Susan's Place Transgender Resources

i'm 58 and i just came out as transgender on thanksgiving.

before i came out, i used to have unreasonable fears that something terrible would happen if anyone ever found out that i was feminine.

it was a vague, amorphous, generalized, undefined fear. but it was a first order fear. a fight or flight fear. survival panic terror type fear.  even toward the end i was still debating, even after setting thankgiving as a date weeks earlier, i continued to hold my doubts close. finally what put me over the edge?  countering the voice inside me that kept saying 'you're too old' another thought emerged 'this could be for you a crowning achievement of a life-long struggle.'   long story short finally faced my fears and came out.   now i'm out and guess what? nothing terrible happened. the cat's out of the bag and the jig's up. i have nothing to do now but work on my own feminization goals in my own time.  this year my new year's resolutions are in the form of feminization goals. 2015 i come out (finally). 2016 i'm out and about.

Hey Jane!

Welcome to Susan's  :)  Great to have you here - looking forward to seeing you around the forum.

Thanks for sharing a bit about yourself - it's always great to have goals, because it means you can tick them off the list when you do them!

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Cheers

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Quote from: Jane Emily on January 03, 2016, 12:01:28 AM
i'm 58 and i just came out as transgender on thanksgiving.

before i came out, i used to have unreasonable fears that something terrible would happen if anyone ever found out that i was feminine.

it was a vague, amorphous, generalized, undefined fear. but it was a first order fear. a fight or flight fear. survival panic terror type fear.  even toward the end i was still debating, even after setting thankgiving as a date weeks earlier, i continued to hold my doubts close. finally what put me over the edge?  countering the voice inside me that kept saying 'you're too old' another thought emerged 'this could be for you a crowning achievement of a life-long struggle.'   long story short finally faced my fears and came out.   now i'm out and guess what? nothing terrible happened. the cat's out of the bag and the jig's up. i have nothing to do now but work on my own feminization goals in my own time.  this year my new year's resolutions are in the form of feminization goals. 2015 i come out (finally). 2016 i'm out and about.

Congrats Emily! Im sure there was a huge weight lifted off of you after dragging it around so long. im 29 jist came out to a couple of close friends and family. I will definitely be losing my wife over this but hopefully in time we can become great friends. yesterday was the first time for me going out in public as my true self. A woman that was a huge accomplishment for me. anyways stay in touch I would love to hear about your progression [emoji1]

Sent from my SM-G900P using Tapatalk

Hello Jane

One thing is for sure: there are plenty of people of your and my vintage just starting on their journeys. Good luck with yours.

Julia

Congratulations! It's great to be free and out of the closet! I came out at 47, full time at 48, and feeling wonderful!

:)

Hugs for everybody.  crazycool86, I'm so sorry about your marriage but I celebrate with you coming out.

Hi Jane  :icon_wave:

Welcome to Susan's  :)  Glad to have you here, join on in the fun

Hugs

V M

Jane,

Welcome aboard. I am a 50 something member. There is a lot of support and good advice here.

Take care,

Joanna

Hi Jane, congratulations and welcome! I'm still new to this as well, but may I ask if you came out to coworkers? I'm struggling with that one and would benefit from hearing how you went about it (only if you feel comfortable doing so!).

Hi Jane, welcome to Susan's Place! I'm from Boston and I'm 54. I'm glad you decided to join us.

Hugs, Devlyn

Quote from: Devlyn Marie on January 12, 2016, 12:27:43 PM
Hi Jane, welcome to Susan's Place! I'm from Boston and I'm 54. I'm glad you decided to join us.

Hugs, Devlyn

Thanks Devlyn. I haven't checked this thread in awhile. can I ask you, 'are you of irish american ancestry like myself? also,
i'm from denver (i bleed orange).

Hello Jane and welcome to Susan's. Congratulations on coming out! I came out at 56. I came out to my church congregation in 2012. Recently I came out to my sister. My nieces found out about me and are accepting. It's truly has been wonderful.

Quote from: Jane Emily on January 23, 2016, 12:53:54 PM


Thanks Devlyn. I haven't checked this thread in awhile. can I ask you, 'are you of irish american ancestry like myself? also,
i'm from denver (i bleed orange).

Yes, I am! My dad grew up on O Street in Southie. (Speaking Boston here, in case you're uninitiated!) Mom was Belgian, meh, at least they have chocolate!  :laugh:

Hugs, Devlyn

Congratulations. I am 53 years young.

Quote from: FrankNstein on January 06, 2016, 06:46:17 PM
Hi Jane, congratulations and welcome! I'm still new to this as well, but may I ask if you came out to coworkers? I'm struggling with that one and would benefit from hearing how you went about it (only if you feel comfortable doing so!).

sorry i haven't check this thread in awhile.  i'm self employed so it's not a big deal. maybe subconsciously my career choices have over the last 10 years have just led me to choose more independent, yes and more solitary, work. but i do think coming out is easier than presenting. that causes a whole different set of decisions, compromises and comfort level.  i just presented for the first time as female to my sister a couple of days ago. at a starbucks.  she was really supportive and we just sat and chatted for about 2 hours.  i felt really comfortable there. and i was totally cross dressed. i feel more comfortable i guess just thinking about short term goals and finding ways to come out and present than thinking too much about the big picture down the road. sometimes all i do in a new social situation is wear nail polish. but it's enough to at least convey to others that i am trans. i guess it's sort of me fighting to claim new territory for  my newly accepted  identity to live in.

Quote from: Devlyn Marie on January 23, 2016, 05:10:10 PM
Yes, I am! My dad grew up on O Street in Southie. (Speaking Boston here, in case you're uninitiated!)
Hugs, Devlyn

I know southie from good will hunting and a brother in law of mine is from quernsee(i think i got the phonetic spelling right at least).
i love boston. the "irish homeland" in  america.

Quote from: gennee on January 23, 2016, 02:03:43 PM
Hello Jane and welcome to Susan's. Congratulations on coming out! I came out at 56. I came out to my church congregation in 2012. Recently I came out to my sister. My nieces found out about me and are accepting. It's truly has been wonderful.

i totally agree. it's such a simple concept and yet was so hard for me to grasp:

it's always easier being one's true self.

Quote from: Rachel Lynn on January 23, 2016, 05:55:33 PM
Congratulations. I am 53 years young.

thank you rachel lynn.  it's comforting to know there are so many in my age group that are dealing with the same issues as me.

I'm right next to Quinzee!  :laugh: (Quincy for you non-locals!)

that's so cool. i was in boston in 99 and stayed at the youth hostel over in the back bay area for a couple nites. i mostly just rested after a month long trip around new  york and new england. i saw all the touristy sites and hiked up to bunker hill. followed by about a 5 day drive back to denver.  there is so much history there. kind of like living in an american history museum.