week. She says, unhelpfully, that it is for me to work out: that she will always be there when I want to speak to her, and that the one thing she can definitely NOT promise, is not to be troublesome. Hmm.
Whether she will be a constant house guest or a distant friend whom I only speak to from time to time, I do not yet know. Her fashion sense is questionable, though she has a clearly defined idea of her own femininity - and thankfully that seems to be more or less appropriate for someone of her age (though who am I to judge?)/
The thing I learned most from speaking to her these last few days is how similar we are. Far more similar than different, in fact. I dont have a biological sibling, let alone a twin, but it is immediately apparent to me that Julia is closer than even a twin. She is me. In a different guise.
Will she stay or will she go away for another 20 years? I dont know. I rather hope she can stay, and in a way that everyone else here is happy with. Like all house guests that may not be possible.
If she decides to leave, though, I know that i can always catch a glimpse of her in my beautiful, talented, confident daughter. She has not met Julia yet and I do not know whether she ever will. If she does, I hope and trust that she will be able to accept, if not love, Dad's mad other half.
TTFN
Julian
Title: Re: Hello from across the pond
Post by: Lyndsey on January 02, 2016, 07:24:40 PM
Post by: Lyndsey on January 02, 2016, 07:24:40 PM
hi Julia
Well done but I had to think for a minute as my music is a lot deferent. I love rock and roll. I really think there is a lot of difference between England and New England. But there isn't in how we feel so you can just say as you feel but I was not sure I got it. But I'm Blonde so there it is.
Hug's
Lyndsey
Well done but I had to think for a minute as my music is a lot deferent. I love rock and roll. I really think there is a lot of difference between England and New England. But there isn't in how we feel so you can just say as you feel but I was not sure I got it. But I'm Blonde so there it is.
Hug's
Lyndsey