Community Conversation => Youth talk => Topic started by: SilverWing on January 14, 2016, 09:37:44 AM Return to Full Version
Title: Living advice (just moved out)
Post by: SilverWing on January 14, 2016, 09:37:44 AM
Post by: SilverWing on January 14, 2016, 09:37:44 AM
Recently, I managed to get out of that death trap of a house that I used to live in, and moved to a group home on my 18th birthday. I'll be staying here for three weeks before I go to another place managed by the same organization, where I pay low rent for a room basically.
The thing is, though, I'm not sure what to do if I have a roommate. I mean, everyone here has been pretty good about it (not only calling me Nicole but also using female pronouns [for the first time ever!!], and not just the staff but the residents too); but the thing is I'm not sure if that'll be the same in the place they're going to move me to after three weeks. And I absolutely refuse to delay my transition for anyone (or reverse what little I've already done). So, with that in mind, how could I best get along with a roommate who might not be entirely comfortable with the idea? (I'd personally prefer to have one who doesn't care, but this might not be possible depending on who actually is in residence at the other place, so... At the moment I'm just interested in trying to avoid weirding out others unnecessarily.)
The thing is, though, I'm not sure what to do if I have a roommate. I mean, everyone here has been pretty good about it (not only calling me Nicole but also using female pronouns [for the first time ever!!], and not just the staff but the residents too); but the thing is I'm not sure if that'll be the same in the place they're going to move me to after three weeks. And I absolutely refuse to delay my transition for anyone (or reverse what little I've already done). So, with that in mind, how could I best get along with a roommate who might not be entirely comfortable with the idea? (I'd personally prefer to have one who doesn't care, but this might not be possible depending on who actually is in residence at the other place, so... At the moment I'm just interested in trying to avoid weirding out others unnecessarily.)
Title: Re: Living advice (just moved out)
Post by: FTMax on January 14, 2016, 03:31:40 PM
Post by: FTMax on January 14, 2016, 03:31:40 PM
If you want to avoid weirding people out, don't make a big deal out of it. I'm sure you're excited about being able to be yourself. Save that excitement for your friends, or us here. A random person is not going to care one way or another, but may be bothered if it's the only thing you talk about.
In general, just be considerate. You're both going to need to get along for the length of time that you're staying there, and I'd imagine there aren't a lot of open spaces available to switch to (if any). So make the best of it. I honestly wouldn't even mention it. If they say something about it, be open about it and be willing to have the discussion. But otherwise, it's not something that needs to come up IMO.
In general, just be considerate. You're both going to need to get along for the length of time that you're staying there, and I'd imagine there aren't a lot of open spaces available to switch to (if any). So make the best of it. I honestly wouldn't even mention it. If they say something about it, be open about it and be willing to have the discussion. But otherwise, it's not something that needs to come up IMO.
Title: Re: Living advice (just moved out)
Post by: Dee Marshall on January 14, 2016, 03:38:22 PM
Post by: Dee Marshall on January 14, 2016, 03:38:22 PM
I managed a 14 bed co-ed psychiatric group home. We had one transgender resident and she had no trouble at all, so keep up hope. And yes, she had a female roommate. Be pleasant but watch for danger signs and speak to staff at the first hint.
Title: Re: Living advice (just moved out)
Post by: stephaniec on January 14, 2016, 03:40:49 PM
Post by: stephaniec on January 14, 2016, 03:40:49 PM
Quote from: Dee Marshall on January 14, 2016, 03:38:22 PMditto and good luck
I managed a 14 bed co-ed psychiatric group home. We had one transgender resident and she had no trouble at all, so keep up hope. And yes, she had a female roommate. Be pleasant but watch for danger signs and speak to staff at the first hint.