Susan's Place Transgender Resources

Hi everyone,
I've decided against herbals. I'm just going with an endo the regular route.

One thing I wonder a lot about : do you have to get used to the changes hrt causes? Getting used to your new appearence I mean?
I have autism and thus have a hard time to get used to new changes . However I'm very determined that I need estrogen and a blocker to relieve the dysphoria that got very badly at this point : suicidal thoughts , moodiness , agressiveness ,...
I hope the changes are gradual enough ....
Also ... Is your way of thinking about this changing on hormones?

The changes for me happened so gradually that it was easy to adjust to things as I became comfortable looking in the mirror - and honestly everyday it got a little bit better and that's a good feeling. The weirdest part was like wearing a bra and presenting as a woman in public, e.g., using the women's restroom or speaking to a cashier/using my voice in public.

it's slow change

It happens so slowly some people think nothing has happened until they look at a pick of the self from six or twelve months earlier. HRT is powerful but the physical changes to the face are subtle. The more dramatic changes people experience in their face usually come from surgery (which of course not everyone has) and, to a lesser degree, beard removal, eye brow tidying, change in hair style/length etc.

Yes I did - I am not used to all the fat going to my face. Cheeks have become somewhat rounder and all my fine lines disappeared. Face definitely got rounder on HRT.

April

Quote from: MtFGenderQueer on December 29, 2015, 09:03:03 AM
Hi everyone,
I've decided against herbals. I'm just going with an endo the regular route.

One thing I wonder a lot about : do you have to get used to the changes hrt causes? Getting used to your new appearence I mean?
I have autism and thus have a hard time to get used to new changes . However I'm very determined that I need estrogen and a blocker to relieve the dysphoria that got very badly at this point : suicidal thoughts , moodiness , agressiveness ,...
I hope the changes are gradual enough ....
Also ... Is your way of thinking about this changing on hormones?

One way or another our appearance will change as we age.  A transgender transition on HRT can be dramatic but over a period of several years we do get multiple opportunities to adjust.  Yes, my ways of thinking and the perspective from here is significantly different than the past.  I am one of those who does not feel like or claim to be "the same person" after transition. You can work closely with your provider to adjust your dosages to fit YOU.

If you took hormones but your appearence wouldnt change then i dont get what the usage of HRT would be for lol.
So yes you have to deal with the changes that are not always like you would have expected them to be and are often wayyyyy to slow.  I am planning on getting my FFS in 1-2 month ( as soon as i can), this will be a drastic change, not like how HRT work . With hormones, you have time to adjust to it but surgery... i will just wake-up with a different face.. i am scared  but you know... i want to get rid of my dysphoria at whatever cost.

To be honest I do not see much changes caused by the hrt. The changes through the surgeries are drastic (FFS,BA, GCS).

If there are changes they happened so slow that I do not see them.

Changes are slow. Typically changes happen over the course of years, perhaps 2-10.

There will be that first day when you see your blouse being held away from the stomach by your chest... :) That might surprise you.

Then when you are looking straight ahead and see your breasts out of the bottom of your eyes... :o That might surprise you.

One day you'll see your shadow, with a shape of a woman...that'll surprise you.

All happy surprises, not scary ones.

Most days I hate that I don't look feminine enough... but I try not to let it bother me. Passing is NOT the issue (I have zero problems passing). It's about being the prettiest girl in the room, which I sometimes am, but... yeah I know, I need to learn to love myself more.

It was about a few years till everything normalized for me when it came to my body. That first year I felt like this weird alien thing and started having some doubts but it all worked out in the end. I had a lot of drama going on in my life back then so thinking back, I dont know if it was the stress or just the hrt making me feel that way, probably both. Its another puberty but this time around its like incredibly relieving to be on the right one (calms dysphoria, helps with depression, etc) but you still go through the awkwardness of it all.

My body was a bit too overzealous at accepting the E and the changes happened much quicker than I expected. It really did scare me at first and made me wonder if this is really the right path for me. My face changed so much over 3 months that I couldn't pass as a guy anymore no matter what I wore or what my voice sounded like. It didn't take long to actually like what I was seeing though. I hadn't looked in a mirror in over a decade, not intentionally anyway. Now I check myself out in the mirror every chance I get.

Here is an exemple of what you need to get used to. I wasnt expecting that today:

-I went to the theater without a bra and a few moment after having took my seat , i checked down and both my girls were saying "Hello world".This was embarassing, never again! I need to get used to wear bra all the time now :-\

15 months hrt here. Comfortable with the changes but still not used to it.

Quote from: iKate on December 29, 2015, 02:54:25 PM
Most days I hate that I don't look feminine enough... but I try not to let it bother me. Passing is NOT the issue (I have zero problems passing). It's about being the prettiest girl in the room, which I sometimes am, but... yeah I know, I need to learn to love myself more.

This is so true for me. I've started to realize that when I look at a young beautiful cis girl my feelings of jealousy are probably not just dysphoria but a shared experienced with all women who live in a society with (1) unrealistic beauty expectations for women and (2) a society where women are valued more for their looks than their intelligence or talent.

Quote from: iKate on December 29, 2015, 02:54:25 PM
Most days I hate that I don't look feminine enough... but I try not to let it bother me. Passing is NOT the issue (I have zero problems passing). It's about being the prettiest girl in the room, which I sometimes am, but... yeah I know, I need to learn to love myself more.

Kate, hon, I just want to say that you are gorgeous.  I smile every time you post a new avatar.  :)

*

Browse the 'Before and After' and 'Pass' threads to see how we all changed.  Some of us on hormones alone, others used various extra surgeries, all according to our own comfort level.

I was quite pleased how my appearance changed on ERT alone.  My mind's eye did not see as quickly as others saw the physical changes.  I began ERT in 1979 and was in 'male fail' by 1983 so bad that, while still presenting at work as 'male', they fired me for being F-M transsexual.

It took me 10 years post-op to wipe out all doubt in my own epiphany.  I awoke groggy one morning at my motel room while on vacation.  I was startled at the appearance of a woman as I entered the bathroom.  How did she enter my room?  Then I realised that is my reflection in the mirror - I AM that woman in the mirror.  I really made it!

Okay, I am now older.  I enjoy my present appearance as much as I appreciate my former youth.

*

Quote from: iKate on December 29, 2015, 02:54:25 PM
Most days I hate that I don't look feminine enough... but I try not to let it bother me. Passing is NOT the issue (I have zero problems passing). It's about being the prettiest girl in the room, which I sometimes am, but... yeah I know, I need to learn to love myself more.

When I was young child in school I wished I could be a girl I didn't care if I would be the ugliest girl in school, just that I could be a girl. I would look at the girls everyone thought were plain or ugly and still wish I was them. Now that I have transitioned I'm just happy to be a woman. I do take pride in my appearance, but being accepted as a woman trumps that. All women are beautiful if they are in their hearts.
Back on topic, my youngest commented that my cheeks looked bigger and that my face was rounder I really had not noticed till they pointed it out.

Not really. HRT is about slow changes.

Even after drastic surgeries takes pretty little time to adjust to your fresh new look.

only 10ish months but I havent seen anything drastic its all very slow, which is anoying because I keep having doubts that its working at all. It has become very difficult to sleep on my chest..due to developments not big ones just sensitive ones.

Serena

Quote from: MtFGenderQueer on December 29, 2015, 09:03:03 AM
One thing I wonder a lot about : do you have to get used to the changes hrt causes? Getting used to your new appearence I mean?
. . . However I'm very determined that I need estrogen and a blocker to relieve the dysphoria that got very badly at this point : suicidal thoughts , moodiness , agressiveness ,...
I hope the changes are gradual enough ....
Also ... Is your way of thinking about this changing on hormones?

Hormonally-induced changes are gradual over months and years if you're talking about the physical changes like breast growth, fat redistribution, changes in muscle mass, etc.  These changes don't happen overnight, so you have plenty of time to adapt to them.

I've noticed that people who had high levels of distress from gender dysphoria often report rapid (and usually welcome) changes in their emotional state.  I'm no doctor, but I think the rapid emotional change for these folks isn't so much a product of the hormones themselves, as it is a sense of relief that they feel they have finally taken a major step forward towards resolution of their gender issues.

In my case, the changes caused by HRT were not something to fear.  I like the changes.  HRT has softened some of my rough edges in a way that I like.

Oh btw I AM at peace with myself. I look in the mirror I see ME. Minus the little dangly thing that's going byebye In a year or so and what I'm fixing with FFS I love myself. People may call me ugly or whatever but I'm still a woman and I still look good to me. And I still blend and pass like nobody's business.