Susan's Place Transgender Resources

So I just wanna know but what were the emotions you guys felt after finally accepting or knowing you were trans? And envisioning your future and what you would look like?

Im sitting in my room right now and everything in here seems brighter. I feel like I'm half a person when I would try to be a girl but now I don't feel that way.


And this is actually sort of sad but since I always have my doubts still. Do you guys ever get jealous or angry at cismen because they have everything? I always do. And with my male dog too... It's so dumb but I just wanna be like him. A boy. With a penis and all. It's sad but he was the last thing that finally made me be like "ok. What the hell, no girl would ever feel like this. I'm trans and that's that". Yet I'm still like, "what if I'm just <Not Permitted." I feel like I can't believe I'm trans sometimes still because it's just like "why me? Out of everyone else why me?" You know.

Mod Edit:Language

Welcome to Susan's Place. We all have the could have, should have, would haves but at some point you need to take stock of what you have, forget the past and move into the future. I know how hard it is because I knew at 13 what my future would be. At 23 I started my transition and at 30 I completed it. You need to understand that you have so much more available to you than I had that some day you will marvel at how fast it all happened and how completely comfortable you are in your new life.

I know I went the other way, but feel free to ask me any questions you might have.

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I get the "why me" but since I discovered I was trans and that there were online trans communities I realized it's most definitely not the cosmos just picking on me. A lot of people have this same problem. A lot more than I ever thought possible for such a "rare" condition.

I guess I just feel kind of sardonic about my case. I know I'll never be like a normal person in some aspects of my life, probably never feel the way they do. I'll just have to figure out what does make me happy and do what I can to get it. I can't really envision the sort of idyllic future I would like because I'm too used to nipping those sorts of thoughts in the bud. But it would be nice to have certain surgeries for my own peace of mind, even if the thought of surgery makes me want to hurl. I also think I'll never really pass, so I'm not holding my breath or anything. Even if the best I can get is to feel more like myself on T and to get rid of this chest, I'll be happier for it.

Accepting 'Who' you are is a process made all the more difficult by not having a clue who that 'Who' is. Only a what, Transgender. Even that takes time to actually Own it, not just say it, believe it, or live it.

I might be the other way around, but I guess i was always a little lucky in that i knew i wasn't the gender i should be. Its just the road to fully accepting that has been a long one, im not sure iv finished fully walking it either to be honest.

Liberation and completion are what I felt upon self acceptance. I haven't looked back.