Susan's Place Transgender Resources

Hello everyone,  I am just starting transition and am married to a wonderful supportive woman.  I would like to remain intimate with her as long as possible.  Can anyone help with their experience on this?

the thing is, the effects and timescale of hormones varies based on genetics and what seems like luck. some trans women find after a few weeks on HRT they totally stop reacting down there, others have been on hormones for decades and still rise to the occasion when needed.

I think most find that though random activity bellow the belt is rare after a few months, most can still get most of what they used to have when they need it. though it may take more work to get there and it may not sustain itself as well as it used to.

Dependent on how your wife deals with your transision and where her sexuality falls in this situation intimate activity can continue all through your transision though it may evolve over time to include more manual, oral and toy based activites and your sex lives may in time more resemble that of two women than a hetero married couple, which is really whats happening.

Also don't give up hope or sell your wife short before things have happened, if she considers herself straight and would never have considered sex with a woman before, that dose not compleatly rule out that her love for you may lead to her exploring where exactly the boarders of her sexuality stand.

I think the best advice I can give for you and your wife is to take things slow, don't try and force each other into anything, talk and listen to how the other feels and try and figure out what you each need, and if you reach a impasse don't let it frustrate you, just try and find the most agreeable solution. then again that is also the best advice I can come up with for any couple so nothing really changes.

Serena

Welcome to Susan's Place. Depending on your wife, you may find that cuddling and paying extra attention/time with her may be a good substitute for sex. Remember the old saying, men give affection to get sex and women give sex to get affection. The dynamics of your relationship might change over time but it could get stronger if you are listening to each other more and fulfill the others needs better. Don't assume what your wife wants but instead talk with her about it.

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Hi Hannah,

A big Aussie welcome to Susan's family. It's good of you to drop in and say "Hi". Hope you like it here, and you stay for a while.

There is a mountain of information, resources and friendship waiting for you here, you just need to jump in start talking and ask any question you like. You're quite safe here and we are very accepting.

I think what Valwen said is on the money. I have a more pragmatic approach to relationships. You can't have your cake and eat it at the same time. Deal with the issue before the cake goes mouldy.

Looking forward to hearing more of your story in time to come, but in the meantime, be safe, well and happy.

Speak to you as soon as clean the oven.

Lotsa huggs
Catherine

Thank you all for your responses! This issue has caused me some anxiety as she has made it clear that it is important to her. But if I understand correctly that part of transition is reversible if it should be lost. I do take comfort in that in the case it becomes a major issue in our relationship.  Thanks again girls!

Hi Hannah,

If you are refering to, "that" part of transition, being hormone therapy; to some degree may be reversible. But no guarantees. It would probably require cessation to your HT programme and the reintroduction of testosterone or similar hormone (L-Al?? ? ?? pops into mind)

What that does to you psychologically is uncharted waters, but it couldn't be considered as nice.

If your SO has deemed it an imperative, you only have one solution. Deal with it. Transition is not something you can switch on and off at someone's whim and fancy. Should you choose not to find that solution, then someone other than yourself may make decisions and outcomes you neither like or have control over. If you choose to deal with the situation, you have power to negotiate a satisfactory outcome.

If anxiety is an issue for you, you may wish to choose the proactive option in preference to the reactive one.

Keep in touch and let us know how you're coping

Speak to you as soon as I pat the cat.

Huggs
Catherine

We had a couple of nice talks since I have posted and it's full speed ahead.  We will deal with it when it happens by finding other ways of love making.  Having a wife that is somewhat attracted to women helps.  ☺

Hi Hannah,

So pleased to hear it has worked out for you both. Communication in every aspect of life is just so imperative. Solves so many problems.

Speak to you as soon as I chase the possum out of the house.

Huggs
Catherine