Community Conversation => Transsexual talk => Female to male transsexual talk (FTM) => Topic started by: November Fox on January 13, 2016, 11:13:15 AM Return to Full Version
Title: I was wondering if this is normal
Post by: November Fox on January 13, 2016, 11:13:15 AM
Post by: November Fox on January 13, 2016, 11:13:15 AM
This is related to the bottom thread I wrote earlier, where I was asking to ways to cope with the dysphoria, especially caused by wetness down there.
Today it sent me spiraling into a severe anxiety attack and I self-harmed a lot.
I have just sent my therapist an email explaining it, she´s not a gender therapist but she specializes in prolongued childhood trauma, which is what I went through. My talks with the gender therapist hopefully begin around the start of April.
I was just wondering whether my extreme reaction to "things down there" is normal within the margins of gender dysphoria or whether this is really not normal and probably more linked to my traumatic childhood. I know that it is different for anybody though. I also know that it is probably not possible to give a clear cut answer to this, just would like to hear some opinions.
Thanks
Today it sent me spiraling into a severe anxiety attack and I self-harmed a lot.
I have just sent my therapist an email explaining it, she´s not a gender therapist but she specializes in prolongued childhood trauma, which is what I went through. My talks with the gender therapist hopefully begin around the start of April.
I was just wondering whether my extreme reaction to "things down there" is normal within the margins of gender dysphoria or whether this is really not normal and probably more linked to my traumatic childhood. I know that it is different for anybody though. I also know that it is probably not possible to give a clear cut answer to this, just would like to hear some opinions.
Thanks
Title: Re: I was wondering if this is normal
Post by: Devlyn on January 13, 2016, 11:17:11 AM
Post by: Devlyn on January 13, 2016, 11:17:11 AM
Big hug! I hope you're OK. I don't have answers for you, but I want you to know I'm here and I care about you. :)
Hugs, Devlyn
Hugs, Devlyn
Title: Re: I was wondering if this is normal
Post by: November Fox on January 13, 2016, 01:01:08 PM
Post by: November Fox on January 13, 2016, 01:01:08 PM
:) Thank you Devlyn for being there, the support means a lot.
Title: Re: I was wondering if this is normal
Post by: FTMax on January 13, 2016, 03:09:20 PM
Post by: FTMax on January 13, 2016, 03:09:20 PM
I think it's normal. I didn't have bad genital dysphoria until after top surgery, so it's somewhat new for me. Dysphoria has given me anxiety attacks though, and I have self harmed in the past as a result of not having any other ways to cope. So I do think it's within the normal ranges, though obviously not a healthy way to manage your feelings.
Are you packing at all? I've basically started wearing a packer 24/7 since July-ish and that seems to help a bit for me. I can generally put things out of mind if I'm not confronted by the sight of it.
You've got my contact info. If you ever need to talk, give a shout :)
Are you packing at all? I've basically started wearing a packer 24/7 since July-ish and that seems to help a bit for me. I can generally put things out of mind if I'm not confronted by the sight of it.
You've got my contact info. If you ever need to talk, give a shout :)
Title: Re: I was wondering if this is normal
Post by: HeyTrace19 on January 13, 2016, 03:12:05 PM
Post by: HeyTrace19 on January 13, 2016, 03:12:05 PM
I might say that your strong reaction (self harm) is just a coping mechanism that you have learned to pacify yourself when you have strong emotion. It is probably not a function of gender dysphoria nor a function of your childhood experiences...just how you have learned to deal with things. Along with the help of a good therapist, you will eventually come to an understanding of how to 'unlearn' that type of behavior and tolerate your feelings without self harm. I wish you well. Do something for yourself today that truly makes you feel good.
Title: Re: I was wondering if this is normal
Post by: Kylo on January 13, 2016, 04:42:43 PM
Post by: Kylo on January 13, 2016, 04:42:43 PM
I don't think self-harm is normal, but that said, what transgender people feel and go through is not what most people have to experience either. I'd say we are outside of the regular sphere of experience.
Title: Re: I was wondering if this is normal
Post by: November Fox on January 13, 2016, 05:31:15 PM
Post by: November Fox on January 13, 2016, 05:31:15 PM
Quote from: FTMax on January 13, 2016, 03:09:20 PMAre you packing at all? I've basically started wearing a packer 24/7 since July-ish and that seems to help a bit for me. I can generally put things out of mind if I'm not confronted by the sight of it.
You've got my contact info. If you ever need to talk, give a shout :)
Since I started binding I actually have zero top dysforia and incapacitating genital dysphoria. I have a couple of packers but I can´t wear them often, since the sensitivity down there is over the top and anything will cause it to become this unrelenting pain in the ***.
Thanks for the support dude.
I´m not sure about it just being a coping mechanism because there´s also a lot of self-loathing involved, well loathing at my body because I don´t loathe who I am. Not entirely sure how to get over that but I guess it´s something I´ll have to discuss with my therapist.