Community Conversation => Transgender talk => Topic started by: shirobeans on January 09, 2016, 01:17:28 PM Return to Full Version
Title: Coming out to my GP to start my life?
Post by: shirobeans on January 09, 2016, 01:17:28 PM
Post by: shirobeans on January 09, 2016, 01:17:28 PM
Hi everyone!
So, basically, I've got an appointment to see my GP next week, and I plan to tell him about myself being trans because I want to know what my next steps are, option wise.
I'm very comfortable in knowing who I am. Like, of course when I was first addressing the idea I may be FtM, I was terrified. But now I'm pretty comfortable in who I am. In fact, I'm very very happy with being me now! (Not that it's a magic cure for all my problems, but it's certainly helpful being able to love yourself, which is something I've struggled with for a long while.)
The only trouble is, I'm worried.
Like, really worried that my GP is going to put this down as part of me being depressed. I've been on and off anti-depressants since I was 15 (I'm 22 now) and this is completely separate, but I'm worried about it being lumped in with my past medical records.
Despite being very comfortable with myself I'm also hesitant when it comes to talking aloud about myself. On paper, I feel I can convey my feelings fairly eloquently, so I originally planned to do so and take it along to my appointment like a cue-card. But I feel that I might not be taken seriously because of this.
Does anybody have any general advice for this?
Also, as a side question, how long did it take for people to call you by your chosen name? My mum has known for a while now but even when we're alone, she won't call me by my chosen name (Cory), whereas my friends do, and even my siblings. Perhaps I'm expecting too much too soon, but it does hurt a bit when she calls me by my birth name (which actually isn't very different to my chosen name.)
So, basically, I've got an appointment to see my GP next week, and I plan to tell him about myself being trans because I want to know what my next steps are, option wise.
I'm very comfortable in knowing who I am. Like, of course when I was first addressing the idea I may be FtM, I was terrified. But now I'm pretty comfortable in who I am. In fact, I'm very very happy with being me now! (Not that it's a magic cure for all my problems, but it's certainly helpful being able to love yourself, which is something I've struggled with for a long while.)
The only trouble is, I'm worried.
Like, really worried that my GP is going to put this down as part of me being depressed. I've been on and off anti-depressants since I was 15 (I'm 22 now) and this is completely separate, but I'm worried about it being lumped in with my past medical records.
Despite being very comfortable with myself I'm also hesitant when it comes to talking aloud about myself. On paper, I feel I can convey my feelings fairly eloquently, so I originally planned to do so and take it along to my appointment like a cue-card. But I feel that I might not be taken seriously because of this.
Does anybody have any general advice for this?
Also, as a side question, how long did it take for people to call you by your chosen name? My mum has known for a while now but even when we're alone, she won't call me by my chosen name (Cory), whereas my friends do, and even my siblings. Perhaps I'm expecting too much too soon, but it does hurt a bit when she calls me by my birth name (which actually isn't very different to my chosen name.)
Title: Re: Coming out to my GP to start my life?
Post by: AnonyMs on January 09, 2016, 01:27:56 PM
Post by: AnonyMs on January 09, 2016, 01:27:56 PM
My GP doesn't know I'm trans. I only used him to get referrals to the people I need to see.
I'd not rely on a GP to know what to do. This is generally not their expertise.
Research the matter yourself, and get ready to tell the GP what you want. Post in the forums and ask if anyone can recommend the people in your area.
It sounds like you need to speak to a psych specializing in gender issues. Find a good one and tell the doctor that's who you want to see.
Write it all down and give it to them? If you're not taken seriously there's a problem with the doctor; the fact that you can't talk about it shows how serious it is.
I'd not rely on a GP to know what to do. This is generally not their expertise.
Research the matter yourself, and get ready to tell the GP what you want. Post in the forums and ask if anyone can recommend the people in your area.
Quote from: shirobeans on January 09, 2016, 01:17:28 PM
The only trouble is, I'm worried.
Like, really worried that my GP is going to put this down as part of me being depressed. I've been on and off anti-depressants since I was 15 (I'm 22 now) and this is completely separate, but I'm worried about it being lumped in with my past medical records.
It sounds like you need to speak to a psych specializing in gender issues. Find a good one and tell the doctor that's who you want to see.
Quote from: shirobeans on January 09, 2016, 01:17:28 PM
Despite being very comfortable with myself I'm also hesitant when it comes to talking aloud about myself. On paper, I feel I can convey my feelings fairly eloquently, so I originally planned to do so and take it along to my appointment like a cue-card. But I feel that I might not be taken seriously because of this.
Write it all down and give it to them? If you're not taken seriously there's a problem with the doctor; the fact that you can't talk about it shows how serious it is.
Title: Re: Coming out to my GP to start my life?
Post by: Kylo on January 09, 2016, 01:58:58 PM
Post by: Kylo on January 09, 2016, 01:58:58 PM
It is likely to be thought of as a significant cause/part of depression. But cause, not effect of.
It's not your GP's job to diagnose you as transgender. It's their job to refer you to a gender therapist at a GIC who will do that. Ask them for a referral to a GIC.
I myself have a significant history of depression and anxiety. Being depressed doesn't contradict being trans, but rather corroborates it. Most trans people apparently experience forms of dysphoria, depression or/and anxiety. They practically go hand in hand.
Since you want to tell your GP I assume you want to know what options there are for transition. If you get a referral to a GIC you will get much more information there than your GP will provide on what hormonal, therapy or surgical options are available to you in your country.
It's not your GP's job to diagnose you as transgender. It's their job to refer you to a gender therapist at a GIC who will do that. Ask them for a referral to a GIC.
I myself have a significant history of depression and anxiety. Being depressed doesn't contradict being trans, but rather corroborates it. Most trans people apparently experience forms of dysphoria, depression or/and anxiety. They practically go hand in hand.
Since you want to tell your GP I assume you want to know what options there are for transition. If you get a referral to a GIC you will get much more information there than your GP will provide on what hormonal, therapy or surgical options are available to you in your country.
Title: Re: Coming out to my GP to start my life?
Post by: Rachel on January 09, 2016, 02:46:17 PM
Post by: Rachel on January 09, 2016, 02:46:17 PM
I switched my GP to a LGBT primary care that also does my trans care. My GP is fantastic and I feel totally comfortable with him.
My GP put me on depression medication. The medication helps me to get past the severe dysphoria episodes quicker. I still have dysphoria but I am more resilient most of the times.
Name, at work it is fine. At home my wife uses my dead name. We are in the process of divorce so eventually that will sort itself out. If it bothers you to the point of causing mental anguish I would set boundaries to protect yourself. Eventually you may distance yourself from your Mom.
My GP put me on depression medication. The medication helps me to get past the severe dysphoria episodes quicker. I still have dysphoria but I am more resilient most of the times.
Name, at work it is fine. At home my wife uses my dead name. We are in the process of divorce so eventually that will sort itself out. If it bothers you to the point of causing mental anguish I would set boundaries to protect yourself. Eventually you may distance yourself from your Mom.
Title: Re: Coming out to my GP to start my life?
Post by: BeverlyAnn on January 09, 2016, 03:32:02 PM
Post by: BeverlyAnn on January 09, 2016, 03:32:02 PM
I had told my GP a few years ago I was trans but not doing anything about it at that time. I had to see her due to a cold two days after my therapist had said she would write my HRT letter so I told her what was going on. I had been depressed before seeing my therapist and my GP asked if I needed antidepressants. I just smiled and said, "Not after Wednesday."