Susan's Place Transgender Resources

So I made myself a new FB page, and was playing around with it today, and when I pulled up my timeline I had some friend suggestions based on the couple of people I had added, but to my horror it also showed me some suggestions that are my friends right now in my closeted life. I am not out, and don't want Facebook to out me. I took my FB profile down for now, but I would like to put it back up as I want to start building a life for my true self. So I guess my question would be are my friends that are on my boy mode FB not seeing Suzi as a suggestion and I should just chill, or is there a setting I can make that won't push Suzi towards them, or is FB the devil and I should flush it into the toilet???!!!???!!

Help me!
Suzi

We spell Devyl with a "y" around here.  :)

Hugs, Devlyn

Facebook is pretty promiscuous with its friend suggestions.  I set up my FB page for Kathy from a different computer than my boy-mode page in order to minimize cross-talk.  If you set up both pages from the same computer, FB will share the "cookies" and will know that the two people are related.

In my case, I have never looked at Kathy's page from my regular computer, but I have looked at my boy-mode page from 'Kathy's' computer.  That is the only connection.  As a result, I regularly get Kathy's name coming up as a friend suggestion.

I don't think FB will give Kathy's name as a suggestion to my other friends, but I have no way of knowing that for sure unless one of my friends guesses that I am the connection and asks me about her.

The best advice for FB security is to keep the two identities in totally separate worlds.  They should have no friends in common, and neither identity should ever visit the other's page nor any of the other's friends.

If you linked your Facebook accounts together then they likely are. It doesn't mean you need to do anything to your account at this point. It is there when your ready for it. Hugs
Mariah

I have possible 'cross contamination' in that I had used this iPad for my other FB account. I think I solved it though. I nuked both of my FB accounts. Adios Zuckerburg!! Guess it is time to take the links out of my Susan's profile now (I just added them in today hehe)


Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk

Before going public on Facebook I had the same thing.  What I think caused it for me was signing into the Facebook app on my phone, which then looked at all of my phone contacts and made suggestions from there:  People I haven't spoken to from previous jobs in a very long time, service reps I had worked with one time literally ten years prior but their info was still lurking in my phone contact list...........  along with several people I had met at support groups/girls night out events/texting friends I had met online/etc...... 

I was like you, freaking out about the suggestions and didn't want them outing me before I was ready.  In the end as far as I know they were only visible to me and I never acted on them so they never became an issue.

One thing that had occurred to me when this happened:  How many of these suggestions that I am seeing are people that I have met at a support group or whatever but I'm now being shown their "male" persona on Facebook?  (There were quite a few suggestions I got of people I couldn't recognize and to protect anyone else's privacy I never tried either out of respect)  And even more troubling:  How many of these people are seeing *my* male persona as a suggestion because they have my phone number too?!?!  :o No one ever contacted me so I guess I'll never know but I always wondered.

Now that I'm fully out, living as me, and my Facebook account has transitioned with me I'm not concerned at all anymore, I have no secrets left.  Which has been a wonderfully liberating experience.  To sound cliche:  I hadn't realized how great that weight was to carry until it was gone.

Short of doing what you did and deleting/suspending all Facebook accounts the best that can be done is to lock down the privacy settings as far as you can and hope for the best.

Quote from: ImSuziG on January 29, 2016, 12:06:26 PM
So I made myself a new FB page, and was playing around with it today, and when I pulled up my timeline I had some friend suggestions based on the couple of people I had added, but to my horror it also showed me some suggestions that are my friends right now in my closeted life. I am not out, and don't want Facebook to out me. I took my FB profile down for now, but I would like to put it back up as I want to start building a life for my true self. So I guess my question would be are my friends that are on my boy mode FB not seeing Suzi as a suggestion and I should just chill, or is there a setting I can make that won't push Suzi towards them, or is FB the devil and I should flush it into the toilet???!!!???!!

Help me!
Suzi

If you feel insecure in Facebook, never post your photos or writings. Just the 'read-only mode' is possible in Facebook.

BTW, Facebook has been a great place where I can comfortably come out to everybody. Most people in Facebook are supportive of me.

barbie~~

Because of cookies and logging of your IP address, FB knows who you are likely. The same thing exists for most social media. This is where the suggestions came from. Just because they are there though, may not mean this profile is  presented as suggestions to others in your other closeted circles.

This is the same reason when you shop for shoes once, suddenly shoe adds follow you everywhere you go to other sites, etc.

There are ways to be fairly anonymous but they are also work and attention to maintaining them.