Susan's Place Transgender Resources

Well after much contemplating about whether I should or not I dropped of my wife at the train station went back home took a bath and dressed female.

I decidid I am going to give this a shot I went out of the room the two people that is cleaning the house looked at me funny and I decided O well one barier down. I then decided let me take this one step further and get it over and done with. I asked my mom if I can come to her work it is sort of a family business that she is working for so other family is also there so they can meet Amoray.

O well I got in the car stopped for petrol and I got out to buy cooldrink at the shop for me and my mom. This was scary and sweat started pouring down my face. A man and I walked into each other in the one isle and I got a polite smile.

Well when I got to my mothers work I was very nervous this is the first time she is seeing me fully dressed with the wig and everything. She was suprised how feminine I looked.

Then came a guy that I know from my Batchelor party he did not know what my mother was trying to explain bit brought me a chair and his wife facial expression was priceless he did not exactly know how to greet me and was shuddering to the whole time I actually felt sorry for him. Me and my mother was chatting the hours away.I had to go to the bathroom and went to the girls one. Then came time to visit my two aunts and my uncle in their office well my aunt told me I am beautiful I have bothing to be ashamed off. My uncle was pretty receptive as well my other aunt started preaching for me of what I am doing to my child and wife I told her my wife is done with me I tried to be a man for her and I was not enough.

I also met my mothers ex boyfriend that jokingly said he would do my I am damn gorgious. Then told me it was inevitable he was waiting for this day and the results is spectacular. I was shocked. As I was on my way out of the door my mothers uncle saw me and I always looked up to him as my role model. He stretched his arms out and gave me a hug and told me also I am gorgious.He told me I must be happy that is all that matters.

I was suprised with the positive response that I received from the family except for one or two. I actually had so much fun enjoyed and my marriage was the last thing on my mind. :)

Edit:

Well I must add that I dressed male when I got home but I really enjoyed being female. I really enjoyed people seeing me as female even though the family got the pronounce wrong I did not really care. My mother was so sweet she really tried hard.Now I am sitting sort of sad because I know this move signals in a way that I am showing the relationship with my wife the finger. Actually there is no relationship anymore. I can't call that thing a relationship. Being Amoray did not take the pain away but there where some sort of strange peace in me that I could not explain. I love being Amoray after today.

Hey,

I've read your recent posts and just wanted to say I'm kinda proud of you for finally taking the steps to make yourself happy; despite your wife. I hope you are able to keep it up :)

  Nice to hear it went well with your family, you took a big step and faced your fears.

You have taken the first and biggest step towards becoming the person You need to Be and the world did not implode . In fact I believe that things went very well with Your family so rejoice and enjoy it

Toni

Yay!  Good for you!  I am glad it went well with your family.

Congrats on your "coming out" although it seems that people knew or were expecting it. Nonetheless it takes more nerve that people appreciate.

I do not know how the transition process operates in SA but if you are prepared to start living in a female role I would have thought that it can only help.

I won't say it was a coming out they knew I was transgender but none of them ever met "Amoray". It was the first time they saw me like this and people actually went and told my mother afterwards what a beautiful daughter she have. So it is sort of a huge confidence boost for me. My aunt said I look a lot like my sister. It was scary as hell actually I was sweating all my makeup off. ::)

The sweat thing decreases with HRT which makes it easier to keep the make up on

congrats on the family acceptance , a big step. My niece just decided to accept me after contemplating it for a year.

Amoré,

I have not posted to you much but read your threads. So many others with more experience were giving you great advice.

I know it has been hard and am sorry but so glad to see you moving forward. That was very brave of you.

Well done.

With warmth,

Joanna

Such wonderful news. This made my day.

It's wonderful things went well with the family. Hugs
Mariah

Good on you, What you did was take a positive step towards being Happy....Fantastic, well done

Good on you, Amoray!


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Having only presented as female publicly twice in my life, I know how scary and yet liberating it can be.
*HIGH5* GIRL!!!

*hugs* and congrats for taking that wonderful step!

It's always awesome when everything goes positive! One step down, many more steps down the road to a bright future.
Remember to take things slowly and always always keep your head up.

Kate <3

Amoré-

You just took a huge, positive step - you did something for yourself without worrying about who would care. The positive feedback you got from your family is confirmation that you are a very pretty woman, and it is also an indicator that you are on the right path.

I think that the genie is out of the bottle  :)

The next time you go out as your authentic self it will be easier because you gained some confidence this time.

Oh My God!! Way to go girl! Word cannot express how proud I am of you!! I know it's been hard, hun but it seems like everything is going to be just fine for your new life!! So excited for you!!!

Now do you believe you're gorgeous, darling??

Congrats Amoray.. Your post inspired me to register just so i could say good for you. Im not out to anyone but my wife and sister in law. So facing family presenting female is a really brave step. Dont sell yourself short, you did a courageous thing so im sending you an e-hug

You've had so many painful and stressful events in your life.  I'm so pleased this went well.  Yes, there is a future.  And yes, the future is better than the past.

Amor'e I"m so glad you have found your family so supportive you deserve this with this kind of support the sky is the limit you go girl

   all my admiration

   bobbisue :D

Now I don't want to present male anymore my brain has like a type of mental block if I look at the male me in the mirror I see a lost guy that is broken.He is tired he looks as if he done with life. All I can think about is presenting female just being me and feeling free.

It is the weardest sensation I know who I really am now.

Quote from: Amoré on January 13, 2016, 11:09:35 PM
Now I don't want to present male anymore my brain has like a type of mental block if I look at the male me in the mirror I see a lost guy that is broken.He is tired he looks as if he done with life. All I can think about is presenting female just being me and feeling free.

It is the weardest sensation I know who I really am now.

This.  This!!!!!!!!!!   I have been praying for you.  There is a God, and he answers prayers.

Now, everything is changed.  Now that you know who you are, live your life.  Be happy.

I've been following your posts lately, and it's great to see something positive in your situation. Onward and upward!

If My experience is anything to go By now You have seen the real You it is going to be harder and harder to get back into that closet and it will do you no good to do so .Let go and just be Yourself You will be surprised how much support You can get from Your true friends and family .Now you have tasted life on the other side of the fence think deeply as to whether You want or really need to go back. Now you are in a position to take control of Your life please seriously consider doing so .I for one have never for one second regretted starting My transition and to be Quite honest I would rather be Dead than go back to being a sad miserable excuse for a man that I was .I have friends now instead of people that I was forced to interact with People now like Me because I am happy and approachable all Due to being able to be ME and not hiding my true nature from the world .So go Girl life is for living other people live their Lives only for themselves so Why shouldn't We It seems that Your wife is being completely selfish now its Your turn

Hugs

Toni

The selfish part is so true!!!!! Going back in the closet now is impossible and truly I will rather live my life irritating the crap out of her as a woman than give her the pleasure to dictate me further. I really need to get out of this place and move into my own place so hope that I get the job that I am going for an interview for tomorrow. I am going to start mountain biking again also.

I went and bought two summer dresses today I dressed in one but I am just down today. The house help told me O you are a lady now and that pissed me of for some reason. As if I was something else the whole time.

You live for you and the rest will all settle out how it should in the end.

I am so proud of you. I don't even know you and I want to dance for joy with you!

Yes! On getting back to biking. Give yourself things that you enjoy to keep your mind away from those things that aren't so pleasant (negative people, negative situations, etc).

Good luck on the interview!

*hugs*

Yes very good luck with the interview .And make the most of the Mountain Biking while You Can .I was a keen cyclist doing long distance charity rides but now with the lack of testosterone and a lot of oestrogen I have lost so much muscle  and streangth I can scarcely manage a few miles on an electric Bike LOL .Still it's worth it to be ME As to the house helps comment I would not take offence at it As you will find the new You is a different person in more way's than You can ever imagine only time will show how much .So they where only telling it as it is it's just easier for somebody on the outside to see it LOL

That step is so hard to take, but such a relief when you finally do. Congrats!

My family/friends also had a bit of a delay between me telling them and them actually seeing it. I was a lot more nervous showing guys the real me than the women, but it was like nobody even noticed. They never skipped a beat.

Quote from: Emileeeee on January 14, 2016, 09:20:31 AM
That step is so hard to take, but such a relief when you finally do. Congrats!

My family/friends also had a bit of a delay between me telling them and them actually seeing it. I was a lot more nervous showing guys the real me than the women, but it was like nobody even noticed. They never skipped a beat.

I know the guys are so much more intimidating. especially our afrikaans culture. I sort of chickened out today. Tomorrow I must be in male mode maybe saterday I will wing it and put on my dress that I bought today. I want to spite my wife sorry it is a little harsh but she made me mad today blocking me on social media. I am not used to being alone and on my own in life and that scares me.

Yes definitely make sure you have support. I didn't think I would need it, but it turned out that I did.

Congrats Amore, since i let Sophie out of the closet it has been harder to keep her hidden, and the day approaches to do the same as you. Thanks for the little confidence boost you have given me. Hope all works out for you.
Sophie

Quote from: Amoré on January 14, 2016, 10:23:30 AM
I want to spite my wife sorry it is a little harsh but she made me mad today blocking me on social media.

Actually, she's doing you a favor by blocking you.

The less contact you have with her, the better.  Especially at this point, since you simply cannot think past how hurt and angry you feel.

The less contact you have (in real life or on-line), the less occasion to get mad and the less chance you have to do something stupid that will hurt you in the long run.  And the less fuel you give to her anger.

I suggest blocking her, too.

All communication should be through your lawyer.  This isn't being "mean", it's about limiting the damage.

 Its not being selfish to live your life as who you are. Its selfish of others to require you to live the way they want you to.

Congrats girl!! You've got this!  Now that you have experienced life as your true self and you have been validated by your family there will be no stopping you. I have followed your posts and have felt so bad for you. You have gone above and beyond in trying to placate your spouse. You have been anything but selfish. I spent years living my life for others. Now that I have transitioned I am so much happier. I am so glad to hear that your family is supportive. Good luck as you move toward in your new authentic life.

Hey guys

Well today I dressed female again and I am looking after my daughter this weekend while visiting my mother.Okay my mother normally irritates the crap out of me but that is another story.  :(

Well I dressed with a new top that she gave me but it is sort of old lady like it is not me... I hated it being dressed like this it put me off. I felt so uncomfortable and stupid but said nothing. She pushed me to go to the shop like this I went and got the stuff I did not get any funny looks or something but I still felt like the clothes did not suit me. I passed flawlessly if I can put it like that.

Also I have an off day actually a lot of reminders that triggers memories of my and my wife places we went and stuff that we did I miss the good times. I just felt wrong today and guilty. My daughter calling me papa my mother that keeps calling me on the wrong pronouns and stuff like that made it hard on me today. I realised dysphoria can cripple the strongest of people from company ceo's to marines they are tuff like nails. You can't fight who are. You can't really fight your gender identity and change it.

The thing that bothers me. It is really difficult to stay in fem mode especially when you still got so much masculine features. I can pass easily or I think I do. I think I will get more comfortable as time goes by the more feminine I get. But now sometimes I just feel like a man in woman's clothing. For some reason my mother also puts me of from being a woman. I don't want to be like her the old lady that can't help herself everything is dramatic and hoooooo and eeeeeeee and stuff O my gosh no no no. If I am with her I feel like she is making woman out as being helpless and needs men to come and rescue us and crap. She has been like this from forever and that is just who she is. I believe woman can be strong, courageous , beautiful , simplistic but sophisticated and most of all not put on a facade. Look at marines like "Sona" again I reference her. That is a woman that served for there country fought like just as hard as any man. Look at myself I can wheelie a super bike, I can mountain bike the hell out of most guys. I also have been national rc helicopter champion and guess what I am a girl. So why do some woman put on this helpless charade that they do. All that things was not because I have a male body but because I was capable of it and believed I can do it.

I am a tomboy maybe I don't know but why do woman see themselves as inferior? We are not physical that strong as males but we can pack a punch.