Community Conversation => Transsexual talk => Female to male transsexual talk (FTM) => Topic started by: Brandon on January 27, 2016, 03:57:39 AM Return to Full Version
Title: I need feedback on a poem I wrote for this for this girl
Post by: Brandon on January 27, 2016, 03:57:39 AM
Post by: Brandon on January 27, 2016, 03:57:39 AM
I plan on asking this girl out on Valentines day and me and her have been in the talking stage for a little over a month now, so one of the things I am giving her for Valentines day is a poem
What can I say you had me from the start
I always knew you'd steal my heart hard to get
that you played all started from a tbh and now
look at us today
In the beginning you wouldn't buge not even the
slightest bit part of me wanted to give up but part
of me just didn't wanna quit had my eyes sought on the
prize from that very moment so I just sat back and worked my charm and now I finally have it
Beautiful as ever that you are from your smile to your eyes they shine bright just like the starts day by day my feelings grow deeper and deeper like the water that flows
Every hug and every kiss melts my heart away you
light my fire and spark my flame my feelings that I feel are indeed true these poetic words in my head just keep on ringing for you
So while I come to an end in these very few
lines I just wanna know one thing will you be mine
Ps the tbh part basically means to be honest and people tend to do them on fb, she goes to my school but we never talked until that point lol
What can I say you had me from the start
I always knew you'd steal my heart hard to get
that you played all started from a tbh and now
look at us today
In the beginning you wouldn't buge not even the
slightest bit part of me wanted to give up but part
of me just didn't wanna quit had my eyes sought on the
prize from that very moment so I just sat back and worked my charm and now I finally have it
Beautiful as ever that you are from your smile to your eyes they shine bright just like the starts day by day my feelings grow deeper and deeper like the water that flows
Every hug and every kiss melts my heart away you
light my fire and spark my flame my feelings that I feel are indeed true these poetic words in my head just keep on ringing for you
So while I come to an end in these very few
lines I just wanna know one thing will you be mine
Ps the tbh part basically means to be honest and people tend to do them on fb, she goes to my school but we never talked until that point lol
Title: Re: I need feedback on a poem I wrote for this for this girl
Post by: Ritana on January 27, 2016, 04:29:41 AM
Post by: Ritana on January 27, 2016, 04:29:41 AM
It's a beautiful poem but I would personally make it shorter and a bit more to the point.